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215 – My 50th Birthday Gifts

My 50th birthday is on Thanksgiving this year. November 25. Next week. Fast approaching. In the month of NO-orgasm-VEMBER.

It’s unclear and Sir is still undecided if i will be allowed to orgasm on my birthday or not.

Last week we were talking about what gifts i would like to receive for my birthday. My immediate response was, “An explosive orgasm.”

To which he responded, “what else?”

i said, “a new purse please Sir.”

And he said, “A new purse it shall be.”

When i asked, “what about the orgasm?” his response was, “I’m undecided about that. I asked what gifts you’d like to receive, and your orgasm is definitely a gift I could give, but then again… what month still remains on the calendar?”

At first i wasn’t sure if that was a rhetorical question or not but something told me i was supposed to respond, so i said, “November Sir.”

And his only word in response was, “E-X-A-C-T-L-Y.”

And that was the end of that discussion.

That will be the last we will discuss that. i am certain. And that’s ok. The gift of orgasm is indeed his to give, and i will wait until it is allowed. While it has now been TWO WEEKS since my last O, i accept it isn’t up to me when the next one happens.

i won’t lie, because it’s officially still NO-orgasm-vember, i kinda do NOT want David to allow it. But on the flip side, it IS my birthday and i only turn 50 ONCE, so i really DO want it! (And did i already mention….it’s already been TWO-WHOLE-WEEKS since my last O. And i don’t remember the last time i went this long……. Like ever! And still almost another week…. Geez!)

If you think about it, your sexual pleasure and happiness truly IS a gift from your partner, and isn’t something you should feel entitled to. Always. In all sexual relationships, including vanilla ones.

But of course in most relationships, if you don’t get it from your partner, you seek it elsewhere…. By your own masturbating hand OR another partner OR both., because you feel entitled to it.

Admittedly, sometimes i can be the same way. But most of the time, i do indeed see it as a GIFT. (And after more than two weeks, it will be a BIG gift when i get to feel that pleasure again!)

What would YOU do if you were my Sir? Would you allow me to orgasm on my 50th or no??!!?

i thought of what i think is the perfect compromise…. (And i already told Sir about this, to which he laughed.. cuz he knows me THAT well!)

i suggested he make me wear Glory. And he makes me suck him hard. After which, he uses my ass hole to his pleasure. (There’s a big hole through the belt that allows him/me/anyone all access to that hole).

i suggested he fuck me hard and fast with that back hole, while i am on all 4’s. Neither of us touch my clit or pussy as it would be all locked up nice and tight!

But….

If i can orgasm without being touched AND while being locked in chastity then i can do so. Otherwise, no!

As i said before… he laughed. He knows i’d orgasm. Easily. Especially now when i am SO much in heat and need it!

He then said, “nice try!”

He then said, “by the time I allow you to orgasm, you could likely cum on my command without touching you anywhere at all!”

He THEN added, “you do realize we didn’t start this No-orgasm-vember on the first? You do realize I could chose to extend this into December in order to get the full 30-days I feel I am entitled to receive?” (There’s that word “entitled” again! But in this case, i think he IS entitled to use the word and to feel the emotion. i willingly submit to him, making things like my O fall under his purview!)

All this makes me think NO, i will NOT be orgasming on Thanksgiving…… aka, my 50th birthday!

And maybe not for awhile into December too!

So i’ll ask it again… if YOU held the gift of my orgasm in the palm of your hand, would you give it to me on:

A) Nov 25, my 50th birthday

B) Nov30, end of No-vember

C) Dec 6th, officially 30-days from the last O, OR

D) some other date at your discretion, to keep me guessing

???

Hugs,

Marie

23 – Cum on command AND only with permission

Can you cum on command? i’m not allowed to touch myself without permission, and neither am I allowed to cum without permission.  In fact, i’m officially in ‘orgasm training’.  For anyone not familiar with that, it means i ask permission to cum and i can only do so when Sir says “yes, you may cum now.”

The idea is something like Pavlov’s dogs and i’ve even read stories about women who can ‘cum on command’.  They hear the words “yes, you may cum now” and even if they are in the grocery store, not being aroused or touched, cum on command.

i’m not entirely sure how i feel about that.  i want to be submissive, but cumming in the grocery store on command?  hmmm. 

On the one hand, that’s hot.  That’s erotic.  And that is submission at its finest!  i mean, even your BODY submits.  Not JUST your mind.

On the other hand, i’m not a dog.  Literally speaking here.  i’m NOT a “Pavlovian dog”. 

For what’s its worth, i’d say i cum MORE now than i did before.  Maybe it’s because David knows i’m not doing it on my own and maybe giving him that control is even more of a turn on?!  i dunno, but this is one happy sub.. until i cum in the grocery store without being touched! 

You?  Anyone want to cum on command?  Hot and sexy or dog-like?

Hugs,

Marie

14 – Pleasure to pain.. in the same day.

So i’ve had an interesting submissive day today … pain to pleasure…. in a mere 12 hours time too!

Let me tell you about my day….

i typically work from home on Wednesdays.  i am never able to get done what i need to at the office so i work from home every Wed to try to make up for it.  And the place won’t fall apart without me for ONE day.  But today i had to go in for a meeting at 10:00.  So i drug my feet and went there “late” (at 9:00).

Orgasm Control Training

But before i went, David took our son to school.  And we recently – like this week – jointly decided we want to start doing (my ) orgasm control at his discretion.

Since the DD decision, i’ve had to ask to masturbate but he hasn’t told me when i can or can not cum.  Until now.

i’ve read a lot of blogs now about it and there are people who can “cum on command“.  The blog post said, “Right there in the middle of the bread aisle”.   Interesting.  i’m not sure i want to cum in the bread aisle, but i thought it was an awesome display of submissiveness, so i wanted it.  YES, i asked for it!

Just a sidebar – i don’t know WHAT i was thinking when i agreed to this.  In fact, it was MY IDEA!  Sir said, “Careful what you wish for….” and i was like, “NO, i really want to do this for you, for us, and as a show of my submissiveness”.   WELL, in my HEAD that sounded awesome, and frankly, coming out of my mouth it did too.  And i was PROUD of my decision.

For about a whole minute.

That “Minute” was THE MINUTE i wanted to orgasm and Sir said no.  (WHAT?! NO?!?  You are kidding me, right?!?!).

But i digress… because THAT MINUTE was a few days ago…. so let me get back to this morning…..

So David took our son to school.  He told me to “Lay on the bed, with the rabbit toy, and watch porn.  Bring yourself to the EDGE and stop.  DO NOT CUM.  And do this the entire time i’m gone and i’ll tell you when to stop”.

Our son’s school is 20-minutes away – one way.  So for 40-minutes i had to watch porn, and use the vibrator on myself but DO NOT CUM.

(REALLY, what was i thinking?!?  Is it too late to retract my request to submit to Sir THIS MUCH?  Maybe i could just submit with my clothes ON!?!?!  YES?!?!?!  LOL.  Okayyyyyy…. fine… doing this thing).

When David got back, i was so insanely turned on.  i could only hope that he’d allow me to cum … soon…  like NOW.

My fear was that he’d not let me cum at all and i’d have to ‘get dressed and go to work now.’.  But, he did not disappoint.  He entered the bedroom and asked me if i had came while he was gone.  i was like, “NO, i promise i haven’t, but Pleaseeeeeee Sir, may i cum now?”

NO.

ME:  WHAT?!?!  PLEASE!?!?

And he touched my clit.  it was SO enlarged and swollen i almost jumped off the bed with the slightest touch.  Then he took the porn away.  Then he took the vibrator away.  And he played with me himself.  And he said, “CUM NOW”.  And i did.

And then i went to work.

The next thing i know, i go from pleasure to pain…. in the same day.

THEN THE PADDLE

spanking paddle

To tell you WHY i got paddled first…..

Sir and i have the same profession.  He works for a firm and i work for myself.  And from time to time, he helps me get through busy times at work by doing some review work for me.  (He volunteers and i always take him up on it.  He knows i need the help and he has the time and the skill set, so it is a win-win.  And i love him for it!).  So today was one of those days.

He reviewed two projects that were substantially the same, and when i got home, he was talking to me about the results.  Well, i got confused about which project he was talking about because – it seemed to me anyway – that he was talking back and forth about both of them and i couldn’t keep up with the conversation.

Now, you’d think HE would be frustrated with me… like a “Keep up!” kind of comment.  But i was frustrated with him!  i had to say, “Are you talking about X or Y? i have no idea what you are talking about!”.  And then he started talking.  And i said with a very annoyed tone, “WHAT are you talking about?!  i’m not listening until you clarify because i’m confused!”

So – WHAT i said was probably not allllll that bad — but the WAY i said it was so completely off base it wasn’t even funny.  As soon as it came out of my mouth, and i felt the annoyance in my body language and realized how it sounded, i knew it was wrong.

But Sir didn’t say anything, so i acted like nothing happened.

We finished our convo and i was about to head outside to play ball/ fetch with the dog.

And that’s when he stopped me and said, “Do you think you were annoyed with me?”

Me: “Uhmmm…. yes Sir”.

Him:  “Go to the bedroom”.

Oh geez – here we go….

i dropped my pants and put my hands on the bed, head down, feet on the floor, spread shoulder-width apart.

And i heard the bedside stand dresser draw open and close.  The Paddle.  Here it comes.

SMACK.

SMACK.

SMACK.

Me:  (OUCH) —- “Please Sir, i’m sorry.  i spoke to you poorly and let my frustration get the best of me.  i will not let….

SMACK.

SMACK.

SMACK.

ME:  “that happen again.”

SMACK.

Him:  “WHY are you lying to me?”

SMACK.

Me:  “What do you mean?  Please Sir…. i promise”

SMACK.

Him:  “I seriously doubt that you will ‘not let it happen again’”

ME:  “Sir, i will do my best to….”

SMACK

ME:  “… not let it happen again.”

SMACK.

ME:  (Tears in my eyes, squirming….), “Thank you Sir”

Him:  “That’s what I was waiting for.”

And he put the paddle away and held me in his arms and told me i was a Good Girl.

Back to Orgasm Control

With that, standing naked in the bedroom and in his arms, he reached down between my legs and put a finger inside me.

And said, “CUM NOW”.

And he pushed two fingers in and out and i grabbed his arm and held on to not fall.

And i came.  Twice.  THAT fast.

forced orgasm

In “THAT MINUTE”… or “THIS MINUTE” … or “NOW”.

Conclusion:

NO matter what, through pleasure AND pain, and back again, i am his and he is mine. i will always submit to him and he will always control me.

And i welcome tomorrow….

With a sore, red ass.

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie