12 – Old Marie fights with New Marie

i have a sister (“Sis”) and her and i are quite close.  In fact, over the 17-years of my marriage to David, he has told me many times over the years that he thinks he is “as married to Sis” as he is to me.  i used to think that was crazy talk and (PRE-DD), i would tell him, “It is what it is.  This is who I am.  You knew that when you married me.  Take it or leave it, but this is non-negotiable and not going to change!”.

And i’d say for the most part, he has taken it as it being ‘how it is’.  We have gone on many a vacations with my sister and/or her kids as well.  They get along alright.  Neither of them think the other is all-that-and-a-bag-of-chips, but they get along well enough that fights don’t break out (too much) either.

But what exactly is the conversation starter to tell your sister, “Hey, I’m now submissive to my husband – yeah, the same one you’ve known for almost 20 years – and no matter what, when, or how he says something, i’ll stop, drop and get spanked at his whim!”?!?

And while my Sis and i talk quite a bit, and we share a lot of TMI with one another too, i had told her (over lunch with just her and me), “Hey, BTW, David and i decided to try a DD relationship”  And she said, “Huh.  Okay.”

And that was that.

i didn’t elaborate. She has asked me since, “So, have you been spanked yet?”  and when i said yes, she said, “Huh.  Did it hurt?”  and when i said, yes, she said, “Huh, what did you do?” and when i told her she said, “Are you happy?”.  That’s when i laughed and said, “i’m not happy i had to be punished, but yes, i am happy”.  And she said, “then that’s all that matters”.

And that was that.. again.

But TODAY – over lunch – was the first time that the 4 of us (David, Son, Sis, and me) were together in the POST-DD environment.

And i didn’t exactly act totally submissive.

Set-up/ Summary so far:  here’s what you need to know:

• Son knows nothing about anything.  He knows that i defer to Dad on many a topics and decisions, but he doesn’t exactly really know much beyond that.
• Sis knows about the DD relationship, doesn’t really care one way or the other, but does want it to be something that “makes me happy”.  And it does, so she’s happy about that.
• David has never insisted that i use the word “Sir”, but he does like to hear it, so i use it regularly but not ‘always’
• David knows all that i just wrote above, even before i wrote this.

And today, the 4 of us went to a lunch at a restaurant.  Everything was going “okay” until Son started saying he wasn’t feeling well, so we decided to get him to a walk-in clinic and just make sure all is well.

David made an appointment for later today and then said (out loud) to me (where the other 2 could hear):  “Are you taking him to the clinic or am I?”

W*E*L*L – for a split second i thought about the EXACT words that he used.  It was:

• Phrased as a question
• Seemed to indicate it was a choice
• Didn’t sound like a directive or an order

And i contemplated how i should respond.

Old Marie response:    “Well, it sounds like one of us should.  Would you like it to be me?”

New Marie response:  “i will take him Sir.”  (OR) “If you’d like for me to take him, i can Sir”.

And what did i say?

Yep, you guessed it – OLD MARIE – came out.

i mean seriously, it WAS a question, it did seem like a choice, and it did not seem like a directive/ order.  Can’t i make a statement without it being ‘wrong answer’??  (i probably could, but it was the attitude that went with the words that i think ultimately was the problem).

Ut oh…. WRONG answer…..

And Sir looked at me with a look of shock on his face, as if to say, “Did you REALLY just say that to me?”  

Before he even spoke, i knew i hadn’t acted properly.

And here’s another moment where OLD MARIE is fighting with NEW MARIE.

At this point, OLD MARIE response would be to:  Smile with my very best “i love you honey” smile, with bat my eyes, and seem to indicate i’m asking forgiveness without saying the words.

And NEW MARIE response would be to say:  I’m sorry Sir.  That was really not called for.  (And go to New Marie response above – of “i will take him”)

And what did i do?

Yep, you guessed it – OLD MARIE – came out – AGAIN!

i batted my eyes and smiled.

