213 – Glory saved me from myself.
Night five in chastity started withOUT chastity. Are you surprised?
As you know now, i have named my belt. It feels more personal than just saying, “chastity belt.” She is named Glory. (Maybe i will go into more detail on another post about how that name came up to me, but also why i feel it is really perfect too! But not now…. Today is about Day 5 of continuous chastity, day 10 of NO-orgasm, NO-vember. (No orgasm didn’t start until Nov 6th, which begs the question if this orgasm denial will end on Dec 1… or be extended to Dec 6… to say it was a “full month” of denial…. More on that as the month unfolds!)
David and i were heading toward the bedtime hour by doing the usual evening routine activities, including brushing teeth, face, etc
David sleeps in lounge PJ shorts … because he can. i sleep nude… because i should. His body is his and my body is his. i am his to see, touch, or play with anytime he wants, so i am made available to him. Usually this works well, but in times of intentional orgasm denial, not so much.
THIS is the longest i have EVER been denied. i do not EVER remember going this long without an orgasm in much of my adult life! i have always had a sexual appetite and whether David has touched me or i touched me, i am touched a LOT.
In fact…..
i am a sex addict! And i think that is a GOOD thing. Wanting to flirt, have sex, or please my Sir is a GOOD thing….. (wait…i realize i am about to go down a squirrel trail and this could be an excellent start for another post, so i will stop here and get back on track!)
So… i am USUALLY touched a lot. But as you are well aware now… i am in the middle of NO-vember…. Meaning, NO orgasms in this month at ALL for me by my touch, David’s touch, or ANYONE else for that matter!
This is way harder than i thought it would be! But i am determined to do it. i won’t fail…. i just CAN’T. If i do fail, i will sorely be disappointed in myself, and i don’t even really want to think about what David will think or what he would do for punishment too! His disappointment would be too overwhelming for me! i would be depressed and beyond sad if i fail. So this challenge is good for me!
As i climbed into our bed, David said, “I see boobs!”
He always sees them at night, but by the fact he commented on them told me he was particularly attracted to them at that moment. (Or maybe he wasn’t, but used it as an opportunity to test me! Just because MY orgasms are denied, doesn’t mean his are in any way, form, fashion deterred!)
So i leaned in close, where his mouth immediately covered up my entire nipple and sucked on it. He grabbed my other one with his hand and rubbed it hard too.
And almost as quickly as it started, it stopped. He let go, laid his head on the pillow, and said, “let’s see if you can go tonight without chastity. You need to be able to do this on your own sometimes too.”
In all honesty, i was grateful he thought i didn’t need it as i had NO desire to sleep with Glory! At ALL! i had already been wrestling with it in my mind all evening long about how i did NOT want her hugging on me and i did NOT want to feel her hard steel against me. i was craving the soft touch of the sheets and to just feel a kinder, gentler love. i just needed a night’s break.
So i was relieved with his words! i smiled and said to David, “Yes! i was thinking that i didn’t need Glory too Sir. This will be good.”
And it was. For awhile.
We read, got sleepy, and then we turned out the lights and fell asleep quickly. i was happy and feeling loved.
Until i wasn’t.
i woke up at 2:30a. W-I-D-E awake. Laying on my back, with complete awareness of how the sheets were touching my pussy. i felt how good it felt when i just moved a millimeter in any direction, and the sheets rubbed against me in the softest way.
i told myself to ignore all that and go back to sleep. i tried. i tossed and turned, fluffed the pillow, switched up my positioning and the covers. It wasn’t working.
i decided to turn. onto my side and put a pillow between my legs to (kinda) limit access (but also the chiropractor says this is good to keep your back aligned too). But that pillow! Oh my! It felt SO good on my clit! Once again after trying to find sleep and failing, i found myself starting to arch my back and my pelvis…. humping the pillow.
i stopped, removed the pillow, and moved back to my back. i let my legs flop open and pulled the sheets outward, so it was taut and tucked it under my legs so that just my knees were touching it. It effectively made a tent over my lower half.
And then i started thinking about sex… and was having (awake-fantasy-dreams) about different sexual positions, activities, toys, and people touching me. i tried to distract myself saying, “Think of other things!”
Think about things like… uhm… thanksgiving …and … my birthday. Around the corner. And what we will be doing…. Which lead to thoughts of, “yeah you know what you’ll be doing… and what you will NOT be doing. You won’t be coming!”
