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177 – Craving submission

Written by Marie on . Posted in Submission. No Comments on 177 – Craving submission

i have mentioned how i am a strong person outside our home. And i am. i wouldn’t say or call myself “Dominant” to the people outside our home on purpose because i wouldn’t necessarily say that is true. But maybe “normal” or “just like everyone else” is definitely true. And definitely more “dominant” outside my home than my “submission” inside the home.

In other words, dial up the dominant a notch …. or three, and dial down the submissive that same amount when i am outside our home (without David). That last part is important, because whenever I am with David i am the same submissive wife, regardless if i am inside or out. But sometimes that’s hard to do (be submissive outside the home) when i am with others AND David at the same time. But that may be inspiration for another post as well.

When i am outside our home, without David, maybe a little Dominant too. But i would define dominant as in …. the ordinary and normal ways of the world. At work, i have a job where lots of decisions are made, i direct a lot of people’s activities, and am asked for a lot of information….. and i do it all with complete confidence.

And then i go on “overload”. Too many questions, too many required decisions cause me to yearn for easy days, doubt seeps in, indecision starts to happen… and i start to overthink and then i do think, “no more! Time out!”

And i just want to go home…. and be a submissive wife!

i crave submission.

That happened yesterday. And when that happens, i go to my submissive mindset. i mentally withdraw from the world and go to my Submissive-self.

i will say it again….

i crave submission.

i start to find ways to get it. It feels a bit like an addiction …. or maybe a life-line is really a better way to describe it. It has a “i am going crazy here and need to escape to a good, safe place” feeling about it.

My safe place is my submissive wife mindset. It’s not a physical place, but a mental place. It is definitely the physical place of my home… but as mentioned above, it is also outside my home when i am with David.

i don’t do drugs of any kind, unless prescribed. And yet, in a mental-way, being submissive is my drug of choice. My addiction is being a submissive wife to my husband.

That’s usually when i come home and say stuff to David like, “i need maintenance.” Or something like that anyway.

Most of the time, he says “ok, let’s do it.” And i go assume the position to be spanked and then it releases the endorphins, in both of us really, to be calm and let the outside world be … well, ….outside.

This time i didn’t do that though. i didn’t ask for maintenance. i didn’t really get the release i was craving or needing.

W-H-Y?

Well, David has been really stressed out from work for a month or so now. He has a lot of work to be done, and his team isn’t getting it done, which means he has to pick up their slack. That means he is working more than usual and with more intensity and stress.

The stress at my job and me craving to submit, doesn’t mean i can come home and “demand” he manage me too. If i did demand for him to be my dominant, my Sir, pay attention to me, or even just spank the endorphins out…. i would probably call that “topping from the bottom.”

Topping from the Bottom isn’t really submissive at all, but rather telling him how to dominate and ultimately causing him to be submissive to me.

Yet…. it’s a tricky place too. i need to be able to have open communication about how i am feeling ….. and craving submission….. while not telling him what to do too.

This might be a time where i could “brat” too. And sometimes i have in the past. Meaning that I would do something bad to test or dare him to stand up and take action. To see how dominant he really is. To see if he will tolerate bad behaviors. But testing our loved ones isn’t a good way to act or a good place to be. While he might respond well, it could also set you both up for failure really.

So instead of doing those things….. and getting a much-over-due spanking (or discipline) …. i just acted like an adult and said, “i know it’s because we have both been stressed, but i am craving submission. And i hope you are craving dominance, because i’d like to amp it up again. To put it back where it belongs.” (With “it” being our relationship dynamic.)

He said, “I agree. We both need it.”

We have been a bit “removed” from our usual selves and withdrawn from one another lately because of our work demands. And i don’t even mean just our dynamic, but quite literally physically and mostly mentally, removed from one another. When we get overwhelmed with “anything” we have no more capacity for anything else to be added, so we block out that other thing. So lately the part that has been blocked out has been “us” and our dynamic.

It’s not all bad, as we haven’t been fighting or anything like that. But we haven’t been in our D/s typical home dynamic either…… which is why i haven’t written lately.

Besides stress of work, there hasn’t been much to write about! Not much inspiration to tell you about!

But i do have some fiction stories I my head that will probably make their way to this site soon too…. 😉

Anyway… after me nudging David back into being my dominant, and me telling him i am craving his dominant hand…. i suspect i may have more inspiration here quite soon again.

