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Tag: orgasm control

261 – Forced Abstinence

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 261 – Forced Abstinence

3-days ago:

i think i am in a period of NO-ORGASMS-ALLOWED.

i say “i think,” because earlier tonight David said “no orgasms for 3-weeks,” but he said it while laughing AND he said it after doing a FORCED orgasm session. So maybe he’s just messing with me. i hope he is, but i suspect he’s not.

Let me back up and explain a bit more….

This morning i was feeling quite aroused after my shower. David was heading out to the dentist office so he had no extra time to touch, lick, fondle, or fuck me. So i asked if i could play with myself.

He said, “you can edge. But no orgasm!” And he kissed me goodbye and left.

i wasn’t sure how i felt about this because the answer was better than a no, but worse than a yes. Edging is bitter sweet. It’s a “play with yourself until you really, REALLY…. R-E-A-L-L-Y …. want to orgasm and STOP!,” kind of thing.

But now i kinda wanted to play and decided i could make the most of it. My first mistake was that i got out my favorite dildo. Should have known better really. In hindsight, i see this now but at the time, i thought i wanted to “make the most of the situation,” and thought this amazing dildo would feel amazing and that counted for something. So i used it.

And i told myself that having to stop short of orgasm would be ok.

But. It wasn’t.

i didn’t even play with myself but about 1-2 minutes, and i felt myself relax and enjoy the moment. It wasn’t even another minute and i felt the interior muscles of my pelvic floor do a sort of twitch. This was my second mistake. i recognized that as my first indication that i was “getting close,” but instead of stopping there, i kept going. i didn’t fully recognize “the edge” as being that close already though. And 20-seconds later, my pussy told me “too late!”

Ahh crap. Not good,

As i felt it coming, i pulled the dildo out of me and stopped. But it was too late. i went over the edge. And now i’d have to tell David.

So I texted him and he said, “hmm.” He uses that “word” a lot and i really don’t like it much! It says a lot, and nothing at all, all at the same time!

Well, nothing else was said about it all day long. i actually forgot about it really. Until…. We were finishing up watching a tv show and David said, “time for you to get spanked. Go prepare yourself.”

i didn’t move too quickly and he commented on that, to which i said, “i couldn’t tell how serious you are being.”

“Do I sound like I’m serious?”

“Well, i guess. But i am unsure why Sir.”

“My how quickly you forget! You orgasmed without permission. Remember?”

“Oh. Yah. That.” Forgetting was my next mistake.

“Yah. Now you remember!”

And he proceeded to spank me. He’s been itching to try out the fly swatter. He thought about using it at some point over the weekend and i kinda wonder if he was looking for an opportunity to try it out. So he did.

Won’t lie, NOT an effective implement. Maybe for fun. Or maybe if a Dom has a LOT of time on their hands to spank repeatedly for a good long time, as the build up would start to be pretty powerful but otherwise just not effective.

David recognized that and got out other implements… the crop, the leather strap, and the paddle, where he spanked me some with each. Of course, after having my butt warmed by the fly swatter, these things all stung that much more than otherwise! But i didn’t cry. It wasn’t that bad of a spanking in total and for that i was grateful.

With that we prepared for bed. And i thought all was done and good. And that was another mistake on my part. i should not have assumed!

David reached over to me and i spread my legs. He was pleased to see me naked and available to him. He proceeded to finger my clit and make me beg to orgasm. After he said yes, i enjoyed the orgasm that flooded over me. i thought we’d be done, which was again, another mistake of having another assumption.

i wanted him to stop fingering me, and let me just bask in the orgasm. But he did not. i received NO reprieve from the assault his fingers were putting on my pussy. Instead, he forced another orgasm to bubble up in a matter of just a few short minutes, to which i begged for the release but this time he said, “no, not yet!”

i cringed as i knew i wouldn’t hold the orgasm in long, and begged again. He said no, but it didn’t matter. The orgasm released of its own accord. Of course, he noticed it. Without his fingers missing a beat as they continued to fondle my clit and opening still, he said with incredulous surprise, “did you just orgasm without permission??”

i had to respond, “Yes Sir.”

i barely recovered from the second one when i felt another coming up. And it came out too! (Pun intended).

In total, i had 5-orgasms tonight! The bad thing is, only 2 were with approval.

When he finished he said, “I think that will now be 3-weeks without orgasms at all. One week for each one you took without my permission. Besides the more you get, the more you want. And the more disrespectful you get by just taking it without permission. All you had to do was ask!”

He was right. But at that exact moment, i was enjoying the subspace i found my head floating in from having 5-orgasms. So i didn’t say much of anything at all.

After i came back down a little, i asked how serious he was and he said, “well, if you’d shown a bit of remorse, I might not have held to it, but now… now I have to.”

He laughed as he spoke again to say, “going to be a lot of locked up time for you in the coming month!”

i cringed but said little.

After another 5’ish minutes, he asked me what i thought of the next 3-orgasm-free weeks to which i replied, “i can only hope you allow it to be less.”

He didn’t comment back at all. i think i will be in chastity a LOT in the next 3-weeks!

