Skip to main content

Tag: submit

89 – And just like that……

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. 2 Comments on 89 – And just like that……

i sit here in chastity. Watching tv. Like nothing is any different than any other day.

You could look at me and have no idea that there are new “panties” that exists under this skirt of mine. Unless of course you happen to hear the slight sound of the lock clinking against the belt as i walk, or smell the pre-cum dripping down my leg, or see the smile on my Sir’s face as he held the key and said, “try to be good today!”…..

REWIND…….

This morning i was dressing for the day…. which on the weekend has no bra and no panties as typical protocol. i was anticipating that now that it is “the weekend” that “soon” the chastity would be put on.

After taking a shower and dressing, i was doing my hair. That’s when Sir walked up behind me and pulled my skirt up. As always, i never refuse his touch so while i paused and stood still, i waited for him to decide what came next. He smiled and ran his hand over my ass in a smooth, seductive, sultry way.

And he promptly dropped my skirt and said, “aren’t you missing something?”

i knew what it was in reference to, but i still said, “what do you mean?”

And he said, “do you really think i’m going to leave you (to go play golf) with you unprotected?”

i said, “you have before.”

And he said, “yes, but that was before we got the chastity… and we both know we got it for a reason…..we both know you can’t keep your hands off of what belongs to me!”

So with equal amounts of intrepidation and excitement, i laid it out open on the bed and laid down inside the edges. So i pulled the 3-sides altogether and held it in place while handing Sir the lock (and key).

He put the lock in place, snapped it shut, and pulled out the key.

And that’s when he said, “And just like that.. I’m off to golf and you need to try to be good today!”

Like i have a choice now.

But i had a choice before and always bugged him to masturbate. And sometimes didn’t even bother to ask and just did it anyway. Of course, i paid the price with guilt, coming clean to him, and subsequent punishment. But now, instead of detective controls, we have preventative controls. It will work. Of course it will.

And to be perfectly honest… it’s not nearly as uncomfortable as i anticipated. In fact, it’s similar to wearing a (tighter) thong. We shall see if it chafes, how it’s going to be to use the bathroom, or if it causes any trouble at all today.

i’m not entirely sure what the official plan yet for how long, now permanent, or how regular i’ll be wearing these new “panties,” but for now…..i’m doing ok! And frankly, part of submission is not knowing the plan, and not needing to know the plan, and still being ok with it, and i’m ok!

So while i won’t be getting “off” today, i will be off now to find some wholesome, good hearted, “family” show to watch today.

Hugs,

Marie

79 – Sexuality and Christianity

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 79 – Sexuality and Christianity

i have been asked many times, “how do you reconcile your sexual escapades with your profession of faith?” … and every version thereof.

So this post is going to ATTEMPT to address that here… going to be very deep thoughts and theoretical and it’s taken me a long time to write this with many edits along the way .. so bear with me.

First off though…. i want to say i don’t know if i’m right. But i also don’t know if i’m wrong…. and frankly speaking, neither do you. So read this with an open mind and heart too! ❤️

AND a DISCLAIMER: while i am okay with constructive criticism, the key word is CONSTRUCTIVE! i have a delete button and i’m not afraid to use it. 😘 Remember the old adage… if you have nothing good to say… (let’s all finish it together now)… say nothing at all. So be kind!

My Christianity:

i want to start by telling you what i believe …as a Christian. i believe God loves all the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight!

i believe in John 3:16, “that He gave his only son so that he who believes in Jesus will not perish, but have eternal life.” i do indeed believe that Jesus was the Great I Am who came to save us from sin and to whom that, when my earthly body fails or He returns to claim us (whichever comes first), i will go to be in heaven to live with forever.

i know we all sin every day in thought, word, and deed.. knowingly and unknowingly. And we have to ask God to forgive our sins to receive His many blessings in our life. But even if i were to not receive His blessings, because i believe Jesus is my Lord and Savior, i will still be saved.

i try to live my life according to the Golden Rule, which is biblical too, “Do unto others as you’d have done unto you.” (Matthew 7:12). And i know that ultimately God “has a plan for me to prosper, and to not harm” me (Jeremiah 29:11)

My Sexuality:

i am very sexual. i love being touched and touching, i love being seen and watching, but ultimately ………

i love being submissive (which is also biblical…. “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-23).

i have been with men and women that i was not married to, while i was (am) married. Both with and without David. But i have never done so without David’s knowledge and consent. And even though he has before, i am quite sure he hasn’t since.

