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Tag: following orders

163 – It’s a dildo day

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 163 – It’s a dildo day

In my last post i mentioned wearing a dildo to work.

i will tell you all about what happened….. and in the end, ask you again, “Am i a sex slave and submissive wife? Or just slave? Or just a submissive!” Where the line from sub ends and slave begins is my unanswered question at the moment.

But maybe it’s not really important what title i (or you) put on it. It just might be more important that i was following a directive from my Sir. And i was submitting…….

He said, “Bring me the inflatable dildo.”

Yes Sir. And i did.

He said, “Spread your legs.”

And i did.

And he pushed it up inside me. (i wear no panties, per his instruction from long ago. In fact, he took them away and i haven’t seen them since. i can’t wear them if i wanted to.)

He said, “Set an alarm for 60-minutes. Every hour, you will pump the bulb twice. And then report that to me in person or text.”

“Don’t miss or forget to do it, every hour. Both the pumping and the reporting.”

And he grabbed the pump bulb and squeezed it 5-times to give a start.

And off to work i went. The entire dildo fits right up inside me, but after it is squeezed many times and it inflates it becomes difficult to keep it inside. When i mentioned that to Sir, he said, “squeeze your legs tight to keep it inside.”

And that’s basically what i did. i had to or else it would have fallen out … into my pants and would’ve slid down my leg until it came out. NOT happening to me while at work!

Every hour. All day. The alarm went off, i gave two good pumps, and texted, “Another hour. 2-more pumps.”

By the day’s end, i had received 25-total pumps. The dildo was quite large. It felt fine while inside. But when i had to take it out for a restroom break, pushing it back inside was a major effort for sure! It i wasn’t going to disappoint my Sir, and i followed his instructions to the T.

And mid-way through the morning, in addition to the dildo, i received a text. It said, “Time to edge.”

i stared at it for a minute and texted back, “at work? Now?”

And he texted back, “Yes. That’s what i said.”

Thankfully i have my own office and have a birds eye view of anyone approaching, so i pushed my hand down in my pants and found my clit. i rubbed it until i almost exploded. i was at “the edge” of orgasm. And i wanted it. i wanted that orgasm.

It took everything in me to stop. But i did.

Why did i stop? Because i am a submissive (or a slave?) and i was told to edge. i was not told to orgasm. Orgasms from my body do not belong to me. i agreed long ago to never orgasm without permission. And i haven’t been given permission on this day to do anything other than go to the edge of orgasm.

i texted and said, “i have done it. But i really want to cum.”

He texted back, “Good girl. No. Do it again. Now.”

Holy crap. i did it again. It took about ONE minute and i nearly went over the edge. In fact, for a split second i actually thought i had gone over the edge (and orgasmed).

i felt panic rise in me. You see, because i am submissive, i want to please him. And had i gone over the edge, i would’ve felt badly. You’d think i would enjoy an orgasm and relish in the moment. But no, i would have no pleasure in an orgasm that is not allowed. And i wouldn’t want to see Sir’s face when i had to tell him i orgasmed without permission.

i was relieved when i knew that i had … quite literally…. gone to THE EDGE but had NOT gone over.

i told Sir all these things and he was quite pleased with me.

He said, “You will receive your reward when you are home. Now two more pumps and don’t forget to continue.”

By the end of the day, my puss was sore and stretched. But i was happy!

Upon getting home, Sir said to lay on the bed and wait for him. When he came in, he played a bit with the dildo pushing it further in and back out again. When he pulled it out fully, he commented on just how inflated it was and was impressed.

Then he put all five fingers inside me and pushed all the way to his knuckles. And pushed in and out. Then while in, he moved his fingers rapidly.

i begged him to allow me to cum. When he said no, i responded with, “Please Sir… either stop or allow me to cum… otherwise i will go over the edge without permission and i do not want to.”

He smiled and said, “Orgasm all you want.” And his fingers moved easily inside me and he felt me squeeze and release all over them! He kept going and i felt the ripple of more orgasms flow from me freely.

When he pulled out, i was exhausted.

We were both disappointed that he couldn’t get his hand all the way inside me, but we have determined his hand is simply too large. He said he will find a female suitable to do it for us, and when he does, he will take pictures. i will be ready!

i followed orders and was rewarded with multiple orgasms at my Sir’s hand… quite literally. i pleased him and he pleased me!

That all happened yesterday. Today, my puss is sore and thankfully allowed to rest. Will wait to see what tomorrow holds.

So what do you think…. submissive? Slave? Some combination of both? Or does it even matter….. i do as i am told, and i am rewarded. And when i don’t, i am punished. i happily accept both!

