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Popping the Cherry

Written by Marie on . Posted in Anal Sex, DD, Domestic Discipline, My Dominant Sir. No Comments on Popping the Cherry

So I lost my anal virginity last night. Is that a thing? I’m sure it’s not. And those of you that have been doing this for a good decade or so will just laugh at this milestone. But for me, this is a big deal. I’ve been training for a few weeks now. Sir has been pushing me quite hard. We were going to start earlier in December, so I could be ready by 2015, but life happened.

I was just excited that it didn’t hurt as much as I thought. It actually felt pretty good. I don’t know what that says about me. That I was silly enough to think that it would hurt, or smart enough to be happy that it didn’t.

So that was my Friday night. Several orgasms and my first anal intercourse. Hope you all had a nice night too. I’m looking forward to the rest of my weekend. We’re staying in as it is still negative temperatures outside and in the forecast. After a few job applications I am hoping to curl up with a book and some coffee. Baby cuddles and quickies sound like my perfect Saturday afternoon.

304 – in need of an attitude adjustment

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 304 – in need of an attitude adjustment

i have been in a testy and on-edge mood all day.

This morning, after my shower and before i was able to get dressed, David says, “lay on the bed.”

So i did. On my back. And i spread my legs. To which he said, “how do you know that’s what I wanted? Maybe you are about to be spanked.”

i didn’t move. i just smiled and said, “i guess i don’t know. Did i assume incorrectly SIR?”

To which he came down between my legs and said, “Maybe.”

But then his tongue collided with my clit and i was suddenly reassured that i did NOT assume incorrectly! i suddenly felt alert and very much alive.

As his tongue moved, my body responded. i was wet and moaning in pleasure. i asked him to stick his fingers inside me and he did.

I started moving my hips and getting myself off on his fingers.

i eeked out various words, inc,using, “This feels so good Sir.” And “thank you Sir” and “please don’t stop Sir.”

And finally i felt my orgasm getting to the edge when i said, “i am about to orgasm.” (And about a minute’ish later is when i always ask permission to orgasm, but this is the “warning” that i am THAT close… and even when i do ask, frequently i don’t hold it in. But i have never been punished for orgasming when i get there like this.)

That’s when he IMMEDIATELY pulled his fingers out of my pussy hole, pulled his tongue away from my clit, and said, “No. NO, you are NOT going to orgasm.”

i just stared at him. In my mind i was thinking, “WTF?!” and aloud, i actually said nothing.

i was in utter shock. He has never stopped and never not allowed me to orgasm. But sometimes he does mess with me, so i thought that was likely the case.

He smiled, let out a bit of a chuckle and said, “go put the belt on. You won’t be orgasming this morning.”

i just stared at him more. And then i said, “you can’t be serious?”

That’s when he grabbed my ankles, pulled me to the edge of the bed, and said, “I’m very serious. Get up, go get the belt on, and bring me the key.”

And that was all it took….. i was officially in a bad mood. But i did as told. Under protest of course.

He laughed at me and said, “That’s not what you wanted to hear, was it?”

“No Sir.”

He laughed more and said, “well, it’s going to be all that you get. Get ready to have a good day!”

i got dressed slowly …… hoping he’d come in and change his mind. It didn’t happen.

By the time i was at work, i was in a cranky ass mood. About an hour later, i texted David asking when i would be able to take the belt off. And he responded with a question, “When will you stop being a pissy little baby?” (Aka: when was i going to stop pouting about it already?)

i didn’t respond for a good bit and finally said, “Good question Sir. i may need an attitude adjustment.”

i wasn’t sure if i wanted to be spanked, in the belt (or not), or just be left alone to get my shit together on my own. All i knew for sure was i definitely needed an attitude adjustment. Or an orgasm. Or both.

Needless to say… David has ignored the fact i am stillllllll in the belt and stilllllll have not orgasmed. He is probably waiting for me to change my attitude by myself, which has yet to happen but is slowly starting to creep in. But i suspect if i don’t get it together soon, i may be receiving a spanking after all…. Or be stuck in the belt until further notice…. Or both.

And i am still sitting in the belt now, No orgasm. No release of ANY kind. It is 8pm… more than 12-hours at this point.

i may well be sleeping in the belt. F-I-N-E.

And … tomorrow is Friday. Yet another opportunity for Maintenance. Probably going to happen this week for sure i think. And probably not an “easy” maintenance if i were to guess, especially after today’s attitude problems. Ugh.

Come to think of it… i may be in the belt for a long time still.… possibly much of the weekend. F-I-N-E!

Hugs,

Marie

293 – Submission and Belt Rules

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. 4 Comments on 293 – Submission and Belt Rules

We are not ones who are super big on D/s contracts, writing down the rules, or otherwise posting them. That said, i do have rules and we do have process/procedures. We just didn’t ever take time to sit and write it all down to make it official/formal.

Recently i was surfing the internet and came across a site (www.BeltedGirls.com) where i found a set of rules that a belted girl, along with her husband, documented for her “Submission & Belt Rules.”

i rather love her rules and it seems to say everything that i would, if i were to put into writing my “rules.”

Here are the Submission and Belt Rules:

i rather liked these rules so much that i showed it to David. Sir’s response was, “Sounds about spot on.”

We didn’t talk much more about it really, but i think when i adjust to the new permanent/ more durable belt, these rules will become our rules too.

1. The belt can come off when exercising.
2. Husband will hold the key.
3. Husband controls when I’m going to orgasm
4. Husband controls when the belt comes off and I will not expect penetration just because its off
5. The belt will keep me from masturbating when he is away or I am away from him.
6. To receive pleasure (his cock) then I must earn it.
7. I will be ready to please him whenever, however and as often as he desires, with or without the belt on.
8. I will not beg him to remove the belt but will learn that it is a privilege to have it off.
9. I will not reach orgasm unless I have explicit permission from my husband.
10. I must tell my husband if I have an orgasm without his permission. This is disrespectful to him. Always.
11. I will never fondle myself or use toys in any manner unless he tells me to or gives explicit approval to do so.
12. My husband’s job is to make sure that I am shaven to his liking. If not, then he will be allowed to shave me, if he wishes to do so, and discipline me accordingly.
13. Each week I will receive maintenance spankings out of love as a reminder that he is in control, which may or may not occur with the belt on.
14. Breaking any of these rules results in punishment.

There are a few alterations that i/we would make to a few of these rules, as follows:

#4 – While the essence of this is absolutely spot on, i’d maybe make the first part more emphasized. Husband is ALWAYS in control of when the belt is on or off.

#5 – i’d rephrase this to simply say, “The belt will keep me from masturbating.” Period. The end. Delete the entire last part of that because whether it is on, with or without him present, it will keep me from masturbating. Always. (And it definitely does that!)

#6 – i would make a slight addition to have this read “To receive pleasure (his cock) and be allowed to orgasm i must earn it.”

Those are all slight adjustments and, even without those changes, the essence is still spot on!

But the one rule that hit me and sunk in the most was #8….

8. I will not beg him to remove the belt but will learn that it is a privilege to have it off.

With just my experiences of continuous wear to date, this has already become one of the hardest for me to adhere to. So it stands to reason, that with continuous/ long term wear with the permanent (more durable) belt, i will likely always struggle with this one rule over all the others!

i have told David i intend to expand the “will not beg” part to read more like, “i will not beg for the Belt to be removed unless i can prove or show why it is completely necessary.” That may be what the original author intended as well, but it wasn’t entirely clear.

The beg part is truly what i have already failed miserably at. When i have the CB off, i find i yearn to have it on and vice versa too! And when it’s on, i talk about it ALL the time… asking David “ready to give me the key??” ….To allow me to take it off. Honestly it gets to the point of annoying for us both! i admit that it even annoys me, even though i can’t seem to resist (and my will power fails).

So i have now told David that i think i need to change that behavior. When it goes on, it stays on until David decides to have it taken off. Period. The end.

He knows it’s on when it’s on. In fact, he ordered it on! He won’t forget.

And even “if” he were to forget, when we are apart, when we are back again together he will know as he will see it. When we sleep, i am always naked except when the belt is on. And he will see it. And even “if” he were to forget, …. Well… i know he won’t. So that “if” by some strange happenstance, odd, and truly not likely situation, he has forgotten – he will instantly be reminded.

That means there is NO reason to talk about it, remind him, or beg for it to otherwise be taken off.

That brings us to that last part about how i will not beg for it to come off…. “unless i can prove or show why it is completely necessary.” means is that the belt has to come off for a particular and unavoidable, probably an emergency, situation.

Maybe one example of it being “completely necessary,” example, would be a belt malfunction. Maybe a screw comes lose and needs to be retightened. Or maybe a screw comes out altogether and without reattaching it, the Belt could fall apart and/or fall off.

Another possibility might be if it is ill-fitting. Maybe the belt pinches, binds, or otherwise causes an injured spot to appear on my skin. This is a real possibility but once i get the settings correct for band width or length, and the tightness adjustments made, this is not too likely. Yet it is possible for sure.

Another example would be if/when i go through a security screening machine. One looking for metal. Obviously the machine is looking to find guns and knives or other similar weapons, and clearly NOT looking to find a chastity belt (!!). Can you imagine what an awkward situation that would be?! Of course, this isn’t likely to happen as an “emergency situation” though either. We will likely always know ahead of time and plan accordingly.

So honestly, there aren’t many reasons to have to cause me to EVER have to beg for it off.

So WHY then do i sometimes do just that… beg for it to be off?!

Good question!

After the new belt arrived (and we figured out the lock did fit albeit a bit differently than we expected… another post!) the belt went on.

It went on about 5’ish pm on Friday evening, and it is now Sunday morning. It has been about 36-hours now, with no clear or obvious-to-me end in sight.

And while it does not hurt, pinch, or have any other belt malfunction reason for me to have a legit reason to BEG TO HAVE IT OFF, i already (sort of) did just that.

Are you asking, “how do you sort of beg?” Yah, so, i knew i wasn’t supposed to beg. But i wanted to ask for it off too.

i knew he’d ask, “why?” As in “for what legit reason are you asking?”. i also knew i didn’t have a reason. In fact, when i asked myself that question, the only real answer i could think of was because i am not used to wearing it as of late …..AND…. because i wanted to.

i wanted to ask to have it off because i didn’t like the “game” anymore. i wanted to take back the control of my own sex and my own body. Saying it another way, i wanted to be selfish and NOT be submissive at least in this small way.

So i was hanging around David yesterday morning (after 12-hours of wear) a bit longer than usual, trying to think up a good way to ask (but not beg), when he noticed. He even told ME, “you want the belt off, don’t you?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Why?” < – see, i told you!

i told him all of what i told you above. It didn’t fly. He said, “uh, yeah. So the answer is no. You don’t need to have that control. You just want it. And I’m saying no.”

Then again after lunch (18-hours of wear), David asked me, “how you doing?” Since our son is home for the Christmas break, i assumed David was speaking in code. i responded with, “Yes. Overall. But i wouldn’t mind if it came off.”

He said, “I said no. I meant no. I only asked since it’s a new belt and wanted to be sure you were ok.”

Well….. so… the keys to the lock are sitting on the bathroom counter, and i said, “i could just use the keys, you know.”

And his immediate response was, “And I could just use the crop too… You Know!”

i paused a second and said, “and then i suppose the belt will just go right back on too.”

While he didn’t even much respond to that comment (as i believe he took it to be rhetorical in nature), he did say, “We’ve spent enough money on this, and waited long enough for its delivery, that you should know….you WILL be wearing it! Get used to it!”

The way he said it, i wondered if he had an exact plan. So i inquired. His words came back to me with, “No, I don’t have a full plan. But it will come together soon. What I know for sure is this is going to end up being your new normal.”

Sucking cock while in belt

THEN after dinner (24-hours of continuous wear), i was sitting on the couch watching tv with him. i grabbed up his arm and wrapped it around my shoulders, like you would a nice warm blanket, just to be wrapped up in “him.”

He didn’t just let his arm rest on my shoulder though. He then pressed downward, causing my face to be guided to his crotch. His pants were still on and he laughed saying, “oops. How did that happen?”

i looked up at him and smiled. And pulled his zipper down and started sucking his cock hard. After some time of that, he pulled me back and asked, “how was that? Want out of your belt now?!”

i said, “Yes Sir, i do. i want to have the belt off, be allowed to sit down on and ride your hard cock… to be able to take advantage of what i just created.”

He slapped a butt cheek and said, “No. Not tonight. But this was good, thank you!” As he zipped his pants back, he laughed more. Then added, “now let’s watch the rest of our tv show together.” i felt my puss dripping juices into the dome shield that covered her.

New normal

i suspect i will now find my life to be more time IN belt than OUT. And that’s probably a good thing, but will require a fundamental mindset change that i will have to adjust to too.

Why will it be a good thing?

Because it forces me to submit in a very tangible and physical way. Sometimes i need to be reminded and reinforced who i submit to and why.

Like in the spirit of Rule #9 & #10 above, when i masturbate and/or orgasm without David present (or at his directive), it is disrespectful and selfish too.

When i do these things, i also become less agreeable to wanting to engage in sexual activities with him. i usually then have an “i already did that” attitude and a “i’m not interested now,” way too. None of which is how a married woman should act with her husband. Ever!

So being reminded to NOT be selfish, to NOT do sexual things by myself or to myself (without him present and telling me it is allowed), and to be under David’s authority is a better way of life.

i just have to change my mindset about wearing the belt. i have to learn to love the belt ON. And i know i truly will!

So. The belt is currently still on.

And i don’t know when it’s coming off. But i will work to NOT BEG at all. And to accept that THIS is good for me, and that i NEED to NOT be in control, and acknowledge in all ways i WANT David in control.

And i will PRAY he wants to finger, lick, fuck, or all of the above (!) at least one of my holes soon!

(i will do a full review of the new belt soon. Still creating thoughts and forming opinions about it.)

Hugs,

Marie

291 – My Toy or Your Tool

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 291 – My Toy or Your Tool

i did it. i made David mad today. i didn’t mean to. It just happened.

He was out of town for 24-hours .. yesterday left, home today. This morning he texted me good morning and i reciprocated. Then he asked me if i was excited about my “new toy” arriving today.

i got an email yesterday that FINALLY the new chastity belt was to be delivered today. i ordered it on July 10, and finally on December 15 it was to arrive. FIVE months in the making, Their website says “due to COVID supply chain issues, please allow 1-3 months for delivery.” And today was the day it FiNaLlY was scheduled to arrive.

Well. i was excited…..But not to have a “new toy” arrive. i felt like he was insulting me, or making fun of me, or something like that.

i suddenly thought, “this is all just a big game to him. And when he’s tired of playing it, he gets lax. And when he wants to play again, he goes 100% all in.”

And, in my own mind at least, it suddenly made sense to me that he doesn’t LIKE this dynamic and (probably) only does it to make me happy and satisfy my needs. While i should be happy he wants to please me and make me happy, at least some of the time, it makes me UNhappy to think he ONLY does it (“it” being Dominant) to make ME happy.

Suddenly i couldn’t decide if i was sad, hurt, mad, confused, or what! Maybe hurt is best. i couldn’t believe i have been so stupid for so long now and not known or realized he thinks this is all just one big game.

So.

i asked him. About how serious he is about our dynamic.

But.

Not quite that simple either. If it had been, i probably wouldn’t have made him mad.

What i wrote was…..

I guess it may be a “toy” but I think of it as more than that. I think of it as a better way of life and marriage. I think the same about the paddle, cane, and crop. And even my collars.

And i then also wrote…..

I think if you thought of them as your tool(s), instead of my toys(s), things would be that much better.

THAT was when he responded back.

“Fuck you.”

Ahh crap. This isn’t how i should have done this at all.

And i immediately apologized. But. The damage was done.

i genuinely didn’t mean to cause a fight. i thought by leading with “I think” it would be how I THINK. But he took it as, “you should think” which was me telling him what to think or what to do.

That’s when i said…

I genuinely did NOT Intend to make you mad. I was very shocked to see your response. I’m sorry.

If you don’t like being Dominant, or using my toys, then just tell me so. That’s understandable. I just get confused when sometimes you are and sometimes you aren’t, and I just don’t know.

I’m sorry.

To which he didn’t respond for several hours. And when he did, there was nothing about any of this. That moment, along with the anger and any other emotion, had passed. It was as if it never happened at all.

When i got home, i found the package on my bed. i had actually forgotten about the delivery until I saw it.

i opened it up and was excited to see if it fit. And i found the lock on it is really not the right size. It’s hard to explain, but it’s a bit too tight and NOT easy to get on/off.

i decided to try to figure it out while the CB is NOT on my body and therefore not quite as hard to sort out. But then it was time for dinner and our son just got home from college today too, so i let it be. T

hat was when David asked me, “do you have it on?” And i said no, of course.

When he asked me why, i said, “because i can’t figure out the lock,” which confused him. After i showed him how it was not fitting on the belt very well, he tried it himself and agreed it wasn’t working well.

We let it go and we all went out to eat. In addition, David/i drank a bottle of wine. We enjoyed seeing our son and eating/drinking good together as a family again.

When we got home, David became determined that he would figure out the lock. He did research and found that it is a slight bit incorrectly sized and David ordered a new one on Amazon that (hopefully) will be better.

Then after he finished that, he comes in to me and says, “Don’t tell me I’m not serious about this (dynamic and being dominant) when I come home after relaxing and enjoying good wine to then spend nearly an hour researching how to get the right lock!”

So it wasn’t 100% forgotten from this morning like i had assumed.

Now i also think i exaggerated the whole situation from the morning in my head. i got myself in a tizzy for no reason, and provoked my Sir for another no good reason. over my assumption that “my toy” was a game.

i think maintaining 100% consistency about anything in life is difficult and hard to sustain. Maybe a “break” is good (for anything ) sometimes. It’s what you do after the break that matters.

Like if you work out 7-days a week, you’ll eventually burn out. You need a break, as long as you get back out there and go to it again. Same thing with a diet. You can’t live on a diet, but you can give yourself a pass sometimes to eat the dessert (or the glass of wine) and enjoy it.

So maybe David needs a break sometimes. i may well need a break sometimes too actually.

And maybe he didn’t think of the new CB as “my toy” at all. Maybe he was just messing with me and texting that way to be fun and cut up. Who knows! What i do know is that he’s right… if he didn’t care or want to use “my toys” as “his tools” he wouldn’t have spent an hour figuring out the lock!

Maybe in his toolbox is a lot of physical “tools” but maybe some ones that are mental too. Maybe i need to get out of my own head already.

Won’t lie though,., i’m hoping (praying really!) that tomorrow…. a Friday… that we have maintenance. It could do a lot of good if David were to use the Tool (aka: paddle) on my bottom.

Hugs,

Marie

290 – Absent in spirit

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 290 – Absent in spirit

We have been busy.

With Life.

After the Kentucky trip, we have had….

  • A family wedding in Nashville (that was outdoors in 30 degree weather. Oh my!),
  • Thanksgiving (which was lovely and low key),
  • My 51st birthday (i’m not ashamed or embarrassed about admittedly my age),
  • Trip to see our son in college (nice weekend with him),
  • My firm’s Christmas party (at our house with 22-people here, David cooked amazing food for it too. i didn’t make him, he wanted to. It was his gift to us and vice versa.)

All that in the course of 4 1/2 weeks.

All that on top of getting ready for Christmas with decorating, buying and wrapping presents, and of course…. Work.

It’s been unseasonably warm in our area. It’s normally 40’s lows to maybe 60’s highs. We’ve been having 60’s for lows and 80’s for highs.