My husband and i tried (and basically failed) at being monogamous. Our marriage almost failed as a result too. So we started doing sexual acts together, with other people. We don’t see it as cheating, unfaithful, or inappropriate when you take it out of the shadows and do it together. Our sexual fun together is something similar to a date night. We go together, participate in a fun activity together, and we come home together.

Is there much difference really between going to dinner and a movie with another couple OR going to dinner and then having sex with another couple?

Because i would tell you that being non-monogamous (is that a word, welp, it is now!) comes in many forms… spending too much (plutonic) time with a friend, confiding in another person more than your spouse, doing an activity with friends/family while intentionally not including your spouse, speaking gossip or negatively about your spouse to a friend or family member, lying (or just not telling the whole truth) and of course…. watching porn videos, sexting in a chat room, getting “happy ending” massages, and going onto websites that are for dating purposes only….all the while intending to hide (deceive) your spouse.

The Reconciliation:

When i was soul-searching after discovering David’s infidelity i found a lot about adultery, including when Jesus says, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).

So when i was busy pointing fingers at David for being adulterous, there were 4 more pointing back at me too!

i did also contemplate divorce… Oh but the Bible says divorce isn’t right either (there are more than 25 verses on divorce). And to that end, it says that “what God has brought together, let no man separate.” (Mark 10:9)

So now, we are doing an activity that we love, with full trust, honesty, and consent, as we are doing it TOGETHER. What’s so bad about that?

If you say that monogamy is the only way because the Bible says it, i would offer up that the Bible is full of contradictions. Depending on how you want to look and interpret any topic, including this very same discussion (Just google, “polygamy and the Bible” or “is it possible to be Christian swingers” to name a few), the Bible can be twisted and manipulated to suit. Perhaps some would say that’s what we’ve done now too. i’m ok with that. And here’s why…

Consider the verse, “Love they neighbor as thyself” …. does this mean i am not only allowed, but in fact seemingly commanded to have sex with my neighbors? Because the Bible also says, “do not lust after your neighbor.” By who’s standard should verses be deemed literal or figurative? How did you decide here? There’s nothing in the Bible that tells us. We decide based on our Christian teachings in church or by societal norms.

So if societal norms are the standard by which we set our moral compass, when did monogamy become a “thing” because there are more than 40 leaders in the Bible who were polygamous with multiple wives, including Solomon, Moses, Abraham, and King David (a man after God’s own heart)? How did we pick the exact verses we want to mandate as the ones to follow (one wife) quite literally while ignoring other verses (those that say they had multiple wives) because they “no longer apply” or “aren’t meant to be taken figuratively? Nowhere in the Bible does it specifically condemn polygamy, but of course, it doesn’t condone it either. Unless …. you want to say that many of the key leaders/biblical characters are polygamous and if the Bible doesn’t specifically condemn them, it must therefore condone them by default. So again, by that logic, when did monogamy become the societal norm and only acceptable way?

Southern baptists believe you shouldn’t dance, drink (alcohol), or gamble. Why? Because at least the dancing and drinking parts certainly are not biblical. Jesus went to a wedding and turned water into wine! At a place where they were drinking together and he seemingly encouraged it by creating more. He served wine at the last supper, and yet, Baptist’s serve grape juice in church instead. How or when did the societal norms become that replacing what Jesus commanded (drink this wine in remembrance of me) not be the accepted practice?

And taking the opposite approach is the Methodist Church who is now allowing homosexual/lesbian people to become ministers.

Which church has it right or wrong? i don’t think either are wrong. It is an earthly interpretation of how they feel it best to live and guide us.

(Many use the Bible verse Hebrews 13:4 as the guidance to say homosexuality is wrong. In my bible, the words are exactly as “sexual immoral” – not “homosexual”. When did various translations decide that should be changed to “homosexual”?)

There’s no clear answers. There’s a lot of debate and we could literally argue this until Jesus comes again to set us all straight! So ultimately…. i say it again….. i don’t know the answers.

