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Author: Marie

242 – Hair or no hair, that was the question!?!

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In a recent post, i told you about how after our separation (for vacation) our D/s dynamic seems to (thankfully!) be running smoothly once more.

i also told you about how i ASSUMED Sir was joking when he made an offhand comment to “leave the hair.” The pubic hair that i didn’t shave at all when i was on vacation. The hair that had grown to a “long stubble” stage. It wasn’t terribly long, but certainly longer than it had been in a LOT of years too!

The same pubic hair that i immediately shaved off upon my return home. The same hair that washed down the drain, that just as i was out of the shower, David saw. After seeing his clean pussy he asked me, “Did you really just ignore me?”

And i was in shock. i made the assumption he was just joking. i made an ass out of me, but definitely not out of him. His directive was extremely clear, and i clearly didn’t listen or obey.

But i haven’t had even that much (long stubble) hair between my legs in probably about 10-years now. i couldn’t tell you what natural color it is, if it’s thick or thin, if it’s curly or not, because it’s been THAT long since i have seen it! So i just assumed he truly was just joking.

i honestly don’t remember when i started taking the hair off, via waxing, but it’s been a longggggg time. After i got tired of “the process” of waxing, including making appointments, spending money, opening my legs to a stranger (who wasn’t going to be fucking me)….. i wondered if shaving would be better.

The thing about waxing is that it gets me baby-bottom smooth, that lasts for about a week. Then the stubble starts and grows for another week. Then it’s finally long enough for the wax to attach and pull it out in about another week (or two). A total of a 4-week process, where really only one week is good and the rest are not.

Comparing that to shaving…..

A shave is close, but not as close as waxing, so not completely as smooth as the waxing. And it only lasts for 1-3 days, when the stubble starts to grow back in. But shaving in the shower is already happening with the legs, so it’s not too much more of an effort to just keep on going right up and over the puss too! This keeps it cleaner every day but not quite as good as the first few days of the waxing either.

So probably about 5’ish years ago, i asked David his opinion and preference. He told me he loves his pussy to be clean and smooth, but preferred the shave over the wax as it was more clean for more days than the waxing, and of course, a lot cheaper too.

**In February 2020, David approved for me to start doing the laser hair removal. i started it at that time and was about 3-sessions in when Covid hit. Ugh! And i just haven’t gone back now. Maybe i should reconsider doing that again too.

Anyhoo… in my last post i mentioned the predicament i found myself in… to ask or not to ask was the first and biggest question, but if i didn’t ask, do i you assume the recent “leave the hair” directive is still applicable, or do i assume the standing directive to shave it all off is back in effect?

So this morning, i decided that before i went any further and before i showered (and shaved) the best course of action was to NOT assume anymore and to simply just ask!

Communication is always the key to any relationship…. Friends, co-workers, family, and in a D/s marriage for sure…. including this particular situation too!

His response was simple. He said, “I haven’t decided yet.”

While that answer is quite straightforward, the resulting action for me isln’t quite so straightforward.

i took that to mean, “do nothing until I give you further instructions….” So i did not shave this morning.

He is preparing to go to the airport to fly out for a few days for work. i suspect he will not think about hair or no hair in his absence. Sooooo in some ways, his lack of decision is a decision!

Because i will not shave again until directed to!

i may enjoy seeing all the pubic hair come in…. Or …. i may well be repulsed by it! As he may also!

Maybe he will use the hair to his advantage …. i am bad, need to be punished, he says lay down on my back and spread my legs, and uses a tweezers to pull them out. (Tweezers to pull hair hurts! They sometimes missed hairs with the waxings and finished the process with the tweezers. So i know first hand it hurts!)

i doubt all that though. If i were to guess, the hair will come in to a longgggg stubble in another week or two, start to be just entirely tooooo bushy, and he will give the directive to shave it off.

Time will tell. But what i know for sure is that i won’t be assuming anything he says is a joke or sarcasm again.

While ultimately this was a “little thing,” in and of itself, i learned a lesson this week that my husband truly is in charge, his words are meaningful, and this time…. It’s all him and not me.

