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Tag: marriage

16 – Submit even when you aren’t “Feeling it”

i don’t know WHY i was having a “bad day”…. But i was.  Yesterday, i wasn’t “feeling it”.  i wasn’t feeling work, cooking, eating, nothing.  i just kinda wanted to be alone in my alone world.  In fact, i was feeling quite selfish overall.  i didn’t really recognize it for what it was until Sir pointed it out to me.

He said, “You are having a lot of trouble with this Submission thing today!”  And my first thought was, “No I’m not!”.  (Notice the capital “I”?? Read this post about that: https://wordpress.com/post/lovingdisciplinelife.com/69).

While i didn’t say it, it was true.  And i didn’t even realize it at the time either.

But he would be right.

So let me back up to the morning….. rewind…..  yesterday morning….

i was horny.  He knew it.  And he had to leave before me.  So he told me to masturbate.  But because we are doing Orgasm control too (see this post for more on that: https://wordpress.com/post/lovingdisciplinelife.com/95), he told me i had to “Masturbate to the edge, but DO NOT CUM, 4 x’s on repeat and THEN ask permission to cum.”

So that’s exactly what i did.  And he said i could.  And i was SO thankful.  i wouldn’t have been happy at all if he’d said no.  But alas, he didn’t, so i did.  And boy was it sooooo nice!

But THEN, he texted about 2-minutes later and said, “But now you have to wear the tack bra for having masturbated 2-days ago without permission.”  (Which i had and he busted me on!).

i begged, “NO please, Sir.  i really need to focus at work today and i don’t want to have to wear that.  Can i just wear it from the time i get home?!” And he did (Thankfully) relent.

And nothing else was said about it.  And my work day was stressful.  i came home tired and feeling so tired.  And since NOTHING else had been said about it, when i got home,  i didn’t put on the tack bra.

Then an hour later, i got in my favorite PJ’s (NOT his favorite – pants, top, made of cotton, super soft, but super “mom” and not at all “sexy”).  And didn’t say a word, just climbed into bed to play on my ipad a bit.

THAT was when he came in and told me i was struggling to be submissive.  i think he knew i didn’t have the tack bra on.  But he more-or-less let it go.  And i was happy.

Then today came….

And i felt guilty.  i felt very un-submissive in my behavior yesterday.  So without being told or asked, i just put on the tack bra anyway.

Now you have to understand, this was **THE** first time i’d actually been told to wear it since it was made.  But he told me, “If you make it, you better be prepared to wear it!” – and i wasn’t!

At least last night.  But today, i was determined to be a better submissive wife.

OUCH!

Okay, so putting it on wasn’t a big deal – not as much as i’d imagined anyway.  My imagination had gone crazy thinking how awful this would be.  So i went about getting ready for work.

And Sir texted me.  And here’s how the texting went:

Sir: “You should cum”.

Me: well, i had to clarify, “Is that a suggestion or a requirement?”

Sir:  one word, “Requirement”.

Me: “i’m not exactly feeling horny.  Do i have to?”

Sir:  “You need to start realizing that it doesn’t matter if you ‘feel’ it or not.  Now DO IT!”

Me:  “Yes Sir”.

Sir:  “Send me a picture”.

And the picture had the tack bra showing in it too.

Sir then texts:  “You put it on?  Without me telling you?”

Me: “Technically speaking, you DID tell me to put it on and i felt particularly unsubmissive in my actions and behaviors yesterday, and needed to make amends.”

Sir:  “Good girl!”

Me:  But oh-my-gosh – after moving around to masturbate and cum – when i wasn’t even horny and had to get myself to that point without ‘feeling it’ was PAINFUL with a tack bra on!  Holy H-E-Double Hocky sticks!

Me to Sir:  “Sir, i know you told me to wear this.  And technically, i have.  But it is SERIOUSLY hurting already and i haven’t left the house.  Can i have permission to NOT wear it to work, please?”

Sir:  “Because you recognize your own need for discipline and because you realize you did not follow orders without having to make me administer discipline, I will allow you to not wear it to work.  This time.  But get your attitude in check, and remember YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE AT ALL ANYMORE! or next time you WILL wear it out of the house until i tell you otherwise!”

Me:  “OH THANK YOU SIR!”

