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181 – DD spankings are (more) effective.

We got into a H-U-G-E fight yesterday afternoon. On Easter. Completely ruined the afternoon of an otherwise great Sunday. And the topic or reason for the fight…. was stupid. V-E-R-Y stupid!

i will tell you just how stupid……

Background first. We have a running phrase in my house that goes like this….. “when King Midas touches things, it turns to gold. When Marie touches things (with technology involved), it breaks.”

My computer has given me the “black screen of death” (that’s what i call it anyway) more times than i know. i have horned more computers (that break for NO reason) than anyone i know! My phone just randomly decides to do strange things too, like one day (recently) we upgraded our service provider plan. “All we have to do” is reboot the phone and it will take effect. Except when i rebooted my phone, the voice mail suddenly wouldn’t work… at all. Then i called the 800-help desk number and got it working. Until i hung up the phone and then my phone wouldn’t dial out even for a basic call! And the microwave broke when i was using it. The buttons just stopped working 2-months ago as i was pushing them. This is the same microwave that i blogged about last summer! It wasn’t even one-year-old! And….. and…. and i could go on, but you get the idea.

Well…. this past week my car had to go to the shop where they (apparently) had to disconnect the dashboard and after getting it back, all the (technology-related) settings were not set anymore, including my phone connecting to Bluetooth.

So David decided to reset all this for me yesterday afternoon. And when he told me this, he had my keys in hand and said, “let’s do this now.” And the fact he was going to do it “now” should’ve put my mind at ease (given my background about tech!), but instead… it sent my anxiety through the roof and to the next level.

He wanted me to go to the car and do it with him… THAT moment. Well, i wasn’t doing anything particular then, but i wasn’t mentally prepared to take on that tech battle either. (When i set the tech settings the first time, i had to read the manual! —— who reads a car manual with all 500-pages of it anyway?? 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️. i had to… cuz i couldn’t figure out how to make the car not beep when… [fill in the blank]….. without reading it.)

i tried not to say anything. But then he said, “what? Are you afraid I’ll mess it up?”

i responded in truth…. “Yes.”

(When in reality, while that was how i was feeling overall… but it was more that “i was afraid WE would mess it up! And it gives me anxiety to do this…and i’m not mentally prepared for this… and and….”

And in that single word….. he and i proceeded to get into the biggest fight we’ve had in a long time. It escalated with us yelling things at each other that neither of us really meant and got to the point where he yelled, “I’m done! You are certifiably crazy!” And he got out a suitcase and started packing it to leave the house and go who-knows-where.

And in that moment, all i could really think was, “HOW did we get HERE? And why doesn’t he just say, ‘Assume the Position’ and spank me?”

And why didn’t he?

i think he was just THAT mad that he couldn’t. He would’ve ended up truly beating me of he had picked up the paddle. And our DD relationship….. to many people’s disbelief and have tried to argue with me on this blog and/or in emails to me… is NOT about beatings or abuse.

i probably should’ve let him leave…. and calm down… which he would’ve done. And he would’ve come back. But i wasn’t certain in that moment. i was doubting. And MORE anxiety gripped me.

Instead, i first told him how stupid it was that he was leaving. And i told him i suspected if he left, he wouldn’t come back or that we would never be the same. And when that didn’t exactly work, i eventually just (literally) clung to him …. and started crying and basically not allowing him to leave without dragging me with him.

(Yeah, i told you at the start… it was a DUMB fight. That escalated wayyyyyy beyond anything rational!)

But we did calm down. (He kinda didn’t have a choice when i was standing there arms around him, head dug into his chest, and crying….)

We are (still) living in the same house, slept in the same bed under the same roof, and all is “right” in my world again……

Mostly.

i haven’t gotten a spanking.

Yet.

But it’s probably needed.

And justified.

We shall see.

So….. Doms…… next time something seems “off” with your sub….. don’t go getting so angry that you threaten to leave your own home with suitcases in hand. Instead, tell her to Assume the Position, and spank her ass. Spank her soundly and hard enough to get the anxiety to subside…. and make her still go do the thing that needs to be done. Calmly. (Now to just say that to David… 😉)

Oh… and i’ll stop with the “keep calm” pics now… but seriously… it’s pretty appropriate for today’s blog post.. right??

