269 – Deja Vu. Big O or big W?
i read a blog post recently, written by a woman about her submissive husband. She wrote the post to fellow (male or female) Dominants about how you know when to end a spanking. She talked about how the spanking shouldn’t end with tears, begging to stop, promises to be a better sub, or even a red ass.
She said a spanking should end when you (the Dom) feel “that your sub has learned their lesson sufficient to not have to repeat the punishment for the same infraction for at least a month or more.” And if you do have to repeat the punishment, the second spanking should be “that much more.”
And today i am almost in the exact same position that i was in less than a month ago. While i am hopeful that this will end differently, i am just stubborn enough that i really don’t care if it ends exactly the same!
In fact, part of me WANTS to press it, be a brat, throw a temper tantrum, and … well… essentially dare David to spank me! But, then again, i don’t want a big W (whipping/spanking/punishment).
Another Saturday. Another time where David is out of town. Another day i want to watch tv. And another day that i am booted off.
And another day that David is texting me about alternatives. And telling me to calm down and click here and push that and …. Well…. i just don’t care! It shouldn’t be THIS hard to watch tv.
The biggest differences between then and now…..
1) David had not discovered the power of the Whip. The Whip came a week after the paddle spanking, which came as a result of the tv debacle…. All of which was just 2-weeks ago at this point!
2) i have the chastity belt on. This trip out of town has been fully locked up. i did get an email from the Fancy Steel team saying the good belt is expected to ship in the next week or so. i am getting super excited about it. i am getting used to wearing the belt a lot more now, but i think the new one will fit that much better too.
You’d think when I was in belt that i would not feel sexual urges. No. i want an O even more. It’s the idea of telling me i can’t have it, makes me want it even more. But it just ain’t possible in belt,
3) While i WANT to be a brat about this, i am trying hard to refrain. David KNOWS i am mad. But instead of me going on about all this in text, i simply said, “i have zero desire to get my ass whipped. So i am fine.”
He knows i am NOT fine, but he also knows this is my wee small stand without throwing a real temper tantrum too. i am refraining.
And this is really better in the end. As maybe i won’t get spanked tomorrow when he gets home. i say maybe because the night is still young. And David is still not home. And i am still not over this. i am choosing to tell you rather than him, because i am confident that if i tell him all this, he will tell me to expect to be spanked upon his return.
A-N-D because David has me in chastity AND because he now knows how to wield the whip while i am in chastity, i suspect the punishment won’t be a repeat with the paddle but rather a repeat of The Whip.
And let me tell you, that Whip was NO joke! i felt those whip marks on my ass for nearly a week! There were two specific spots that had a deep tissue bruise that took awhile to fully recover from. It was effective!
In spite of how hard that Whipping was, believe it or not but i didn’t cry during that whipping. Tears were starting to form and my breathing was shortened, but as all that was happening he stopped. Thankfully.
i can only imagine that if David were to take the Domme’s advice about making the second punishment for the second offense inside a month tone “that much worse”, and if he were to do it with the whip, while in chastity just HOW bad it would hurt.
i have NO doubt i would be in tears.
i am glad i am telling you about my deja vu moments today.
Instead, maybe, with any luck… when David returns home i will be released from belt to get a big O, instead of staying in belt to get a big W!
Let’s hope i can change my destiny!
Hugs,
Marie