As i also told you recently, i gave up on this D/s type of relationship and decided to wait for David to decide if it was right for him. Now i know for sure, it’s HIM and not me, this time. This time, things are different and it’s a good different!

By calling me out on something like this, that previously he wouldn’t have probably (much) cared about, is such great progress forward. This is exactly what i have prayed and waited for and now i know that our D/s relationship truly is in fact on track to be better than ever!!

Now i truly am becoming the best submissive wife i can be, where my only real job is to listen and obey… every time. And i love that position i find myself in! And the overwhelming positive flood of emotions i feel from it!

Hair or no hair, my world couldn’t be better …. Except, of course, the fact that i did orgasm without permission. And after 24-hours of lying in my guilt, i decided to own it and told David. Unfortunately i waited a full 24-hrs to own it, AND i also owned it when he was about 1,000 miles away from home for another 2-days too.

His response was but a single word…. A “hmm.” (Is that even a word?!)

When David gets home, i may be regretting that decision (to orgasm without permission) …. but i will NEVER regret becoming his submissive wife!

Hugs,

Marie

241 – i did it!

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i ordered a Fancy Steel Chastity belt!

It will take probably a full month to get to me, as it is custom made to fit and coming from Australia (to me …. in US – in TX).

As you know, we have been experimenting with a cheap Chinese belt for almost a year now. First one i had was for fun or for punishment, and rarely for extended times. Then i recently got a (new) cheap one that we used more often. i slept in it every night for nearly 2-weeks.

Wearing it at night served it’s purpose of stopping me from masturbating whenever i wanted (at night), as i tend to fall asleep later than David and masturbated right beside him in bed without permission. He didn’t mention wearing it to work, which was probably good overall. In total though, my ultimate goal was working up to more and more time in the belt with less time out, so wearing it to work would’ve been the next step.

But of course, that was when my vacation to the UK happened and of course i wasn’t going to wear it there.

i missed it when it was off really…. for daytime hours and vacation. i didn’t masturbate once during the times it was off though, as i knew it was a privilege to be out! And when i was in UK, i was just too exhausted really. But as soon as i got home, i was a little slut wife and have already masturbated once without permission. (Yikes!)

David has never been in favor of the belt really. He thinks it is an “unnecessary contraption” and that i “should have more self control and self discipline than that” to make it where wearing it shouldn’t be needed. While in essence i agree with him, i also know my own limitations and unfortunately i think it is very necessary. (See above … already did what i shouldn’t!).

In my opinion, whenever there is a tool that makes a job easier, it makes sense to get and use that tool. Why try to put a nail in a board without a hammer? Why try to dig a hole without a post hole digger or a bobcat? Why try to go to UK without a boat or a plane?

So why try to abstain from masturbation without wearing a chastity belt? It is the best tool to get the job done! (Wouldn’t you agree??)

So i have (more or less) begged him to let me buy the long-term, better fitted, more expensive one for a permanent solution to what i perceive as a (huge) problem…. My inability to stop touching myself at will. And to have the best tool for the job!

i am equally excited and fearful about this new belt.

Obviously i am very excited or else i wouldn’t have obsessed over wanting it for this long, pushed David to allow me to get it, AND officially ordered it now.

But i wonder just how long it will be before the shiny new toy is not so shiny anymore. And how long until i beg David to not lock me up, but to “give me a break” from it too.

David didn’t say this … but …. Knowing him as long as i have, i fully anticipate him saying something like, “you wanted it. You spent a lot of money to get it. Now you’ll be obedient and wear it! Besides, you convinced me and you already knew that you need it and it is effective too!”

So the excitement is that i will get the help i need to be a better submissive to my Sir, and to be fully compliant with the biggest rule i have: NO masturbating or orgasming without permission!

But the fear is that i will indeed regret the decision to have a (very powerful) “tool”, and to not just push through and to instead be submissive all on my own power. i wonder how long i will welcome the belt, versus (maybe) start to resent it. i wonder if i truly resent it, if David will relent. Or will it just be a permanent part of our dynamic now…. And will i accept it with complete submissive grace!?!

Or will my ass just be in severe regret?

i will know better the answers to those questions in a little more than a month because this is all set in motion now!!

Stay tuned!