^^ all of that happened and i wrote about it 3-days ago. i just didn’t get this message posted.

i have learned he is VERY serious about three weeks. Yesterday i was busy at work and didn’t get home til later in the evening, and … well.. didn’t have time to sit and contemplate it.

But today was a a different story. Today, even at the office, i had a desire to stick my hand in my pants and rub my clit til i orgasmed. But, i didn’t. i was a good girl.

When i got home, i got naked. David is really starting to enjoy me naked .

And i got into the hot tub after heating it just a tad. And the jets hit my mound.m getting me hot and bothered.

When we came in the house, I asked if David wanted to touch me. He said, “why, so you can be more frustrated?”

He continued, “you aren’t going to orgasm for three weeks. Get used to it!”

i tried to plead my case by saying he didn’t have to keep that timeline and i could make him happy of he’d change that. Ok, maybe i was bargaining!

He wasn’t buying it though. He said, “what have you done that warrants an orgasm?”

i couldn’t think of anything really. Ugh! To which he said he would’ve gone easier on me if their was a reason. But there’s not. And we both know it. i wasn’t even too sure he would’ve gone easier even “if” there was a reason! Whatever. It is what it is too.

Then as we were lying in bed chatting and reading, me naked (per usual now) and he in his sleep shorts, he reached over and tweaked my nipples. i tested the waters once more by pulling the covers back and spreading my legs, but saying nothing.

He said, “I didn’t need that. And neither do you. You have to learn you can’t and won’t orgasm without permission. You didn’t even ask but just took what you wanted. So now I’m not granting permission for 3, or maybe 4, more weeks.”

“No. It’s not 3 MORE. You said 3 weeks already 3-days ago,” is what i blurted out.

“Are you questioning me?” And without the word SIR too!?”

Knowing i had, but where that wasn’t my intention at all, i said, “i guess so. But i just don’t want to go any longer than what you previously said. Sir.”

He calmly said, “I can change my mind anytime I want. You know that. And I’m undecided at the moment. Don’t bother counting down the days because it won’t matter.”

“Yes Sir.”

Now i was utterly and completely frustrated, rejected, and annoyed. And turned on. And wanting (needing!) him to take me, mark me, claim me as his own.

Then he said, “I think you should go put the chastity belt on. You need to wear it tonight to help you with this frustration that I suspect you are feeling now.”

Yah, i am frustrated and i am needing the belt, or i may just touch myself to relieve the pressure that’s been building as soon as i am sure he’s asleep!

But i don’t want to wear it. i want to cum. Not be forced into abstinence!

i guess he IS claiming me and marking me …. Just not in the way I want him to!

i went and put the belt on. When i asked if he wanted the key, he said, “of course. And why do your voice sound dejected?”

As i handed him the key i said, “Because i am Sir, but i will get over it.”

“Good deal,” is what i heard in response. Followed by a “good night my love, sleep well.”

While i said i would get over it, i didn’t want to. What i wanted to do was talk about this with him more.

What’s more is that i KNEW he KNEW i wasn’t done talking about it too. But that didn’t have to be said aloud because it was irrelevant and he was done. Not to mention, he probably knew i would just try to (ultimately) wear him down to where i (maybe) would get what i wanted: the belt off and to be able to orgasm!

But i also knew there wasn’t anymore to TALK about, and by saying anything more out loud would just get him irritated and/or angry as he had clearly decided the conversation was over. And angering him would lead to a fight… or more aptly it would lead to a spanking.

While he’s never spanked me with the chastity belt on, i don’t need to test him to see if he would either! i don’t expect that a spanking with the belt on would feel pleasant at all!

So.

Here i am.

In the belt.

Typing furiously with my fingers via my iPad, in the dark, in my bed, to get all my anger and frustration and annoyance and brattiness …. and … well…. whatever other negativity i am feeling and can’t even come up with the right words to describe all right here out on paper.

^^^^ and THAT was last night…….

Now it is morning and i slept terribly. i was still angry when i sat the iPad down to sleep. Despite the fact i was nearly falling asleep as i typed, and i thought i was over it, i wasn’t.

i tossed and turned all night long. When i got out of bed this morning, so did David. He doesn’t usually get up with me, but he did today. So he had to wait on his coffee, but he didn’t seem to mind.

Instead, after we were standing upright, he grabbed one of my butt cheeks and squeezed it hard while kissing me too. He doesn’t usually do that in the mornings as he’s still most,y asleep, but he did today.

Grabbing my butt cheek reminded me that he knew the belt was still on. And while he did it very lovingly, it was a reminder that the belt was needed and was serving its purpose.

i feel confident the belt will come off for the day…. But i won’t be surprised if i sleep in it again tonight!

i hope the frustration, annoyance, disappointment, anger, and (fill in the blank!!) negativity leaves me soon!

Hugs,

Marie

259 – 24-hours. Is a long time.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 259 – 24-hours. Is a long time.

In chastity. Alone. As my Sir is away from home, i am locked up. i don’t have self control. Not enough anyway. i have a propensity to play with myself, without permission when left to my own devices. But not this time.