Hugs,

Marie

180 – 6th time a charm

i know you think i haven’t been blogging lately. But i actually have started (and not finished) 5 other blog posts… all started with #180.

i mentioned before, i am struggling with inspiration lately. i start stuff and haven’t felt like finishing it because it just doesn’t feel like “enough” or “worthy”. 😕

So i will play a (small) game with you …..

i will give you the basics of each one and you can tell me which one I should really dig deep on and actually finish. (Or if you don’t like any.. you can tell me what you’d like to suggest it write on…..)

Options:

A: The Cross… tattoo. Inspiration from a tattoo and how even the cross itself is a symbol of Christianity, but also of D/s relationships. One strong and one not….

B: Stand in Dom. Sometimes David is as stressed as ever. And sometimes it leaves me feeling… basically neglected. So maybe a stand in Dom would be a possibility.

C: Submissive wife, and a Sex Slave. Submitting doesn’t have to be on just one level for all facets of my life. i yearn to be a good submissive wife, but i want to take it deeper when it comes to sex.

D: What does a sex slave entail anyway? i think i know. And what i don’t know, i can imagine. Or i can research and see what others think.

E: fiction. That unfinished work of the 50th birthday celebration…..

See. i have a lot of stuff started. i have nothing finished.

Which of the above topics might intrigue YOU the most? Give me some comments.. give me some inspiration or direction. Pleaseeeeee…….

Hugs,

Marie

179 – Installing a Pool

David and i recently officially decided to pull the trigger and install a pool in our backyard.

Because of COVID, it is incredibly hard to get this done… and more expensive than we even imagined. We thought long and hard about it. With COVID, the demand is high, causing the supply to be low. Every pool builder reports having more requests for private (socially distanced!) pools than they’ve had in their entire company history. One builder flat out told us, “we have a wait list of 50-pools already, and with our building pace and crew, that means it would be 6-9 months before we start your pool, and as much as a year before you are actually swimming.”

A whole year wait! 😳

And because of that, they also have raised the price too. Because they can. I know I would if I were them. I mean, why not?!?

But after thinking, talking, reconsidering the budget, getting bids, and drawings… we have pulled the trigger. We have found (what we think is) a great builder, who says we will be “swimming by mid-summer.”

i suspect our dogs won’t like it one bit. But i know i will!

i have already had lots of sexual thoughts about swimming naked…..

My boobs will flop up and down as i hip up and down moving all around. My pussy will love the hot tub jets pressing the lips to part as the hot water jets deep inside.

Maybe i can convince some unsuspecting couple to come ravish me on the side of the pool or in the pool itself with the sun setting on the side of the house.

Oh and let’s not forget the tanning … nude… in my backyard… NO tanning bed for me, and yet, NO tan lines either!

Any takers? Anyone want to come help me christen the pool and break it in right?

i am (almost) ready for the summer. Are you?

Hugs,

Marie

178 – Fiction: Sweet Submissive Good Girl

i haven’t had a lot of inspiration to post much lately in my “real life,” but i never lack inspiration from my “fiction life”. So that’s what this is… A complete fiction, from my head, wishing to make it real, but always hoping one day i may have the opportunity to be real. 😉

I asked to take a bath and was told i could. I have to ask to bathe on the tub, because it’s really not about bathing, so much as relaxing. And as I lay in the water and stare at my naked body, I find I am desirous and want to touch it. But of course, personal pleasure is only allowed with permission. And yet, the desire to touch is typically more than I can abstain from in that relaxed stated so after getting caught touching myself without permission once, it was made clear to me that I have to always ask permission to soak or bathe in the tub.

But tonight was different. I had no real sexual desires and only just needed to unwind from a long week at work and to relax in the warm water. The desire to just let my muscles go slack and just “be” was what I sought. And that’s what I did, after Sir granted me permission to be in the tub.

After 30 or so minutes in the tub, I felt relaxed and ready to get out. After drying myself, I found and put on my most comfortable pair of PJ’s. I was ready to just find the bed to simply drift off to sleep in the relaxed state of mind I had found from being in the tub.

After climbing into bed and laying down, My Sir came into our room and said, “what are you doing?”

I said, “Thank you Sir for letting me relax in the tub. And now I just want to close my eyes and sleep until morning.”

He said, “Oh my sweet baby girl. I’m happy you found your bliss for the evening. But I have not yet found mine. I can’t let you drift off to sleep without me also being relaxed and able to do the same.”

I cringed. I know my place. I knew what he was talking about. As his submissive wife, I’m never allowed to deny him the sexual pleasure that he seeks, when he seeks it. But let’s be honest, even if it wasn’t a rule, I wouldn’t want to deny him the pleasures he wants because it brings me pleasure too. Both physical pleasure and mental pleasure. He makes my body writhe in pure pleasure, while my mind does Olympic gymnastics knowing I am pleasing him so.

But he saw my face. He saw me cringe. I didn’t mean to show my emotion on my face, but I did. He knows me so well, it wasn’t something I could even deny.

He said, “what’s this hesitation all about? Do we need to have some discipline first?”

“No Sir,” was all I said, while my eyes were averted from his.

He said, “look me in the eye and say it again.”

But I couldn’t. I kept my head down and said, “I can’t Sir. I can’t look you in the eye and deny that discipline may be needed because I suspect you may be right. I was being selfish and was hoping we could just skip sex tonight.”

He came close to me, while I was still lying flat on my back on our bed, he cupped my chin with his hand and said, “I appreciate your honestly my sweet girl. But you know I need you to be ready to please me. This is part of our agreement, that you’ll never deny my sexual wishes. You know how attracted I am to your mind and body that I am. So be my good girl now and open your mouth and close your eyes.”

I did as instructed. I wanted so much to not be punished, nor to have sex, but I knew this was indeed part of our dynamic that I had agreed to so many years ago. And most of the time, it works. Sometimes, I’m just not in the mood. And while tonight was one of those times that I wasn’t in the mood, I also knew I’d do as I was told too.

I heard his pants hit the floor and I felt him take my hands and out them straight down by my sides. I was basically a flat board on our bed, facing upward, at that moment.

He climbed on the bed and straddled my chest, pinning me to the bed with my arms by my sides. He was high on my chest and I knew what I’d feel next. The tip of his cock enter my mouth.

He said, “You need to be my good girl that I know you can be. If you give me this sexual pleasure I seek, I will forgo the full punishment that you deserve. Now suck my cock until I’m hard baby girl. And don’t stop until until I tell you.”

No verbal response was needed, or even going to be audible since that’s when his cock pushed fully into my mouth. I started to suck his cock and I felt it growing hard inside my mouth as I did.

I heard him moan in pleasure. He started pressing in further and I felt my gag reflex start to kick in. That’s when he pulled back and let me breathe.

I opened my eyes and saw him smiling huge and he said, “that was good, but let’s see how far I can go.” And with that, he started fucking my mouth with his cock. With every stroke he pressed deeper and deeper. It took everything I had to not gag, which would have caused me to accidentally clamp down on this precious cock that I adored!

That’s when tears came to my eyes and he saw them. He said, “That’s it baby girl. Let those tears flow. You are doing so well to worship my cock tonight. And you are making me so happy.”

He continued, “But now that I’m good and hard, I need to feel more of you too. I’m going to fuck your ass. Because you made it clear to me you weren’t wanting anything sexual tonight, and you were even trying to deny me what’s mine too, I’m going to ignore your pussy tonight. No pussy for you! Do you understand me?”

I cringed again. Because this time it was for the opposite effect. Now I was turned on and I did want to be penetrated and pleasured too. But there was no point in arguing with him. The window of opportunity had passed for me to get mine, and now it was time for him to get his.

I looked him in the eye, after he pulled his cock from my mouth and quite humbly said, “I understand Sir. Thank you Sir for being my dominant husband. Please use me how you see fit.”

He smiled and said, “Now THAT is you being the good girl that I’ve come to love!”