Hugs,

Marie

240 – Being apart; Vacation time

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i can’t remember the last time that David & i were away from one another as long as we recently were. It may have been next to never that we’ve been apart for nearly 2-full-consecutive weeks!

Our son and i went on a school-sponsored group trip to the UK, where some of his fav friends & fav teachers were on the trip with us too. We only just got back yesterday from being away 12-days. David did his own thing for the duration.

It was a great trip where we constantly on the go, where we went and saw so very much. When i say on the go CONSTANTLY, i mean we got in bed at midnight, out the door at 7a, and logged between 6-10 miles (20,000+ steps) daily.

i barely had time to even greet David with a text, let alone a phone call or a proper conversation. While i knew he was ok with it and understood, what would that mean for our D/s (only recently headed back onto the correct tracks!) relationship? Only time would tell!

Upon arriving home, i was so apprehensive but hopeful!

i was so pleasantly surprised to see he slid right into his Dominant role, and i into my sub role, without much issue or difficulty at all. After such a long lay off for the first MANY months earlier this year, i was praying this separation would be good and not bad. i prayed we would pick up where we left off, not revert back to where we had been.

When i got home, little things were said to me that let me know that i am his submissive wife and he is my Dominant husband. All quite good and pleasing to my ears.

One of the biggest examples, which shocked me really and was not so good, was he told me not to shave off the pubic hair that had grown in while on my vacation. i actually thought he was joking, since of course, i have been hairless for years now. In fact, (small squirrel trail here…), i used to wax it off. But several years ago, after having a discussion where i asked him, “would you rather have me waxed bald and super clean every few weeks for about a week, or, have it shaved off daily but possibly miss some, but mostly clean daily?” …he chose daily shaving so i have shaved daily ever since.

Now add to those thoughts that before i left, i said that i wasn’t planning to shave while on vacation and his response was, “That’s fine, so long as I never see it,” implying that as soon as I’m back home and in his presence it was shaved off.

So with my assumption that he was indeed joking when he said the words to leave the hair, with my first shower at home, all hair was shaved off clean. And i was wrong. You know where you get when you assume…. Yeah, well, it made a disobedient not-so-submissive wife of me!

He said, “Seriously? You already are aiming to be spanked and you haven’t even been home a full 24-hours yet?”

i obviously backpedaled to explain why i was sure he was joking and i just got a smirk and a “hmm” response. i did manage to escape punishment, which may or may not have been a good thing, but it was but a few short hours home and i was (pleasantly) reminded who is in charge too! And i had zero desire to start back home with discipline too!

[Another squirrel trail…. now though i am unclear what to do about the hair…. Do i let it grow back in? If i do that, i would be back to where he apparently wanted me to be, but is that now “too late!” Do i shave as always? That would be continuing to ignore the directive and continuing the assumptions that shaving is the right answer, which were clearly incorrect! Do i ask for clarification? But would that just be bugging and obnoxious of me, provoking annoyance on his part toward me, causing more trouble?! i am in a predicament now….. to which today i will need an answer before the shower comes! Not clear yet which way i will lean!]

Routine and pattern are so critically important for me. Really, i think for him too, but that’s not exactly my place to speculate i suppose. The knowledge of what it is i am to do, how to act, what to say (or not), etc comes so easy when i know. And with my natural tendency is to be submissive (and his natural one to Dominate too!), being in a D/s relationship with consistency is necessary to have harmony! But when we take lay offs, it is (usually) a challenge to get it back. i was SO happy that it seems this time will NOT be a challenge!

So you can imagine how pleasing it was to hear when Sir said today we are going to resume Maintenance Spankings. That’s such a weird thing to be pleased about…. Being spanked. You’d think it would be less pleasing and not more. But again, routine and familiarity is so soothingly comforting for me, i welcome it!

While being spanked – for discipline or maintenance- truly does sting my ass in a huge way for sure, overall it gets me in the right submissive mindset. i would say being a submissive is more about the mental mind aspect than it is about the physical ass-spanked aspect. Of course, the spanked ass works in concert to get my mental mind in the right place, so the spanking serves its purpose and reaches my ultimate goal…. To be the best submissive wife i can be!

i have spoken several times about maintenance, but it’s worth saying here and now that “practice makes perfect.” That’s true for David and his confidence in being in control as well as perfecting his technique, but also for me in my acceptance of it. To be naked is to be exposed. To be spanked is to be humbled. To accept it with grace is to be submissive!