(And this coming week we are taking a 3-day road trip to do two official university tours with our son. It’s quite probable that the D/s dynamic outside our home may well be tested in full! So i may have even MORE inspiration to write about than i even know! Stay tuned!!).

Hugs,

Marie

168 – Dying to know…. Dom or sub?

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Submission. No Comments on 168 – Dying to know…. Dom or sub?

Yesterday was …. my one day to Dominate my Dominant Sir.

On Dec 31, he surprised me and told me i would get one day per year to dominate him, and it was to be Jan 1, yesterday.

While the day went well, it definitely did not go as i had envisioned or would’ve necessarily imagined.

i spent much of Dec 31 thinking on what i’d do as his Dominant, and what i’d have him do as my sub. And many of you gave me many suggestions too (thank you!).

A couple of you even warned me about how it may not go well, and you seemed leery of the idea altogether; thinking that the natural order of things, the balance, shouldn’t be disturbed. You basically told me that upsetting the apple cart on purpose was not a good idea.

All in all though, with my own thoughts and all of yours too (including the warnings), i prepared my mind and i thought i was ready.

Yesterday morning comes and we wake up. Almost without fail, i am out of bed before David by at least/about 15-minutes, and on a normal day he would find me on the couch drinking coffee and on my iPad surfing. Jan 1 was no different. Same start.

What was different though was that i normally greet him, “Good morning Sir,” whereas yesterday i said nothing. i waited for his greeting.

He said, “Good morning.” And i repeated just those two words, leaving out “Sir” on purpose.

He noticed i didn’t say “Sir” and he told me as much. i said, “i noticed you didn’t say ma’am either.” And the line was drawn. Both of us smiled at one another, daring the other to use the title…. neither of us budged. i wondered if he did that on purpose to remind me that i am a sub at heart, but dismissed that notion for the minute.

i had intended to tell him, “you will cook me breakfast and i will be having….” but before i could get that out he said, “I’ll cook you breakfast when you are ready. Please tell me what you’d like.”

Wow. Ok. So he’s going to submit to me without me telling him how to do it, but won’t call me Ma’am. Ok, so i can work with this. (i wasn’t really sure i wanted to be called ma’am anyway, so all good really). He cooked breakfast and we ate.

When i was done showering, he came into our room to dress himself. After drying off and while i was still naked, i laid on my back and spread my legs. i said, “you need to make me orgasm now.”

He then said, “it’s Friday and we probably need to do maintenance first.”

i said, “Dominants don’t get spanked. They do the spanking. So no maintenance today, unless it is on your ass.”

He raised his eyebrows at me and said, “uh huh.” But nothing more.

So i did not do maintenance yesterday and i wonder if it will happen today now instead. If i were to guess, i think it will! And if he doesn’t suggest it, i just may. In order to ensure that we have put the apple cart back upright and all apples are safely inside, just as they should be.

And with that, between my legs he went! i didn’t ask to orgasm, i just did. Because i was the dominant and i didn’t need to ask.

When he realized it, he asked me, “did you orgasm?” And after i said yes, he said, “ok. Good.” On any other day, he would’ve said, “without permission???” And it would likely have ended the session and/or had me turned over for a spanking,

And he kept going. While not spoken in any tone other than kind humility, he said, “you should cum more.” He didn’t use a demanding or commanding tone at all.

After two more orgasms, he then announced he was done and had other things to do. It occurred to me that i should perhaps tell him, “NO, i didn’t say you were done yet so NO, you are not done until i say you are.” But i didn’t. i just said ok. i mean, i was happy and relaxed and wanted to just enjoy those feelings anyway.

As well, i found myself debating about the line of Dominant to a sub or Dominant to a slave. He never agreed to be my slave. And i had just orgasmed 3 X’s too. And he was already being very submissive overall anyway. And the day was still quite young. In other words, i second guessed myself.

This got me to thinking about how often does a Dom second guess themselves? It’s easy to be the confident, bold, commanding Dom in the movies and/or books, but probably not so easy in real life. At least not easy all the time for sure. Maybe some times and in certain situations, but ALL the time??

With that, David went to get his shoes and socks and when i asked him where he was going, he said to the store. i had commented about 2 days prior that some of our lightbulbs around the house were burned out. And i had politely and with proper submissiveness asked if he could get those changed out soon. He was going to buy more bulbs “in order to please” me.

