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263 – And just like that, i was spanked. HARD!

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 263 – And just like that, i was spanked. HARD!

My ass turned a brilliant color of red, hurt to sit, and the next day is STILL tender and bruising.

Yah. So. i knew it was coming. i took it like a champ, but it hurttttttt.

i didn’t know the exact time David’s plane would land back home. i only knew it was around 11a. So i started watching Life 360 for location updates around 10:30. i KNEW i HAD to be in position on time or it would be a double whammy. And i was NOT going there!

Life 360 showed his plane on the ground about 11:05. i watched as his little icon moved slowly, presumably as he walked throughthe airport. Once i knew he was on the road and headed home, i started to get ready.

i was previously told to Assume the Position at the time i knew he had left the airport.

We live about 30’ish minutes from the airport, so i knew the wait would be a test of itself. i went to our bedroom and fully undressed. i pulled the bed covers back. i got the paddle out of its drawer. i grabbed a pillow and set it midway down the bed. i climbed on the bed. i tucked the pillow under my hips, to raise my butt up in the air. i grabbed the paddle, and bent over at my waist. i placed the paddle on my lower back/ upper ass. i tucked my arms under my head. i laid my head on the bed.

And i waited.

And waited.

And i ALMOST fell asleep! Laying on the bed, without anything to do except wait and contemplate my (very) immediate future, caused me to get bored and drift off. Thankfully i did NOT actually fall asleep. i can’t imagine his response had he found me asleep! (Oh my!)

As soon as i heard the garage door open, my heart started racing.

Please Dear God allow me to accept this discipline with grace. Be with David as he delivers this discipline. Lead him in your will. Guide him to know when justice has been served, and without HIS remorse but instead my own.

And he walked in.

“Hello Sir.”

“Hello. I’m glad to see you in position. Are you ready?”

“No, i am not ready, but i know i need to accept this anyway.”

And he picked up the paddle from my lower back/upper butt, and i held my breathe expecting the first swat to land. Instead, it softly touched my bottom. He held it there for what felt like several minutes, but was in reality most likely only several seconds.

i heard, “do you understand why you are here?”

“Yes Sir. i got unnecessarily mad at you and defied your authority, which was disrespectful to you.”

SMACK!

Ouch! Man that hurt. Ok…. Breathe!

As he smacked my butt, my whole body moved forward toward the top of the bed. No warm up today!

Get back in position and relax your muscles. Accept this with grace! You knew it wasn’t going to be pleasant!

“Yes, you are correct.”

He held it against my bottom again. He spoke again, “And was there a better way?”

“Yea Sir. i should have just talked to you.”

Swat, (pause), swat, (pause), SWAT! (and a pause)

Ahhh crap this hurts! Get back in position and relax again!

He said nothing, but as my body moved with the intense smacks he delivered. He gave me enough time to reset and prepare for the next one. Each one was delivered with intensity and intention and purpose.

And we started another round. One. After. Another. i lost count. i tried hard to keep count, but Sir didn’t make me count aloud. Thankfully. As i found it took everything in me to accept each smack, in a respectful manner as i knew i needed to.

This hurt so bad. It is serving its purpose… to correct bad behavior!

After a few more, Sir held the paddle up against my ass again. He must have known i was (unintentionally) holding my breathe as each swat found its mark. This was a chance to recover and be prepared for more. i wasn’t sure if the pause was good or bad really!

After each one, Sir gave me about 5-seconds to reset and release my breathe. And smack!

And release, and Smack!

Then he held the paddle to my ass once again. He spoke again. “Have you learned anything today?”

“Yes Sir. i WON’T be doing this again.”

“Good!”

As he said that, i felt the paddle pull away from the seat of my bottom. As it did, i pulled in my breathe, gritted my teeth, and expected the next swat to make its mark.

But i felt nothing.

Could we be done?!

S-M-A-C-K!

Ouchie…. This was the worst one yet! Wow! This one was intense.

Maybe it was because i wasn’t able to anticipate it so well with the dramatic pause, but i swear Sir added more power to this one for sure!

Even before now, i knew they would get progressively worse too!

i felt several more too!

My resistance was lessening. i was resigning and relaxing into it. This is usually when i start to tear up and the water starts leaking out of my eyes. i felt a few more spanks collide with my ass and i could tell the tears were starting to form.

David knew i was resigned to accept it now. He knew i was feeling the remorse. He also knew how red my ass was already showing too.

He held the paddle against my ass again and asked me, “Do you have anything more to say?”

“Yes Sir. i am sorry.”

With that, he pulled the paddle back and i prepared for another. But it didn’t come.

Instead, he pulled my upper body up from the mattress and into a hug. He kissed my lips and said, “I love you and your submission. All is done.”

i hugged him right back. And i reciprocated my love for my Sir.

And he said, “let’s go enjoy lunch out and do some shopping.”

i didn’t know what shopping he had in mind, but i was feeling incredibly humble and wasn’t about to say a word about that. i said, “thank you Sir for loving me enough to lead and discipline me.”

i wore a cotton dress to lunch. i knew i needed the soft fabric against my burning bottom. The dress was lowwww cut and showed off my cleavage in a polite, but sexy way. i wore nothing underneath. In fact, besides my sandals, the only other thing i put on was my collar. The collar was to remind me who i am (and not earn a repeat visit to the Position any too soon!)

We went out to lunch.

The seat of my Sir’s truck felt like it was on fire. It was SO hot! Or maybe it was the heat radiating from my ass and trapped between the cotton dress and the leather seat that was causing the problem.

When we got to the restaurant, i requested a booth, where the cushioned bench would be so much better than the wood chairs. Sir laughed but agreed. All throughout lunch he made references to my “hot ass.” i knew he wasn’t making flirtatious comments either.

When we left there, we went to the sex toy shop, Adam & Eve. i had no idea his “shopping” would be for sex toys! He found a few things i would not have bought, mainly for cost! One thing he got was a new whipping tool. Not sure what to call it but i will have to find a way to describe it to you at some point, after it tears up my ass no doubt!

Another thing he found was a rabbit vibratory that had an electric shock function too. i have never owned any electric shock toys. Wasn’t sure if this would be good or bad! As Sir handed me the toys he said to go check out, and i did.

i have NO doubt the two cashiers noticed my low cut dress, my lack of a bra, and my collar. They spoke to me politely enough, but admittedly much of their conversation was directed to Sir. They explained that the electric shock function works “differently inside a body, compared to being on the outside. When you have this inside her, touch the button to start the electricity function. It will cause her muscles to contract where she will reach orgasm much quicker.”

He said, “good to know.” And he smiled at me. As he said this to them, i wondered, “will i get to orgasm or will he stop it just short?!”

After we paid, we came home.

He told me to get undressed and lay on the couch. He used the new electric toy on my needy pussy and he allowed me to orgasm… over and over again! That new electric shock delivered, just as the ladies said it would. i was in multiple orgasm, subspace heaven! i lost count for the second time in one day.

The day started on a humbling note and ended on a super high note. As i laid in bed going off to sleep, i felt really special and happy, despite my rear end still throbbing and showing signs of one continuous bruise. My badge of honor that i was pleased to accept!

That was all yesterday.

Today i was allowed to give Sir a blow job, where i got super horny. i so badly wanted to climb on his cock and ride it like nobody’s business, but he did not allow that. He stopped me from it, saying he knew i was thinking selfish (get an orgasm out of it) thoughts. He was not wrong!

And but a short few minutes later, he wanted to “try out the new whip toy.”

i knew i wasn’t in trouble, but i wasn’t thrilled to have my still-bruised-and-still-tender-bottom spanked. i didn’t complain though. Instead, i leaned over the side of the bed and spread my legs wide. He used this new tool to turn my ass a bright red! It stung as it collided with my ass. He didn’t spank me too long, but it was long enough too. i think Sir enjoyed it. i may be seeing more of this thing, that i’m not sure how to describe. Maybe i need to take a picture, post it, and ask you how to describe it or tell me it’s name!