But it hurts….. my ass burns afterward. Frequently it feels on the raw-side. It stings and is hit to the touch for a good long time. Suffice it to say i do not enjoy the spanking or the pain that results, but i accept it.

And practice makes perfect. And routine is good. i feel utterly relieved now that our D/s with DD (domestic discipline) relationship appears to be alive and well.

i am grateful we are able to come home after being apart such an extended time, and that all is the way it should be! ❤️

Hugs,

Marie

239 – My collar(s)

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i have a collar. In fact, i have three. Besides the Hidden in Plain Sight post, i’m not even sure i have ever even talked about it. In the past though, it has been the featured picture on my entire blog, so it is possible you’ve seen it.

My primary collar is one that i’d say is a mix of function and fashion. It is the one in the featured pic here. i can – and do – wear it daily or sometimes not at all. But it can also be functional too. It is strong and thick enough that David can pull on it to lead/direct me where he wants me to be or go. Of course, he rarely uses it for that, but he can and he has.

Sir has never said (or required) that i wear it at any particular times or days. i typically wear it when i need something tangible/physical, to remind me of my (consensual, by choice) submissiveness.

David loves it when i wear it, and he doesn’t usually miss it when i do. He usually makes some sort of nod to it. i think when he sees it, it becomes a tangible reminder for him as well as me, of the commitment to this D/s (Dominant/submissive) relationship with DD (Domestic Discipline) that we both love.

i have had this functional, yet stylish, collar for 2-3 years now. After we were living the lifestyle for awhile, i asked David to get me a collar to recognize the commitment. And then he surprised me with it.

i happen to think he didn’t really think much of it at the time actually though. He didn’t make a big deal about the delivery of it either. So we didn’t have some big ceremony, like what i have read others do. Some of what i have read seems like it’s almost a wedding ceremony of sorts, and while that’s cool, it’s not what we did. David gave it to me over dinner and that was that.

Over time though, he’s come to love it because he’s realized how much i love it. He sees the response it generates in me and by extension, then to him as well.

It means a lot to me. It is a tangible reminder for each of us. For me, it reminds me of the transfer of power that i willingly handed over to David, causing me to be pliable and willing to submit. And for David, while he doesn’t think of me (literally) as a dog, a dog does indeed wear a collar so that you can keep it. You put a collar on an animal that you don’t want lost. One that you want to claim. David has ultimately claimed me in that same way!

i want to be submissive all the time, but sometimes i am not as submissive as i want to be for so many various reasons. And when i feel my collar on my neck, it is a tangible reminder of what i want to be and how i want to act.

It means a lot to me. It brings me comfort when i need it. And i really need it (the collar and the comfort) especially when i want to be reminded of my submissiveness.

i have done a lot of research on collars as of late, somwhat out of curiosity really. …………

What do other subs collars look like? (Lots of variety!)

Are they all with a lock, or a “O” ring? (No, not all, but most seem to.)

Is there any official standard required? (Doesn’t seem to be any standard. Some collar pics i found just looked like regular jewelry and it made me wonder “what’s the point,” but it was their version and that’s understandable.)

How “nice” are they….. are they all just jewelry or function? (Both. Some are pure jewelry and look almost dainty/breakable, some look like chains and function and fashion, and some are just quite literally a Dog collar for function only).

Do people actually wear a DOG collar sometimes too? (YES. Dog collars are really used by Doms and worn by subs. It doesn’t seem that the sub wears these outside of sex and/or their house, but maybe they do that too.)

Do people wear them 24-7? (Some do, yes. Some are (fairly) permanently attached with a strong metal and lock/key, that the Dom has the only key. i don’t know how prevalent this is, compared to”occasional wear.”)

Do people have just ONE collar or many? (While i couldn’t tell for sure, it seems many people have more than one, especially if they actually have a dog collar for sex/home play. One would be purely for function then, whereas another may be for wear outside the house.)