When he returned, he did just that. He pleased me by getting the bulbs all switched out, without me having to remind, nag, ask twice, comment or say a word at all. While it made me happy, it kinda stole my thunder. i wasn’t able to be this imposing Dom telling him what he needed to do and on and on.

Which made me think about how a good sub should do these things and it does make the Dom happy without the Dim having to be imposing or forceful or exerting their power. But how often as a sub had i accused (even in my mind) David of not giving me directives? i have often thought about how he doesn’t tell me enough about what to do or how to make him happy, so i have accused him of not being “Dom-enough.” When in reality, i am likely doing the things that make him happy without him having to tell me, which is even better because a good sub should be in tune with her Dom without having to (always) be told. Most subs do things for their Dom without being told, because they know it pleases them. They don’t need this “all powerful” Dom barking orders at them in order for them to be a good sub.

The day went on like this where many of my honey-do’s were just “done”. And for dinner, he made my favorite meal, pork chops with rice and gravy. (Plus he made cabbage and black eyed peas…. which is a Southern tradition to eat these on New Years to bring about good fortune for the coming year. The more you eat, the more good fortune becomes you. Here’s a great article i found on it: Black Eyed Peas Bring Good Fortune.)

So i had a day that felt like my birthday….. i got many honey do’s done, i got my favorite meal cooked, and orgasmed many times over.

All in all, i think David was probably a better sub than i expected him to be, and i was not as good a Dom as he was a sub. Which also got me to thinking about when a sub is good, does it cause their Dom to think they might not “be enough”? Or as good? i realized the psyche of a Dom may be more fragile than i ever imagined. Or maybe it was just my psyche as a Dom, because it became more and more obvious as the day went on that i am NOT his Dom. Either way, i should praise his Dom-efforts and thank him for taking on a leadership role more often. It’s not always as easy as it seems and praise for good work and responsibilities assumed should be commended.

i will say i didn’t get to spank him, which is one thing i really wanted to do. i only wanted to in order to be able to brag and to say i did. To be able to say, “This is what it feels like.” But he wasn’t ever “bad” to deserve it. Near the end of the day, i told him i wanted to spank him “just because.” In a calm and flat tone, he said, “just remember, tomorrow I am back in charge. So I will submit to it because I said I would, but you may well regret that tomorrow.” So no, i didn’t spank him.

And that got me to thinking one last thought about my Dom, he never just does stuff to me (like spank) just because he can. He never needs to make me feel less so he can be more, which is essentially what i wanted to do and why i wanted to spank him.

In the end, i learned a lot about him and myself. i ultimately learned that he is my Dom and i know it.

While i’m quite sure i could top someone else, i know it’s not him who i can dominate. That’s ok, i learned SO much about the dynamic that i never really thought about before. i learned about things from his (possible) perspective as my Dom and i learned more about myself as his submissive in the process too.

It was an interesting experiment, but i doubt i’ll ever do that again. Unless he told me to, which is to say he would have to Dominate me to tell his Submissive to switch to be his Dominant. And i haven’t a clue why he would ever want to do that, because we don’t need to turn over the apple cart. Ever.

i happen to like the apple cart exactly where and how it is, and let’s just enjoy the apples exactly how they are, without worms, too!

So today, when he wakes up, i will greet him with a “Good morning SIR” and all will be upright and good in my world once more.

Welcome to 2021 where some things changed but most did not!

Hugs,

Marie

166 – Giving

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 166 – Giving

i follow many other bloggers and read their posts (just about) daily. One such blogger is SubMissy. She has an amazing site and she writes so very well, which is very inspiring. She also does blog post prompts to which i am going to now participate in….

CURRENT PROMPT IS……

This month is all about giving. All good relationships are based on give and take, so how does giving work in your dynamic? Or why not focus on what you have done this season to make giving a priority? How does giving work with your headspace and where does giving and receiving fit for you?

So here’s my post about GIVING.

We have all heard ……IT IS BETTER TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE …. and i wholeheartedly disagree.

Yep, i am writing about GIVING and yet, i disagree with one of the most well-known phrases about it. The reason why i disagree is, in my opinion, really rather basic.

IF WE ALL BUSY GIVING, THEN WHO IS RECEIVING? In order to allow someone to give, someone else has to (graciously and kindly) receive it.

i would prefer the phrase to instead to be something like, “GIVING AND RECEIVING IS PERFECTLY DONE WHEN IT IS A PERFECTLY COMPLETE CIRCLE.”