And with that, he lifted himself off of me and flipped me onto my stomach. In one swift movement, he pulled my PJ’s off and I felt his hand slam down onto my bare ass in one hard smack.

I flinched and squealed with an audible, “Ouch!”

He laughed and said, “That’s for thinking you wouldn’t end up in this position and trying to avoid my touch tonight. But I said I wouldn’t punish you … too much… and I meant it. So that’s all you’ll get from me tonight. I hope you are grateful.”

Before I even could respond, he kept speaking, “Now lift your ass in the air. I’m going to fuck you like the good doggie I know you are. In your ass. I expect it may well hurt a bit as I don’t have any intentions of being kind tonight. Just remember I’ll never hurt you more than what we both know you can handle and the pain will be temporary. It will please me to know you are submitting to me fully and intentionally.”

I said, “Yes Sir. But could you please use the lube? It’s been awhile since you’ve entered me back there.”

He said, “No! I’m aware it’s been awhile. That’s why I already said it may hurt. But you took your pleasure in the tub, and now I will take mine here in your ass. If you can orgasm without your pussy being touched and before I’m done, then that’s your reward. Otherwise, this may serve you well to be reminded to present your body to me at all times. And maybe next time you won’t be so eager to go to sleep before submitting to me in the ways that you know are your wifely duties and that I am accustomed to too.”

With that, I responded with, “Yes Sir.” And raised myself up onto my knees.

He said, “Spread your legs and make room for me.”

And I did. He was on the bed between my legs now.

That’s when he said, “Now reach back here and make it easier for me to find the only hole I find worthy of fucking tonight. Hold your ass cheeks open for me.”

That’s when I had to put my face on the bed and lean on my shoulders in order to use my hands on my ass. There I was, ass in the air, exposed, hands holding it open even further, face planted in the bedsheets causing me to be effectively blinded and waiting for him to take advantage of my most private hole.

In my opinion, this is the most exposed and submissive position he ever asks me to assume. I hate it and he knows it. He does it when he wants to remind me to submit fully and completely to him. And when he knows he wants, or even needs, to show me he is in control and dominant enough to lead both of us. We both know I do it voluntarily and he respects me even more.

I heard him say, “That’s my good girl. Now you make me happy.” His way of recognizing and giving praise to my humility that he was aiming to get from me tonight.

That’s when I felt the tip of his cock touch my opening. He said, “I want you to do some of the work tonight. Push back onto my cock and let it slide into your ass. I’ll even be nice and let you do it at your pace, at least to get us started anyway!”

This was his way of also testing my ultimate submission to him. He wasn’t going to allow me to just sit back to let him use me. He was going to make me participate. He was making me choose to submit and follow his lead.

I wouldn’t let him down either. No way was I actively or willingly going to disobey!

I started pressing back onto his cock as it was pressed against my opening. I felt my insides started to scream in protest. The intrusion was not wanted. I forced my muscles to relax and accept him in. I pulled out just a bit and pushed in further. I was going so slow as to not cause unnecessary pain and allow my ass to adjust. And yet, it already hurt too!

That’s when he said, “well done my love” which actually surprised me because he wasn’t all the way in yet. Not even close.

But it was only a hot second before I knew why he said that. He immediately slammed his hard cock against my ass and I felt his hips touching mine. He was that deep! In one full thrust, his cock was seated firmly inside my ass as far and tight as could be.

The immediacy of it took my breath away and caused me to suck in a deep breath, let go of my ass cheeks, and I fell to the bed onto my stomach.

He anticipated this move though and fell right on top of me too. Nothing changed. He was deep inside my ass and now we laid flat on the bed with him fully on top of me.

He grabbed each of my hands and moved them to be right beside my head on either side. His arms were on top of mine as he interlaced his fingers with mine from on top of me. Using his elbows for leverage, while I didn’t even think it possible, he pushed even deeper inside me.

Using his arms to steady himself, he then began about the work of achieving his ultimate goal of his own orgasm. He was now beginning to focus on his one goal: using me to get what he needed for a full release inside me.

He pulled his cock back, almost completely out of me but not quite. And he paused. He held himself there for a second. I didn’t dare move.

That’s when he whispered in my ear, “You are MINE!” And as he said the word “mine,” he slammed hard into my ass causing me to arch my back with the intensity of it all.

He started pumping in and out of my ass, gaining momentum as he went. He was moving faster and faster.

That’s when he began to truly own me. He was now taking what he needed from me. And I was happy to give it to him now too! I belonged to him. I was so turned on and I could truly feel his ownership. He was leaving his mark on me. And I was proud to have it branded onto me too!

My body was yielding to his every move. I arched my head back and started to moan in pleasure, even though his cock was so deep and tight in my ass that it was causing me some pain too. He wasn’t kidding when he said he was going to take me tonight and that it may well hurt. There’s such a fine line between pain and pleasure, and I was feeling it now.

I could feel the undeniable feeling of the tingle that was now in my pussy. It was aching to be touched. I felt the dripping wetness it was releasing between my legs.

I knew he was getting close to orgasm and I could tell mine was building too. I wondered if I could achieve it before he did and I focused my every fiber on trying to get there.

I heard the familiar words release from my lips, “Take me as yours Sir. I belong to you. I want to please you fully.”

As I spoke these words, it was fuel for his burning desire and he went even harder and faster pushing inside my ass as deep as he could, only to pull out and slam back in as quickly again.

And that’s when I was so close to orgasm that I screamed out, “Please let me cum Sir!”

But instead of saying yes to my request, at that moment is when he rammed his cock deep inside me and held himself there. I felt his cock throbbing it’s sweet release. His juices flowed into my ass and I knew it would be there dripping out all night long too. He was true to his word that he did take me for his pleasure tonight.

After he exhausted his orgasm in my ass, he fell onto my backside, covering my body wholly. He whispered in my ear, “No, you may not cum now. You missed your slight window of opportunity to do so.”

He continued, “I won’t deny, I was hoping this would be the outcome for you. That your ultimate punishment for not wanting to open your legs to me tonight would be that you burn with the unmistakable desire to have an unachievable orgasm.”

That’s when I felt his hand go down between my legs and he touched my already wet pussy. He swiped his fingers up and down, touching and rubbing my clit.

I groaned and was hopeful he would stick his fingers inside me and allow me the release I was seeking after all.

Instead, he brought his wet fingers to my face and said,, “open your mouth” and he stuck his fingers inside. He said, “suck them dry.”

This is the other submissive I do that he knows I truly do not like. In spite of that, I started sucking them intently and licking my own juices from his own hand.

He said, “ahh, my sweet girl. You should embrace your submissive soul more eagerly next time. Maybe tomorrow you’ll be more willing to submit your body upfront instead of wanting to head off to sleep. If you do that, your needy pussy will be able to have the sweet release it seeks. And your mouth won’t be full of my fingers, feeding you your juices as the remembrance you needed. Reminding you of the fact you LIKE submitting to me.”

He pulled his fingers out of my mouth and rolled off of my back.

He said, “Thank you my wife for submitting your whole mind and body to me at a time that you didn’t really want to. Now that you’ve met my needs in a way I’m accustomed to, you may go to sleep. But don’t even THINK about putting on those pajamas again. I want to be able to see and feel your beautiful body at all times. But you already knew that too.”

I said, “Thank you Sir for using me in a way that’s pleasing to you and reminding me of your love, dominance, and leadership. I love you Sir.”

He smiled and said, “Oh I love you more my sweet submissive good girl!”

It felt good to serve my Sir and to know I made him happy.

I really am his Good Girl. Most of the time anyway.

Hugs,

Marie

175 – Craving normalcy.

As most of you know, i live in Texas. We have 254-counties, 2nd largest in the US in land mass (Alaska #1), and 2nd largest in population (California #1),

If Texas was a country today, we would have the 10th largest economy in the world.

Our motto is “The Friendship State”. And most people say that they’ve never met anyone friendlier than a Texan.

But i am not feeling very friendly at the moment.