THAT is when i reached down and touched my clit. i rubbed it. My cunt was sloppy slick in a matter of 5-seconds flat. i felt it dripping out of me. And i knew i HAD to stop.
I DID NOT ORGASM. I STOPPED. I ONLY JUST EDGED.
My mind continued on, “You won’t have an orgy like you wrote about before over a year ago. You won’t have all these hands and cocks and even other pussies all around you getting happy using your holes.”
AND THAT IS WHEN I TOUCHED MYSELF AGAIN. i said, “a little more edging is good for me. i didn’t get to THE edge (of orgasm) before. So getting to theedge is good for me. i won’t go over the edge. i can stop!!…..”
AND I DID. STOP. I DID NOT ORGASM. BUT I ALMOST DID. i SO did NOT want to stop. But i (thankfully!) did.
And my mind continued… “only if you are lucky will Sir even allow your pussy to be touched and orgasm because of course…. You poor, poor little girl… your birthday is in the month of NO-vember. Do you think that your Sir should relent and allow you to cum JUST because it is your birthday?”
AND I DID IT AGAIN. I TOUCHED THAT NEEDY PUSSY. AND AGAIN….I DID NOT ORGASM.
And …. My mind Continued….. “What’s a needy little cunt to do when it can’t be touched all the way to pleasure whenever it wants to? Will you be a brat and pout or accept this denial like the good submissive girl you are… even on your birthday?? And won’t you be THANKFUl for it too? Won’t you realize and appreciate how much you are loved?”
THE ENTIRE TIME, MY FINGER SWIRLED MY CLIT. PLAYED WITH MY OPENING. PRESSED A FINGER INSIDE AND PULLED OUT AGAIN.
ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH!
I HAVE TO STOP. I CAN-NOT-CUM. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, BECAUSE THIS IS NOT ALLOWED!
i then heard my rational brain kick in and i said, “GET UP. GO GET GLORY. YOU NEED HELP!“
Then i even tried to argue with myself, “but if i have the key, how will that be effective? i can pull her into place, but what’s the point knowing i can use the key (since Sir is asleep and i can’t give him the key for safekeeping.)” That’s when it came to me. i knew the solution.
i went to the closet, laid down on the floor, and strapped myself in her. i am getting to be so close with my chastity belt, i can quite literally strap myself in without lights and only using my touch! (Strapping in is a matter of: straddle the three parts – belt around each hip and metal between my legs; attach one side of the belt to the middle metal part that goes through my legs; hold it in place while strapping on the other side of the belt; put the metal heart-covering through the TWO holes on the front that hold it and the three straps in their place; hold all of this in place to attach the lock over top; twist it to fit securely and lock it closed. And hand over the keys. Quite a bit to do in the dark without eyes, but rather only hands. But i did it, pretty swiftly too actually! i admit, i even surprised myself!)
i grabbed up the keys, went into our bedroom, and on the dresser is a glass bowl that i keep all my jewelry. i softly placed the key in the bowl in order to limit the “clank” sound that was inevitable. i KNEW as it mixed in with the other metal jewels, i’d not be able to lay my hands on it too easily if i wanted to in the dark. So this limited my ability to easily retrieve it back up again. i also knew if i did try, it would make a LOT of noise and probably wake Sir in the process, where i’d have been asked, “what are you doing?” NOT a question i’d want to have to answer at all. Besides, i sorely needed SLEEP!
So i got back in bed. On my back. Legs spread wide. Without ANY access.
ACCESS DENIED!
AND I WAS HAPPY ABOUT IT!
The rational brain told myself, “There! THIS is what you need! You want to succeed at NO-vember and you have the tools to do it. Use your tools wisely. Work smarter, not harder. Now go to sleep!”
And i did.
While i am unsure how Sir will respond this morning to my obvious weaknesses and clear need for Glory to be wrapped around my sex, i succeeded in thinking rationally, getting much needed sleep, AND NO-orgasm-vember. While not exactly what Sir (or i) had in mind at the time we first closed our eyes, i DID succeed in NO orgasms! i am still on the track i should be!
i suspect the rest of the month… i will have night after night of being locked from start to finish with Glory in her rightful place and i am OK with that. In fact, i think i need it. i just hope i don’t have to try (and probably fail!) anymore alone. Glory really does have my best interest at heart! So why not just let her do her job?!
(But here’s to hoping these sexual cravings subside too!)
Hugs,
Marie