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27 – i got what i wanted.. spanked

Written by Marie on . Posted in Marriage, Spanking, Submission. No Comments on 27 – i got what i wanted.. spanked

Sometimes i think the idea of something is better than the real deal. Sometimes i know it’s for my own good. i’m not sure where this falls on the spectrum.

But i did get what i asked for…. spanked.

In terms of spankings intensity, this was very low in reality… but that’s all it took. It hurt! My butt was SO out of (spanking) shape, this hurt in a hurry!

Sir just took his time, swats all over my ass, and i jumped all over the place. That didn’t make him the least bit happy. So he kept going. And my butt got redder and redder. And tender. And hot.

And he said “are you going to be able to sit down?”

And I said “yes”

So he kept going.

Tears were starting to leak out of my eyes. i really wanted to beg for him to stop, but i had just (begged) for him to do this … and in my mind, i needed to yield to his authority. So i needed to let him tear up my ass as much as he wanted to.

And then it ended. And while it was a relief at that moment, not even 10-minutes later, i was craving more.

i feared that after such a long break from the DD lifestyle, that i’d get it back and really not want it after all. But … it was like a homecoming.

i welcome the next one and i hope my tears flow much more fluidly and thoroughly.

Hugs,

Marie

21 – Maintenance is working as intended

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 21 – Maintenance is working as intended

So i wondered from the beginning WHY do people do Maintenance.  i even previously blogged about it, where i came to terms with the idea.

Last week, Sir decided we would do DAILY maintenance.  D*A*I*L*Y.

Keep in mind that while i had come to the realization that it did have a proper place in domestic discipline, i still wasn’t keen on it.

But i still submitted.  “Yes Sir”.  And what i was thinking in my head was “BUT WHY?”

Well, i admit – it works.

We have now done it for a week.  My bottom is not nearly as sore as i’d have thought, but i have realized quite a few things about myself, spankings, maintenance, and submission.

Namely:  IT WORKS.  Maintenance.  It works.

Here’s how the week has gone:  

Day 1: – i didn’t do anything ‘wrong’ so remind me WHY do we to do this!? (grumpy)

Spanking hurt.  It was intended to be so.  i was standing on the floor, legs apart, hands on the side of the bed.

At the end, i felt his fingers reach between my legs.  And i heard him say, “Good girl for taking that spanking.  Do you want to cum?”

Me:  “Thank you Sir.  Yes, i’d like to cum”.
And he fingered me until i begged permission to do so.  And he said Yes!

Day 2: – Okay, now it hurts.  (seriously, is this really necessary?)

Sir seems to want to get it over with.  Going fast, firm, and intense.

But at the end, he pushed me up onto the bed in a doggie style and asked me if i wanted to cum.  Of course, i said “YES SIR!”.

And he fingered me again until i came.

i guess while maintenance spankings are necessary, if i take them as i should without complaining, there is a reward at the end!

Day 3: – i don’t want this to be the norm.  (fine, maybe it IS necessary)

The spanking of course.  The cum – YES, please, can i do it again?!!

Day 4: – okay, i’ll just get into position before he even tells me to.  He was impressed and surprised.  (okay, this hurts enough i need to submit without getting a “real” spanking).

But i took the liberty to change up “the position”.  i propped pillows on the bed, angled myself over them so that my ass was in the air, and put my arms under my stomach (so i couldn’t be tempted to reach back and stop the spanking mid-way).

What i didn’t appreciate was that when he hits now, the ‘give’ between the paddle and the bed is not much.  And there’s no place for me to straighten up, flex or move away, and i feel the full brunt of it.

Add to that, David has increased the intensity of the maintenance spanking and each swat is delivered more intentionally also.  He even started to tell me, “That was a 30% arm strength”.  i can’t imagine what 100% would feel like.  And i hope i never have to find out!  As i said, “working as intended!”

But then came the reward.  He said, “Flip over on your back.”  i did.  WOW – my ass stung as it came together with the bed!

He got between my legs and licked me until i begged him to allow me to cum.  He said YES!  And i released my orgasm on his face.