SO WHAT DOES MINE LOOK LIKE, WHAT ARE MY RULES, WHAT DO WE DO?

Well, as previously mentioned, i don’t wear it all the time nor am I required to. i happen to think that being “made” to wear it (or being made to do anything really) is more about a slave dynamic than a submissive dynamic. i think that’s a lot of what the difference between sub and slave is…. Being able to have choices. Not just about a collar wearing, but anything at all. And i have choices, and do not consider myself a slave. But i digress…..

i do not wear a dog collar.

The collar in the picture is the primary collar i have and wear, which serves for both fashion and function as previously mentioned. i also have two choker collars. They are pure fashion. One has silver and one has gold on it, so that i can alternate between outfits as needed.

While i do not have a picture of me wearing mine, this picture is pretty similar to what i have …..

While i do not have any rules about when or where to wear it, when i do wear it, it helps me to feel more submissive as it is a visible and tangible reminder of who i most want to be, who i most want to please, and how i most should act.

While i don’t have a dog collar, what i said above is true… you put a collar (or leash) on something you want to keep and not allow to get lost.

I pray i am never lost. And if i do become lost, i am found and claimed once again by David.

^^^^ UPDATE: i wrote everything above this line months ago. But i never finished this post so of course, i also never published it. i haven’t a clue why… probably ran out of time, ideas of where or how to finish it, didn’t have focus that day…. Not sure. Either way, it sat in my “drafts” section until now.

The last sentence i wrote about never being lost…. That is essentially what’s happened in our D/s relationship in 2022 until relatively recently… we have been lost.

David wasn’t dominant, wasn’t enforcing rules, and didn’t care to be in the role-play acting mode that i now think i was basically trying thrust him into. That was the difference for us, in that i wasn’t role playing at being submissive but i kinda think he was at being Dominant. And after awhile, he grew tired of the constant pretending to be the “character i portray on stage in my daily life.”

But now…. As i have recently been starting to tell you…. He’s changing and so am i! He’s coming alive and into his own (best!) version of the dominant man i always knew was there and to whom i submit to.

And as he changes, so am i. i am learning to truly submit, not just when I want to. i am learning to NOT top-from-the-bottom or tell him how to do his job best. In the process, i am truly learning how to be the submissive wife he wants/needs and not the submissive wife i think he should have!

We are becoming the best versions of ourselves and i am embracing this evolving process. (The changes aren’t that many or different, and I will likely tell you more about this in a future post… but instead the changes are rather slight and yet, exactly what we need!)

Hugs,

Marie

238 – 1st spanking in 2022.

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It was bound to happen.

Me doing something that deserved discipline.

i screwed up.

And i really must say, i was relieved that this ended in discipline. NO, i didn’t WANT to be spanked, but i did deserve it. And thankfully, my Sir responded to the situation with the best solution possible.

He used the paddle. My ass was turned a very bright red tonight.

For the first time in more than 6-months, the paddle collided with my ass repeatedly. It was well overdue and frankly, more than once i had already deserved this but it wasn’t until today that i was disciplined for my actions.

And let me tell you…. It HURT!

W-H-A-T happened?

Yeah, so our son’s car needed new tires. We’ve talked about it for a few weeks already. It was decided that since the best place to get the tires was just 2-miles from my office, that today i would drive his car to work, get the new tires, and all would be good.

As i was packing up this morning to head out, i said goodbye and David said, “you are driving his car right?”

We had not spoken at all about this plan for about 2-days now and in that time, i had forgotten. It must have shown on my face as before i even responded verbally, David said, “you DO remember, right?”

i did not. He had to remind me by saying, “Son. Car. New tires. Today….”

Oh yeah. Ok. That.

“Yes, of course i am still driving his car and going to get new tires.”

An hour later, the new tires were on, i paid, and left.

i wasn’t but about 2-blocks away from the tire shop, headed to my office for the day, when my phone rang. It was David.

i answered and he said, “WHY did you use your credit card to pay for the tires?”

[He gets texts for any charge in excess of $200 on any of my cards…. He says it’s for security purposes, but i won’t lie, i think it’s also about keeping me on budget too. He while I don’t think i need him checking on me like this, it’s nothing i will ever get to be changed either. Ok, maybe another blog post topic here… back to this one though….]