SO – Sir is seriously taking on the Dom role nicely.  i am having to learn that i am really NOT in control anymore.  i have to remember that even when i don’t ‘feel like it”, Sir just might be.  And i am not capital, but lower case.

And i love it!  i wouldn’t have it any other way.

Next time though – my breasts may take a beating, right along with my ass too.  Let’s hope i’ve learned my lesson and don’t “FEEL” particularly unsubmissive anytime too soon!
Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie

14 – Pleasure to pain.. in the same day.

So i’ve had an interesting submissive day today … pain to pleasure…. in a mere 12 hours time too!

Let me tell you about my day….

i typically work from home on Wednesdays.  i am never able to get done what i need to at the office so i work from home every Wed to try to make up for it.  And the place won’t fall apart without me for ONE day.  But today i had to go in for a meeting at 10:00.  So i drug my feet and went there “late” (at 9:00).

Orgasm Control Training

But before i went, David took our son to school.  And we recently – like this week – jointly decided we want to start doing (my ) orgasm control at his discretion.

Since the DD decision, i’ve had to ask to masturbate but he hasn’t told me when i can or can not cum.  Until now.

i’ve read a lot of blogs now about it and there are people who can “cum on command“.  The blog post said, “Right there in the middle of the bread aisle”.   Interesting.  i’m not sure i want to cum in the bread aisle, but i thought it was an awesome display of submissiveness, so i wanted it.  YES, i asked for it!

Just a sidebar – i don’t know WHAT i was thinking when i agreed to this.  In fact, it was MY IDEA!  Sir said, “Careful what you wish for….” and i was like, “NO, i really want to do this for you, for us, and as a show of my submissiveness”.   WELL, in my HEAD that sounded awesome, and frankly, coming out of my mouth it did too.  And i was PROUD of my decision.

For about a whole minute.

That “Minute” was THE MINUTE i wanted to orgasm and Sir said no.  (WHAT?! NO?!?  You are kidding me, right?!?!).

But i digress… because THAT MINUTE was a few days ago…. so let me get back to this morning…..

So David took our son to school.  He told me to “Lay on the bed, with the rabbit toy, and watch porn.  Bring yourself to the EDGE and stop.  DO NOT CUM.  And do this the entire time i’m gone and i’ll tell you when to stop”.

Our son’s school is 20-minutes away – one way.  So for 40-minutes i had to watch porn, and use the vibrator on myself but DO NOT CUM.

(REALLY, what was i thinking?!?  Is it too late to retract my request to submit to Sir THIS MUCH?  Maybe i could just submit with my clothes ON!?!?!  YES?!?!?!  LOL.  Okayyyyyy…. fine… doing this thing).

When David got back, i was so insanely turned on.  i could only hope that he’d allow me to cum … soon…  like NOW.

My fear was that he’d not let me cum at all and i’d have to ‘get dressed and go to work now.’.  But, he did not disappoint.  He entered the bedroom and asked me if i had came while he was gone.  i was like, “NO, i promise i haven’t, but Pleaseeeeeee Sir, may i cum now?”

NO.

ME:  WHAT?!?!  PLEASE!?!?

And he touched my clit.  it was SO enlarged and swollen i almost jumped off the bed with the slightest touch.  Then he took the porn away.  Then he took the vibrator away.  And he played with me himself.  And he said, “CUM NOW”.  And i did.

And then i went to work.

The next thing i know, i go from pleasure to pain…. in the same day.

THEN THE PADDLE

spanking paddle

To tell you WHY i got paddled first…..

Sir and i have the same profession.  He works for a firm and i work for myself.  And from time to time, he helps me get through busy times at work by doing some review work for me.  (He volunteers and i always take him up on it.  He knows i need the help and he has the time and the skill set, so it is a win-win.  And i love him for it!).  So today was one of those days.

He reviewed two projects that were substantially the same, and when i got home, he was talking to me about the results.  Well, i got confused about which project he was talking about because – it seemed to me anyway – that he was talking back and forth about both of them and i couldn’t keep up with the conversation.