Day 5: – Get a text “Assume the position”.  His arm and swats are firmer.  He is testing my limits.  (now i’m compliant and expecting it, although not exactly wanting it).

i had hoped to have a reprieve because David had to take our son to school  as he missed the bus.  And i had gotten dressed intending to go to work and was excited at the possibility of skipping today’s maintenance.

Darn it.  NO such luck.  But maybe the cum reward afterward will be sufficient and i’ll have to relax and wait for the reward.

i didn’t know what “the position” he meant – standing by the bed or laying on pillows with ass in the air.  I opted for the latter because i just wasn’t sure how much time would lapse until he was home.  And David seemed pleased to see my ass in the air when he did arrive home.

i cringed with each swat.  And i prayed it would end soon.  And i prayed that he’d allow me to cum.  And i thanked God for this man and his discipline and leadership of me and our family.  And i prayed that God would help me submit always and to never have to incur the wrath of Sir’s disciplinary spanking.  Ever.  (Although i know it will be needed at some point, i pray it is no time soon!).

Working as intended.

And i got to cum too.

Day 6 – i don’t even get dressed.  i just know there’s no point.  i am accepting.  The intensity has increased with each day.  I cringe.   (i do NOT want the real spanking because maintenance is enough!)

i wish there were a way to avoid this.  But i don’t see there is.  And arguing the point that i’ve gotten the message wouldn’t help, in fact, it would likely elicit a true disciplinary spanking as i felt the need to argue.

He peppers my ass with small, intense swats all over.  And then a BIG SWAT.  OUCH!  And repeat with small swats all over and SMACK!  OUCH AGAIN!  By the time he was done, my voice was almost hoarse from letting out the yelps of pain.

And he climbed between my legs once again.  This part is SO AMAZING!  He let me cum. i pray he never says NO to the cumming part.

For the first time ever he tells me, “Wow, you had a little bit of a squirt that time”.

REALLY?

Day 7: – i wake up and tell Sir, “These maintenance spankings are having the desired effect.  i won’t intentionally misbehave.  Knowing the intensity and heat from a red hot ass after maintenance, i have ZERO desire to have a discipline spanking.  David says, “GOOD!  Then we can skip today’s maintenance.”

Phew!  A reprieve.

But no cum.  i guess there is a bitter sweet to this.  i bet Sir will be desirous to allow me to cum without a spanking though too! 🙂

8th day –

Sir asks, “Is your ass still sore?”

Me: “No Sir”

Sir says, “Hmm.  Maybe we need to work on the intensity to ensure it is a lasting effect!”

Me:  “Two days later?”

Sir:  “YES! But now you can insert a butt plug and wear a g string to hold it in tight today!”
Oh my!

Day 9 – will be tomorrow – i wonder what it may hold.  And when can i graduate to NOT being daily maintenance?!!!

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie

20 – COMPLETELY ANGRY!

Written by Marie on . Posted in Punishment, Spanking. 1 Comment on 20 – COMPLETELY ANGRY!

i’ll get right to the point.  i got ANGRY at Sir tonight.

He did something to “help” me, that had i KNOWN he had done it already, i wouldn’t ahve ALSO done it.  ALL he had to do was TELL ME.  But he didn’t.  And that caused me to do about 3 hours of extra work that was duplicating efforts for NO Reason.

He didn’t mean to not tell me.  But he didn’t.

Like everyone, we are all so busy in life, that spending THREE HOURS doing something that didn’t need to be done at all, seems like a complete waste.  And i couldn’t help but think, “all he had to do was TELL ME!”  But he did NOT.

He knew i was mad too.

But here’s where PRE-DD and POST-DD resulted in a VERY different outcome.

Let me tell you what would’ve happened – PRE-DD.

i would have said, “WHY didn’t you tell me?  You KNEW that was important.  If you’d told me it would have saved me a LOT of time!  Seriously, I’m ANGRY at you!”

And he would’ve said, “I did the work.  So I didn’t tell you I did it.  I did it to help you!  It got done!  If you wanted to know, you should’ve asked!”