At that very moment, i was confused. My exact thought was, “i wasn’t going to steal the tires. How else was i suppose to pay?”

Before i could respond aloud he said, “I told you to put it on their store credit card that we have so we would get 6-months no interest, no payments. There’s no reason to pay the money now if we don’t need to.”

Oh yeah. Ok. That. [Second time in 2-hours i have thought those words!]

This time though, i actually said the words aloud too. In addition, i also said, “i will call and see if it can be moved from my card to the store card.”

And what i heard back was, “Yes, you will! You need to see if you can fix this.”

i just said, “Yes Sir.”

With that, i heard a click. He hung up. i wasn’t surprised. i’d probably have done the same if things were reversed.

Not even 10-minutes later i get a text, “is it fixed?” i had barely had enough time to get back to my office and get the call made so i had not had enough time to get him [i think he assumed I would forget to call. Reasonable assumption given the way the morning was going!]

That’s when I had to say, “well… not exactly Sir.”

This is when i had to also tell him that the store had told me that David had to go to the store with the card or his ID directly because the card was officially in his name and even though we have a joint account, they can’t “just move a charge to another person’s card when the person isn’t here to accept the charge.” This is a pet peeve of mine. When it is a joint account in their system AND on the card, why exactly is it that i am not authorized to use it?! Whatever… back to this blog again….

And the response i got back from David was, “hmm”

Then some time later, David texted again, “are you saying I have to go fix this for you?”

“Unfortunately, Yes.”

“I see. Do I need the receipt/paperwork?”

“No.”

Another few minutes later, “I’m going now. This better not be a waste of my time!”

This is where i started to second-guess… what if the clerk i spoke to didn’t get the facts right, do i need to meet David over there now to explain my side, since i have the paperwork/ receipt, maybe i ought to go give it to David now…… Please Dear God let this all work out. Amen!

About 30-more minutes, “you are lucky. I got it fixed. But we will talk about this when you get home tonight.”

Thank you God!

“Thank you Sir. Understood.”

Not another thing was said until i was home, but not even immediately then either.

i was anxious about it as soon as i walked in the door and he could tell. i wasn’t sure if i should say something or not. i wasn’t sure if i were to say something, what exactly that would be either.

Nothing was said. At all. i began to wonder if he just forgot. Or maybe it was forgiven.

We ate dinner, started watching tv, and nothing. i began to be disappointed. I didn’t exactly want to be disciplined, but i knew if he did it, i fully deserved it. AND it would be of his own accord, as opposed to him role-playing the script i had set forth (as in how it was before.). This was a test for our entire D/s relationship actually! This was a pivotal form in the road, and I needed to be patient to see which path David would take.

As well, the opposite was true. If he did not mention the situation, act upon the discipline needed, and it was never mentioned again, i was going to have to accept that too.

Either way… i was sure i’d shed tears tonight …. i just wasn’t sure what the catalyst would be.

Then all of a sudden the one tv show he had turned on was over and he said, “ready to talk?”

“Yes Sir.”

“You agree a spanking is necessary, correct?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Then I will let the paddle speak for itself.”

“Yes Sir.”

So i Assumed The Position, for the first time in more than 6-months. And i waited. And i prayed. “Lord, please provide me with the ability to listen to David as he speaks. Please help me to accept this discipline with grace. Please help David to deliver the exact right number of spanks that will cause me remorse and regret, so i learn from this. Please help him to have confidence in his delivery, to know this is needed and good, and will bond us closer once again.”

And the door opened. Here we go…..

He picked up the paddle, that was resting in its place… on my butt. i immediately cringed and instinctively tensed all my muscles, expecting to immediately feel that first blow. Instead of feeling the paddle though, instead he spoke aloud.

“Are you ready for this?”

“i accept this, but i do not think i am ready for it.”

He asked why was i not ready and i said, “because it has been more than 6-months.”

He said, “Do you think it’s going to hurt?”

“i have NO doubt it will hurt.”

“Then let’s get to it.”

He knew i was consenting. He knew i knew it was deserved. He knew i knew he was my dominant Sir.