David left this morning and is home tomorrow morning. As i dressed this morning, the belt went on. And he hid the key somewhere in our house. i can ask for it if i truly need it, and i suppose i might could possibly find it if i looked. But. i won’t. i won’t ask or search on my own. Because i can do this. i am strong enough to endure.

i need to do this.

i need to prove i can follow orders.

i need to prove i can be strong.

i can be a good girl.

As David left, he kissed me, said how much he loved me, and then said, “Tryyyy to be a good girl.”

i laughed. i rolled my eyes. i said, “it’s a bit difficult to be bad when i am locked up Sir.” i am saying “Sir” a wholeeee lot now!

He smiled and said, “I’m sure you could find a way of you wanted to. But I’m sure you don’t. Correct?”

“Correct Sir.”

So how how did it go anyway?! Glad you asked….

6:15 a.m.

i went to David and as i was naked, i stood in front of him and spread my legs. And then i said, “it’s nearly time to lock up. Do you want to touch her before you leave?”

He looked at my puss and said, “nope! Sure don’t! Be sure to bring me the keys.”

Well, i wanted to pout. And beg. But i didn’t. Thankfully! Instead, i was a good girl and went to shower, dress, and lock up. Tight. Even though he hasn’t touched her in 2-full days now, i was determined to be good.

7:00 am

While tucked snuggly into place under her belt, i grabbed the lock and snapped it in place. With that, i handed David the key. He smiled and thanked me for being a good girl and asked if i am ready for this. i responded truthfully, “yes…and no…Sir.” Gotta get the “Sir” in there now too!

He then said, “go wait for me in the car.” He was hiding the key from my sight.

And i drove him to the airport. We talked about mundane things. Anything BUT the steel between my legs!

Meanwhile ALL i could think about is the next 24-hours…. How will i make this happen? If i ask for the key early, will that be disappointing for me or him or both?! The belt is already a bit chafing… maybe it’s just not positioned correctly… or maybe I just haven’t settled into the feeling of it yet…. So seriously, how will i make it 24-full hours like this…. how i wanted to rip the belt off and be a normal person. i know i am NOT normal. Is that a bad thing though?!

After dropping him at the airport, i drove to my office. As i drove, all these wild thoughts were in my head about this belt. That’s when my free hand wandered down into my pants. i knew i couldn’t touch myself for real but i had a desire to touch the metal with my bare hand. i wanted to touch it and see just how “real” this 24-hours of restricted access feels like.

And i worked to reposition it to a less chafing position. It didn’t move though, at least not much anyway. It’s not supposed to really. That’s the whole point. Restricted access means it won’t move from the full coverage it provides!

Then i pressed straight onto the plate itself. i wanted to know more about how my pussy would feel inside the plate if it felt pressed from the outside. No, i hadn’t really done that when i have worn it previously.

In times before, i respected (or feared) the belt enough too much to even try to see if i could get a stimulant from the outside. But this time is different. This time feels more like an intimate and close friend. And as close as we are, i need to know your friendliness meter. This time i am wearing this for a full 24-hours and i wanted to know if i could stimulate (okay, fine …call it what it is, “masturbate”) myself at all, and of so, how would it feel.

This was a no-go. While i could feel pressure on the outer edges of the plate, where the edge of the belt meets my thighs, it was nowhere near my pussy opening or clit! They felt absolutely zero. Nothing. Nada. As far as my pussy was concerned, there wasn’t anything but darkness in her world! She saw no light, heard no sound, and felt no pressure.

i couldn’t decide if i was pleased about this or not. But i did accept chastity willingly, heck i asked for it! So i suppose in the sense this is exactly what I need and asked for… i like it. It’s effective! And the belt may be close and intimate, but she has zero desire to be my friend.

8:00 a.m.

i arrive at work after a bit. i wonder if anyone can tell i am different today. i know they can’t see anything through my clothes as the belt is fully covered and inconspicuous. But can they see the difference in my demeanor? No, i am sure they can’t see that either, to which i am really kinda disappointed actually! i feel different, so shouldn’t they see how different i am? No, they don’t notice.

But let’s face it, people are always preoccupied to notice things like a chastity belt on their coworker which is causing her to talk, walk, and act just a bit differently today. Of course, i couldn’t tell you anything about any of them either. Why? Because i was too preoccupied trying to look normal and to see if they notice i am not acting normal. There’s the word “normal” again.

In fact, i am really rather distracted at work. i am comfortable in my chair with the belt on, but will it stay that comfortable when i stand up? Maybe i should practice doing that (standing and sitting) now so if i have to do it later in front of someone else, i will know if it will make noise at the wrong time, or squeeze my labia to painful moments, or something else i haven’t even thought of too.

Never mind… i have to focus and get work done already!

10:00 a.m.

i am quite thankful i have very few scheduled meetings today. i can hide out in my office and be less conspicuous. At least i hope that’s what happens.

But i have to pee. Oh here we go!

10:30 a.m.