What actually came out of David’s mouth was a stern, “Yes, I’d like you to take him.”

And here’s another moment where OLD MARIE decided to give up the fight with NEW MARIE.

New Marie responded:  “Yes Sir”

(YEAH, i got one out of three right!)

And the rest of the lunch was more-or-less uneventful with nothing more being said about that throughout lunch.

i’m not sure if my Sis noticed the slip and the “Old Marie” ways or not.  If she did, she didn’t comment.

THEN WE WENT HOME:

THE VERY MINUTE we got home from lunch, he walked up to me and said, “go to the bedroom”.

i wondered, “what have i done?” but i still complied.  Of course, i’d forgotten (or maybe just didn’t really think much of “old Marie” comments)

He was a step ahead of me, and when we went in, he pulled the paddle out and said, “You aren’t very submissive around your sister! And you didn’t say ‘SIR’ even one time!  Assume the position.”

That’s when he proceeded to remind me of my statements.  And while he doesn’t require “Sir”, we have both gotten used to saying/ hearing it regularly.  i guess not saying it at all was noticed by him, even though i did not notice.

So i dropped all my clothes and bent over the bed with my feet on the floor, hands on the bed, head down, and prepared for a spanking.

And it came.

i don’t quite know how long it lasted but in between each spank, he asked me if i was going to be the “new Marie or the old Marie in front of (my) sister?!”  When i told him “the new submissive, good girl, Marie”, he was pleased.

But he told me, “You can’t pick and chose when to be submissive and when you won’t.  You don’t get it to do it when it makes sense for you and that’s that.”

But he spanked me — hard — and now my butt is red and feeling quite hot and sore.

He said, “if we have to have reminder spankings of how to act or i have to tell you that you can’t see her, i will”.

“NO SIR that will not be necessary.”…. i pray it won’t.

But this was a hard lesson and a hard spanking to take… mentally AND physically!

Why was this relevant?

i didn’t really realize it until i was typing out this blog post, but this was “the first time” i was with my sister, in Sir’s presence also.  i guess i acted a little less-submissive in this company.  i guess i reverted back to the “old Marie”.  Why?  i dunno.  It wasn’t like i intentionally said to myself, “Hey, act like the old you and not the new DD you”.

Some habits are hard to break…. but i intend to keep trying.  i think David wonders “when” will the “New Marie” completely replace the “Old Marie”.  As in, when will we go back to the “old lifestyle” and abandon this new DD submissive style.

i think he wonders when will Old Marie push out her bossy-self onto the New Marie and this will all just be a “time in our lives when…”  And a “it was fun while it lasted” kind of thing?

In fact, immediately after he spanked me, i (self consciously and definitely humbly) said, “Thank you Sir.  For your consistency and observations regarding my behavior and your response.”

He laughed.  When i asked him, “why are you laughing Sir?”

He said, “I’m just waiting for you to regret this DD lifestyle choice and for you to change your mind. (And to let Old Marie take over altogether)”

I asked him, “Do you want me to change my mind?  Do you want to stop doing this?”

And he promptly responded with, “No!  I like this new lifestyle.  But I keep wondering if you do … still.”

And when i reassured him that “YES, i DO like this and i DO want to continue (that i want Old Marie to never resurface and New Marie to always be the new Me!) i think he believes me, but will wonder for awhile yet if “today is the day” that i go back to the Old Marie and abandon the New Marie altogether.

i just have to reassure him that NEW MARIE is here to stay.  This DD lifestyle is obviously not for everyone, but for ME, it really is.  While i’m sure we will fight ‘sometime someday’ again, for now, we don’t (ever) fight.  We used to bicker back and forth, to the point that we’d get annoyed with one another, but now we don’t.  And our son has asked us if we were “getting a divorce” in teh past for hearing us go at each other, but no more.

OLD MARIE is GONE.

NEW MARIE is here to STAY… red ass and all.  And i wouldn’t want it any other way!

Hugs and Kisses ~