Skip to main content

26 – i asked for a spanking


Technically speaking, i asked David to tell me “how serious” he was about DD, because if he wasn’t, i wanted to know and if he was.. well,…. i wanted to know.

i didn’t have the courage to actually ask him face-to-face, so i did what everyone else would do… i texted. 😉

Me: “so i understand why we’ve gotten away from DD as of late, but i miss it. And i understand if you say no, but if you are still wanting this type of marriage/life, i am asking to be spanked.”

Silence.

No text back.

He hasn’t even read it. Yet.

Can i delete this? “Recall”?

Am I stupid? Why do i WANT to be spanked?

Seriously?

Oh …. he read it… oh there’s the three ….’s….he’s texting… . what will his answer be? Why do i feel anxious about this?

Sir: “there’s more to discipline than JUST spankings, you know?!”

Me:

thinking: oh wow. Careful what you ask for.

Texting: yes Sir.

Maybe things are back on track ….soon… ready or not, here we go! And that means a sore butt…. but happiness galore!

18 – Red Beans and Rice.

LONG post – sorry, but hopefully you will understand…. and read through anyway.  🙂

So today was NOT my best day.  And Sir is requiring a blog posting about it “now”.  So here i am, being vulnerable, and telling you how my day has gone.

USEFUL STORY FACTS.

Let me tell you about how my day started…

#1 – our son had a failed attempt to spend the night with a friend last night.  A friend was having a sleep over and at 3:00 am this morning son texted me asking to go get him and bring him home.  The (teen) boys had had a fight and he just wanted to leave.  So i was up earlyyyyy.  And i (basically) didn’t go back to sleep after getting him home and listening to him tell me the “whole story”.

#2 – a friend who lives out of State, who i haven’t seen in 10- years was in town for just the weekend and (after getting Sir’s approval) we agreed to get together this morning.   And i was super excited to get to see her today.

#3 – David was going to church early due to being on technical team and the original plan was that i would drop our son at church, and then go see said friend from there. (i was allowed to miss to go see my friend).


So with that.  i texted David at 8:00am to report the events with our son and to confirm it was okay for our son to skip church also.  Well, like all texting convos, while i was telling him about our son, he was asking me to do some tasks before i left.

He asked that i would rinse the RED BEANS and put them in water to soak.  And if i did that, the beans would then be ready to go when he was home from church, so he would set them to cooking to be ready for tonight’s dinner.

He proceeded to give me explicit directions on EXACTLY what to do to get the beans soaking in the way he wanted them.  This was all via text and between me saying, “yes Sir” i would also write more about our son’s mishaps that occurred overnight and got permission to allow our son to sleep in and also miss church.

So with that,  i went to the shower, dressed, and left the house.  Went to meet my friend.  Off and on texting with Sir about having fun, etc.

And a bit later,  i received a text from Sir that said, “Forget something??” after he had gotten home from church.

Oh crap.  i forgot the beans.  How to respond?  NO WAY i can deny that i didn’t know how to do it.  He texted EVERY step.  

i responded, “Yes Sir.  i did.  i forgot the beans.  i’m so very sorry”.

To which i received a text saying “What ELSE?

What else?!  Uhmm.  NO idea…. Yikes.

i responded, “i’m not sure i know of anything else Sir.”

To which i received a text saying, “Your Collar?!”

(i have a collar that while it’s not been exactly or explicitly made clear when it is expected to be on or off, i basically “just know”.  And it is basically, “All the time, but especially when leaving the house”.  So i knew this was a time i should have worn it!)

Oh double crap.  i clearly wasn’t thinking about anything Sir wanted or expected when i was dressing and leaving to meet with my friend!

i responded, “yes Sir.  i have failed to wear it today.  i’m sorry.”

To which i received a “Hmm” text back.  Oh triple crap.  NOT good!

Well, he didn’t text again.  And the entire thing weighed heavy on my mind the rest of my friend meeting.  And i texted, “i’m heading home now” at the conclusion of our meeting.

And i got a text back that said, “You need to stop and buy a bag of Red beans.”

“Yes Sir”.

i did.

And with that, Sir greets me and says, “I’m going to take a nap.  We will deal with you after that!”

The waiting continues.  The weight on my mind is NOT alleviated at ALL yet.

After Sir gets up, he says, “Go to the bedroom, take off all your clothes, put ON YOUR COLLAR and wait for me on the bed.  I’m going to order pizza so we have SOMETHING to eat for dinner!”

Five very long minutes later…..

He comes in, with the bag of red beans that i had bought, and says, “You’ve had trouble listening and follow through with tasks today. When I tell you to do something, I expect it to be done.  Now you have to learn a lesson.”

And he proceeded to pour the beans onto the floor, near the wall.   He points to it.  He says “Kneel.  Now.  Put your nose to the wall.  You will be here until the pizza is delivered.”

And he left.

WELL – the first thoughts i had was, “This isn’t as bad as i feared.  In fact, i’m not sure this will be any consequence or punishment at all!”  But that feeling did NOT last long!

The minutes ticked away.  My knees started to feel it.  i shifted my weight from left to right.  i thought, “Wow, that hurt!” but i also felt the beans “move”.  Well, i wasn’t too sure how Sir would respond if he came back and found that the beans were basically NOT under my knees.  So i leaned back, pushed them together in a cohesive pile, and went back to position.

OH MY GOSH.  MISTAKE.  THAT HURT!

And i waited.  My back was starting to hurt from leaning into the wall for my nose to touch.  So now my knees AND my back hurt.

And he came back.  He asked, “How are we doing??”  i had NO real idea how to respond.  i worried that saying i was in pain would seem like a complaint, but to NOT say that would be a lie.  So i opted for the truth to which he responded with, “GOOD!”

That’s when he slipped his fingers between my legs and i squirmed.  OUCH.  That squirm made the beans shift and sent pain through my knees.  He saw the movement and said, “DO NOT MOVE! And don’t even think of Coming!”.  He rubbed my clit and it was wet in an instant.  i always get wet when he touches me.  And then he pushed a finger in my ass.  In. Out.  In. Out.  Deeper in.  All the way out.  Faster in.  Faster out.

My head leaned back.  i could feel the orgasm building.  And he said, “Nose on the wall!  I said do NOT move!” and he pulled fingers out and slapped my ass.  Over and over.  And while it didn’t hurt, it did a nice warm-up too!  And i did not and was not allowed to cum.

And he left.

And i waited.  And the beans shifted.  So i shuffled them back together.  Again.  And IT HURT!  You’d think i’d have learned the first time!  But no, i didn’t.  This time, tears came to my eyes when i made myself get back in place.

45-long-minutes-later, i heard the door bell ring.  i was never so happy to hear that bell!

And just a couple of minutes after that, Sir came in and asked, “Have you learned that you need to remember to do as i ask?”

“Oh yes, Sir, i have!”

“Do your knees hurt?”

“Oh yes, Sir, they do!”

“Good!” (then he told me to stand, gave me forgiveness kisses and hugs) and he also said, “Now get dressed, get a Ziploc and clean up the beans.  Do not throw them away.  Keep them.  i may need to repeat this at some point!  Then take a picture of your knees.  Keep it as a reminder.  And let’s go eat dinner… albeit PIZZA and NOT red beans and rice!”

“Yes Sir”

And we ate Pizza.   Afterward he said, “Now go blog about this.  I want you to remember this! and post the Picture with it”

In case you are wondering, YES, those are my knees in this picture above.  (Sexy, right?! LOL).  And 2-hours later, they are still indented, although not as bad.  And they still sting too!

Red beans will be tomorrow’s meal.  And i hope to NEVER have this repeated.

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie

16 – Submit even when you aren’t “Feeling it”

i don’t know WHY i was having a “bad day”…. But i was.  Yesterday, i wasn’t “feeling it”.  i wasn’t feeling work, cooking, eating, nothing.  i just kinda wanted to be alone in my alone world.  In fact, i was feeling quite selfish overall.  i didn’t really recognize it for what it was until Sir pointed it out to me.

He said, “You are having a lot of trouble with this Submission thing today!”  And my first thought was, “No I’m not!”.  (Notice the capital “I”?? Read this post about that: https://wordpress.com/post/lovingdisciplinelife.com/69).

While i didn’t say it, it was true.  And i didn’t even realize it at the time either.

But he would be right.

So let me back up to the morning….. rewind…..  yesterday morning….

i was horny.  He knew it.  And he had to leave before me.  So he told me to masturbate.  But because we are doing Orgasm control too (see this post for more on that: https://wordpress.com/post/lovingdisciplinelife.com/95), he told me i had to “Masturbate to the edge, but DO NOT CUM, 4 x’s on repeat and THEN ask permission to cum.”

So that’s exactly what i did.  And he said i could.  And i was SO thankful.  i wouldn’t have been happy at all if he’d said no.  But alas, he didn’t, so i did.  And boy was it sooooo nice!

But THEN, he texted about 2-minutes later and said, “But now you have to wear the tack bra for having masturbated 2-days ago without permission.”  (Which i had and he busted me on!).

i begged, “NO please, Sir.  i really need to focus at work today and i don’t want to have to wear that.  Can i just wear it from the time i get home?!” And he did (Thankfully) relent.

And nothing else was said about it.  And my work day was stressful.  i came home tired and feeling so tired.  And since NOTHING else had been said about it, when i got home,  i didn’t put on the tack bra.

Then an hour later, i got in my favorite PJ’s (NOT his favorite – pants, top, made of cotton, super soft, but super “mom” and not at all “sexy”).  And didn’t say a word, just climbed into bed to play on my ipad a bit.

THAT was when he came in and told me i was struggling to be submissive.  i think he knew i didn’t have the tack bra on.  But he more-or-less let it go.  And i was happy.

Then today came….

And i felt guilty.  i felt very un-submissive in my behavior yesterday.  So without being told or asked, i just put on the tack bra anyway.

Now you have to understand, this was **THE** first time i’d actually been told to wear it since it was made.  But he told me, “If you make it, you better be prepared to wear it!” – and i wasn’t!

At least last night.  But today, i was determined to be a better submissive wife.

OUCH!

Okay, so putting it on wasn’t a big deal – not as much as i’d imagined anyway.  My imagination had gone crazy thinking how awful this would be.  So i went about getting ready for work.

And Sir texted me.  And here’s how the texting went:

Sir: “You should cum”.

Me: well, i had to clarify, “Is that a suggestion or a requirement?”

Sir:  one word, “Requirement”.

Me: “i’m not exactly feeling horny.  Do i have to?”

Sir:  “You need to start realizing that it doesn’t matter if you ‘feel’ it or not.  Now DO IT!”

Me:  “Yes Sir”.

Sir:  “Send me a picture”.

And the picture had the tack bra showing in it too.

Sir then texts:  “You put it on?  Without me telling you?”

Me: “Technically speaking, you DID tell me to put it on and i felt particularly unsubmissive in my actions and behaviors yesterday, and needed to make amends.”

Sir:  “Good girl!”

Me:  But oh-my-gosh – after moving around to masturbate and cum – when i wasn’t even horny and had to get myself to that point without ‘feeling it’ was PAINFUL with a tack bra on!  Holy H-E-Double Hocky sticks!

Me to Sir:  “Sir, i know you told me to wear this.  And technically, i have.  But it is SERIOUSLY hurting already and i haven’t left the house.  Can i have permission to NOT wear it to work, please?”

Sir:  “Because you recognize your own need for discipline and because you realize you did not follow orders without having to make me administer discipline, I will allow you to not wear it to work.  This time.  But get your attitude in check, and remember YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE AT ALL ANYMORE! or next time you WILL wear it out of the house until i tell you otherwise!”

Me:  “OH THANK YOU SIR!”

SO – Sir is seriously taking on the Dom role nicely.  i am having to learn that i am really NOT in control anymore.  i have to remember that even when i don’t ‘feel like it”, Sir just might be.  And i am not capital, but lower case.

And i love it!  i wouldn’t have it any other way.

Next time though – my breasts may take a beating, right along with my ass too.  Let’s hope i’ve learned my lesson and don’t “FEEL” particularly unsubmissive anytime too soon!
Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie

11 – Double Date with BFF’s

Sir and i went out on a double date last night with our BFF’s.  They are married and we met because our children were in kinder together (at a private Christian school no less!).  We have always had a mutual attraction, but never reallyyyyyyy acted on it.

First the backstory…

So our kids were in kindergarten and as you stand outside the classroom door, you get to know one another’s faces, as the school year drones on you say hello, and it takes off from there.

i’ve always thought she was hot.  She is probably **the** reason i wanted to kiss a woman.  But she is the elusive, flirty, look-but-do-NOT-touch, type.  When i am with her, i find myself with loads of JOY.  So i’ll call her “Joy” from now on.

Joy is one of those women who is older and wiser than her actual years. In fact, i’m about 10-years older than her, but to talk to us, you’d have NO idea that she wasn’t older than me.  She’s done more things, been to more places, and seen more wilder things that i’ve even dared to think about.  At least, so she says.

She and i quickly became BFF’s as our sons also became BFF’s.  It was convenient!  And we confided in one another about everything – i think.  i say ‘i think’ because the longer i know her (going on 10-years now!) the more i “find out” that she hadn’t told me before. Which isn’t bad, just eye opening in a “oh, i didn’t know THAT,” kind of way.

But because we talk openly, we talk about EVERYTHING.  She once told me that “if we weren’t married to our husbands, we would  make the perfect couple and i’d ask you to marry me!” and she was serious.  And what’s more, i pretty much agreed with her too!

We hung out, texted, called each other A LOT.  She started calling me, “HER MARIE”.  And told her husband that “When I’m with MY Marie, you have to take a backseat.  I’ll always come home to you, but she comes first!” WOW.  Bold.  (She’s NOT a submissive!)

Our husbands began to be friends too, because we would coordinate double-dates, just so that they were included but really, it was so we could be together too.

But that’s as far as it’s ever gone sexually too…… mostly anyway.

SEXTING with Joy.

She loves to sext me.  Joy brings a smile to my face when she sends me naughty pictures and asks for some in return.  She tells me she’s been with women before and loved it, but that her husband didn’t think it was ‘right’.  i’ve decided i think that was simply an ‘excuse’ to tell me so that she wouldn’t have to get naked in front of me, in person, and let me have my way with her (and vice versa).

Joy has sent me all sorts of naked porn and seductively dressed pictures.  i think she knows i’d love to taste her.  And that’s likely why when we are together, she flirts (heavily) but because we are ALWAYS in public, it would never go further than flirting.

Joy’s husband.

Let me tell you a bit about Joy’s husband.  Most of which is second-hand knowledge from Joy, because of course, i talk to Joy wayyyyy more than i do her husband.

Her husband is manly in that he works out, he’s done an Iron Man challenge, and he’s fit.  She says it is all for show though.  She says that on the inside, he is very much a puppy dog and does what she wants.  She likes to “be on top” but she also likes to “top from the bottom”. Maybe she’s a switch and ultimately not just a dominant or a submissive!

She hands him devices and tells him to use them. Once she and i went to a girl’s night out and she told me that she “put his cock in a cage, took the key (with her to our girl’s night), and told him to expect sexy pictures from us all night while we were out.” And then she laughed and told me, “he likes it! And I like being in control!”.

And then she proceeded to tell me that she/i would take turns going to the bathroom taking naughty pictures and sending them to him.  And we did.  But of course, we didn’t do this “together”.

So because he is physically fit (The Iron Man Challenge!) and he loves Iron on his cock apparently too, i’m going to call him “IRON” from now on.  So Joy and Iron are happily married with her telling him what to do… and in some ways.. telling me what to do too.

Fantasy date nights.

Joy has told me she wanted us to set up a date with each of our husbands, at separate restaurants, but on the same day and time.  They would think they were going to dinner with their wife. But THEN when it came time to go out, we would tell them we had to drive separate cars (not sure how i’d have ever managed to convince Sir that while we are going to the same place, we have to drive separate cars!?).

And each of her/i would go to the “other husband’s” restaurant.  And act, look, talk as if we are married to that husband.  So she would go meet Sir and i would go meet Iron.  And when we were together with the other one’s husband, we would touch, kiss, and ‘act married’ to that one.

We’ve never actually done that because at the time she suggested it, i wasn’t too sure how much Iron and i would actually have in common or what we would ‘do’ or talk about.  And frankly, i was a bit worried that Iron would just get mad. David would likely be turned on and think it hot, but i wasn’t certain of that either.

SATURDAY REAL DATE NIGHT.

Last night Joy and Iron, and myself and Sir went to dinner and drinks altogether on a double-date. We went to a nice steak house and ate dinner, drank two bottles of wine, and went to the cigar room in the restaurant for a cocktail after that.  (i was drunk off my ass!)

When i get drunk, i get horny.  Okay, so i get horny pretty much anytime David is around, but still… it’s magnified when i’m drunk.  Okay, maybe not magnified at all… maybe just that i tell him more… i become more aggressive about it!

And at dinner, i was sitting next to Sir and put my hand on his leg.  i started rubbing his leg in a “i’m thinking of you” and “i love you” and a “massage” kind of way.  He seemed to like it.

And the drunker i got, the more bold i got.  i moved my hand up to his crotch and started rubbing on his cock.  i could feel it responding.  i could tell he liked it.

But that’s when he grabbed my hand, put it on my own leg, and said, “STOP!  You didn’t ask permission to touch my leg, let alone my cock!”.

i cringed. Ouch, that kinda hurt my ego.

And i whispered, “may i please touch your cock Sir?”  into his ear.

He said, “NO.  You should’ve asked first.  But you didn’t.  So you lost that privilege!”

Joy was observant though and noticed this exchange.  She looked at me and said, “are you okay?”

i said, “oh yes, i’m in trouble though.  i didn’t ask permission.”

And Sir said, “Most definitely in trouble!”

Joy said, “Didn’t ask permission for what?”

Sir said, “Tell her!” Despite texting and sexting a lot with Joy, i hadn’t told her about this new submissive dynamic we had now.

Me, “For touching his cock without permission.” And i looked down.

Joy laughed and said, “i hope the punishment fits the crime” and she winked.  i think she thinks i was in a ‘play/ fun kind of trouble’ and frankly, i wasn’t sure if she was right or not.  i’d have to wait and see.

Cigar room fun.

Have you ever smoked a cigar?  It creates a natural high from the nicotine.  So combine alcohol, cigar high, and horny-ness (is that a word?) together and what do you get?

i got Joy sitting in my lap and proclaiming how happy she was to have “Her Marie” now.

That’s when Sir said, “kiss her”.

i wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or Joy, but it could be interchangeable.  So she leaned in and pecked me on the lips.

Sir said, “That wasn’t much of a kiss”.

And she leaned in and KISSED ME.  i tasted her tongue.  i felt the heat between us.  i wanted more.  So i asked her if David could take our picture while we did that again.  She laughed and said, “sure.”  So i got to kiss her again.  And i got a picture too.  🙂

But … alas… that was it.  Done.  No more.  That was all she wrote.

Really?!  i was left feeling teased on a whole new level.

MAYBE NEXT TIME.

Sir said we should start having more double date nights.  And the next one maybe should be closer to home.  And maybe the one after that, we could come back to our home.  And maybe the one after THAT, he’d order me naked as soon as we hit the house and he would “strongly suggest” (because she would probably listen to Sir, but still want to be in control) that she use a toy on me.  And then the NEXT time, he’d tell me to lick her pussy until she came. And then…. and then…..

And that’s maybe when she’d let Iron out of his cage to play also.

Maybe.

One can hope.

One day.

One date.

Soon.

Maybe.

Or maybe not!

Hugs ~

Marie

9 – Why do i never capitalize i?

Hello ~

You may have noticed i don’t capitalize “I” when i speak about me.  i thought this might be a good time to explain why i never capitalize “I”.

In short – Submission at its fullest.

And before you ask, NO, i’m not being “made” to have the lower case i.  This is a choice.  This is my small act of service and gratitude that when i type “I”, i have to stop and think and remember my place.

i learned to type in a class in high school.  And i’m now in my 40’s.  So hitting the “SHIFT” key to type “I” is a natural habit of mine after all these years.  But when i embraced this DD lifestyle, i wanted things to be different.  i wanted change in my life.  And this was my small act that causes me to stop, think, and consider how small “I” am.  And how small i should be too!

Both in the world and in my home life, i am small.  i don’t want to be big.  i don’t want to rule anything, including my house or my family.  i am a Christian and we go to church (most) weeks. i believe God is the ultimate Father and then comes my husband.  But frankly, to neither of God nor my husband do i want to be “BIG” so why would i have a “BIG” letter “I” if i recognize that i am small.

In the bible, Jesus declares himself as the “Great I AM”.  WOW.  What a statement!  Absolutely none of us would think we were as big as that “I”, right?!  So if Jesus/ God are first, and my husband is second, aren’t i just a lower case i?!

Now don’t misunderstand me, i’m not oppressed or forced into this lifestyle.  i do this willingly, including putting the small i in my posts.  In fact, my husband asks my opinion on quite a lot of things.  Or maybe he doesn’t word it like “what’s your opinion on XYZ?” But he often says, “What do you think about XYZ?”  Or “What time will you be home?”.  Now sometimes i’d rather not even have THAT choice, but i understand he can’t possibly make EVERY-SINGLE-DECISION-EVER.

But i have no desire to be a “slave”.  i think there’s some profound differences between slave and sub.  While a slave is a sub, a sub is not necessarily a slave.  And i believe i am a sub but not a slave.  i may one day desire to be there.  In fact, there are facets about it that truly turn me on and maybe as a ‘fantasy role-play’ or a ‘date night activity’ we could try it out, but i’m not entirely sure how anyone can actually live as a slave 24/7.  That seems rather taxing on everyone!

So how do i exactly define the differences between the sub and the slave?  Here’s my official definition – with help from Mr. Webster too  🙂 –

And speaking of Webster –

here’s the official definition of  “Submissive”:

sub·mis·sive

səbˈmisiv/

adjective

adjective: submissive

  1. ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive

And here is the official definition of “Slave”:

slave

slāv/

noun

noun: slave; plural noun: slaves

  1. a person who is the legal property of another and is forced to obey them
    • a person who works very hard without proper remuneration or appreciation.
    • “by the time I was ten, I had become her slave, doing all the housework”
    • a person who is excessively dependent upon or controlled by something.
    • “the poorest people of the world are slaves to the banks”
    • a device, or part of one, directly controlled by another.
    • “a slave cassette deck”
    • an ant captured in its pupal state by an ant of another species, for which it becomes a worker.

So what’s the difference?

A submissive is “ready to conform” – WILLINGNESS

And a Slave is “forced to obey” – (perhaps…) UNWILLING.

While i am completely aware that “Slaves” in this day and age are WILLING and not forced, that’s not exactly my point here.  i think the point here is CHOICE.  And sometimes i have ‘choices’ that i want to make.  A slave doesn’t really have ANY choices.  Right?

Additionally a submissive (sometimes) get permission when they ask, a slave isn’t even allowed to ask.

That’s why i am submissive and not the Alpha or “upper case” i, but i am me.

So what does that mean?  Well, back to where i started…. The lower case letters are inferior or not as important as the capital ones.  But they still have a place and participate in the process.  And Upper Case Letters Start Words, Proper Names and Places, and Denote Significance.  (see what i did with the upper case letters there?!).

Oh – and let’s not forget how the lower case letters always FOLLOW the upper case.  So you might say that i am following I, which is obviously NOT ME.

Additionally, without a “period” at the end of the sentence followed with an upper case letter to start the next sentence, we might not completely be always aware where one sentence ends and the other begins.  So while i don’t really want to ‘stand alone’ and i want to ‘not know where (my husband) ends and i start’ , but frankly, i am not as important.  Right?

So if lower i is inferior to the capital I, then the capital I should be in charge and rule things.  And i believe that is David, and not “i”.  God (and David) can use the capital I, but i’ll chose to use the lower i.  And it’s a constant reminder as i type to NOT hit the shift key first.  🙂

What are your thoughts?  Agree or disagree …. feel free to give your opinions…please just disagree kindly too.

Hugs and Kisses ~