274 – Locktober, Sir’s way.

On Sunday, after we arrived back home from visiting our son, David spared me the spanking. i assumed my fate was sealed, but i was wrong. Thank heaven!

MOST of the time, i crave consistency. i need to know that what he says, he means AND what he means, he says. But this was one time that i really had NO desire to be punished. i mean, i would’ve accepted it, but i didn’t think a punishment was exactly warranted. i was trying to make progress with a bunch of noncommittal people, and i responded with annoyance to David’s questions. (Okay, so when i summarize the whole event like this, it does feel like i needed to be punished. Hmm.).

Well, i wasn’t punished. And i was very grateful.

Instead, we had every desire to relax and enjoy the evening. That’s what we did too. We watched tv for awhile, then went to our bed where David played with me and gave me 2-orgasms. Then he said i could play with myself as much as i wanted. i was shocked. i can’t remember a time where he allowed that!

But after a long weekend AND 2-orgasms already, i was relaxed, comfortable, and getting tired. Of course, i did orgasm one more time though too! (Wink wink!)

There was a time where masturbating right beside David while he read his book would’ve been weird for me. Now, i love it. i have learned to have an open mind, body, and soul for him. What’s mine is his, including the right to see me pleasure myself. And make no mistake, even though he was reading his book, he was also watching me! And i know he enjoyed watching and i enjoyed knowing he was watching too.

It wasn’t long afterward and we fell asleep. i sleep naked. David does not. While i am available to him at all times, he’s not always available to me. That’s ok by me too. In fact, in a very tangible way, it establishes that he is entitled to do as he pleases and i am entitled to also do (only) as he pleases too. Not only do i accept that, but it turns me on. i like submitting and being his in every way.

Then came the morning. i showered and started to dress when the directive came to lock it up.

David was going to play golf and because i had opted to work from home, he didn’t want me home alone to sit and play with myself anymore. It was “time to start Locktober anyway.”

So the chastity belt went on, the lock went shut, and the key went away.

That is how my Monday started. That evening, i (jokingly) asked David if he wanted to produce the key and he said, “uh, no.” with a “that was a dumb question” kinda tone.

Then he added, “you don’t need out yet. You don’t need to orgasm and it’s not the end of October.”

i won’t lie, i like wearing the belt when it’s MY idea and i am my own key holder. As in, i can get out anytime i want. Not too big a fan when i have zero control. But i am learning to accept it with mixed emotions. i WANT to accept it as a submissive wife, but the stubborn independent woman i can be does not like this one bit.

It’s not that i needed out. It was that i had the choice taken away. And while this is exactly how it should be, i didn’t like it. Wisely though, i said nothing out loud.

He reached his hand down between my legs and felt the belt. Sir said, “I could cut myself on those sharp groves. No orgasm for you! I best move my hand away before I hurt myself.” And he started to laugh.

The belt has holes where urine can pass but it is a jagged edge there, on purpose, to avoid any attempts to do anything more. Even though if you wanted to try something, the holes aren’t big enough anyway. Still. Getting a finger caught on the jagged edge would be painful for sure.

i was let out on Tuesday morning to go walking and shower. As soon as that was done, i asked Sir, “should i assume the belt goes back on unless told otherwise?”

i fully expected to hear another response like this was a dumb question and the words, “yes, of course it goes back on,” but to my surprise he said, “No, leave it off.”

i didn’t understand and i wasn’t sure how i felt about it. It felt like a privilege to be out, but also somehow “against the rules” (of Locktober.). And yes, of course i realize how contradictory i am being. First i didn’t want in, and not i don’t want out. i guess most of my issue is about the lack of control…. Physically AND mentally. i have no ability to control the lock on the belt anymore than i can control my anticipation about it also. i can’t even plan for in belt or out of belt.

That’s when i realized David makes his own rules and those are the ones that i follow and that’s the rules that matter! i need to adjust my thinking to just accept his authority and decisions as they come and be prepared for whatever decision he makes at that time, instead of trying to control anything at all, including my mindset.

Not much else was said the rest of Tuesday about the belt, Locktober, or orgasms. Tuesday was uneventful and almost disappointing.

Until this morning when David told me he is going out of town from Thursday (tomorrow) to Sunday, and he fully intends to lock me up. Oh wow. i have not been locked for 4-consecutive days and nights without a break at all.

Now you’d think that this wouldn’t be a big deal. i only last week tried to talk David into the whole month of October, so how is 4-days a big deal?! (Not to mention the fact he is telling me 24-hours in advance, so i have plenty of time to adjust my mindset!). Well….. it shouldn’t be.

But it is.

It is because i had “negotiated” that i could be out for showers and walks and he had said he liked to see me orgasm, so i wouldn’t (probably) be locked in for extended periods. But now, i will be.

While i was processing this, i went to work. i decided to text David, “so do you think i can go the duration without begging to be out of the belt?”

“Nope!”

“Will you give me the key then?”

“Maybe. Depends on what you say is the reason for needing it.”

i continued to ask questions. “What if it’s just because i am cranky and want out, so i want the key?”

“Really?”

“Okay, so i should assume that would be a no?”

“Correct.”

And i continued further…. “What if i get so cranky that i just start to bug the crap out of you to give me the key?”

“Then you’ll regret pissing me off like that.”

Okay, so i should have stopped but i didn’t. “What if i just don’t fully lock the lock? You never check. You just believe me that i did it.”

“Sounds like you are testing me. If I have to lock the lock myself before I leave, I will. But do I have reason to believe you’ll lie to me?!”

“No Sir. i haven’t lied. But i could…. OR …. Instead of being deceitful, i could just refuse to be in the belt and locked up altogether.”

“You could. But you won’t.”

“What makes you so sure i won’t refuse??”

“Because the alternatives to NOT being locked up while I’m gone are probably worse than being locked up.”

“You wouldn’t be that mean to me, Sir. Would you??”

“Wanna try me?”

“Hmm. No Sir. Probably not a wise move on my part.”

“First smart thing you’ve said in most of this conversation. Either way, tomorrow morning, you have a choice to make now… get locked in by me where I’ll check the lock myself, or face the alternative consequences.”

Locktober may not be a constant and consecutive 31-days, but one thing is for sure, i have to learn to cope without having the key or control better! And be prepared for 4-consecutive days about to commence in chastity.

Off to enjoy my last free night for awhile.

Hugs,

Marie