That was when i felt it. The paddle collided with my ass for the first time in 2022!

i flinched hard. i bit my bottom lip.

And the words, “oh Fuck that hurt!” formed on my lips. Thankfully i said it quiet enough he did not hear. He hates cuss words. And he especially would have hated me saying it with regard to this spanking. And even more especially with the first swat too! i was clearly NOT accepting this with grace and immediately knew i had to change my thoughts.

By the time i thought all that, another and another, and ANOTHER spank hit my uncovered bottom.

i heard him say, “So the next time I tell you to do something are you going to forget?”

Was i really this forgetful? Or am i selfish to where i just didn’t care enough to slow down enough to pay attention. Neither is a good answer.

Smack

SMACK!

S-M-A-C-K!!

“I asked you a question. Are you ignoring me? That is NOT a wise decision!”

i was NOT ignoring him, but rather trying to form words between the spanks. i find it hard to focus on the words as i am being spanked where my mind is racing with all sorts of things (as noted above), not to mention things like, “Do NOT move. Stay in position!”

i finally muttered, “i am not ignoring you Sir. i will remember next time.”

“Do you realize you would have cost us a lot of money if I couldn’t have fixed this?”

Smack

SMACK

“Yes Sir.”

That’s when he held the paddle against my ass for a second. Whenever he does that, i know he’s pausing the swats for a second and i was grateful for the slow down. This time though, it wasn’t a pause or a break, it was to give a punctuation mark to the next set of spanks. Without preamble, he pulled the paddle back and smacked me about 5-times in rather rapid succession.

To be clear, while the paddle had rained down on my pour naked ass quite frequently at this point, i was abundantly aware he was NOT using any real force. He was indeed “letting the paddle speak for itself.”

“And do you realize I asked you to do this because it was easy and convenient for both of us really? Me going up there to fix your problem was not ideal or convenient whatsoever!”

He pulled the paddle away and i flinched. i flinched without even getting hit yet. i just anticipated it and moved instinctively, as if on command.

He asked, “why are you flinching when the paddle isn’t even touching you?”

“Anticipation Sir.”

The tears were forming, but not yet flowing.

i was trying to cry. i wanted the tears to flow freely. Yes, it hurt me physically AND mentally to be spanked tonight but this was a GOOD hurt and a GOOD cry that was needed. i needed to feel the release of emotion.

As he then held the paddle against my ass, he asked me, “do you think you’ve learned? Will this happen again?”

i paused as I thought, “The tears haven’t flowed yet. i need him to keep going to get these tears and this release to come.” But then, is that me topping from the bottom again? Do i deserve to feel this cathartic emotional release? Do i trust him to know when enough is enough?

“Yes Sir, i have learned. No Sir, this will not happen again. i will pay more attention to you.”

“G-O-O-D!” he said, with the layering on of one more good, hard, and final SMACK of the paddle.

That’s when he sat me up and said, “we are done. You are forgiven. Now go swim in our pool! Get the sting out!”

“Thank you Sir. i love you!”

After confirming his love too, he grabbed my hand and we went outside to our backyard. He was fully dressed and i had nothing on at all. He motioned me toward the pool and said, “now go on in!” And so i did.

He sat on the chair and watched me swim naked. He took my picture at some point too. i have yet to see that picture. That’s ok.

We were both pleased.

i expected the tears were going to flow tonight. They never did, but nearly did. i am just grateful it was a good tearing-up and not a bad one! i am glad i got the very red, expected-to-be-sore-tomorrow ass that i deserved.

i am now (incredibly) hopeful that our D/s relationship is seemingly back on track… or maybe not on the same track, but a better one… time will tell. For the first time in 6-months, i am hopeful again too!

Cheers!

(i pray the first 2023 spanking post isn’t 6-months into the year! While we have been doing this now since late 2018, i didn’t blog a ton at first and didn’t actually start posting a “first of the year spank” post until 2020….. but if you want to read about my other firsts for that yesr, for at least for the few most recent years, here ya go: …..2021 – 1st spanking – Jan 10 and 1st spanking – 2020 – Jan 9 )

Hugs,

Marie