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Tag: leadership

135 – Maintenance Fridays

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 135 – Maintenance Fridays

i have attempted to explain Maintenance Friday (MF – okay, completely coincidental with those words!) sessions in the past. To no real avail. i don’t know if i can adequately explain it any better now than i did before, but i’m going to try.

By agreement, we decided to have a MF spanking session every week. Every Friday morning.

Yes, i submit my bottom to be spanked every week. Even when i have done nothing wrong. In fact, MF sessions are not typically about anything done wrong. It is “just because.” It is scheduled for every Friday morning. That schedule doesn’t change. It’s been set for about a year now for that day and time every week.

Seriously, most maintenance Friday sessions are NOT real “MF’ers” as far as spankings go. In fact, most are not too bad at all. David varies the length and intensity. And frankly speaking, it is a practice session, not the real thing. It’s practicing to make perfect. And like anything, the practice session is similar but typically not quite as intense either.

Sometimes though, even i find myself thinking about the “why” do we do MF’s too, especially now, 2-years into practicing Domestic Discipline (DD).

First i should tell you when we started MF, it was because i asked for it. When we first started doing DD, David was tentative. He was nervous and i think he wondered if i was setting him up for failure. Here i was saying, “discipline me.” And i suspect he was like, “what’s the catch?”

So i asked to have MF to be able to show him that i was serious about wanting for him discipline me through spankings, allow him the ability to learn how to do it really without being a pressure (correction) session, and for me to have a chance to show him i would indeed submit.

That’s why we first did them, but why now? Why continue? Well, i would say the ultimate reason now is reinforcement.

To reinforce the good things we want to happen. And decrease the things we don’t.

And yes, i do truly mean “we”, as in, both of David and i. We work together to make our marriage better and we agree that this DD dynamic is really good for us! And we both want, and i dare say “need,” it too! Our marriage is stronger as a result of MF. Our communication, teamwork, and common goal (to make our marriage stronger) is at the forefront. Okay, yes, i know these things can be achieved in other ways too, but THIS way works for us.

Okay, so those are some great outcomes, but W-H-Y would i do that…..Submit to being spanked for no reason?

AND,

W-H-Y would David spank me for nothing done wrong?

Well…. if for no other reason…. practice makes perfect.

Practice WHAT exactly?

Well…. several things actually…..

1) Spanking. Yes. Practicing the actual act of it makes it become perfect. David knows exactly how much i can tolerate, how much makes me cry, how much turns my butt red, and how much is too much….. or not enough. He knows how hard to swing. He knows which instruments cause what results.

And it works for me in the opposite way too. i have learned to receive a spanking the way David wants to deliver it. i know what causes me to wince, to cry, and how it feels. So with fresh reminders from weekly MF spankings, i will (hopefully) want to do what is needed to avoid any further punishments during the week also.

2) Dominance. David can chose to spank OR not on MF’s. And sometimes he chooses not to. Because we both know, it is ultimately his decision and HIS choice, and sometimes he decides not to!

So yes, we do skip MF’s sometimes too. But that decision is ultimately up to him and only him. Which is a reminder to me that i am to submit at all times and be ready too if he decides that it is necessary. These MF sessions serve as a reminder to me that he has been granted power and authority by God, and because i chose to submit to both God and my husband, so if he wishes to spank my bottom, i allow it.

It creates and reinforces confidence in David. That he is indeed in charge, and i will follow his lead in our marriage and our house.

3) submission. It reinforces in me that feeling of not being in charge and ultimately not being in control. i chose to submit. It is an active decision to allow my bottom to hurt for a few minutes in order to submit my mind AND my body to my husband, which reinforces his dominance too (see #2 above).

Plus, intentionally getting naked, bending over, and holding still to receive a spanking is a practice in humility. Submission of the mind AND mind. By doing this weekly, it reinforces that the humility is appropriate and nothing to be ashamed of. It allows me to be fully exposed to my husband’s leadership and control in body and spirit.

4) last but not least…….ultimately…… practice does make perfect.

Think about every activity you’ve ever participated in. The actual event is but a moment in time, but the practice leading up to it seemed never ending and perpetual. Whether it be a sporting event, a theater play, a school exam, or a presentation at work. All of these things have one thing in common: practice.

Repetition. Over and over.

Until it’s perfected.

And when the ultimate “go time!” happens, you say a prayer and hope it goes off without a hitch…. just the way you practiced.

In a marriage though, there’s not really a “performance” day. There’s never the final exam. So you go about life and marriage actually hoping in this case that there is NOT a time that all this practicing is needed. Because that means something had actually gone wrong and an actual punishment is needed. A sign of trouble.

How do you react or respond at that sign of trouble?

Most of the time i act and respond just the way we practiced it…. with submission to my husband’s authority. But sometimes i don’t. And he doesn’t either.

That’s when the MF sessions come in handy. We have a plan in place of how to deal with trouble. And then we just enact it. So when things go awry, now we know how to fix it.

We both have practice knowing what a spanking will look, act, and feel like. David also knows what it will take to correct the ill-behavior and bad actions too. So he knows the “real” spanking needs to be more harsh than the MF ones, and frankly, so do i!

So yes, we practice (almost) every Friday. We have spanking sessions, “just because” so that we have practice making it perfect. “It” being the dominance, submission, DD, and yes, the spanking itself!

i don’t know if i explained the “why” very well or not, but don’t knock it til you try it. You might just find that practice does make your submission (or dominance) perfect too!

Hugs,

Marie

33 – my body betrays my mind

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 33 – my body betrays my mind

If you’ve seen any of my prior posts, you know that my husband is my best friend, the authority in my house, and in charge. And most recently, he’s learned that it is a “thing” that more and more women are choosing to be braless …. everywhere…. all the time…. in any light, weather, or clothing. (Don’t believe me? Just google, “braless”)

Well, my husband is a “boob man” anyway. He notices them on every lady out there and L-O-V-E-S them. And so this is music to his eyes and inspired him to set a rule for me that “NO bras allowed. Ever. Again. Period.”

Okay, so my recent posts have told you that my first thought about this was, “Hell yah! Ditch that stupid thing!” And i did. And for the first 24’ish hours, i was in heaven.

Those 24-hours were on a Saturday. When i didn’t have a care in the world and nowhere to be or go. And we were on vacation. Who cares who sees anything while on vacation? i mean, you are NEVER going to see these people again! Yeah, so, ditch the bra and have a grand time!

And then. We came home. And had to go to the store. And the realization that this is now my new rule… at home too. Sir expected the “no bra” rule to Always. Apply. Forever. Amen. (Oh geez!).

And so i went to the store. David knew i was apprehensive… what if i see someone i know, what if i know them well-enough they say something, what if it’s a friend’s mom, what if it’s our son’s friends, on and on.

So i didn’t like it and i told David. While he’s in charge and has final authority, he always considers my thoughts, requests, etc. And this was no different. But, he responded, quite firmly with, “I know you don’t like it now. But I do. And the sooner you learn to accept it, the better off we will all be.”

And so i went to the store. Braless. On edge. With great apprehension.

And i get a text from Sir and it says, “I need proof.”

i was perplexed and thought, “proof to what?” And i texted that back (nicely.)

And the text i got back said, “that you listened and did as i asked… braless. Take a selfie right now.” So, as odd as THAT was, and because the girls were on high beam anyway, i did and they showed. And Sir was happy.

Then came Sunday. And church. (Yes, we are Christians. In fact, it’s the Bible that got me to thinking i needed to be a submissive, obedient wife in the first place. But that’s another post altogether!). And i (quite calmly) asked Sir again, “even to church?” And the response was, “Y-E-S! So again, i did.

Now at this point, i’ve basically been Braless a week. But here comes Monday. And returning to work. And i’m not much caring about the braless thing at this point. And i happen to work in a VERY conservative profession, in a VERY conservative city and state. So this time, i put my foot down and said, “respectfully Sir, i won’t go to work without a bra.”

And he relinquished. He understood. And agreed. And i feel complete relief wash over me.

And i go put on my bra and start to dress for work.

And find that bra is SO tight! SO constricting. So uncomfortable. Holy crap! When did this go from so good to so bad? Why did i like this… ever? And WHY did i think I didn’t like braless?

MY BODY HAS BETRAYED MY MIND,

I DO LIKE BRALESS.

So i told David this. And his response was, “ you like the SAFETY of the bra. The safety of being conservative, of not looking slutty in public, or not tarnishing your name or reputation. You don’t like the bra itself!”

And i realized, he is right!

So then he says, “if you trust me, you’ll do as I ask and not wear a bra ever again (except we will concede work hours), and you will find safety in me and my leadership and our marriage.

Maybe i DO like braless after all. Maybe i will be more submissive and obedient and trust in my marriage and that the Lord to lead my husband in a way that is a bit different, but still safe too!

Hugs,

Marie

2 – WHY Domestic Discipline?

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Marriage, Submission, Uncategorized. No Comments on 2 – WHY Domestic Discipline?

So there are a lot of questions that could be asked – what, when, why, how, where – but the one that I think most people would want answered is WHY.

WHY did I CHOSE Domestic Discipline (DD)?  

First off, i want you know, that I DID CHOSE DD.  I was not forced into it.  In fact, if anyone was forced (but of course I like to think ‘encouraged’  was my husband).  I have been talking about being spanked, enjoying being spanked, “why don’t you spank me?”, and “how about i hand you the paddle and bend over and you spank me” for a long time now.  I don’t remember when i first started talking about it, but its probably been over a year ago at this point.

Second, i RESPECT my husband.  But i don’t always show it (at all… let alone properly).  And i decided i wanted to change that.  I tried on my own, but i kept falling short and into old patterns.  It didn’t seem to matter, he didn’t notice, what was the big deal, i am ‘right’ anyway, and enabling myself to justify my actions and behaviors.

I thought about how if our child (who knows nothing of our DD life) were to talk back to me, what would I do? That is disrespect and needs to be corrected.  How would i correct?  Punishment.  Now i was never good at spanking our son, and now he’s too old for that, but punishment of some kind  is in order.  Or else how would he ever learn to control his tongue, temper, or actions?

The question is though, what does “Respect” mean.  And how does one go about showing it to another person.

Well, the bible says women are to SUBMIT and OBEY their husbands.  I kind of realized that it is the ‘submission’ part of the BDSM porn that always always attracted me.    And recently i was searching the internet for words like “submission” and “submissive wife” that i came across DD.  I’d never heard of it before, but the more i read, the more i realized THAT is what i want!

Third – by showing respect, I am humbled.  I am brought back to what God wanted women to do and who He wanted us to be!  I wanted to show respect and honor to my husband, as Head of House and Family, in the way that God had intended.  And the best way to do that, was to SUBMIT to him.

And when I found that DD is literally, just that, submitting to your spouse and recognizing his authority, and enabling him to be the person that God wanted him to be too – i knew i was “IN”.

Yes, that does include discipline.  And quite often that could be in the form of a red, bruised, and blistered ass.  But so be it.  Rules have been established, Respect is required, and disobedience is not tolerated.  It’s simple.

So – Domestic Discipline – works!

And that’s WHY I chose it!

Would you chose it?

Hugs,

Marie