Oh geez. i really have to use the bathroom now. i have held it in for 30-minutes but that’s the best i can do. i have to do this. In the belt. Okay, here we go.

There are holes in the belt shield for this purpose, but it feels so humiliating. It feels like i am peeing in my clothes, like a little kid or something. All of which is weird, so i have to truly concentrate on relaxing my muscles and just let it flow.

And when it does, while it ends up where it should in the toilet, it’s not a single stream but a spread out all over stream. Causing a bit of a question if there’s still urine trapped between my labia folds and the belt.

So now i have to wipe. As good as possibly can be done anyway. And i wipe some more. And for good measure, I wipe more. i hold the belt out as far as possible with one hand, suck in my gut, and try to press paper in there to soak up the urine. i think urine is gross anyway, so i want to be as clean and dry as possible, which takes a lot of effort!

Okay, that accomplished, won’t lie.. that was worse in my head than in reality. So, back to work now.

11:30 a.m.

Time for lunch. Together with 4-coworkers, we go out to a Mexican restaurant together. While I could care less about the strangers, i worry if may coworkers can hear the metal plate clanging around as i walk. i wonder if getting in and out of their car together will be the obvious defining moment to give away the fact that i am different today. i watch their moves to see if they hear it, tune in to it, or wonder why it’s coming from my torso! Nothing.

This is all good, right?

12:30 p.m.

Back at the office and back at my desk. And seriously, time to be normal and just get some work done already!

But i feel like i want to tell someone about my belt. i want someone to see. i want to see the shock on their face and me giggle at it. But that’s not normal. i wouldn’t show my coworkers my underwear, so why would i show them this steel belt?!

Because now David’s plane has landed, i decide to tell David about this “desire” to show off. The response i got back was, “hmm.” Not what i was expecting really. i thought he would chastise me (get that pun there!? Lol) for wanting to show off my chastity belt! No matter, the “hmm” was likely all i really needed, and he didn’t have to rub it in. i knew that was ultimately what he thought!

1:30 p.m.

Now i am finally into a groove for work productivity. i have accomplished some things and need to keep going.

The belt isn’t chafing at all now. i wonder if my earlier thoughts of the chafing were just my body needing to settle into the feelings of being pressed upon by the metal.

If the rest of the afternoon continues like this, i will definitely get all the way to tomorrow morning without having to ask for the key! i won’t disappoint Sir or myself! Now i am hopeful. And determined too.

2:30 p.m.

Oh here we go back to the bathroom again. Alright, i can do this. i already did it once today, not to mention it had done it in the belt before too.

No idea why i am such a head case about this. This time, i even go to another floor in my building. i noticed the lock made some noise as i pulled my pants down last time. If a coworker is in the bathroom at the same time, they would notice it and it’s a 2-person stall bathroom. They would know it was coming from me.

Suddenly it occurs to me that I have gone from wanting them to notice, to wanting to show it off, to now not wanting anyone to know at all.

Them NOT knowing is really the right answer.

On the other floor and in the bathroom, this time it went even easier than last time. Practice makes perfect. Do i want to be perfect at this? To be perfect means i am doing this a lot, meaning i am wearing the belt a lot. Yes, i want this! This is good for me!

3:30 p.m.

Never even saw the clock in this hour. That’s a good thing.

This belt has become my new-normal. And that’s a good thing too!

4:30 p.m.

Another easy and productive hour! Yah. i got this.

i am confident now i can make it to tomorrow. i see nothing standing in my way. i AM A CHASTITY GIRL!

But i am not even officially to 12-hours yet and a lot of time still in front of me!

5:30 p.m.

Time to go to a fast dinner with my sister. i know she won’t notice or see my belt in any way. i have gotten used to standing, walking, sitting in it now. And i am accepting of it as i have figured out how to manage with it physically and mentally too, so there’s no chance of me acting weird either.

It was a pleasant meal. We talked about mundane things, which is how it should be.

6:30 p.m.

It is Wednesday. Every good (Southern Baptist) girl goes to church on Wednesday night for an hour of bible study and to commune with like-minded people.

i am in a bible study that just kicked off last week. But not only am i in it, i lead it. i am standing in the front of the “class” for ladies bible study, while walking around, with them sitting down.

Their eyes are level with my crotch. i wonder if anyone has laser beam vision to see straight through my pants to the metal i am wearing. But that would be a super hero move, and while still pretty awesome, no one in this room is a super hero, at least that i know of anyway.

Maybe i am a super hero, with my own plate shield to protect me from all kinds of evil, real or perceived. My most intimate part is under full protection. From what? From myself. And everyone else too!

7:30 p.m.

i drive home. After getting home, i text David to let him know i am home and thinking of him. And i get naked.

i exchange some banter with Sir by saying, “maybe i need to have the key now to unlock this belt and be fully naked now.”

He responds with, “not a chance! You can ask, but you won’t get it. You are as naked now as you are going to get.”

“But then what if i need the key?! How would you know how desperately i need it?”

“You won’t.”

“But how will you know that Sir?” (forgot the “Sir” with previous texts. Not sure if he noticed! Hope not for my sake.)