While i love the hot weather, not everyone does. It’s sooooo much easier to be sexy in warm weather clothes than cold weather clothes.

Think about it… in the cold north, a conversation probably goes like this….

Him: I want to fuck you.

Her: oh yeah Sir?! I want that too.

Her again: just give me 10-minutes.

Him (annoyed): uhm. No. Don’t tell me I have to wait! NOW!

Her: well Sir, since it’s so cold out, I have 16-layers of clothes on and have to take them all off. That’s going to take awhile.

Lol. Yeah. So. NOT sexy.

So warm weather allows me to wear tank tops or a low-cut shirt, no bra, no panties… and be undressed in no time flat.

i can also sleep naked, or be in the house naked, much easier in warm weather.

Generally speaking, i feel way more more sexy in warm weather than in cold weather.

But i would say that David has been absent in spirit lately. With so many “life things” happening, he hasn’t had the least bit of focus on me, regardless of what i have on or do not… or whether the temp is cold or warm! (Yes, i am fully aware of how selfish that sounds!)

Now that’s not to say he’s not talked to me, done (vanilla) things with me, nor has he been entirely or literally gone.

He’s just not held me accountable or maintained our Domestic Discipline dynamic. At all.

i have been trying to NOT get anxious, upset, or angry about the (perceived) neglect. i know i am loved. i know i am not ignored, forgotten, or neglected. But it feels like it to me. And sometimes what we perceive becomes our truth.

i just wish he’d hold me accountable. i just wish he’d stay the course of our dynamic. i just wish he would bent me over his knee already.

i know i need to tell him. But HOW to tell him has been problematic.

If i……

Brat…

….. Which is where i become cranky, disobedient, disrespectful, and …. Challenging, that is unbecoming. It also, usually, just makes David annoyed and/or angry.

i don’t chose to be a brat quite as literally as it may seem. It’s somewhat like having a bad day. You don’t start out saying, “hey, I want to have a bad day today.” And yet, sometimes it just happens anyway.

And to take that even further, when a bad day does happen, sometimes you think, “I am NOT going to let this continue.” And yet it just does.

So being “bad” and throwing a temper tantrum isn’t the right answer, but admittedly, i have done a bit of this. Yet David has let it go and not held me accountable.

What exactly have i done? Well…. i decided he hasn’t paid ANY attention to my puss. He doesn’t seem to care if i touch it or not. i decided to NOT shave it until he pays attention to it.

On Saturday, he decided to lay me on the bed, spread my legs, and lick me to orgasm. (Yah, i know this is paying attention to me, which is exactly what i am complaining about. But. This is the one and only sexual type interaction we’ve had in nearly 6-weeks.).

He didn’t even comment about the hair. i dared him to. He didn’t. He should have. It was annoying that he didn’t.

Top from the Bottom…

…. i’d just tell him what to do, or maybe tell him “what you should do in this situation is….”

Turn me over and spank me, like the spoiled brat that i am acting like.

Or stand me in the corner until further notice.

Or (fill in the blank)…..

But i don’t want to tell him what to do. i want him to enforce the rules, do maintenance spankings, tell me to wear the Chastity Belt, or WHATEVER…. because he wants to do it and NOT just because i am telling him to do those things.

Try talking to him…

Yes, i know. THIS is the most logical. But i am already thinking he’s just going to hear my words as Topping because i think i hear it that way already too.

i can hear the conversation now….

Me: “you aren’t holding me accountable.”

Him: “ok. We’ve been busy.”

Me: “yes, but you should….”

Okay… right there…. i am Topping from the Bottom. Telling him what he’s NOT doing and how to DO something (anything) better

Send him a link of this post…

But that’s likely just another version of Topping from The Bottom.

SUMMARY…..

i am getting increasingly annoyed and unhappy…. Which is making me cranky. Which is probably going to lead to me being a Brat… even more. Just to get his attention.

See a pattern here? See the circular reference?

Ugh.

Suggestions?

Until then… no matter hot weather or not, i will wear what i want, when i want!

Hugs,

Marie