Instead, i am feeling quite cranky. We are in the midst of the worst cold storm in over 30-years – since 1989. The lowest temp recorded in history was 5 (Fahrenheit) recorded in 1930. And while i don’t know for certain, i think we tied that last night. So in other words, this is the coldest week of my entire lifetime and many (many!) years before that also.

We have now had 36-consecutive hours below freezing, which (as far as i can find online) has never happened before. It is the first time all 254-counties have been in a State of Emergency at the same time.

We went for 36-hours without power inside our house, and now for the most recent 24-hours we have gone 4-hours off for 2-on. While it is currently on, my house is warm. But when it is off, the temp plummets quickly. At one point it was 45-degrees INSIDE my house.

Just for fun i looked up “what is the average temp inside my refrigerator.” And the answer was 37. So it was feeling similar in my house to being inside a refrigerator! Think about that for a second.

The primary reason for all this trouble is due to the Texas public utility entity called ERCOT. They are responsible for the making and/or buying of electricity, who then sends it to the suppliers, who then sends it to the customers. ERCOT failed to test the turbines (with fossil fuels) before this storm that we had a week’s notice of, AND didn’t use common sense to appreciate that the windmills (naturally made electricity) would freeze up and be useless. And (apparently) 13-other states offered to sell us electricity before the storm hit, and ERCOT declined. So 30% of Texas’ electricity went off the grid and there was nothing that could be done about it after that… except pray and wait. (i don’t typically advocate for people’s heads to roll…. but… this is one time i think someone should be held accountable!)

You have no idea how much you use electricity until you don’t have it. While i do not like the cold, snow, or ice… i can deal with it when it doesn’t invade my home like an unwanted guest.

Many people have lost water due to frozen pipes as well. So on top of no electricity, they also have no water. And they may well have house-pipe-Sheetrock and construction issues soon too. Some of our friends and family have already found busted pipes, despite the fact they are still quite frozen. We are thankful to not being made to deal with that situation, and i am literally praying we don’t either! One of our friends has been told they are number 25 on the list for the plumber to get to their house and to not expect them to be able to get there for several days.

This is on top of boil alerts now too because the water cleaning power plants are failing due to cold…. and no electricity. One store had milk in stock, but couldn’t sell it due to electricity gaps where they “couldn’t guarantee the milk was still ok to drink”. And a hospital had 8,000 vials of the covid vaccine that, after also losing power for too long, had to dump them.

This looks to be our current situation continuing through to Friday. By Saturday-Sunday it will all be gone and be a balmy 65 degrees. By the weekend, we will just have to clean up the remnants of this debacle on which i pray will be little for us personally!

David feels helpless and i understand, but i keep reassuring him he is doing everything possible and keeping our family as normal as he can. Admittedly the last 24-hours have been better than the 36-hours prior to that! So i do see improvement.

Say a prayer for us and all of the Great State of Texas, and specifically my mental capacity to deal with this “unprecedented historic time”. (Have heard those words so many times over the last year between weather and COVID, i am just completely sick of them).

i just want to go back to being normal. i won’t be complaining about anything for a long long time. i am grateful for so many things… in spite of the difficulties i am currently in.

Just to remind myself … here’s a few of them:

My husband… taking care of us the best way possible,

My son… for not complaining about the situation that we can’t control

My sister and her family… who are in the midst of this right beside us too… nor are they complaining about any of this either.

My friends … for checking on us and vice versa, providing so much needed mental strength and compassion to one another

My resilient house… for not having broken pipes… hopefully at all… but definitely not at the moment. And providing immediate warmth and comfort through good insulation when the electricity has been on.

My dogs… for being easy going and snuggling with me to help me feel better.

My job… and co-workers… for being understanding, patient, and trying to help one another wherever we can.

My (and my family’s) health … for not having life threatening situations or conditions among us that would have otherwise also caused more complications in this storm.

And finally… for the reprieve from the constant no-electricity that has allowed us to shower and have a warm cup of coffee. A shower and coffee resets your attitude and gives you the refresher to be able to say, “i can do this!” mentality.

i will be better by this weekend…. but right now… time can’t move fast enough! Thanks for listening to me rant, for the prayers to move time forward to Sunday, and for your love too!

Hugs,

Marie