All to often, when we give to people, you hear the other one saying things back to you that sound like:

1) “oh thank you, but I can’t possibly accept this.” or

2) “You shouldn’t have” or

3) “But I didn’t get you anything” or

4) “I feel like your charity case”

i could go on, but i think these are prime examples of things that i have heard and probably even said at some point in my lifetime.

The trouble with all these is that if i want to give you something…. i needyou to accept it. With grace and thankfulness, not some awkward and strange reluctance or even flat out refusal (#1 above).

i love to give. But it takes an open and accepting and gracious person to receive those gifts in return to have us both feel good about it.

i give to people out of love. i often think, “i have more than i need, and their need is greater than mine at this time, so i want to give this to them.”

And frequently i have heard, “I’m not a charity case.” (#4 above) said back to me. It becomes awkward then. i typically say something like, “i didn’t mean to insult you” or “it’s just my way of helping.” And once i even said, “it’s better to give than to receive.” She said, “oh so now you are giving to me so you can feel better about yourself?” Uhmmmmmm. No.

Now neither the giver nor the receiver is feeling good about it, and honestly, quite the opposite has occurred! The negativity has now overtaken the entire situation. What started as something good, has turned sour in a hurry. All because there was a receiving heart to accept the gift that was freely given.

In my marriage though, we have a healthy give-receive relationship. i think most people think that a D/s relationship is all about the submissive giving of herself physically, mentally, financially, and the Dominant would be receiving of it all. While that’s substantially true, it works in reverse too. Sometimes i think most people wouldn’t really think about our Dominant as the giver also, but they are. And for him to give to me, i have to receive it with grace and thanks in order to complete the circle.

So i kind of want to turn this prompt inside out and talk about how my Sir gives to me and my responses to him. At least that’s where i start, but i end up with me giving too! You’ll see. 😉

PHYSICAL GIVING

My husband cooks and i clean. i NEVER COOK. And we are both quite happy with this arrangement. Neither of us really ever expects the other to do what we aren’t good at and we are grateful for the skills and gifts we have to offer the other.

But cooking isn’t the only gift he regularly gives me. Yes, he gives me spankings. Regularly. If you read my blog, it is chopped full of stories of punishment spankings and maintenance spankings in order to maintain our dynamic. Domestic Discipline (DD) is alive and well in our relationship. By intention design.

In other posts, i have also said numerous times, “i do not like to be spanked.” And it is true. But i accept it, in part because i see it as a gift from David.

He has taken his time and physical energy, to spank me. It is (one of) his gifts of love to me, along with his amazing chef-like skills too. He does it (a spanking) with love in his heart and the ultimate goal of guiding me in the way we want our marriage to go. To keep us on track and to keep doing good.

He cares about our marriage and me enough to give me spankings.

But how can he give me spankings if i don’t accept it with grace and thankfulness? It wouldn’t work at all. Can you imagine me saying, “oh you really shouldn’t have. I can’t accept this.” Or better, “But I didn’t get you one.” ??

Giving simply doesn’t work without someone else receiving. And preferably receiving with a grateful and thankful heart. So i receive with a thankful heart.

When we are done with the spanking, every time he stands me upright and hugs and kisses on me. And he tells me how much he loves me. He gives me hugs and kisses at the end of giving me a spanking.

He has never made me thank him, but i typically do. i want him to know that while this was a physical gift that i may not have wanted, i know he does it because he does indeed love me. And i agreed long ago to accept it openly and lovingly. So i thank him in order to give him reassurance that this gift he’s given is accepted with a loving heart in return.

*** Did you see what i just did there? i said, “i thank him in order to GIVE Him reassurance” about his gift to me. So in the mere act of receiving, the giving has now been turned back inside-right by me giving him something too.

He doesn’t seek my thanks, but he receives it with grace and pride too. It creates in him a feeling of pride and appreciation when i give him reassurances of my willingness to accept the gift he’s given me.

So ultimately a grateful receiving heart ends up turning into a gracious giving heart, creating a full and complete and perfect circle of giving!

Okay, yes, he also gives me physical/tangible/ real gifts. And i do my very best to thank him for all of them, as he does in reverse. And of course, this works in the perfect circle too.

One of the gifts i gave him for Christmas was a set of canes. We have never owned any canes so this will be a new experience for us both. We have talked about it, but neither of us has gifted the other with a cane, until now.

He finds these gifts oddly strange of me to give. He asks me, “Why would you give me a gift of something that will bring about the very thing (a spanking) that you tell me you don’t want to have?”

My answer is simple, “Because you love me enough to guide me and i accept these spankings as a reminder of who we are together. We grow together in our DD relationship with reinforcement of what we know works.”

And it’s true.

That’s when he gave me a devilish looking grin and said, “I can’t wait for Friday’s Maintenance now!”

MENTAL GIVING

While he is physically giving me a spanking, i am mentally giving him my submissive heart, mind, and soul.

A spanking with a paddle stings. It is maybe best described like a bee sting or a needle prick. It hurts, but on,y for a split second and it leaves behind a heat that is felt for awhile thereafter. And that’s just one swat, which a spanking never is. As the swats continue, the sting builds as well as the heat it generates to.

From the very start, i have to tell myself to relax and accept this gift he is giving. i mentally pray before we start as i wait for him to come into the room and that prayer typically shows something like, “Lord help me to accept this spanking with grace and understanding that it ultimately comes from his guidance of me, through your guidance of him. Please Lord give him the confidence and strength to lead our family and me especially in the ways you want us to go.”

At some point during a spanking endorphins release and i actually do start to accept with a thankful heart each swat he delivers. It starts to feel good. My mind relaxes and it brings me into the best receiving heart and mind possible. My thoughts move from, “But i didn’t get you anything” to “Please never stopgivingme your all!”

GIVING AND RECEIVING IS PERFECT ONLY WHEN IT IS A PERFECTLY COMPLETE CIRCLE

So maybe you can see that while maybe the giving part is the start of the circle, it also requires a receiving part. And by receding the gift, you are simultaneously giving your thanks. And that original giving person is also receiving your praise and graciousness. The circle is complete.

No one is ever JUST giving or receiving. It has to be a complete and perfect circle for it all to work. You have to give AND receive… always.

If you are guilty of saying these things that I mentioned above…. STOP. Instead, say something like:

1) “oh wow, I’m so grateful for your kindness.” or

2) “This is so amazing.” or just a simple…

3) “THANK YOU!” Is always perfect too.

And genuinely mean it, from a truly receiving heart!

(Oh and final thoughts on this day…… as we say goodbye to 2020, this year was a gift….. yes, this year has been incredibly hard but it is a gift to be alive, to have friends to miss, to be thankful for the times we can and eventually will be back together, and an opportunity to have a receiving heart for better times ahead with enormous thankfulness!)

Hugs,

Marie

164 – Merry RED-ASS Christmas

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 164 – Merry RED-ASS Christmas

i pray you all had an amazing day being surrounded by love one family and our Lord Jesus Christ. Did you receive many great gifts?

i got a new Keurig coffee pot and couldn’t be happier! Tomorrow’s coffee will be super amazing!

What i didn’t do right today though was my attitude. (In my defense, i think it was justified to be upset…. just not to have handled it the way i did!). i got quite upset with Sir earlier this evening and let him know how “rude and inconsiderate” he was.

My family had been over to our house for the day and as she was packing up to leave when David put on his shoes and left for a walk. We NEVER leave our house without telling one another (for any reason), and when he left i had no idea. Add to that, the fact that He/i have been walking together as of late, so W-H-Y he would just go and leave without telling me… or inviting me to go along upset me greatly!

He was either being rude … or inconsiderate… or flat out didn’t even think about me. No matter the case, i had my feelings hurt.

And while he was gone, i texted him and said as much. To which i received a text back that said, “you and I can go walking together when I return from this one.” i felt that was a consolation prize so I texted ONE word…

WHATEVER!

That’s when he texted back. “ASSUME THE POSITION!”

i wrote, “FINE!”

And i went to the bedroom, got naked, and bent over the bed. i typically pray for the Lord to give me strength, to give me the submissive heart He wants me to have, and for the Lord to speak to David’s heart to lead our family too.

But not today. Today i was seething mad. i had half a mind to not even go Assume the Position. i started to just ignore that directive and when he got home, i was going to say, “i was doing the dishes” …. and while it was true, i had been emptying the dishwasher at the time, we both knew it wasn’t what i should have made a priority when i was quite clearly told to Assume The Position.