“Because you made it this far without asking. Besides you are just stubborn enough that you won’t ask.”

“You are probably correct Sir.”

“Probably???”

“Ok, i know you are correct, but i don’t want to admit i am that stubborn.”

“Hmm”. (That little word is really multipurpose.)

8:30 p.m.

As i was doing little things around the house like picking up/cleaning, watching tv, playing ball with the dog, i opened a drawer to put something away.

There lays the key.

To my belt.

Right there.

Do i tell David i found it? He will think i went looking for it. But i can explain. But i didn’t do anything wrong to need to report ether. Does it matter that i found it if i don’t touch it, and definitely not use it?

Just shut the drawer and pretend i never saw it.

But i can’t unsee it.

Besides, i am getting tired of this belt now too. It’s not so friendly at all anymore, not that it was any too friend,y from the start anyway! But now the excitement of it has definitely worn off. i could escape and sleep well and no one would have to know.

But i would know.

Just shut the drawer and walk away!

9:00 p.m.

Time to use the bathroom again. Damn bladder.

i can just go get the key, unlock myself, use the toilet, and relock back. That would make the bathroom experience so much easier and better. And i could ensure a good wipe. That would help me sleep better, knowing i am clean under this belt.

But it wasn’t supposed to happen that way. Forget about the key already!

Damn key.

i am a good girl. i am a good girl. Keep telling myself that.

And i am. And i did. And i left the key in its place and used the bathroom in the belt.

Damn belt.

10:00 p.m.

“Go lay down and read. Or write in the blog. Or play a stupid game on your iPad. Hell, go to sleep. But forget about that damn key!”

“You are nearly to the morning. All you have to do now is sleep. And be a good girl.” is what i told myself.

And that’s what i did.

i put a pillow between my legs as i always do, to help give me a straight back as i lay on my side (per chiropractor, this is helpful and i am now used to it.)

It feels good between my legs. i want to masturbate. Maybe if i hump the pillow a little it will help.

Damn pillow.

Humping it does nothing good. In fact, it probably made it worse as the frustration is no seriously amped up to a higher notch!

Now i just need to orgasm that much more, without any ability to do anything about it. No orgasm for me.

Damn key.

i am a good girl, i am a good girl, I AM A GOOD GIRL!!!

Turn over and go to sleep already! And i did.

Seriously… i AM a good girl, despite the damn key!

5:30 a.m.

i slept really good. i don’t remember waking up one time, turning over, dreaming, nothing. i feel quite relaxed now.

And only about 2’ish more hours and my Sir will be home and the belt will come off.

i even use the restroom without even thinking twice. AND without being unlocked. Who cares about the damn key, because I AM A GOOD GIRL!

6:30 a.m.

He has landed. He’s taking an Uber home.

Woo hoo! Can’t wait to see him. Oh how i miss him when he’s gone. While i have been hyper focused on the belt, i have an even more interest in seeing him, my Sir!

7:30 a.m.

He’s home! i greet him with the biggest smile and kiss. Naked. Except of course, for the belt.

He says, “Wow. I love this greeting! This is wonderful. Is this for spending 24-hours all locked up??”

“i am just happy to see you Sir.”

“I can tell. But I have been gone for 24-hours before and never gotten this wonderful of a welcome home. I think it’s the belt that’s done this.”

“i won’t lie Sir, it has made me focus the last 24-(plus) hours. It is incredibly effective.”

“I should say so. Make no mistake, we will be using it more now that I witness it’s effects on your demeanor.” (Someone noticed the change in me. Just not my co-workers. And that’s ok, as the only person i truly care to notice is my Sir!)

“Good thing the fitted belt is coming soon Sir. It will probably be more effective than this one.”

“Perfect. I’m so proud of you for being obedient and wearing this belt for the duration. I wasn’t sure you would or could. But now it’s time to get you out of this and give you the reward you’ve earned!”

Yippie for me!

i am now off here… and out of the belt …and getting to orgasm in a big way! i wonder how soon it is until Sir has another out-of-town trip!?

Hugs,

Marie

252 – Good girl, with Bad habits!

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 252 – Good girl, with Bad habits!

You may have noticed that quite a lot of our dynamic lately seems to be revolving around orgasm control. It’s not all we do, but it is a great motivator for me too.

In fact, you’ve heard the phrase, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” In that same vein, i’d say “the way to my heart is through orgasm denial.” i see it as a challenge to comply, to bend, be vulnerable, and to ultimately submit! i have to have self-control, determination, and use mind-over-matter to make good choices all the time.

Despite what may seem true, i have been surprised at how much of a positive motivator the chastity belt has become for me too. When it is on, i have no ability to stimulate myself let alone orgasm. Yet, i am constantly aware of the belt and constantly in a low state of arousal too. But when it’s off is the surprising part actually. i thought i would attack my clit the second it was vulnerable and open to the fresh air, but it is quite the opposite! The belt comes off, and i think, “it is a privilege to have the belt off. This puss is not yours to touch, by your own volition. You made a voluntary consensual choice! So respect those choices and don’t touch!”