Now, you’d think HE would be frustrated with me… like a “Keep up!” kind of comment.  But i was frustrated with him!  i had to say, “Are you talking about X or Y? i have no idea what you are talking about!”.  And then he started talking.  And i said with a very annoyed tone, “WHAT are you talking about?!  i’m not listening until you clarify because i’m confused!”

So – WHAT i said was probably not allllll that bad — but the WAY i said it was so completely off base it wasn’t even funny.  As soon as it came out of my mouth, and i felt the annoyance in my body language and realized how it sounded, i knew it was wrong.

But Sir didn’t say anything, so i acted like nothing happened.

We finished our convo and i was about to head outside to play ball/ fetch with the dog.

And that’s when he stopped me and said, “Do you think you were annoyed with me?”

Me: “Uhmmm…. yes Sir”.

Him:  “Go to the bedroom”.

Oh geez – here we go….

i dropped my pants and put my hands on the bed, head down, feet on the floor, spread shoulder-width apart.

And i heard the bedside stand dresser draw open and close.  The Paddle.  Here it comes.

SMACK.

SMACK.

SMACK.

Me:  (OUCH) —- “Please Sir, i’m sorry.  i spoke to you poorly and let my frustration get the best of me.  i will not let….

SMACK.

SMACK.

SMACK.

ME:  “that happen again.”

SMACK.

Him:  “WHY are you lying to me?”

SMACK.

Me:  “What do you mean?  Please Sir…. i promise”

SMACK.

Him:  “I seriously doubt that you will ‘not let it happen again’”

ME:  “Sir, i will do my best to….”

SMACK

ME:  “… not let it happen again.”

SMACK.

ME:  (Tears in my eyes, squirming….), “Thank you Sir”

Him:  “That’s what I was waiting for.”

And he put the paddle away and held me in his arms and told me i was a Good Girl.

Back to Orgasm Control

With that, standing naked in the bedroom and in his arms, he reached down between my legs and put a finger inside me.

And said, “CUM NOW”.

And he pushed two fingers in and out and i grabbed his arm and held on to not fall.

And i came.  Twice.  THAT fast.

forced orgasm

In “THAT MINUTE”… or “THIS MINUTE” … or “NOW”.

Conclusion:

NO matter what, through pleasure AND pain, and back again, i am his and he is mine. i will always submit to him and he will always control me.

And i welcome tomorrow….

With a sore, red ass.

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie

13 – Corset Waist Training and sex and spanking, oh my.

Have you done it before? i just started this past week.  Tell me what you think!?

i love it!  It is hot, sexy, and slimming.

And i’ve noticed that Sir LOVES it too!  🙂

i probably should have asked permission to buy it, wear it, and do it in the first place, but i didn’t.  And (probably because he DOES love the look, i got away with the unilateral decision i made! wink,wink!)

PROS:  Hot, Sexy, Slimming. 

Okay, so i already said that.  But let’s expand on that…..

Hot – well – i FEEL hot.  Not heat hot, but “oh la la” hot.

i like being looked at.  i always have.  i live a domestic, suburban lifestyle and looking “hot” isn’t exactly a pro-mom thing.  or a pro-suburban life thing.  Which is probably why i like to show it off and do what i’m not supposed to do!

These things force you to have good posture, which forces your boobs to protrude, which forces you to walk with confidence.  And THAT Sir finds to be hot.  And me too!

Sexy.  Okay, so sexy and hot are kinda the same thing.  But what i’m talking about is the bedroom-sexy here.  Let me tell you what happened….

Sir said i was disrespectful, and i was.  i deserved punishment, that i was just about to receive too.  And David ordered me to the bedroom to “assume the position” (clothes off, feet on the floor, legs spread shoulder-width apart, hands on the bed, head down, and ready to be spanked).

So i did as told.  But – i left the corset on.  Definitely a bold not-so-submissive move, but i was taking a chance with leaving it on, and i did it in a “i dare you to spank me harder if you think i’ve disobeyed this order too” kind of way.  And i waited.

He came in, grabbed the paddle and hit my ass HARD.  (Darn it, i’m not going to get an easy spanking due to looking corset-ready-sexy.  Hmm.)

BUT – alas – that’s when he laid his other hand on the small of my back.  And he said, “You look sexy.  But you are still in trouble.”

And SMACK.  (OUCH!).  So this hurts, but i smiled because i achieved the desired level of naughtiness by keeping the corset on, and he noticed.

And SMACK.  (OUCHHHHH).  But then…..

His hand left the small of my back and i felt it touch between my legs.  (Oh YEAH!)

i flinched because i wasn’t expecting that and that’s when i felt another SMACK. And Sir said, “I didn’t say you could move!”

And his fingers played with my clit.  i tried to stay very still.  But when i’m hit (no pun intended) with sex and spank at the same time, i feel pleasure AND pain, and my brain is racing a mile a minute!  And so is my heart!  And my blood.  And my pussy got wet!

He liked it!  He commented, “i think you are liking this!”

And SMACK. (OUCH again!  Woah, which feeling is DOMINANT in me?!).

But his fingers continued to explore my clit and pretty soon i felt TWO go inside.

And SMACK.  With 2-fingers inside on one hand and the other hand controlling the paddle, that was some kind of sensation!

That’s when he pushed more fingers inside… in fact, his paddle hand dropped the paddle and pushed on the small of my back to hold me in place, while his pussy hand pushed ALL fingers inside me.

He was working towards a full fisting motion.  And it stretched out my pussy and pushed hard inside me.  It got me so wet!  And that’s when i heard, “DO NOT CUM!”  (okay, so is THAT the punishment?!)

We’ve never been fully successful with fisting.  Sir’s hand is large and he says the squeezing tightness of my pussy doesn’t feel good on his hand.  But i think he endeavors to one day get his entire fist into that pussy!  (But today was not that day!)

He pushed me hard into the bed and pinned my neck with his spanking hand so that i couldn’t move while the other hand was jamming in and out of my pussy.  With each “in” it went further and hurt a little more.  A pleasure-filled-hurt though.

After a bit of this, he said, “NOW you may cum” and i did almost immediately.  (Orgasm training is another thing we are working on… another post maybe!).  And the release was amazing!

That’s when David stood me up, put both hands around my neck and from behind me said, “This wasn’t much of a punishment, but i DO LOVE the corset look.  Wear it daily!”  (YES SIR!… Mission accomplished…. hear the theme song in your head… dunt, dunt, du-du-dunt… okay, i’ll stop, but you DO hear it, right?!?!?).

I got away with it this time, but somehow, i don’t think that, corset or no corset, “next time” the punishment really WILL BE punishment.

And Slimming…. okay, well, after those HOT AND SEXY pros, do we really want to talk about any other pros?!?!

– well, maybe just ONE comment – regarding “slimming” – the corset strings are HARD to do up (in the back) by yourself – so Sir is not using his Dominant self to tie me in of his own accord.  And of course, i’d have to have permission to get out of it – but i don’t want to – becuase – well – i find it — HOT, SEXY, and SLIMMING.  (Can you tell, i like it!?!)
And CONS — well – that would just simply be a complete downer to talk about that now –  so we will skip that.  Comment if you really want to hear about the Cons.  😉

So there you have it – i officially wear a corset – and sometimes that’s IT – but the corset is a daily activity now……

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie

11 – Double Date with BFF’s

Sir and i went out on a double date last night with our BFF’s.  They are married and we met because our children were in kinder together (at a private Christian school no less!).  We have always had a mutual attraction, but never reallyyyyyyy acted on it.

First the backstory…

So our kids were in kindergarten and as you stand outside the classroom door, you get to know one another’s faces, as the school year drones on you say hello, and it takes off from there.

i’ve always thought she was hot.  She is probably **the** reason i wanted to kiss a woman.  But she is the elusive, flirty, look-but-do-NOT-touch, type.  When i am with her, i find myself with loads of JOY.  So i’ll call her “Joy” from now on.

Joy is one of those women who is older and wiser than her actual years. In fact, i’m about 10-years older than her, but to talk to us, you’d have NO idea that she wasn’t older than me.  She’s done more things, been to more places, and seen more wilder things that i’ve even dared to think about.  At least, so she says.

She and i quickly became BFF’s as our sons also became BFF’s.  It was convenient!  And we confided in one another about everything – i think.  i say ‘i think’ because the longer i know her (going on 10-years now!) the more i “find out” that she hadn’t told me before. Which isn’t bad, just eye opening in a “oh, i didn’t know THAT,” kind of way.

But because we talk openly, we talk about EVERYTHING.  She once told me that “if we weren’t married to our husbands, we would  make the perfect couple and i’d ask you to marry me!” and she was serious.  And what’s more, i pretty much agreed with her too!

We hung out, texted, called each other A LOT.  She started calling me, “HER MARIE”.  And told her husband that “When I’m with MY Marie, you have to take a backseat.  I’ll always come home to you, but she comes first!” WOW.  Bold.  (She’s NOT a submissive!)

Our husbands began to be friends too, because we would coordinate double-dates, just so that they were included but really, it was so we could be together too.

But that’s as far as it’s ever gone sexually too…… mostly anyway.

SEXTING with Joy.

She loves to sext me.  Joy brings a smile to my face when she sends me naughty pictures and asks for some in return.  She tells me she’s been with women before and loved it, but that her husband didn’t think it was ‘right’.  i’ve decided i think that was simply an ‘excuse’ to tell me so that she wouldn’t have to get naked in front of me, in person, and let me have my way with her (and vice versa).

Joy has sent me all sorts of naked porn and seductively dressed pictures.  i think she knows i’d love to taste her.  And that’s likely why when we are together, she flirts (heavily) but because we are ALWAYS in public, it would never go further than flirting.

Joy’s husband.

Let me tell you a bit about Joy’s husband.  Most of which is second-hand knowledge from Joy, because of course, i talk to Joy wayyyyy more than i do her husband.

Her husband is manly in that he works out, he’s done an Iron Man challenge, and he’s fit.  She says it is all for show though.  She says that on the inside, he is very much a puppy dog and does what she wants.  She likes to “be on top” but she also likes to “top from the bottom”. Maybe she’s a switch and ultimately not just a dominant or a submissive!

She hands him devices and tells him to use them. Once she and i went to a girl’s night out and she told me that she “put his cock in a cage, took the key (with her to our girl’s night), and told him to expect sexy pictures from us all night while we were out.” And then she laughed and told me, “he likes it! And I like being in control!”.

And then she proceeded to tell me that she/i would take turns going to the bathroom taking naughty pictures and sending them to him.  And we did.  But of course, we didn’t do this “together”.

So because he is physically fit (The Iron Man Challenge!) and he loves Iron on his cock apparently too, i’m going to call him “IRON” from now on.  So Joy and Iron are happily married with her telling him what to do… and in some ways.. telling me what to do too.

Fantasy date nights.

Joy has told me she wanted us to set up a date with each of our husbands, at separate restaurants, but on the same day and time.  They would think they were going to dinner with their wife. But THEN when it came time to go out, we would tell them we had to drive separate cars (not sure how i’d have ever managed to convince Sir that while we are going to the same place, we have to drive separate cars!?).

And each of her/i would go to the “other husband’s” restaurant.  And act, look, talk as if we are married to that husband.  So she would go meet Sir and i would go meet Iron.  And when we were together with the other one’s husband, we would touch, kiss, and ‘act married’ to that one.

We’ve never actually done that because at the time she suggested it, i wasn’t too sure how much Iron and i would actually have in common or what we would ‘do’ or talk about.  And frankly, i was a bit worried that Iron would just get mad. David would likely be turned on and think it hot, but i wasn’t certain of that either.

SATURDAY REAL DATE NIGHT.

Last night Joy and Iron, and myself and Sir went to dinner and drinks altogether on a double-date. We went to a nice steak house and ate dinner, drank two bottles of wine, and went to the cigar room in the restaurant for a cocktail after that.  (i was drunk off my ass!)

When i get drunk, i get horny.  Okay, so i get horny pretty much anytime David is around, but still… it’s magnified when i’m drunk.  Okay, maybe not magnified at all… maybe just that i tell him more… i become more aggressive about it!

And at dinner, i was sitting next to Sir and put my hand on his leg.  i started rubbing his leg in a “i’m thinking of you” and “i love you” and a “massage” kind of way.  He seemed to like it.

And the drunker i got, the more bold i got.  i moved my hand up to his crotch and started rubbing on his cock.  i could feel it responding.  i could tell he liked it.