This all made me SO wet! i don’t quite know why, but every time i am spanked my puss gets sopping sloppy wet. (Yesterday i was dripping down my own leg!)

But he did NOT touch me. NO orgasms today!

When he didn’t allow me to ride his cock, nor did he touch my pussy after he spanked my ass, i knew an orgasm was NOT in my immediate future so i went and put the chastity belt on for tonight. i needed to save me from myself! As i came out of the closet, Sir held his hand out and i placed the key in it. He smirked and said, “I like it!”

After he read in his book, he just now turned out the light and with a half laugh told me to “enjoy your frustration tonight.”

i pouted and said, “i don’t think i will Sir.”

He laughed and said, “I will!”

In a joking tone, i poked at him and said, “i think you rather seem to like having me frustrated Sir.”

And he responded back, “I definitely do!”

One of the worst spankings i have had to date and the first time to receive two in two days too, even though the second one was a bit of a maintenance type than a discipline type.

And i am frustrated tonight, but still proud of who i am. i am His submissive wife, and i have accepted all this with the grace i prayed for!

Hugs,

Marie

262 – Today i am mad.

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 262 – Today i am mad.

i got very mad at Sir tonight. And tomorrow, i will be spanked for it.

i said NO! to Sir. i know i don’t do that. But i did. Intentionally too!

Because i got that mad at him.

So we have streaming tv. And his dad, my father in law (FIL), sometimes dials on and watches specific shows on our service. When he does that though, it turns off what we are watching.

Well Sir is out of town and it happened while i was watching a tv show. i got a message that said, “You’re watching tv on too many devices in too many locations.” It gives me a choice to click on continue watching or cancel. If i continue, it will knock my FIL off again. And while i could do that, he will get that message and hit “continue watching” himself and it will knock me off where we play a tv version of ping pong.

So i got pissed and i told David so. i said, “this is stupid that we share tv service with your dad. We can afford to pay for our own service, and so can he. i should be able to watch what i want, when i want.”

i got a message back that said, “CHILL OUT!” Well, i didn’t.

And while David showed me an alternative way to get the show on that i wanted, i told him, “i got it on now, but i am still mad. This is stupid!”

To which he said, “well tell him.”

Now i wasn’t mad at my FIL, but at David. David gave him the password and he used it. My FIL didn’t do anything wrong.

So i said, “No. i told you.”

i waited.

i saw he read it.

About 5-minutes later, i got a response.

It said, “Are you telling me no?”

And i wrote (very boldly and confidently), “Yes Sir. i did. Because i am that mad.”

He wrote, “ok. When you see I’m leaving the airport (to drive to our house), you will Assume The Position.”

We have Life 360 app where i can see where he is and vice versa. i will have to watch the app to see when he’s leaving though as the airport is not a saved place. Only the saved places will trigger an automatic notification to me and he knows this. So he’s making me watching the app to know when he’s leaving the airport, in addition to the spanking now too.

Fine. i don’t care!

“Yes Sir.”

And then i got another message that read, “And you’ll wear the (chastity) belt from now until I leave the airport tomorrow to. You will not orgasm at all!”

Fine. i don’t care about that either!

“Yes Sir.”

And i put it on, even though i contemplated not doing it. While he won’t know exactly when i put it on or take it off, he will know if i don’t wear it. The belt leaves indentation marks on my skin that would be missing if i were to not wear it. The indentations are not permanent, and the belt doesn’t hurt but it does have to be tight enough to be effective. So it presses against my waist line, and leaves marks. i have noticed there seems to be a correlation between how long i wear the belt to just how long the marks stay. So i almost have to wear it for the duration prescribed if i am to take it off when Sir leaves the airport (and for it to be long enough to have the marks still be present when he gets home).

And now we aren’t exactly talking. i’m not sure if it’s a lull in the conversation and communication, or if he’s that mad that he’s not speaking to me. Although i am pretty certain it’s just a lull. Either way, right now, i am happy for the break to recoup and regain my composure.

Tomorrow’s spanking won’t be easy, or light, or maintenance. It’s going to hurt. And i am ok with that… at least right now anyway. i’ll wait to see if or how badly i regret this tomorrow!

UPDATE:

i did discover, even last night, that Sir was speaking to me and said good night and that he loves me. (Just doesn’t love my anger!).

We talked more and i told him that i was mad at him, not his dad, which is why i told him NO that i would NOT tell his dad not to use our service and that he could pay for it himself.

To which, David started typing….. i saw the little bubbles. i got a bit anxious at his response as i was entirely sure that i should NOT have probably revisited this whole topic in the first place, but rather let it be what it was to be. But then also, i was openly telling him how mad i was and (while not in so many words…..) was also saying how wrong i thought David was in doing this.

Then i saw his response.

“In all your anger, have you forgotten all the money they’ve given us with (XY and Z). Not to mention, when I share codes with your family, you don’t seem to think that’s problematic. I don’t think what I’ve done is so egregious that it warrants your anger or defiance. You do not need to ever tell me No like that again.”

Ugh. He’s SO right! i have forgotten.

While i don’t necessarily agree with how he’s chosen to be kind and repay their graciousness, he’s not wrong at all. i am.

And i apologized. And i told him he is right.

To which he didn’t respond. But he didn’t need to. We both know where we both stand.

And i also know that a regretful, remorseful, raw butt will ensue. And to that end, we both know i will accept it, as it is appropriate to do so.

Ugh. Now i am dreading tomorrow….. but….

It is what it is now.

Hugs,

Marie

252 – Good girl, with Bad habits!

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 252 – Good girl, with Bad habits!

You may have noticed that quite a lot of our dynamic lately seems to be revolving around orgasm control. It’s not all we do, but it is a great motivator for me too.

In fact, you’ve heard the phrase, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” In that same vein, i’d say “the way to my heart is through orgasm denial.” i see it as a challenge to comply, to bend, be vulnerable, and to ultimately submit! i have to have self-control, determination, and use mind-over-matter to make good choices all the time.

Despite what may seem true, i have been surprised at how much of a positive motivator the chastity belt has become for me too. When it is on, i have no ability to stimulate myself let alone orgasm. Yet, i am constantly aware of the belt and constantly in a low state of arousal too. But when it’s off is the surprising part actually. i thought i would attack my clit the second it was vulnerable and open to the fresh air, but it is quite the opposite! The belt comes off, and i think, “it is a privilege to have the belt off. This puss is not yours to touch, by your own volition. You made a voluntary consensual choice! So respect those choices and don’t touch!”

And i don’t. At least for awhile anyway.

Then there are days like today….

i’m not entirely sure what prompted me to do so, but in the middle of the day, i texted David, “i know you know i am sexually turned on… a lot. What you may/may not realize is that i am intensely motivated by sexual acts, with the hope (but not expectation) of ending with an orgasm,”

i continued, “Over the years you’ve wanted me to be more competitive. When it comes to the quest to get an authorized orgasm, i am very competitive. i’ll do nearly anything you ask, if you’ll (possibly) reward me with an orgasm. Sir, i am equally turned on by the denial as the allowance, because i know it’s intentional on your part when you deny or allow me to orgasm. Of course, make no mistake, i love to orgasm, especially at your cock, tongue, or hand… in that order too!”

And i waited for a response.

i got a “Good! And yes, I already knew much of that, which is why you don’t get to orgasm as much as you’d like, but maybe now it will be even less.”

And then he went out of town for tonight. Just one night. He’s back tomorrow.

Then tonight i got a text saying, “you’ve been very good lately. I will allow you to masturbate and orgasm tonight if you want. But just one orgasm.”

“Oh yes of course i want! Thank you Sir! Yea for me!”

And i started to play. And i orgasmed really fast. Too fast really. i was bummed at how fast it happened. i had already talked to myself about how nice and slow i wanted to go, to be able to enjoy the moment and relax into it. But, it didn’t happen that way. Okay, whatever, it was what it was. So i just was grateful for the one and tried to ignore the annoyance i was feeling, and set about watching tv.

But then the tv show wasn’t that great, and my mind began to think. i thought about how he never said i couldn’t play with myself more than once, only that i couldn’t orgasm more than once.

While i had wanted to go slow and enjoy myself upfront and because i usually struggle to get myself to orgasm more than once in such short periods (David can pull as many orgasms from me in as short of a period as he ever desires!), i could play with myself AFTER instead of BEFORE the single permitted orgasm. While playing AFTER isn’t quite as anticipatory as it would have been (and the grand finale ending will be different), i could do this instead!

i can fondle and love on myself, inside and out, maybe learn how to get myself to the edge after one orgasm, and well, have fun this way too. All while never orgasming the second time.

No problem, challenge accepted! i got this! So i grabbed my favorite dildo and set about having fun.

Unfortunately it didn’t take long before i was getting so close to the edge, that even i was surprising myself.

It wasn’t much longer and i heard my head screaming, “S-T-O-P! Don’t go over! Don’t allow yourself this indulgence!” The problem was i didn’t want to stop, but i did want to be good!

So now an internal battle began….

My left hand kept moving the dildo in and out, while my right hand kept rubbing on my clit. My head said, “Just a little bit more…. Besides, this was a challenge and you can stop before you go over that edge. Push that ‘edge’ further out!”

Then my head also told me, “this is so good. Keep going! It will be alright. You got this!”

And i kept going. And going.

And then i suddenly recognized that desire inside me building. The one that becomes determined to get what i want. i wanted to keep going….. and going…. right over that edge. i knew i simply needed to go over that edge. Or at least i told myself that. i thought, “why stop now? Just GO over the edge already! Take this!”

And i did.

It felt SO good! i was feeling those endorphins course through me. It did indeed feel so damn good.

And then the high subsided and the moment of realization hit. i suddenly became sober in the reality of the moment and the question of “what have i done?!” was in my head.

i thought a minute… and the next question came into my head.….“Do i HAVE to tell David?”

And the immediate answer of, “YES, of course you have to!” came right back too.

And just like that my good and bad side both started to fight saying, “No you don’t have to tell him. He never has to know.”

“But i will know.”

“It’s your body! You can reward yourself if you need it. Besides, we didn’t even think this could actually happen. You so rarely ever have a second orgasm at your own hand in quick succession.”

“But i will know.”

“And if you tell him, you’ll likely have a red bottom shortly after he is home.”

“Yes, true. But i will know.”

“And when the permanent/fitted chastity belt finally comes in, the one you can wear 24/7 if he wants you to, it will likely be glued on your puss! Then you won’t get to touch it at all!”

“Also true. But i will know. And we have an honest relationship. i knew not to do this, and i just didn’t care. Now i have to own my situation and tell him!”

So i texted him and told him.

The response i got back was, “hmm.”

i think i may regret this decision by this time tomorrow! Or maybe i already regret it now!

Hugs,

Marie

238 – 1st spanking in 2022.

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 238 – 1st spanking in 2022.

It was bound to happen.

Me doing something that deserved discipline.

i screwed up.

And i really must say, i was relieved that this ended in discipline. NO, i didn’t WANT to be spanked, but i did deserve it. And thankfully, my Sir responded to the situation with the best solution possible.

He used the paddle. My ass was turned a very bright red tonight.

For the first time in more than 6-months, the paddle collided with my ass repeatedly. It was well overdue and frankly, more than once i had already deserved this but it wasn’t until today that i was disciplined for my actions.

And let me tell you…. It HURT!

W-H-A-T happened?

Yeah, so our son’s car needed new tires. We’ve talked about it for a few weeks already. It was decided that since the best place to get the tires was just 2-miles from my office, that today i would drive his car to work, get the new tires, and all would be good.

As i was packing up this morning to head out, i said goodbye and David said, “you are driving his car right?”

We had not spoken at all about this plan for about 2-days now and in that time, i had forgotten. It must have shown on my face as before i even responded verbally, David said, “you DO remember, right?”

i did not. He had to remind me by saying, “Son. Car. New tires. Today….”

Oh yeah. Ok. That.

“Yes, of course i am still driving his car and going to get new tires.”

An hour later, the new tires were on, i paid, and left.

i wasn’t but about 2-blocks away from the tire shop, headed to my office for the day, when my phone rang. It was David.

i answered and he said, “WHY did you use your credit card to pay for the tires?”

[He gets texts for any charge in excess of $200 on any of my cards…. He says it’s for security purposes, but i won’t lie, i think it’s also about keeping me on budget too. He while I don’t think i need him checking on me like this, it’s nothing i will ever get to be changed either. Ok, maybe another blog post topic here… back to this one though….]

At that very moment, i was confused. My exact thought was, “i wasn’t going to steal the tires. How else was i suppose to pay?”

Before i could respond aloud he said, “I told you to put it on their store credit card that we have so we would get 6-months no interest, no payments. There’s no reason to pay the money now if we don’t need to.”

Oh yeah. Ok. That. [Second time in 2-hours i have thought those words!]

This time though, i actually said the words aloud too. In addition, i also said, “i will call and see if it can be moved from my card to the store card.”

And what i heard back was, “Yes, you will! You need to see if you can fix this.”

i just said, “Yes Sir.”

With that, i heard a click. He hung up. i wasn’t surprised. i’d probably have done the same if things were reversed.

Not even 10-minutes later i get a text, “is it fixed?” i had barely had enough time to get back to my office and get the call made so i had not had enough time to get him [i think he assumed I would forget to call. Reasonable assumption given the way the morning was going!]

That’s when I had to say, “well… not exactly Sir.”

This is when i had to also tell him that the store had told me that David had to go to the store with the card or his ID directly because the card was officially in his name and even though we have a joint account, they can’t “just move a charge to another person’s card when the person isn’t here to accept the charge.” This is a pet peeve of mine. When it is a joint account in their system AND on the card, why exactly is it that i am not authorized to use it?! Whatever… back to this blog again….

And the response i got back from David was, “hmm”

Then some time later, David texted again, “are you saying I have to go fix this for you?”

“Unfortunately, Yes.”

“I see. Do I need the receipt/paperwork?”

“No.”

Another few minutes later, “I’m going now. This better not be a waste of my time!”

This is where i started to second-guess… what if the clerk i spoke to didn’t get the facts right, do i need to meet David over there now to explain my side, since i have the paperwork/ receipt, maybe i ought to go give it to David now…… Please Dear God let this all work out. Amen!

About 30-more minutes, “you are lucky. I got it fixed. But we will talk about this when you get home tonight.”

Thank you God!

“Thank you Sir. Understood.”

Not another thing was said until i was home, but not even immediately then either.

i was anxious about it as soon as i walked in the door and he could tell. i wasn’t sure if i should say something or not. i wasn’t sure if i were to say something, what exactly that would be either.

Nothing was said. At all. i began to wonder if he just forgot. Or maybe it was forgiven.

We ate dinner, started watching tv, and nothing. i began to be disappointed. I didn’t exactly want to be disciplined, but i knew if he did it, i fully deserved it. AND it would be of his own accord, as opposed to him role-playing the script i had set forth (as in how it was before.). This was a test for our entire D/s relationship actually! This was a pivotal form in the road, and I needed to be patient to see which path David would take.

As well, the opposite was true. If he did not mention the situation, act upon the discipline needed, and it was never mentioned again, i was going to have to accept that too.

Either way… i was sure i’d shed tears tonight …. i just wasn’t sure what the catalyst would be.

Then all of a sudden the one tv show he had turned on was over and he said, “ready to talk?”

“Yes Sir.”

“You agree a spanking is necessary, correct?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Then I will let the paddle speak for itself.”

“Yes Sir.”

So i Assumed The Position, for the first time in more than 6-months. And i waited. And i prayed. “Lord, please provide me with the ability to listen to David as he speaks. Please help me to accept this discipline with grace. Please help David to deliver the exact right number of spanks that will cause me remorse and regret, so i learn from this. Please help him to have confidence in his delivery, to know this is needed and good, and will bond us closer once again.”

And the door opened. Here we go…..

He picked up the paddle, that was resting in its place… on my butt. i immediately cringed and instinctively tensed all my muscles, expecting to immediately feel that first blow. Instead of feeling the paddle though, instead he spoke aloud.

“Are you ready for this?”

“i accept this, but i do not think i am ready for it.”

He asked why was i not ready and i said, “because it has been more than 6-months.”

He said, “Do you think it’s going to hurt?”

“i have NO doubt it will hurt.”

“Then let’s get to it.”

He knew i was consenting. He knew i knew it was deserved. He knew i knew he was my dominant Sir.

That was when i felt it. The paddle collided with my ass for the first time in 2022!

i flinched hard. i bit my bottom lip.

And the words, “oh Fuck that hurt!” formed on my lips. Thankfully i said it quiet enough he did not hear. He hates cuss words. And he especially would have hated me saying it with regard to this spanking. And even more especially with the first swat too! i was clearly NOT accepting this with grace and immediately knew i had to change my thoughts.

By the time i thought all that, another and another, and ANOTHER spank hit my uncovered bottom.

i heard him say, “So the next time I tell you to do something are you going to forget?”

Was i really this forgetful? Or am i selfish to where i just didn’t care enough to slow down enough to pay attention. Neither is a good answer.

Smack

SMACK!

S-M-A-C-K!!

“I asked you a question. Are you ignoring me? That is NOT a wise decision!”

i was NOT ignoring him, but rather trying to form words between the spanks. i find it hard to focus on the words as i am being spanked where my mind is racing with all sorts of things (as noted above), not to mention things like, “Do NOT move. Stay in position!”

i finally muttered, “i am not ignoring you Sir. i will remember next time.”

“Do you realize you would have cost us a lot of money if I couldn’t have fixed this?”

Smack

SMACK

“Yes Sir.”

That’s when he held the paddle against my ass for a second. Whenever he does that, i know he’s pausing the swats for a second and i was grateful for the slow down. This time though, it wasn’t a pause or a break, it was to give a punctuation mark to the next set of spanks. Without preamble, he pulled the paddle back and smacked me about 5-times in rather rapid succession.

To be clear, while the paddle had rained down on my pour naked ass quite frequently at this point, i was abundantly aware he was NOT using any real force. He was indeed “letting the paddle speak for itself.”

“And do you realize I asked you to do this because it was easy and convenient for both of us really? Me going up there to fix your problem was not ideal or convenient whatsoever!”

He pulled the paddle away and i flinched. i flinched without even getting hit yet. i just anticipated it and moved instinctively, as if on command.

He asked, “why are you flinching when the paddle isn’t even touching you?”

“Anticipation Sir.”

The tears were forming, but not yet flowing.

i was trying to cry. i wanted the tears to flow freely. Yes, it hurt me physically AND mentally to be spanked tonight but this was a GOOD hurt and a GOOD cry that was needed. i needed to feel the release of emotion.

As he then held the paddle against my ass, he asked me, “do you think you’ve learned? Will this happen again?”

i paused as I thought, “The tears haven’t flowed yet. i need him to keep going to get these tears and this release to come.” But then, is that me topping from the bottom again? Do i deserve to feel this cathartic emotional release? Do i trust him to know when enough is enough?

“Yes Sir, i have learned. No Sir, this will not happen again. i will pay more attention to you.”

“G-O-O-D!” he said, with the layering on of one more good, hard, and final SMACK of the paddle.

That’s when he sat me up and said, “we are done. You are forgiven. Now go swim in our pool! Get the sting out!”

“Thank you Sir. i love you!”

After confirming his love too, he grabbed my hand and we went outside to our backyard. He was fully dressed and i had nothing on at all. He motioned me toward the pool and said, “now go on in!” And so i did.

He sat on the chair and watched me swim naked. He took my picture at some point too. i have yet to see that picture. That’s ok.

We were both pleased.

i expected the tears were going to flow tonight. They never did, but nearly did. i am just grateful it was a good tearing-up and not a bad one! i am glad i got the very red, expected-to-be-sore-tomorrow ass that i deserved.

i am now (incredibly) hopeful that our D/s relationship is seemingly back on track… or maybe not on the same track, but a better one… time will tell. For the first time in 6-months, i am hopeful again too!

Cheers!

(i pray the first 2023 spanking post isn’t 6-months into the year! While we have been doing this now since late 2018, i didn’t blog a ton at first and didn’t actually start posting a “first of the year spank” post until 2020….. but if you want to read about my other firsts for that yesr, for at least for the few most recent years, here ya go: …..2021 – 1st spanking – Jan 10 and 1st spanking – 2020 – Jan 9 )

Hugs,

Marie

233 – i prayed for patience

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 233 – i prayed for patience

Quite a long time ago….. like nearly 20-years ago now, i prayed to God to teach me patience. After about a year of enduring situations that demanded patience, i heard myself begging God to let me take back that same prayer… “Yeah, God… uhm… can we forget we had this little talk, shall we?”

i hated it! The only way to learn patience is to experience it….. to be patient. And wait.

To this day, i do not think God forgot. i think He merely laughed. And He put me into other various situations to continue to test my endurance… and patience.

Patience often means self control, which also means self discipline. i don’t mean self discipline as in self inflicted spankings, but rather more like controlling myself to avoid getting into a situation needing physical discipline at all.

Self discipline and self control are very much related and/or the same thing, but so is patience really. We all must learn these virtues throughout life. It’s what keeps us out of trouble.

So all of this can be hard under normal circumstances but add to it a D/s dynamic and it [being patience!] becomes very nearly required and yet… sometimes impossible.

i find myself having to exert a LOT of patience these days as i wait on David to decide if/when he wants to be in an (active) D/s relationship…. And let me tell you, it is pure torture.

But today i see it is already starting to payoff. i know what you are thinking…. “It’s just been a few days!”

But that’s because i only just told you about it. i just didn’t have the courage to tell you. Or maybe it was more like, i didn’t want to admit it… even to myself!

We started not (actively) living this lifestyle just after Christmas. It wasn’t a particular day or time that we decided to stop but rather the D/s activities just started to fade away over time.

So i have been praying and waiting and enduring …. And practiced building PATIENCE…

Today, i saw a small change. But it felt huge!

David & i were at an event with several friends. David made a comment to one of the friends where he spoke about something and i was quick to correct him. i didn’t mean to snap, but i had information that he didn’t and i blurted it out, effectively making him look (and probably feel) inadequate.

He looked sternly at me where in a hushed voice which was clearly audible for only my ears, he said, “you don’t need to be so snarky!”

i just responded with, “Yes. i agree.”

And i stopped.

Later in the day, hours after the event concluded, out of the blue he texted, “I noticed you listened.”

i knew what he was referring to immediately and i smiled. He noticed! i texted back, “as i mentioned, i intent to be the best submissive wife i can be. If you choose to enforce it, i would love that. But i know it needs to be your decision too.”

A minute later, i saw the tell tale blinking …. The Dots….. he was texting back….

And i waited more…. Exercising more patience!

That’s when his message came through and it said, “I likely will.”

And i feel confident, he will. Just can’t wait til he does…..

Ok.

i know.

i have to.

Wait.

BE PATIENT!

Hugs,

Marie