Hugs,

Marie

127 – Orgasm control

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 127 – Orgasm control

(i thought this picture was hot and the words completely described my situation…. except of course have to reverse the pronouns to substitute “him” for “her.” So i used it. 🥰)

As i was laying in bed relaxing and reading before sleep last night, David came in too. But instead of just laying down beside me, he pulled back my covers and spread my legs.

Part of being truly submissive to David is whenever and wherever he wants to have sex, or any kind of sexual activity at all, i do NOT deny him. It’s not an official rule, per se but it doesn’t need to be. It is SO very understood that we don’t even need to have it as a rule. Once he said that if i ever deny him, “it better be for a damn good reason!” Most of the time, it’s all good though and veryyyyyy seldom do i even want to deny him. So no real complaints from me, mostly because it benefits me too!

Definitely not this week. This week there’s a lot of teasing and no “benefits.” David said he wants to, “get me super excited” (and ready) for our date on Friday. As if i’m not already.

So this week will be only about edging … which is getting me super close to orgasm and stop. And repeat. And never quite getting to go over the “edge” to actually be allowed to orgasm….. until Friday.

Sir then moved down between my legs, and he looked up at me, straight into my eyes and said, “you better not cum!”

And he pressed his face to my pussy and assaulted my clit with his tongue in such a delightful way. His tongue felt simply amazing on my clit. i started to moan in ecstasy and he pulled back and said, “you better tell me before you go over the edge!”

i must always ask to orgasm. There is never a time i don’t have to ask, including during intercourse. If i don’t, there is punishment. And sometimes that punishment is immediate with something like a slap to my pussy or the sex coming to an immediate halt or an immediate spanking. Most of the time the punishment is that the next time i ask to orgasm, the answer is, “No, you already did it the last time without permission. So you don’t get to now.” And i am denied the pleasure. If and when i do ask though, about 90% of the time, i am told yes. So it is ultimately more about respecting the rule (this is a rule), his authority, and being submissive to wait for the answer.

But this week…. there’s no point in asking. i know the answer is no. And if i didn’t know before, he made it plainly obvious when he stopped licking my needy cunt to say, “you better not cum…. if you know what’s good for you!”

That’s when he immediately put his wet and warm tongue back on my inviting pussy, playing with my clit even more. It didn’t take much and i had to (quite literally) tap him out and barely eeked out the words, “please stop Sir.”

And he did. i knew he would, but i was hoping that 1% chance would reconsider allowing me to orgasm. But it was NOT!

That’s when he asked, “how was that?”

i responded with, “Amazing. Until i had to ask you to stop.”

In truth it was bitter sweet…. awesome AND terrible… because i HAD to ask him to stop when i absolutely did NOT want to!

Not only did i not want him to stop, but i had to ask aloud for him to stop too. He knew this was an action on my part. It was a decision to acknowledge his authority, follow the rules through my submission, and an active decision to obey. Ultimately this was about more than just orgasm control! It was our D/s dynamic at work.

He said, “you didn’t want to stop.”

i said “no Sir, i did not.”

And he said, “it’s great practice for Friday! You’ll be very ready to cum then.”

He continued, “it was a great accomplishment that you stopped. You should be proud!”

Again, this was about more than just orgasm control. It was truly about submission. While he was acknowledging the actual act of stopping him and denying my own orgasm, he’s also saying he’s proud of me for submitting. And we both knew it.

i kinda mumbled a “uh huh” sound and he laughed. He said, “this is good character building. Besides B&J will get the benefits now too.”

i also think all this edging might be a bit about (preemptively eliminating) nerves too. In the past, when we meet someone, while i want to be there and do this swinging thing, i get nervous and jittery. i tend to get all shy and reserved, which Sir does not understand at all which leads to (almost) having a panic attack on my part. If i am so sexed up that i can hardly wait to take my clothes off before we even get there… well…. no nervousness and all courage! Great topic to expand on in the next post. Stay tuned for more…..

Hugs,

Marie

95 – Am i crazy? i just might be!

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So the question of the day is: how does it “FEEL” to be submissive? (And … “am i crazy?”)

Let’s start by defining submissive…. “ready to conform to the will of another; obedient; passive, compliant, agreeable.”

MENTAL: being submissive starts with a state of mind. It is an action. To be obedient and passive is a choice. It is an intentional choice to be compliant and agreeable. It’s not something done to me, but something i choose to do.

Why do i chose to be submissive? Mostly… because i can. And it feels good. It feels good to agree with Sir, to let him be responsible – take charge – and for me to let go. And … to know that all i really have to do is……. just agree. i don’t have to be in charge of everything. i don’t have to be “right” either. i am even ok with being right and not getting recognition for it too.

i feel “free” when i don’t have responsibility to do anything… except for whatever makes him happy. Or whatever he tells you to. Or whatever keeps happiness between us.

PHYSICAL: Like most things in life for all of us, when i do good… i get rewarded. And when i don’t, well… i don’t. So in a D/s marriage, that typically means things along a sexual nature but not always. So i get to orgasm, get him to orgasm, have sex, and spend time with Sir… when i am a good girl. But when i am not…. that typically means spanked ass, denial, or loss of privileges.

And i dare say most (non D/s) marriages don’t have as much sexual energy and interactions as ours.

And even for the non-sexual activities, i still submit. Why? Again, because it’s agreeable. And so it works. Is there really any tv shows that i really want to see and therefore must be in control of the remote? And do i really need to have Mexican food for dinner instead of Chinese? No. i don’t.

So when i submit …. i feel good. And i get to look and feel sexy to my husband, which leads to orgasm. And when i don’t, i stand in the corner, get my ass turned red, or go to bed early.

MENTAL: But if i were to look in from the outside most people would think my marriage, viewpoints, and lifestyle is over the top outrageous… which would make me certifiably C-R-A-Z-Y! They’d probably question how much is (truly) consensual too…. because (they would say) that no one volunteers for the things that i – not only encourage – but actually ask for!

Right?!?!

C-R-AZ-Y. It feels like i am crazy sometimes. Insane. Officially over the edge. Commit me now. i truly do legitimately wonder this…. am i crazy to want this in my life and marriage? i probably am, depending on who you ask. Let me explain further.

So it is absolutely true that my lifestyle is nowhere near what mainstream would deem acceptable or appropriate or normal.

Okay, let’s go with that. Great. Ok. i am willing to own it….. we are not “normal”. At least not “normal” according to a mainstream definition of it anyway. Maybe i would argue that maybe mainstream isn’t right. At least as it relates to marriage. At the rate of divorce, i don’t know that i think that the “normal” definition and way of doing things for a marriage is the “right” way. i mean, seriously, if the “normal” way of marriage was SO great and the “right way,” then why do so many of them fail?

And you know what? i am O-K with that… bring abnormal. Why?

Well…. we have a GOOD marriage. i might dare say GREAT. Because we are completely together. We are completely committed. And i have NO doubt we will stay this way. In a D/s relationship with DD as a way to deal with disagreements. And doing it in a crazy way!

i guess what i’m driving at is … maybe i AM crazy. And maybe our marriage is abnormal. But for me, i’ll just embrace this crazy abnormal marriage and be happy in it.

Because while i do crazy things like pierce my nipples, wear chastity belts or an anal plug out in public, and get my ass spanked every Friday morning to reinforce the ways we like to do things ….it is all ultimately under my clothes …. the ones that are completely “normal” and accepted by society’s mainstream.

So how does it feel to be submissive? Crazy. Abnormal. Obedient. And that can sometimes lead to blissful orgasms… or blistered asses.

And i am OK with it all!

Hugs,

Marie

71 – 21 times to change a habit – that’s the goal!

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 71 – 21 times to change a habit – that’s the goal!

Most people have heard the phrase “it takes 21-days to change a habit”. Whether that’s fact or fiction remains unproven really, either way, David decided i am going to do a task this week 21-times without failing.

What is that task?

Edging. NO orgasm allowed. At least not by my hand. And i am not allowed to ask him to do it either. He may decide to touch me or allow me to orgasm on his own, but it will be at his decision and not mine.

i do NOT like edging. IT SUCKS! It sucks because it feels SOOOOO good… and yet requires absolute control. It is just Goal-oriented and not Pleasure-oriented. And absolutely NO indulging. NO losing myself in the sensations and the good vibe feelings it creates.

3 times a day for one solid week. Twenty-one times. In 7-days.

NO exceptions.

NO ability to NOT do it ….. or worse…. NO ability to go over the edge without him knowing because he is requiring every session to be either on video or in his presence. NO exceptions. At all.

He made it clear that i am truly expected to go TO-THE-EDGE….

And if it means i have to stop and restart again, just to ensure i go to the edge, i am to push my ability to GO-TO-THE-VERY-EDGE!

Twenty-one times in seven days. NO going over the edge. NO exceptions.

THIS is my GOAL for the next 7-days, 21- times. Goal-oriented. NOT pleasure-oriented.

When i asked, “what if i misjudge the edge and go over?”

i was told, “severe punishment will ensue. And then you’ll start the 21-times all over again until you accomplish this task successfully. And since you will want to orgasm pretty badly by the end, I am confident you can do this!”

(i’m certainly glad at least one of us is confident!)

Now you may be asking, “what prompted THIS?”

Ever since getting my nips pierced, i have been SO sex’d up and feeling SO turned on… that i have NEEDED Sir to allow me to orgasm. And he’s annoyed by this. Too much. i pushed his limits!

i haven’t exactly been submissive about it either. Yesterday i wore a dress and no panties… i was feeling SO needy i “conveniently” lifted my dress when he was on the couch, and my puss just happened to end up rubbing right up against his hand… and i smiled seductively and said, “do you want to use me?”

i got a big-fat- NO. And he swatted my clit and said, “you need to stop”. OUCH!… physical and mental!

And i went to bed without being touched or satisfied. Truly i thought it was done though because he didn’t act like it was anymore than that. But i was wrong.

This morning… he announced “this week we will teach you a lesson. You need to recognize that I know I can touch you anytime I want. But it is when I want, not when you want. YOU are not in control. You know this, but you don’t always show or act like it. And after yesterday’s stunt, you clearly need to learn to control your sexual desires. I love it when you dress sexy and give me serious eye candy, but I don’t like it when you push yourself on me like you did. That’s too demanding and completely unnecessary.. and clearly NOT the submissive that we both know (and love) that you are. You need to be patient and wait for me to be the one to satisfy you, at a time when it satisfies me!”

And that’s when he told me my task for the week. That my sexual needs will now be amped up at my own hand…. before my sexual needs are satisfied at the end of 7-successful days at his hand (or tongue or cock). And that’s when i’ll get to orgasm. And not until then.

“Yes Sir. Thank you Sir for the discipline and showing me you love me enough to want to help me do better. i love you Sir.”

“I love you too my sweetheart. Now go be a good girl and start your first edging for the day.”

Yes Sir.

i sure hope my goal is met in JUST 7-days!

i’ll let you know just how frustrated i do indeed get this week… this will be a very long week!

Hugs,

Marie

40 – Golf… Topless

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Okay, not R-E-A-L-L-Y topless… but it definitely WAS braless. While Sir didn’t say i HAD to be braless…. i decided to try it. Of my own accord.

David and i play golf together. He taught me how to play when we were dating, almost 20 years ago now. And while i love it, i don’t have much time for it. In fact, for the last several years, i have a multitude of reasons (excuses) not to play. But today, Sir said, “You WILL go play with me and some of my friends.”

He told his friends that he “told” me i was playing.. and frankly, he did. And they laughed and said, “yeah, and she probably likes getting spanked too!”.

How ironic … and little do they know!!! Ha! Maybe Sir told them. i dunno. It’s quite alright if he did. They probably think it’s just a kink. And of course, it is that… but it’s MORE than that. It’s our lifestyle! i somehow think every man dreams of a submissive wife that they can spank, make suck their cock, and get to walk around naked whenever they want….. okay, maybe that’s another post. Back to this one now…..

So the rule in fact for me is officially “no bra unless mon-fri, 8-5” (Work). But a week ago, i wasn’t good and didn’t adhere to that rule and got my bras taken away from me. i couldv’e gotten them back as of yesterday, but i didn’t ask and Sir didn’t offer. So i let it go.

And today, i wanted to ‘see’ what it would look and feel like. So i went braless. (my previous post tells you that if i were in charge, i would have MADE me go braless… check it out!)

Now maybe my boobs are just extra firm or extra in shape or not sensitive – but – it didn’t really seem that much different! Truthfully, i was a bit disappointed! If i’d had on pasties – you’d NEVER have known! (Of course, Sir’s friends probably loved seeing the nipples show through and having NO pasties in place- and i kinda think David did too, which made me love it too!!).

And you may be thinking, “Oh her boobs must be small.” NOPE. 38D is my size. So i’m NOT small. Not ginormous, but definitely NOT small.

So as of yesterday i’ve been without a bra for 7-consecutive days and today makes Day 8.

i’m beginning to think this is going to be my ‘new normal’. And i think that makes Sir happy. i haven’t asked for them back. Not even sure i want them back. Going out of the house braless isn’t even something i really think about now. i ….. “just do it”. (am i supposed to get Nike’s approval to say that? Well… you aren’t paying me, so i’m rolling with it! LOL).

Maybe i DO like braless-ness in the end. i did, then i didn’t, and now i do again. i think the bra is a security blanket of sorts for me. It allowed my breasts (specifically NIPPLES) to hide!

i’m officially braless 24/7 now and frankly, it feels liberating, freeing, and good! i may just adopt this permanently. Maybe there IS something to the “braless movement” afterall. And i wouldn’t have EVER given it a second thought if Sir hadn’t made me.

See – submission really IS a good thing!

(and on another note…. Sir and his friends are rather sassy on the golf course to one another. And since i was with them… i was too . i mean really, ‘when in Rome….’. But Sir noticed and wasn’t entirely impressed. Kept telling me to “Stop with the sass!” So now i’m waiting to see how serious – or remembering/ forgetful – he was! We shall see!).

Hugs ~

Marie

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