What i do know is that i wasn’t ready to divorce my husband, but what we were doing (attempted and failed monogamy) wasn’t working either. So now, we enjoy being honest, open, loving, and forthright with one another… and that includes spending time together doing activities like golf, travel, going to the movies, and yes sexual activity with others.

And in the end, i try to be a better Christian, wife, and Mother each day. Do i fail? Yes! But we all “fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23)

In the end, i am a Child of God, believe in Jesus, admit to being a sinner and try to do better each day…. knowing that none of us can abide by and live fully up to all 783,137 words in the Bible even if we did understand the true intent of each word!

i’ll leave you with a final thought…… lest Ye be the First to Cast Stones…..

According to the Gospel of John, the Pharisees, in an attempt to discredit Jesus, brought a woman charged with adultery before him. Jesus thought for a moment and then replied, “He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her.” The people crowded around him were so touched by their own consciences that they departed.”

And my true final thought…. now i am off to dress (without a bra or panties) to go to church on this Sunday morning. 😉❤️😘

Hugs,

Marie

57 – Plugged. Until further notice.

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Submission. No Comments on 57 – Plugged. Until further notice.

So “the virus” has seriously caused me to be off-kilter or off-schedule or off-submission or off-DD. Or well… just “off”. Haven’t even posted… I’ve been that “off”.

And i learned some stuff about myself…. i do NOT submit well when it feels like everything is out of control. Or beyond my control. And i then (subconsciously) take back the control that i would otherwise given freely.

i have seen this behavior creeping in and David has allowed it. i say he’s “allowed” it because he hasn’t done anything (punishments!) to stop it, so by not stopping it, it was effectively allowed.

i admit – that upsets me. i wish he would stick to protocol and routine and enforce what we both like and know works! But he doesn’t and i didn’t either.

And today, i basically went over the edge of his tolerance for these allowances.

i won’t deny, today was basically intentional. It wasn’t me being a brat, so much as just being “in control” and testing David to see “how much is too much”.

What did i do, you ask?

First i took a bath. That doesn’t sound like much. But i take baths to soak, relax, and take “me” time. While David always approves, it is a rule that i am to ask permission to do so. i didn’t.

Then, i masturbated.

Then i inserted a plug in my ass. i rather enjoy the feeling. Most days. For awhile anyway. Of being filled. And it is a secret that no one can see or knows, except me. And David.

i told him i did these things. And when he asked me why. i said, “because i was feeling sexy and turned on and decided to satisfy myself.” His first response was a nod, eye brows raised and a sound that resembled a “hmm”. And he walked away.

About 5-minutes later, he texted me. (From him in the office of our home to me in the kitchen… not far!). And it said, “you didn’t ask”. i said, “i know. Should i take the plug out?”

And he said, “no. Not until tomorrow. And when I authorize it.”

Wow. Ok. Well. This will be a huge test. And ultimately feel like a punishment in the end. Admittedly- a deserved one!

i’ve never had a plug in for more than about 8-hours, and the few times i tried to sleep with it in, i failed.

How it feels:

The first few hours – a turn on, the next few hours – a bit uncomfortable, the last few hours – basically irritating and painful. And i ask to remove it and he agrees.

While he didn’t seem “mad”, i know he is…. or maybe the right word is disappointed.

This will be a test of my will power and endurance. And i wonder when i will break down and beg to be released. i don’t want to beg. Because i already know what he said – tomorrow. That should be enough. But i don’t know if i will make it. i will definitely be trying though!

And if i do beg – will he allow the release to happen.

Stay tuned. And until then, i am plugged until further notice.

Hugs,

Marie

22 – WHY did i do it?

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Marriage, Punishment. No Comments on 22 – WHY did i do it?

David and i don’t have many official “rules” to our DD.  But, like any good marriage, we do have some.

WHY do we have rules? 

Well, EVERY marriage has rules… who’s responsible for laundry, dishes, cooking, kids, paying bills, etc.  Maybe they are literally spelled out but they are inherent. It keeps things flowing in the right direction.  Right?

So our DD relationship also has rules.  Some anyway.  Again, we don’t have many, but the ones we have are there for a reason.

What rule am i talking about?

i like to take warm, soaking baths.  When we started this DD relationship, David made it clear to me he wanted me to ASK PERMISSION to take a bath.  Every time.  And i have done that.  Until today.

i just ‘decided’ to take a bath.  Without asking.  Without permission.   And i didn’t really care.  i knew the rule.  i knew i was supposed to ask.  And i just didn’t care.

After math…

So after i got out of the tub, i decided to rat myself out.  i texted Sir (he wasn’t home when i did the deed.)… and the text simply read, “i took a bath.”

And a few minutes later i get a text back that read, “did you enjoy it?”

“Yep”

“But you didn’t ask.”

“I know.  That’s why I’m telling you now.”

“But you knew I’d say yes.”

“True”

What made me do it?

i’m not entirely sure, but after i’ve thought about it NOW,  i can tell you what i think….

  • i was feeling self-indulgent.  i wanted to do something ‘for me’.
  • i was completely certain he’d say yes to it (even he said so – see text above), so why even have this rule?  What does it matter?  Just do it and maybe this dumb rule can be eliminated altogether.  Maybe even he will see that it is dumb.
  • what if today is “the” day he says no?  i didn’t want to chance Sir saying NO, so i decided to do it.  (Better to ask forgiveness than permission?!?!)

Let’s break this down…..

  • i was feeling self-indulgent.  i wanted to do something ‘for me’. 

Well of course i was.  i was “entitled” to something for me.  Right?  WRONG!  i acted like a spoiled little brat.  And while i didn’t think of it this way when i did it, i certainly now think it probably was a bratty thing to do.  (i never thought i was a ‘brat’ until maybe today.)

  • i was completely certain he’d say yes to it (even he said so – see text above), so why even have this rule?  What does it matter?  Just do it and maybe this dumb rule can be eliminated altogether.  Maybe even he will see that it is dumb.

So frankly there’s a lot in this thought.

First:  “He’s going to say yes”.  Okay, so what?  That tells me merely that Sir is trustworthy and consistent.  That shouldn’t be taken for granted.  AND the decision to say yes/ no wasn’t mine to make, it was his.  i’ve previously given him that decision-making-power, and today, i chose to take it back.  It wasn’t mine to take back.

Second:  “Dumb rule”.  Okay, so what.. again?  Even if i think it’s dumb, there’s some reason Sir put it out there from the start, made me think i needed to rat myself out, and David called me out on it today.  Not every rule in life makes sense to me, but like some of those others, maybe they are there for “my own good”.  And maybe i just need to follow the rules and not question them so much.  And i’m certainly not in a position of authority to be able to change them.

So accept them, follow them, and no one gets hurt!

And speaking of “HURT”……

Well, David is still not home yet.  In fact, i don’t expect him home for several more hours.  But my butt is already raw.. not literally , yet anyway.  But i’m WELL aware that it will be.  Just sitting here typing i can already appreciate how sore my butt will be the next time i sit down to do anything.

WHY DID I DO THIS?

i’m not entirely sure, because if i’d thought through everything i just did here BEFORE i’d broken the rule, i’d not be contemplating the soon-to-be-inflicted pain.

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie

21 – Maintenance is working as intended

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 21 – Maintenance is working as intended

So i wondered from the beginning WHY do people do Maintenance.  i even previously blogged about it, where i came to terms with the idea.

Last week, Sir decided we would do DAILY maintenance.  D*A*I*L*Y.

Keep in mind that while i had come to the realization that it did have a proper place in domestic discipline, i still wasn’t keen on it.

But i still submitted.  “Yes Sir”.  And what i was thinking in my head was “BUT WHY?”

Well, i admit – it works.

We have now done it for a week.  My bottom is not nearly as sore as i’d have thought, but i have realized quite a few things about myself, spankings, maintenance, and submission.

Namely:  IT WORKS.  Maintenance.  It works.

Here’s how the week has gone:  

Day 1: – i didn’t do anything ‘wrong’ so remind me WHY do we to do this!? (grumpy)

Spanking hurt.  It was intended to be so.  i was standing on the floor, legs apart, hands on the side of the bed.

At the end, i felt his fingers reach between my legs.  And i heard him say, “Good girl for taking that spanking.  Do you want to cum?”

Me:  “Thank you Sir.  Yes, i’d like to cum”.
And he fingered me until i begged permission to do so.  And he said Yes!

Day 2: – Okay, now it hurts.  (seriously, is this really necessary?)

Sir seems to want to get it over with.  Going fast, firm, and intense.

But at the end, he pushed me up onto the bed in a doggie style and asked me if i wanted to cum.  Of course, i said “YES SIR!”.

And he fingered me again until i came.

i guess while maintenance spankings are necessary, if i take them as i should without complaining, there is a reward at the end!

Day 3: – i don’t want this to be the norm.  (fine, maybe it IS necessary)

The spanking of course.  The cum – YES, please, can i do it again?!!

Day 4: – okay, i’ll just get into position before he even tells me to.  He was impressed and surprised.  (okay, this hurts enough i need to submit without getting a “real” spanking).

But i took the liberty to change up “the position”.  i propped pillows on the bed, angled myself over them so that my ass was in the air, and put my arms under my stomach (so i couldn’t be tempted to reach back and stop the spanking mid-way).

What i didn’t appreciate was that when he hits now, the ‘give’ between the paddle and the bed is not much.  And there’s no place for me to straighten up, flex or move away, and i feel the full brunt of it.

Add to that, David has increased the intensity of the maintenance spanking and each swat is delivered more intentionally also.  He even started to tell me, “That was a 30% arm strength”.  i can’t imagine what 100% would feel like.  And i hope i never have to find out!  As i said, “working as intended!”

But then came the reward.  He said, “Flip over on your back.”  i did.  WOW – my ass stung as it came together with the bed!

He got between my legs and licked me until i begged him to allow me to cum.  He said YES!  And i released my orgasm on his face.

Day 5: – Get a text “Assume the position”.  His arm and swats are firmer.  He is testing my limits.  (now i’m compliant and expecting it, although not exactly wanting it).

i had hoped to have a reprieve because David had to take our son to school  as he missed the bus.  And i had gotten dressed intending to go to work and was excited at the possibility of skipping today’s maintenance.

Darn it.  NO such luck.  But maybe the cum reward afterward will be sufficient and i’ll have to relax and wait for the reward.

i didn’t know what “the position” he meant – standing by the bed or laying on pillows with ass in the air.  I opted for the latter because i just wasn’t sure how much time would lapse until he was home.  And David seemed pleased to see my ass in the air when he did arrive home.

i cringed with each swat.  And i prayed it would end soon.  And i prayed that he’d allow me to cum.  And i thanked God for this man and his discipline and leadership of me and our family.  And i prayed that God would help me submit always and to never have to incur the wrath of Sir’s disciplinary spanking.  Ever.  (Although i know it will be needed at some point, i pray it is no time soon!).

Working as intended.

And i got to cum too.

Day 6 – i don’t even get dressed.  i just know there’s no point.  i am accepting.  The intensity has increased with each day.  I cringe.   (i do NOT want the real spanking because maintenance is enough!)

i wish there were a way to avoid this.  But i don’t see there is.  And arguing the point that i’ve gotten the message wouldn’t help, in fact, it would likely elicit a true disciplinary spanking as i felt the need to argue.

He peppers my ass with small, intense swats all over.  And then a BIG SWAT.  OUCH!  And repeat with small swats all over and SMACK!  OUCH AGAIN!  By the time he was done, my voice was almost hoarse from letting out the yelps of pain.

And he climbed between my legs once again.  This part is SO AMAZING!  He let me cum. i pray he never says NO to the cumming part.

For the first time ever he tells me, “Wow, you had a little bit of a squirt that time”.

REALLY?

Day 7: – i wake up and tell Sir, “These maintenance spankings are having the desired effect.  i won’t intentionally misbehave.  Knowing the intensity and heat from a red hot ass after maintenance, i have ZERO desire to have a discipline spanking.  David says, “GOOD!  Then we can skip today’s maintenance.”

Phew!  A reprieve.

But no cum.  i guess there is a bitter sweet to this.  i bet Sir will be desirous to allow me to cum without a spanking though too! 🙂

8th day –

Sir asks, “Is your ass still sore?”

Me: “No Sir”

Sir says, “Hmm.  Maybe we need to work on the intensity to ensure it is a lasting effect!”

Me:  “Two days later?”

Sir:  “YES! But now you can insert a butt plug and wear a g string to hold it in tight today!”
Oh my!

Day 9 – will be tomorrow – i wonder what it may hold.  And when can i graduate to NOT being daily maintenance?!!!

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie