248 – Happy to be healthy!

Being sick is never a good thing. David got Covid, and then i did. i definitely had it worse than he did, but all in all, neither of us had it “too” badly either. His Covid stint lasted about 2-days and ended up just being a bad cold, whereas i was sick for a full 5-days with a bad cold and a lot of body aches and heaviness about me too.

While the metal taste in the mouth is terrible, i highly recommend if you should turn up with Covid to talk to your doc about getting the anti-viral meds now available as it made a positive difference. Won’t lie though, the metal mouth taste is awful. All in all, i would do it again to reduce the complications and difficulties experienced with Covid too.

When i become sick, which really doesn’t happen often, David becomes what i would call a (light) submissive.

Even though sometimes i would love for him to be, David isn’t a demanding Dominant Sir. He’s never that way, but especially when i am sick. Instead he takes care of me, asking what he can do to help more, cooks/cleans/ laundry, and helps me as best he can. Of course with Covid, the best way to help was really just staying away really, but even that, he did with grace and compassion making me love him even more!

But i won’t lie, being separated from David physically while still in the same house for nearly 2-weeks now has been awful too. And this weekend, David has to travel again as well.

Needless to say, with vacations, work trips, and both having Covid we haven’t actually seen, touched, or felt like we live together for almost a full month! It’s getting old and taking its toll on my mental health. i know it’s all temporary and will pass soon enough too, but it feels like the days drag on…and on… and on…. And… ok, i will stop now. But it is ongoing still too.

Not to mention, when we are apart, mentally, physically, or both, it becomes challenging to stay submissive. i mean, after all, when you are “alone” (and sick) it’s easy to just act, do, and say anything you want. Right?!

Well….. i don’t want to act, say, or do as i want, but to some degree, that’s what happens.

i would say there are two things that generally land me in trouble most frequently: 1) my mouth. Saying things that are rude, insulting, or disrespectful, and 2) laziness. Saying i will do something and not doing it as quickly as possible or just flat out forgetting afterward, is frequently a big problem for me.

And when i don’t feel good…. “I” come first. So I don’t care (in that moment anyway) if I speak harshly or inappropriately, nor do I feel like I have to get up/do things that I don’t want to do, even when those things are in my own best interest (like remembering to take the medicine on time and drinking lots of fluids).

Acting that way is just dumb. i admit that now. Definitely not appropriate.

Of course, David doesn’t expect me to be perfect ever, but especially not when i am not feeling good. There’s also no reason to ever be disrespectful to anyone really, let alone my Sir. In that moment though, I am selfish and not at all submissive.

Yet, i am always submissive. It was a choice i made long ago, it is at the core of me, and it is who i am. It’s not something that was forced upon me. i wouldn’t even really say i chose it, but rather, it chose me. (i could dive into that thought a bit more too, but i will just leave it right there for now.).

So to not act kindly and respectfully, and to not do as i am told, even when i am unwell is not acceptable. (And especially when the things i was told to do are for my own health, it’s not like it was too much trouble or not focused on me anyway! i mean, he didn’t ask me to run errands, cook/clean, etc. He asked me to drink more to stay properly hydrated!)

Don’t get me wrong, i wasn’t terrible. i just wasn’t good either.

So i asked for maintenance to be reinstated upon his return home. i think it would be a good way to get back into being “us.” He agreed.

We have always done maintenance on Friday’s, to be able to start the weekends off right. Because he is back on Monday though, i think i may ask for it early this coming week to start the whole week off right.

Until then, it will be a long (lonely) weekend alone….

Well, i’m not exactly alone… our son is here with me. And speaking of, i haven’t even told you that he graduated from high school in May and will be leaving in August to move on-campus in college. We will be empty nesters, to which i will be sad to be away from our son, but glad to have more of David/me time too. i am fully expecting to be more “in the moment” with D/s with an empty house soon. More directives without covert language, more “Sir” spoken aloud in the moment, more naked, more spankings …. All in that moment… come mid August and beyond! Stay tuned!

Anyway, i am happy to be healthy again and now getting back to normal again too!

Hugs,

Marie