And me, “It didn’t help me for you to do it if I didn’t KNOW you did it!  And as to me Asking you…. How would I even KNOW to ask – ‘hey, did you do this thing we never even talked about, and I planned to do because I’m responsible for but that you may have decided to do it anyway’ – REALLY???”

And from there – we would have gotten in a fight where he would’ve said things about how i’m not grateful, i just want to complain, that i am always grumpy and nagging, that i always see the negatives.

And i would’ve come back with things like he never takes responsibility for his actions, that he could’ve communicated with me, and now he refuses to see that his failure to communicate is the real problem here, and he should apologize.

And he wouldn’t.

And we would have the silent treatment and sulk and be angry for the rest of the evening!

NOW let me tell you what did happen – POST-DD.

He knew i was mad.  But i just held my tongue.  i said NOTHING.

Until…..

He said, “What?  What do you want to say?”

i said, “i’m not going to tell you what i’m thinking because it will come out ALL wrong and i’ll just end up in the bedroom with a red ass!”

He said, “You are really pretty much there already with that tone! So you may as well speak your mind!” (And his anger was starting to rise, but not ‘quite’ there yet).

i said, “i’m so angry right now, but i don’t want to tell you anything.  And if i’m already headed to the bedroom….. (and i paused and said)…. let’s just go now and get it over with!” (in a fairly angry, about to explode tone, but not ‘quite’ there yet).

Since our son was out of the house at the time, i stripped naked while stomping to the bedroom and just dropped a trail of clothes along the way.

i didn’t look him in the eye, say a word, or acknowledge a thing.

He laughed.  That made me madder!

i put my hands on the bed, spread my legs shoulder-width apart, looked down, and was determined to NOT MOVE!

And he had the paddle already in his hand.  He swung it hard.  It instantly hurt.  But i refused to move!  i didn’t even flinch!

And he swung it again.  Hard again.  Wow.  It hurt.  But i still did NOT move.

A third time and a fourth and a fifth.  i counted.  Not outloud because Sir doesn’t require it, but in my head.

My butt was on fire already!

Is it my imagination or is he swinging harder than ever before?  Does he WANT to make me use the safe word?  — i’ve not used it yet — so maybe this is his time to get it to come out?!

Six.  And i flinched.  But it hurt.

Seven.  And i flinched even more.  Okay, so my butt is on fire.

And THEN – EIGHT –  HURTTTTTTTTTT!  A LOTTTTTTT.  WOW.  That was THE worst yet!  i just know David put more force into that one!   And i almost hit the ceiling – hands came off the bed, legs went perfectly straight – i was standing upright.

He said nothing.

i took about 3-4 seconds to collect myself and i resumed the position.

NINE – OMG – is it even possible to be even MORE painful?  okay, i’m thinking how many more can i take without safe-wording and how much more power is he going to put into the next swing?

Tears came to my eyes.  First time EVER for that!

TEN – Just as bad.

ELEVEN – same as Ten.  My butt is burning and on fire for sure.  how many more?!

TWELVE – Okay, more intense again.  i stood up with tears in my eyes and with a pleading voice squeaked out, “Please Sir, can we be done?”

With that he said, “Are you still mad?”

okay, so i kinda wasssss still mad, but not nearly like before.

And i told him that.  He said, “Do you think you can calm down (the rest of the way) or should we keep going?”

And i responded with, “Yes Sir, i believe i can.  And i’m sorry i got so mad”.

BONUS:

That’s when he put the paddle away, hugged and kissed me, said he loved me and he was happy that THIS was how this ended.  And after that, we talked.  About the original task.  He apologized for not realizing that i didn’t know and not telling me.  He thanked me for not yelling or starting a fight.  He recognized that i held my tongue (mostly) and that the way i controlled myself was significantly better than it would’ve been without DD.

And i thanked him also for working the anger out in a positive way.  i thanked him for the spanking.  For being in control.  For knowing how to use force when needed.  (David admitted that he used more forceful swats tonight than he has ever before). 

So instead of fighting, we talked.  Reasonably and positively.

We both agreed that Post-DD is significantly better than Pre-DD.
We are NEVER going back!

NO fighting.  NO residual anger. It happened, it was dealt with, and the rest of the evening has been pleasant!

And NOW he made me popcorn and brought it to me for me to watch the fall season opener of my favorite tv show!  🙂

(Oh and in case you are wondering – more than an hour later, i’m struggling to sit … my ass is SOOOOO RED!).

Final Score:  

Pre-DD: 0, Post-DD: 1.  Its a WIN for DD!

18 – Red Beans and Rice.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Punishment, Submission. 8 Comments on 18 – Red Beans and Rice.

LONG post – sorry, but hopefully you will understand…. and read through anyway.  🙂

So today was NOT my best day.  And Sir is requiring a blog posting about it “now”.  So here i am, being vulnerable, and telling you how my day has gone.

USEFUL STORY FACTS.

Let me tell you about how my day started…

#1 – our son had a failed attempt to spend the night with a friend last night.  A friend was having a sleep over and at 3:00 am this morning son texted me asking to go get him and bring him home.  The (teen) boys had had a fight and he just wanted to leave.  So i was up earlyyyyy.  And i (basically) didn’t go back to sleep after getting him home and listening to him tell me the “whole story”.

#2 – a friend who lives out of State, who i haven’t seen in 10- years was in town for just the weekend and (after getting Sir’s approval) we agreed to get together this morning.   And i was super excited to get to see her today.

#3 – David was going to church early due to being on technical team and the original plan was that i would drop our son at church, and then go see said friend from there. (i was allowed to miss to go see my friend).

So with that.  i texted David at 8:00am to report the events with our son and to confirm it was okay for our son to skip church also.  Well, like all texting convos, while i was telling him about our son, he was asking me to do some tasks before i left.

He asked that i would rinse the RED BEANS and put them in water to soak.  And if i did that, the beans would then be ready to go when he was home from church, so he would set them to cooking to be ready for tonight’s dinner.

He proceeded to give me explicit directions on EXACTLY what to do to get the beans soaking in the way he wanted them.  This was all via text and between me saying, “yes Sir” i would also write more about our son’s mishaps that occurred overnight and got permission to allow our son to sleep in and also miss church.

So with that,  i went to the shower, dressed, and left the house.  Went to meet my friend.  Off and on texting with Sir about having fun, etc.

And a bit later,  i received a text from Sir that said, “Forget something??” after he had gotten home from church.

Oh crap.  i forgot the beans.  How to respond?  NO WAY i can deny that i didn’t know how to do it.  He texted EVERY step.  

i responded, “Yes Sir.  i did.  i forgot the beans.  i’m so very sorry”.

To which i received a text saying “What ELSE?“

What else?!  Uhmm.  NO idea…. Yikes.

i responded, “i’m not sure i know of anything else Sir.”

To which i received a text saying, “Your Collar?!”

(i have a collar that while it’s not been exactly or explicitly made clear when it is expected to be on or off, i basically “just know”.  And it is basically, “All the time, but especially when leaving the house”.  So i knew this was a time i should have worn it!)

Oh double crap.  i clearly wasn’t thinking about anything Sir wanted or expected when i was dressing and leaving to meet with my friend!

i responded, “yes Sir.  i have failed to wear it today.  i’m sorry.”

To which i received a “Hmm” text back.  Oh triple crap.  NOT good!

Well, he didn’t text again.  And the entire thing weighed heavy on my mind the rest of my friend meeting.  And i texted, “i’m heading home now” at the conclusion of our meeting.

And i got a text back that said, “You need to stop and buy a bag of Red beans.”

“Yes Sir”.

i did.

And with that, Sir greets me and says, “I’m going to take a nap.  We will deal with you after that!”

The waiting continues.  The weight on my mind is NOT alleviated at ALL yet.

After Sir gets up, he says, “Go to the bedroom, take off all your clothes, put ON YOUR COLLAR and wait for me on the bed.  I’m going to order pizza so we have SOMETHING to eat for dinner!”

Five very long minutes later…..

He comes in, with the bag of red beans that i had bought, and says, “You’ve had trouble listening and follow through with tasks today. When I tell you to do something, I expect it to be done.  Now you have to learn a lesson.”

And he proceeded to pour the beans onto the floor, near the wall.   He points to it.  He says “Kneel.  Now.  Put your nose to the wall.  You will be here until the pizza is delivered.”

And he left.

WELL – the first thoughts i had was, “This isn’t as bad as i feared.  In fact, i’m not sure this will be any consequence or punishment at all!”  But that feeling did NOT last long!

The minutes ticked away.  My knees started to feel it.  i shifted my weight from left to right.  i thought, “Wow, that hurt!” but i also felt the beans “move”.  Well, i wasn’t too sure how Sir would respond if he came back and found that the beans were basically NOT under my knees.  So i leaned back, pushed them together in a cohesive pile, and went back to position.

OH MY GOSH.  MISTAKE.  THAT HURT!

And i waited.  My back was starting to hurt from leaning into the wall for my nose to touch.  So now my knees AND my back hurt.

And he came back.  He asked, “How are we doing??”  i had NO real idea how to respond.  i worried that saying i was in pain would seem like a complaint, but to NOT say that would be a lie.  So i opted for the truth to which he responded with, “GOOD!”

That’s when he slipped his fingers between my legs and i squirmed.  OUCH.  That squirm made the beans shift and sent pain through my knees.  He saw the movement and said, “DO NOT MOVE! And don’t even think of Coming!”.  He rubbed my clit and it was wet in an instant.  i always get wet when he touches me.  And then he pushed a finger in my ass.  In. Out.  In. Out.  Deeper in.  All the way out.  Faster in.  Faster out.

My head leaned back.  i could feel the orgasm building.  And he said, “Nose on the wall!  I said do NOT move!” and he pulled fingers out and slapped my ass.  Over and over.  And while it didn’t hurt, it did a nice warm-up too!  And i did not and was not allowed to cum.

And he left.

And i waited.  And the beans shifted.  So i shuffled them back together.  Again.  And IT HURT!  You’d think i’d have learned the first time!  But no, i didn’t.  This time, tears came to my eyes when i made myself get back in place.

45-long-minutes-later, i heard the door bell ring.  i was never so happy to hear that bell!

And just a couple of minutes after that, Sir came in and asked, “Have you learned that you need to remember to do as i ask?”

“Oh yes, Sir, i have!”

“Do your knees hurt?”

“Oh yes, Sir, they do!”

“Good!” (then he told me to stand, gave me forgiveness kisses and hugs) and he also said, “Now get dressed, get a Ziploc and clean up the beans.  Do not throw them away.  Keep them.  i may need to repeat this at some point!  Then take a picture of your knees.  Keep it as a reminder.  And let’s go eat dinner… albeit PIZZA and NOT red beans and rice!”

“Yes Sir”

And we ate Pizza.   Afterward he said, “Now go blog about this.  I want you to remember this! and post the Picture with it”

In case you are wondering, YES, those are my knees in this picture above.  (Sexy, right?! LOL).  And 2-hours later, they are still indented, although not as bad.  And they still sting too!

Red beans will be tomorrow’s meal.  And i hope to NEVER have this repeated.

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie

17 – To Maintenance or Not to Maintenance?

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. 2 Comments on 17 – To Maintenance or Not to Maintenance?

A few Deep Thoughts on Spanking… the “just because” kind… or Maintenance… whatever you want to call it.

Whatever you call it, the gist is common and goes like this, “Because I like what you are doing, and I want it to continue, so I’m going to spank you to reinforce that behavior.”

i have to admit this entire concept has been a struggle for me.  If i haven’t done anything WRONG, then WHY do i DESERVE a punishment?  Shouldn’t you just punish the bad and reward the good?

And WHY have i struggled with this?  Okay, so i see a cause/effect relationship between that goes like this:  doing something wrong equals spankings.  Doing what is expected equals NOT getting spankings.