But that’s when he grabbed my hand, put it on my own leg, and said, “STOP!  You didn’t ask permission to touch my leg, let alone my cock!”.

i cringed. Ouch, that kinda hurt my ego.

And i whispered, “may i please touch your cock Sir?”  into his ear.

He said, “NO.  You should’ve asked first.  But you didn’t.  So you lost that privilege!”

Joy was observant though and noticed this exchange.  She looked at me and said, “are you okay?”

i said, “oh yes, i’m in trouble though.  i didn’t ask permission.”

And Sir said, “Most definitely in trouble!”

Joy said, “Didn’t ask permission for what?”

Sir said, “Tell her!” Despite texting and sexting a lot with Joy, i hadn’t told her about this new submissive dynamic we had now.

Me, “For touching his cock without permission.” And i looked down.

Joy laughed and said, “i hope the punishment fits the crime” and she winked.  i think she thinks i was in a ‘play/ fun kind of trouble’ and frankly, i wasn’t sure if she was right or not.  i’d have to wait and see.

Cigar room fun.

Have you ever smoked a cigar?  It creates a natural high from the nicotine.  So combine alcohol, cigar high, and horny-ness (is that a word?) together and what do you get?

i got Joy sitting in my lap and proclaiming how happy she was to have “Her Marie” now.

That’s when Sir said, “kiss her”.

i wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or Joy, but it could be interchangeable.  So she leaned in and pecked me on the lips.

Sir said, “That wasn’t much of a kiss”.

And she leaned in and KISSED ME.  i tasted her tongue.  i felt the heat between us.  i wanted more.  So i asked her if David could take our picture while we did that again.  She laughed and said, “sure.”  So i got to kiss her again.  And i got a picture too.  🙂

But … alas… that was it.  Done.  No more.  That was all she wrote.

Really?!  i was left feeling teased on a whole new level.

MAYBE NEXT TIME.

Sir said we should start having more double date nights.  And the next one maybe should be closer to home.  And maybe the one after that, we could come back to our home.  And maybe the one after THAT, he’d order me naked as soon as we hit the house and he would “strongly suggest” (because she would probably listen to Sir, but still want to be in control) that she use a toy on me.  And then the NEXT time, he’d tell me to lick her pussy until she came. And then…. and then…..

And that’s maybe when she’d let Iron out of his cage to play also.

Maybe.

One can hope.

One day.

One date.

Soon.

Maybe.

Or maybe not!

Hugs ~

Marie

10 – Focus already! … Red ass indeed

So David came home from his work-travel trip this week.  And at the conclusion of our at-home family dinner he said very calmly and appropriately to me, “Go make yourself ready.  Be prepared to tell me about your Transgressions.”

Well, i knew.   But in my head i thought, “our son is home.  Surely he won’t do anything while our son is home and awake and can hear.  Maybe he didn’t mean ready for spanking, but maybe ready for bed?!”  So I brushed my teeth.

Oops!  Boy was i wrong!  He came in and said, “Getting ready means brushing your teeth?!?!?” and i calmly responded, “Getting ready for bed does.”  And he said, “do NOT test me!” (Ok, he was right. i knew. Even you knew. Right?!?)

So i stopped and dropped.  My pants, panties, shirt, bra.  Everything.  And i calmly walked to the edge of the bed and placed my hands on the bed, with my feet firmly on the floor.  He makes a point to tell me that my “heels are to remain on the floor at all times.”  i almost never succeed in this, but i can keep trying!

As i waited for what came next, i felt his hand come up under my arm.  He had recently bought some of the mini sized clothes pins.  And he pinched them open and applied one to each nipple.  And that’s when he got out the flogger.  He hit me firmly with it exactly 5 times.  It made a LOT of noise.  i feared our son would hear.  But if he did, he didn’t say anything.  And between each swat, i had to tell him another Transgression.

Then he stood me up, thanked me for all that i had done right, forgave me for all that was not done correct, and all was forgiven.  But the clothes pins were to stay for awhile longer as a reminder.

About an hour later, my nipples were swollen and throbbing, but i didn’t dare say a word.  i did fear he’d maybe forgotten.  But he had not and he finally relented and took them off.  And OH-HOLY-HELL when they came off, the rush of blood back into the nipple caused some immediate pain!  And then it subsided almost as fast.  But wow, i wasn’t expecting that!

i was relieved that was all there was.  And then we went to sleep.

That was 2-days ago.

Then yesterday.  i was struggling to focus at all, on anything, at work yesterday.  So i gave up at 3p and went home.  When i got home, he was there as he frequently works from home.  He asked me why i was home so i told him (the truth!) about being unable to focus.

And that’s when he said, “Go to the bedroom.”  And i did.  And i stripped.  i prepared myself. This time to be spanked and not brushing my teeth! 😉

When he came in, he asked me if i knew why i was there.  i responded with “i was unable to focus today and i need a mind readjustment.” He said, “very good.  You were able to focus on that.  Let’s see if you can focus on this.”  And i felt the paddle come down …. hard… on my ass.

My ankles left the floor.  And he fussed at me and then placed his foot on top of the arch of my foot, with a hand on the small of my back to force my feet (and heels) to stay down also.

He said, “You will respond with ‘i will focus’ between each swat.  Do you understand?”

“Yes Sir”.

SWAT.

“i will focus”

SWAT.

“i WILL focus”

SWAT.

“i PROMISE i WILL FOCUS!”

Him:  “Are you sure?  REALLY sure?”

SWAT.

“Yes Sir.  i WILL FOCUS!”

Him: “Not good enough”

SWAT!

“i will focus”.  This is where the tears were welling up in my eyes.  But he didn’t know that as my head was down and not facing him.  i know he HAD to have heard it in my cracking voice though.

He cared, but not enough to stop.  He hadn’t driven home his point yet.

This continued for a total of somewhere around 15 swats.  i’m not really sure, because i was simply FOCUSED on saying, “i will focus” and attempting (and failing!) to keep my ankles on the floor.

And with that, he said, “Let’s see how much you are really ready to focus.  I’m sure there are emails you’ve neglected today in your lack of focus.  Go answer emails now.”

i didn’t put on a single stitch of clothing.  He didn’t say “Get dressed and then go answer emails”  instead, i heard exactly what he said, “GO ANSWER EMAILS NOW.” That meant “FOCUS on exactly what I said and GO NOW!” and do not stop or pass go or collect $200.  So i did.

And i started up my laptop.  i opened email.  And i more-or-less just sat there.  i just wasn’t feeling the focus at all … still…

At least i can say i was trying to focus, which was more than i could say i’d done earlier in the day.  But still, not really focused!

And he noticed.

BACK TO THE BEDROOM.  NOW.

Here we go again.  Oh yikes!  Really, WHY did i do this to myself?  i didn’t really set out to do this, it ‘just happened.’

And i assumed the position.  i wondered how my ass was going to take this and if he’d show mercy on me.  He did not.

SWAT.

“i will focus”

Him:  “Really?  That’s what you said last time.  Not even 20 minutes ago!”

SWAT

“i will focus”

Him: “WHEN?  Today or tomorrow? What is it going to take Marie?”

SWAT

“i will focus”

SWAT

“i will focus”

Him:  “Ready to truly focus?”

SWAT

“i will focus.  Yes Sir, i am.”

SWAT

“i really am ready to focus Sir.”

Again, i know it was around 10 total, but i wasn’t even focused on counting. He stood me up and said, “i want you to go set an alarm for 15-minutes.  Do NOT get distracted by ANYTHING and read and respond to as many emails as you can in that time.  I’m telling you again – Do NOT get distracted!”

“Yes Sir”

And i did!  i succeeded this time!

i deserved a red ass

i really did.  i know i did.  i was not focused – on anything including being spanked and his attempts to help me RE-focus – and accomplished very little beforehand.  But i did certainly want to please Sir and i wanted to focus.  He definitely helped me to shut out the world, all the distractions, and FOCUS on one thing – my ass – okay, maybe a few things – the words, “i will focus” and pleasing my Sir.

Today my butt is sore.  But my mind is FOCUSED.

While i needed to focus yesterday, today i’m reminded as my butt is a bit sore overall.  i looked in the mirror and saw a couple of bruises.  i suppose i deserved that too.  i hope i can stay focused and not have to have a repeat of this session…. i suspect next time it would be even worse!

Hugs ~

Marie