48 – Just Keep it To Yourself

Sometimes Submission is just a matter of keeping it to yourself. And sometimes that’s easy… but not always.

Here’s a few examples of what’s been in my head lately when i submit… or try to anyway.

David decided there were a few shirts in his closet that had seen better days and said “I think it’s time to get rid of these.” And he took them off the hanger and made a pile on the floor. It’s just three shirts. So not a big deal. But now it’s just sitting there. And i really want to say “are you going to throw those away? Can I do it for you?”

But i haven’t. On purpose. Because i know that it will come out with a tone that will NOT be appropriate. So i let it sit.

In the end, i ask myself “Does it matter if that pile sits there? Indefinitely?” Probably not. While it does create unnecessary clutter, it isn’t hurting anything or anyone.

So … keep your mouth shut. Simple Submission.

Another example… we were headed out to dinner and he told me to drive. Now in 23-years of being together, he has NEVER told me to drive and i can count on one hand the number of times i have driven when he’s in the car, which is typically been a result of him being ill. i started to ask why. But decided to keep my mouth shut instead.

Again, was it hurting anyone? Anything? Well… you might say that by keeping my mouth shut, it actually benefited me because David drives VERY aggressively and i do not care for it at all. It is the single biggest reason we have gotten into fights over our entire relationship. So now… while it seems strange behavior on his part, does it really matter “why”?! NOPE!

So sometimes… all it takes it staying quiet to be submissive!

But sometimes… staying quiet isn’t an option. This morning was one of those times.

i was cleaning. And i threw away 3 things that “technically” belonged to him, but none of which i thought he cared about. One was a magazine that came in the mail and has sat on the kitchen counter for almost 3-weeks. (Who has time to read magazines anyway? In the bathroom maybe… but then move it there and read it already. )

Well, he saw these things and got mad. He yelled at me, “DO NOT THROW AWAY ANYTHING OF MINE EVER AGAIN WITHOUT ASKING! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?”

i responded with “Yes Sir”…. but i admit, it had a bittttttt of attitude. To which i thought i’d get my butt blistered, but did not.

Instead, he said, “what are you thinking?”

Ahh crap!

Ok, so i was super sassy in my head at that moment and had been thinking “ok, careful what you ask for! i literally won’t throw away a thing of yours… like when i clean dishes and you have left over uneaten food on your plate… nope! Ain’t throwing it away!” But i KNEW that these thoughts shouldn’t come out of my mouth!!

So at this moment i am in a quandary.

He asked a direct question to which i have to answer. But if i lie, he’d probably know (because i don’t lie well and we’ve been together so long he would just “know”) and if i tell the truth, it is clearly NOT submissive!

So… i punted. i said, “i would prefer not to answer because it isn’t submissive thoughts and if i tell you, it will get me in trouble. But i was trying to overcome my non-submissiveness by not speaking my thoughts aloud.”

It didn’t work. He demanded to know. So…. i told him.

He wasn’t happy.

And what do you think came next????

(In my defense… i think it is unfair to put your submissive into a no-win situation when she acknowledges it ahead of time and warns you about it too. But i suppose the thoughts themselves were not submissive as i should’ve been thinking about how “he is right” and i should probably work on being submissive in all ways…. even in my head!)

Let me know your thoughts…..

Hugs!

Marie