And i don’t. At least for awhile anyway.

Then there are days like today….

i’m not entirely sure what prompted me to do so, but in the middle of the day, i texted David, “i know you know i am sexually turned on… a lot. What you may/may not realize is that i am intensely motivated by sexual acts, with the hope (but not expectation) of ending with an orgasm,”

i continued, “Over the years you’ve wanted me to be more competitive. When it comes to the quest to get an authorized orgasm, i am very competitive. i’ll do nearly anything you ask, if you’ll (possibly) reward me with an orgasm. Sir, i am equally turned on by the denial as the allowance, because i know it’s intentional on your part when you deny or allow me to orgasm. Of course, make no mistake, i love to orgasm, especially at your cock, tongue, or hand… in that order too!”

And i waited for a response.

i got a “Good! And yes, I already knew much of that, which is why you don’t get to orgasm as much as you’d like, but maybe now it will be even less.”

And then he went out of town for tonight. Just one night. He’s back tomorrow.

Then tonight i got a text saying, “you’ve been very good lately. I will allow you to masturbate and orgasm tonight if you want. But just one orgasm.”

“Oh yes of course i want! Thank you Sir! Yea for me!”

And i started to play. And i orgasmed really fast. Too fast really. i was bummed at how fast it happened. i had already talked to myself about how nice and slow i wanted to go, to be able to enjoy the moment and relax into it. But, it didn’t happen that way. Okay, whatever, it was what it was. So i just was grateful for the one and tried to ignore the annoyance i was feeling, and set about watching tv.

But then the tv show wasn’t that great, and my mind began to think. i thought about how he never said i couldn’t play with myself more than once, only that i couldn’t orgasm more than once.

While i had wanted to go slow and enjoy myself upfront and because i usually struggle to get myself to orgasm more than once in such short periods (David can pull as many orgasms from me in as short of a period as he ever desires!), i could play with myself AFTER instead of BEFORE the single permitted orgasm. While playing AFTER isn’t quite as anticipatory as it would have been (and the grand finale ending will be different), i could do this instead!

i can fondle and love on myself, inside and out, maybe learn how to get myself to the edge after one orgasm, and well, have fun this way too. All while never orgasming the second time.

No problem, challenge accepted! i got this! So i grabbed my favorite dildo and set about having fun.

Unfortunately it didn’t take long before i was getting so close to the edge, that even i was surprising myself.

It wasn’t much longer and i heard my head screaming, “S-T-O-P! Don’t go over! Don’t allow yourself this indulgence!” The problem was i didn’t want to stop, but i did want to be good!

So now an internal battle began….

My left hand kept moving the dildo in and out, while my right hand kept rubbing on my clit. My head said, “Just a little bit more…. Besides, this was a challenge and you can stop before you go over that edge. Push that ‘edge’ further out!”

Then my head also told me, “this is so good. Keep going! It will be alright. You got this!”

And i kept going. And going.

And then i suddenly recognized that desire inside me building. The one that becomes determined to get what i want. i wanted to keep going….. and going…. right over that edge. i knew i simply needed to go over that edge. Or at least i told myself that. i thought, “why stop now? Just GO over the edge already! Take this!”

And i did.

It felt SO good! i was feeling those endorphins course through me. It did indeed feel so damn good.

And then the high subsided and the moment of realization hit. i suddenly became sober in the reality of the moment and the question of “what have i done?!” was in my head.

i thought a minute… and the next question came into my head.….“Do i HAVE to tell David?”

And the immediate answer of, “YES, of course you have to!” came right back too.

And just like that my good and bad side both started to fight saying, “No you don’t have to tell him. He never has to know.”

“But i will know.”

“It’s your body! You can reward yourself if you need it. Besides, we didn’t even think this could actually happen. You so rarely ever have a second orgasm at your own hand in quick succession.”

“But i will know.”

“And if you tell him, you’ll likely have a red bottom shortly after he is home.”

“Yes, true. But i will know.”

“And when the permanent/fitted chastity belt finally comes in, the one you can wear 24/7 if he wants you to, it will likely be glued on your puss! Then you won’t get to touch it at all!”

“Also true. But i will know. And we have an honest relationship. i knew not to do this, and i just didn’t care. Now i have to own my situation and tell him!”

So i texted him and told him.

The response i got back was, “hmm.”

i think i may regret this decision by this time tomorrow! Or maybe i already regret it now!

Hugs,

Marie

251 – Permission granted. But only to drink.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 251 – Permission granted. But only to drink.

i have to ask permission to drink.

Why? Because i get incredibly horny when i drink.

i lose all inhibitions and go after what i want. i become determined to get it too. It’s the only time i truly become aggressive. Not really in a bad way, but rather a determined way. i know what i want, i know how to get it, and i go get it!

And that doesn’t always sit so well with David. Sometimes it does please him, as he gets his cock ridden like the slut i am! But sometimes… he’s just not feeling it! So… i have to ask to drink..because why start something he may not want to finish (or deal with me being pushy about it).

Tonight, i asked to drink some red wine. It’s our favorite. David has collected bottles for a few years now, and we have a LOT of wine in our house.

After getting permission, i opened a bottle. i drank almost half of it, which was MORE than enough! i needed his cock inside me!

i sat on one couch, with my Sir on the next. He was almost laying on the couch. i saw myself stripping my clothes off. Seductively but quickly.

i walked over to him, pulled his cock out of his shorts, and sucked him hard. He continued to watch tv and allowed me to sexually turn him on. That’s when i turned myself perpendicular to him, stood on the floor and leaned backwards, like sitting in a chair. i lowered myself down to sit down on his cock. His focus on the tv never waivers. The entire time, while i impaled myself on his cock, he just kept watching tv. He felt SO damn good inside my wet cunt!

And that’s when i felt his hand move up and grab and squeeze my boob tight and hard. It was enough to encourage me to keep going!

i used my thigh muscles to pull myself up and then just drop straight down again right onto his cock. It went deep inside me. As deep as he could possibly be, so that i felt every centimeter filling me up whole! i started to move up slowly, and the down was fast and hard! i wanted to feel his cock deep . i wanted to have him fill me up. And i wanted it to hurt! There was no way it could hurt enough to offset the exquisites pleasure i was simultaneously feeling!

The only thing i now needed….. and what i really wanted was to cum …. all over that cock of my Sir. i wanted it slick with my juice. Although i really didn’t care if he orgasmed, as this was about me getting myself off with his cock instead of a stupid dildo. He was going to feel it too obviously, which made it even better yet, but this was about me. And i knew it too!

i was really just fucking myself using his cock to get there. i went faster up and harder down, with every thrust of my hips. i went as fast as i could! It made my boobs flip up and down in the process. They were flipping so much, it hurt my tits too. i didn’t care! A little bit more pain is good for me! i need to feel the pain to get the pleasure to be just that much bigger too.

i didn’t dare look at him as his eyes alone may tell me he isn’t happy i just took it upon myself to fuck him. Or am i fucking myself? i don’t even know anymore. But does it even matter? As long as he is enjoying it enough that he doesn’t stop me. i have to go faster. It may end soon, but I have to get to that O!

i am grinding hard on him now. Nothing can stop me. i am so fucking close to a huge orgasm. i know what i want and i know how to get it! A few… more… thrusts and i am there! i am exactly where i want to be….. a slut fucking her Sir’s cock and enjoying it to the fullest.

Screech…… stop.

And that’s when i have to tell you …. This is ALL a figment of my imagination, all except for the wine that it. i was drinking and i was horny as hell, and i wanted his cock in my pussy.

But i KNOW better than to assume i can go over and take what i want. That’s quite literally NEVER going to happen! If i tried to fuck my Sir like that, even “if” he would like it and even”if” i got his cock hard and even “if” i did all the work, he wouldn’t allow it to happen! If for no other reason, he would have to prove that he is in charge and he’d have to put me back in my place so he would slap my ass and make me stop right then and there. i doubt I would even get his cock hard, let alone impaling my needy cunt!

i am submissive and he is Dominant. i don’t get to take what i want. Ever. Especially when it has to do with his cock and my orgasm! That’s fucking absurd!

Fuck. i want to be fucked! i want to do all the work and he just has to sit back and allow it to happen! But… i know he won’t allow it, so i won’t feel it. And i won’t attempt it. i have zero desire to be punished, only rewarded!

After i wrote all this, David & i started to head to bed. As we were standing in the bathroom, fully clothed and i started to brush my teeth he said, “the answer is no!”

i found it amusing as i hadn’t said a word but with that, i said, “i didn’t know you knew there was a question Sir.”

He said, “of course I knew.” Neither of us actually verbalized the question but both of us knew…. The question was, “can i cum please Sir?” i mean, i wassss drinking after all!

After brushing my teeth, i decided to sleep naked. Sometimes i do that, but most of the time i don’t. He laughed and said, “you think you can do that with control? I did just say NO.”

And with that, i decided to tell him about what i thought about and wrote to you above. i didn’t tell him my assumption of how it would have really gone… with him stopping me and possibly whipping my ass even. i just told him about the sexy parts! And about me jumping on top of him. And he scoffed and said, “yeah, right. I wouldn’t have allowed that.” i guess i was right! Do i know my Sir or what?

i halfway wondered what it would take for him to order me in the belt. He didn’t order it though. Not sure if that’s good or bad. Like i said before, it’s a life vest… but it’s also a security blanket.

With that, he turned off the light and said goodnight. He left me hanging. Wet and horny and nowhere to go! Maybe tomorrow.

Hugs,

Marie

250 – Please Sir, may i have another?

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 250 – Please Sir, may i have another?

“NO! You may NOT. In fact, your only choices are chastity belt or self control. Which do you think it should be?” My Sir asked me tonight after he touched his beautiful pussy with his hands and let me cum.

This was after he arrived home last night and did NOT touch me or allow me to orgasm. i did not make it the entire time he was gone in chastity, but he was ok with that. i was allowed to take a 12-hours break, from 9p to 9a. And then from that time, until he arrived home at 8p, i was locked in tight.

And when we got home from the airport, he said, “while I’m tired and not going to touch you, you may take off the belt too.” And last night i did have self control. i was relieved to be out of the belt when i was allowed the release as it was starting to chafe a bit in a few places, and while i was disappointed no sex or sexual activity, i was still grateful he was home. And i saw the release from the belt as a privilege and a reward to be cherished. No way was i going to mess things up or disappoint him!

So tonight, i knew his day at work today was rough, so i was just trying to stay out of his way and went to our bed to watch tv where he then came in and joined me. He didn’t care one iota about the show, but he did give a lot of attention to my clit!

He pulled the covers back, exposing my pretty, clean-shaven, pussy. (He FINALLY let me shave it again yesterday. He said he had been testing me to see: 1) how long it would be before i asked to shave, 2) if i would bug him about it, 3) if i would just shave it anyway, with or without permission. When i was a good girl and didn’t do any of those things, he was pleased. So the first time i asked if he would consider letting me shave it, he said yes that i could. And i did!)

His fingers felt magical. It has been far too long since he’s touch HIs pussy! He found my clit so quickly too, where he caressed, and lightly played and even flicked at it. It wasn’t but a few short minutes (like TWO!) that i was begging to cum. He said no, and kept at it. It was another 30-seconds and i begged to cum again and he still said no. My legs started to shake out of control. i was starting to panic as i was just so close to orgasming without permission. i finally just said, “Sir, please allow me to cum or else please stop before i go over the edge.” And he said, “okay, you may cum.” And i did! Nearly on command at that point!

And just like that, he stopped. No more touching. He was done. And he said i was too.

It was then that i begged for just ONE more. He said no again. i said, “But Sir, you didn’t even penetrate me. i would really love it if even one finger would go inside.”

He said, “I’m aware that I didn’t stick my fingers, or any other part of me, inside your yang-yang.” He had never called it that, so it stuck with me.

He then continued, “I’m thinking maybe I don’t let you cum again until you can learn to squirt.” I have squirted exactly twice ever, both my accident, and it surprised even me!

i said, “i am fairly certain you’d have to penetrate me. We could practice it now if you want….”

“Nah, that’s ok. You’ve already orgasmed once now. That’s enough.”

Of course, i was hoping he’d still touch me again despite his words. So i left my legs spread and my bare pussy exposed there.

With my legs wide open and my pussy on display, i let my fingers just start to roam. i stroked his arm, down onto my thigh, up to my crotch and across the top part of my mound. When i was about to test my luck and move a slight bit further south was exactly when i heard him say, “what are you doing?”

My response was straight forward, “hoping to entice you to touch it again Sir. To have you open me up wide, stick as many of your fingers deep inside me as possible, and let my pussy cum all over you.”

He then said, “lift your hands up.” And i did. He grabbed the bed covers and pulled them up. He covered up his pussy and he said, “now put your hands down on top.” And i did.

That’s when he said, “I said I was done. That means you are too. THIS is better. Now you can’t see it and can simply distract yourself from it. Start reading, watch tv, or go to sleep, whatever you want, but don’t touch! And if you insist on pressing things any further, we will have to do some punishment.”

i really was about to start pouting or maybe even crying! i really wanted to orgasm from penetration too! In an attempt to NOT be bratty AND to show my thanks for the one orgasm i was allowed, i decided to lean over to kiss him and said, “Thank you Sir.” While i meant it fully, i think he doubted my intentions. He was just looking at me and then said, “you are welcome, but the answer is still no.”

“Please Sir, can i touch it just a little bit more and make it orgasm all on my own?!” Apparently he was right to doubt me!

That was when he said, “self control or chastity. Which will it be?”

i thought i could employ self control (surely i am able, right?), but as i started to read i felt my clit brushing against the bed sheets. i was feeling it raw and whole. It was just barely touching me, yet i felt every bit of it! And i was struggling. i told David and he said, “you really have NO self control, do you?!”

“Not much Sir.”

And he shook his head and said, “I guess it’s the belt for you for tonight.”

And i went to put it on.

So i will sleep with it on tonight. You may think this is terrible and a punishment of sorts, but that’s not how i see it at all actually. In fact, five or so minutes after it went on, David asked me, “will you be able to sleep tonight or are you too frustrated to relax?” Notice he didn’t ask if i was comfortable in the belt… or ask me if i wanted to have it off…

i thought about my answer for just a split second and answered honestly with, “Yes Sir, i will actually sleep better now with it on than with it off. i can relax knowing i am kept in check, in chastity. i am happy to be restricted and have my ability to touch myself taken away. This way, i have extra help but i will be in compliance too. This belt is like a life vest, a life saver when it is needed, and tonight i needed it.”

i surprised him with my answer. i think he thought i would see sleeping with the belt on as more of a punishment than a reward, but i truly see it as a life vest. It saved me from myself tonight, to which i am grateful!

Sometimes, we just need a little help. And that’s what i got!

Hugs,

Marie