So i had debated whether or not to even do as told! i was that…. upset….. (hurt really). And i didn’t think i should have to be spanked just because i called him out on what i thought he didn’t do right. (i don’t know if i should literally say he was “wrong,” but i want to.). However, i suppose i didn’t handle my hurt feelings well what so ever either and two wrongs just do not make a right!

But… i am not stupid either. i wasn’t going to give David even more reason to spank me… for disobedience then … so… i did. i assumed the position.

So instead of praying, today i was so mad i just got even more mad and decided i would take whatever he wanted to dish out. Gladly! And never once would i call for yellow (for him to slow down) or red (for him to stop)! i was determined (to be the winner)!

And that’s when he walked in. He picked up the paddle and spanked HARD! Straight out of the gate, from the first swat to the last!

David proceeded to spank my ass H-A-R-D. It was not only hard, but also with intentional intensity. He knew and so did i that while this may be a Friday, this was NOT maintenance. This was a punishment. Unfortunately when i am mad from the start that just spawned me on to dig my heels in deep and become quite stubborn.

He spanked me until i heard myself saying, “i am nearing yellow Sir.”

To which he said, “Are you still mad?”

And i didn’t answer.

He said, “Apparently you are. And until you say ‘Yellow’, i won’t slow down. So, again, I ask, Are you still mad?”

And i squeaked out, “i don’t want to be.”

He said, “Then we need to continue!” And he smacked my ass extra hard three times in the exactly same spot! It hurt SO much!

i offered up, “YES! i am not mad. Will you please stop Sir?”

i was suddenly no longer mad, hurt, or upset. My previous negative emotions had been replaced with just a desire to have this stop. i had suddenly backed down from my stubborn, won’t-give-in thoughts. i no longer wanted to be mad and instead welcomed Sir’s authority and to just have this all end.

But he didn’t stop just then. Instead while continuing to spank me, he asked me again, “Are you mad?”

i said, “No Sir”

While still continuing to spank (quite) hard, he asked, “Are you going to apologize for being rude to me with your tone?”

i said, “Yes Sir. i am sorry Sir.”

And start was when he stopped.

He stood me up, kissed me and said, “I’m sorry, I was not aware your family was leaving and thought I’d give you time to enjoy being with them while I got a quick walk in. We could’ve avoided this disagreement and punishment had you not responded the way you did though too.”

I said, “Thank you Sir for apologizing and explaining. i am sorry too.”

That’s when he said, “Assume the Position again.”

i was confused and asked, “Why??”

He said, “Because is Friday, and we haven’t done maintenance yet.” So i did. i assumed the position for the second time in only a few short minutes!

And he spanked me about 30 or so more times, with less than half the intensity as before, but twice as fast. i more or less screamed right into the pillow nearest me so as to not yell out loud. These particular spanks were not hard really, but on top of an already spanked ass was particularly painful in a hurry!

When completed, he stood me up and kissed me again and said. “How do you feel?”

And i said, “submissive and thankful. Thankful for the leadership that you exert. And most definitely loved too!”

He touched my pussy at that point and said, “what else could make you feel loved?”

i decided to be a bit close to the edge of “acceptable” and i got a devious smile on me face… and without breaking eye contact, i laid down on the bed. Backside to the bed already, i moved backward and laid down and spread my legs wide open.

He laughed and said, “Now don’t be pushy again. While I shouldn’t reward you with this, because it’s Christmas, I’ll give you this gift…..”

And he proceeded to lick me until I orgasmed. At one point, i asked him to stick his fingers inside me and he didn’t. Instead he said, “you never said the magic word.”

i said, “Sir.”

And i felt his finger go straight inside his pussy! i moved my hips so that i was fucking his finger, while feeling his tongue against my clit. i asked if i could cum, and he (thankfully) said yes.

Now i know….. speak better to him, with respect. And use the magic word often…. and i get to cum!

So the day started well, and is ending well. i am SO happy we didn’t get into a fight on Christmas… and i got the gift of love instead.

What could be better?! How was your holiday? Did you get rewarded with a punishment that ended with an orgasm? ❤️

Hugs and Merry Christmas! 🎄🎁

Marie

163 – It’s a dildo day

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 163 – It’s a dildo day

In my last post i mentioned wearing a dildo to work.

i will tell you all about what happened….. and in the end, ask you again, “Am i a sex slave and submissive wife? Or just slave? Or just a submissive!” Where the line from sub ends and slave begins is my unanswered question at the moment.

But maybe it’s not really important what title i (or you) put on it. It just might be more important that i was following a directive from my Sir. And i was submitting…….

He said, “Bring me the inflatable dildo.”

Yes Sir. And i did.

He said, “Spread your legs.”

And i did.

And he pushed it up inside me. (i wear no panties, per his instruction from long ago. In fact, he took them away and i haven’t seen them since. i can’t wear them if i wanted to.)

He said, “Set an alarm for 60-minutes. Every hour, you will pump the bulb twice. And then report that to me in person or text.”

“Don’t miss or forget to do it, every hour. Both the pumping and the reporting.”

And he grabbed the pump bulb and squeezed it 5-times to give a start.

And off to work i went. The entire dildo fits right up inside me, but after it is squeezed many times and it inflates it becomes difficult to keep it inside. When i mentioned that to Sir, he said, “squeeze your legs tight to keep it inside.”

And that’s basically what i did. i had to or else it would have fallen out … into my pants and would’ve slid down my leg until it came out. NOT happening to me while at work!

Every hour. All day. The alarm went off, i gave two good pumps, and texted, “Another hour. 2-more pumps.”

By the day’s end, i had received 25-total pumps. The dildo was quite large. It felt fine while inside. But when i had to take it out for a restroom break, pushing it back inside was a major effort for sure! It i wasn’t going to disappoint my Sir, and i followed his instructions to the T.

And mid-way through the morning, in addition to the dildo, i received a text. It said, “Time to edge.”

i stared at it for a minute and texted back, “at work? Now?”

And he texted back, “Yes. That’s what i said.”

Thankfully i have my own office and have a birds eye view of anyone approaching, so i pushed my hand down in my pants and found my clit. i rubbed it until i almost exploded. i was at “the edge” of orgasm. And i wanted it. i wanted that orgasm.

It took everything in me to stop. But i did.

Why did i stop? Because i am a submissive (or a slave?) and i was told to edge. i was not told to orgasm. Orgasms from my body do not belong to me. i agreed long ago to never orgasm without permission. And i haven’t been given permission on this day to do anything other than go to the edge of orgasm.

i texted and said, “i have done it. But i really want to cum.”

He texted back, “Good girl. No. Do it again. Now.”

Holy crap. i did it again. It took about ONE minute and i nearly went over the edge. In fact, for a split second i actually thought i had gone over the edge (and orgasmed).

i felt panic rise in me. You see, because i am submissive, i want to please him. And had i gone over the edge, i would’ve felt badly. You’d think i would enjoy an orgasm and relish in the moment. But no, i would have no pleasure in an orgasm that is not allowed. And i wouldn’t want to see Sir’s face when i had to tell him i orgasmed without permission.

i was relieved when i knew that i had … quite literally…. gone to THE EDGE but had NOT gone over.

i told Sir all these things and he was quite pleased with me.

He said, “You will receive your reward when you are home. Now two more pumps and don’t forget to continue.”

By the end of the day, my puss was sore and stretched. But i was happy!

Upon getting home, Sir said to lay on the bed and wait for him. When he came in, he played a bit with the dildo pushing it further in and back out again. When he pulled it out fully, he commented on just how inflated it was and was impressed.

Then he put all five fingers inside me and pushed all the way to his knuckles. And pushed in and out. Then while in, he moved his fingers rapidly.

i begged him to allow me to cum. When he said no, i responded with, “Please Sir… either stop or allow me to cum… otherwise i will go over the edge without permission and i do not want to.”

He smiled and said, “Orgasm all you want.” And his fingers moved easily inside me and he felt me squeeze and release all over them! He kept going and i felt the ripple of more orgasms flow from me freely.

When he pulled out, i was exhausted.

We were both disappointed that he couldn’t get his hand all the way inside me, but we have determined his hand is simply too large. He said he will find a female suitable to do it for us, and when he does, he will take pictures. i will be ready!

i followed orders and was rewarded with multiple orgasms at my Sir’s hand… quite literally. i pleased him and he pleased me!

That all happened yesterday. Today, my puss is sore and thankfully allowed to rest. Will wait to see what tomorrow holds.

So what do you think…. submissive? Slave? Some combination of both? Or does it even matter….. i do as i am told, and i am rewarded. And when i don’t, i am punished. i happily accept both!

Hugs,

Marie