292 – i was bad, and now we are good

Today is Friday. i haven’t had a maintenance spanking in a longgggg time. It was middle of September the last time i was spanked for maintenance purposes.

While it’s been awhile since i wrote about the Types of Spankings, when i re-read it tonight, i would say it’s all still true.

Maintenance Spankings work. They hurt. They are intended to. They are preemptive in curbing bad attitudes/activities before they get so bad it has to be punishment. They are also reminders of what could be worse if i keep on doing bad things. (i also think maintenance does David good too. He wields his hand and exerts his authority. He’s reminded how to be Dominate every time too.)

Today’s maintenance was needed. Much needed. Probably a good two weeks or more overdue!

i was reluctant to tell David (or even suggest) that he needed to spank me. Because i try hard to NOT tell him how or when to do his job. i know i have tendencies to Top From The Bottom. i have tried VERY hard to stop.

But it puts me in a quandary of not being able to get what i need without asking too. Of course, the key word in that last sentence is ASKING, as compared to TELLING. If i ASK, i shall receive. But it’s wrong to TELL or demand or command. Admittedly, i have not mastered the skill of “just” asking…. Yet. But i am working on it too!

When i don’t get spanked, i get antsy, cranky, and generally stressed out. i know that sounds dumb. But it’s so true. My anxiety goes way up as i am left to my own devices. When i am spanked, i am brought down a notch, reminded to be submissive, and the endorphins are released bringing about stress-relief.

My biggest wish is that David would see how good it is for me and be CONSISTENT to do it when it’s needed. Or on a routine schedule. Or both.

Well… usually… when he is consistent…. It’s done on Friday’s. We decided that ages ago. It sets the right tone for the weekend and gets things started “right.” But as mentioned, we haven’t done it in a long time. But today, we did.

As i was in the shower, i was debating, “do i ask to be spanked or not?!” And i thought, “i am just going to tell him how much i need it.” And then i thought, “that’s the wrong way to do this. Go ask him to do it.” And then i continued my mental battle by saying, “but if he says NO, it’s going to be a full-on meltdown for me.”

So, i had no clear path forward but got out of the shower anyway. Right about that moment, David came into the bathroom and greeted me. He leaned in and gave me a kiss too. Then he straightened up and said, “I need to do maintenance. Go Assume The Position.”

Ok. That settled that!

So i didn’t say a word and just did as told.

He used the riding crop. It started out smooth and tame and even easy. Then it became more intense with swift strikes to my ass.

As i started to feel the heat rise in my butt, i was squirming around a lot. David is always standing as i am on the bed, so he was in a prime position to use a single hand to press down on my lower back causing me to be pinned between the bed and him. i was no longer able to move.

He struck my bottom over and over.

i could tell it was doing it’s job and calming my thoughts. i was focused on nothing but holding still, enduring what i knew i craved and ultimately needed, and taking it with grace and submissive acceptance.

Eventually i was to my breaking point and was begging him to stop. Begging never works. i do have safe words. When i call “yellow” it is to signal to David that i need him to give me a break, or to slow down, or otherwise consider stopping. Ironically, i can’t seem to find the right words to ask to be spanked, but a single word is all i have to utter to give David a proper and kind request to slow down. But he still has all authority to continue or to stop, until i say the word “red.” So he retains control the whole time. Wish i had a single word to start in the same way i have a word to stop!

When i couldn’t take anymore, i uttered “yellow Sir!” And he decided to stop entirely. i suspect if this was a full-on punishment, he’d not have stopped at all. But i was grateful that today he did stop.

i was still in position when he spoke a question that we both knew was rhetorical. He asked, “are you wet?!” And his fingers found their mark. My body always betrays me by releasing my juices every time i am spanked. i don’t feel turned on or sexually aroused by the spanking, yet, my puss always tells another story. He knew he’d find a dripping wet pussy as he touched it.

He left his one hand on the small of my back as his other hand’s fingers primed my holes. i felt a finger enter my front and another invade my back hole simultaneously. And then he began to hold me in place as his fingers started to stroke my sex. It took just a minute or so before i begged my Sir if i could orgasm, and after he said yes, i let all my juices flow freely.

After i recovered and came to my senses fully, i thanked my Sir properly.

He could tell my mind was then “thinking” and he asked me to share my thoughts.

i asked if we were good now. He said, “I think we are.”

When i asked him why he has not spanked me for the previous weeks, where i was “all but daring” him to do so, he said, “because I wanted to see what you’d do.”

i said, “act poorly.”

He said, “I know. That’s why we had a maintenance where you called yellow. I was determined to go a long time today. And if this doesn’t work, we will repeat until you call red.”

i think we are good.

i knew we would be. i just wanted it to be awhile ago already.

(i’ll write about the new belt and what i think of it very soon.. as i am sitting locked in place now.)

Hope your Friday was as good as mine! 😉

Hugs,

Marie