But when there is NOTHING to spank for, but a spanking results, well, isn’t it then …….abuse?  (That is a little word with a HUGE implication!  Trust me, keep reading…)

i probably ought to tell you how idefine “abuse”.  Quite simply, i think it is “unwilling”.  Unwilling to submit, unwilling to agree to be spanked (or any type of discipline), or un-desirable of what is happening…. but if it were to happen anyway…. that would equal abuse.

So how to reconcile all of this?!?  Well today, i changed my attitude about this.

Let me back up just a tad and lay the ground work to tell you HOW i got to the place that resulted in this changed attitude…..

As of late, i’ve had a lottttt to do at work and its caused a lottttt of stress.  Well, when i get stressed, i struggle to submit.  In fact, i struggle to be anything but selfish.  Generally, i don’t treat many people with respect, and certainly not David, to whom i have been married to for 18 years now.

Not that i intend to be “mean” to anyone really, especially David, but just like that phrase, “We take it out on the ones we love the most”, that’s basically what happens for me.   Let me say that this behavior isn’t an out-an-out “bad girl and deserve a spanking right NOW” kind of struggle.  Rather it’s more of a short, snappy, rude, and well, disrespectful responses.  And as an aside, since beginning DD, i’ve actually been LESS rude and LESS inappropriate than it would’ve been before DD.  But still.

So today, i knew i’d gone too far really.  i knew that Sir was being kind to me and letting things slide because of this stress i’ve had.  But, in a way, i’ve abused him (emotionally) by being so mean and so rude and so disrepectful!

Realistically, i knew the answer was to encourage Sir to administer a spanking.  i told Sir  how i think regular maintenance would be good.  It would reinforce the good, discourage the bad….

And let’s face it… Maintenance keeps things running properly.

Even my A/C needs maintenance.  It’s cheaper when the AC company comes and checks on it BEFORE it breaks.  It also creates far fewer of the less-than-desirable hot house days (when it breaks, it would be miserable in Texas!).

So using that same analogy… but applying it to maintenance spankings….. it is far better to reinforce the positive, keep things on track before it has a chance to break, and far less miserable if the ‘bad behavior’ were to NOT happen and cause things would break.

Hence – maintenance is GOOD for my AC and for ME.  🙂

Sir didn’t disappoint.  He prefers the paddle.  So much so, we’ve never used the belt.  i requested that he use the belt today.  And it stung in **the** spot it hit.  The end of it ‘snapped’ at my bottom and stung exactly where it hit.  Unfortunately for me, Sir kept hitting in the exact-same-spot.  So wow, did it really stink!

i debated if it would be out of line to ask Sir to move to a different spot.  But since i already asked for maintenance AND the belt, i decided to keep my mouth shut at this third request in the midst of the spanking moment.

And sure enough, after he was done, he asked me how i felt.  (Glad i didn’t open my mouth in the middle!).  i said, “the maintenance was needed.  i hope to have that happen regularly.  And to the belt, when it hit over and over again in the exact same spot, it stung pretty good and was more painful than the paddle – but only in THAT spot.  Whereas the paddle stings ALL over due to the all over coverage.  If possible, in the future, if you could move around a bit more it would be better.”

To which he said, “First off, you are TELLING me how to administer spankings… and I don’t care for that!  But second, you say ‘better’ if I move around.  Better for WHO?  YOU?”  and he shook his finger at me and continued with “THAT is not your call either”.

But i bet the next time he uses the belt, he will move it around.  🙂

So to maintenance or not to maintenance is the question at hand?    Well, assuming there is a “next time”….for maintenance… or with the belt…..but frankly, i hope there IS a next time.  Because i don’t see this as “ABUSE” in any way because NOW i see the positive and i am willingly submitting to Sir.  And i don’t want to ABUSE him either.  His kindness is overwhelming and i shouldn’t have the ability to use it (to my advantage) to the point that it becomes a way to tip the power/ control in my favor… or inflict mental abuse on Sir.

So i’m pretty sure there will be a next time.

And TO MAINTENANCE is my verdict and final answer.

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie