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A Domestic Discipline Contract Is A Godsend

Written by Marie on . Posted in Domestic Discipline, Marriage, Spanking, Wife Spanking. No Comments on A Domestic Discipline Contract Is A Godsend

i was lucky: the domestic discipline contract David and I established in the beginning was relatively easy for both of us. i consider myself fortunate enough to marry a man who was willing to explore his dominant role hand-in-hand with me, i never had to go through the dilemma that most women find themselves in.

domestic discipline contract

In most households, it’s the women who start this conversation. i know that there are men seeking DD relationships also, but for now let’s look at the woman’s perspective. i think because it’s the interest in spanking that all of us share which starts the ball rolling, it’s some time before women realize that it isn’t just spanking but something deeper they want – a real disciplinary framework backed up by consequences. For most women, they want those consequences to be spanking; there’s just something cathartic about it that is unlike having privileges taken away.

Because of that, many people seeking advice in the past on domestic discipline have been told to provoke or ask for spanking, which is really bad advice. Unfortunately, because so there’s so much out there for people wondering “am I kinky?”, or who get turned on by the thought of being a spanked wife, but not so much for people focused more on how to start domestic discipline. For me, approaching David and asking him for what i felt i needed – specifically my need for structure through discipline in addition to the arousal, pleasure, and release i get from his spankings – was crucial to our setting off on the right path.

i’ve gotten comments from people who for one reason or another have gone halfway on this first step finding themselves unsure how to correct the feeling that they’ve somehow gotten off course. “I got up the courage to tell my husband that I want to be spanked and now he thinks I’m kinky. He just doesn’t understand. It’s not just about that!”

For men, who often take things at face value if his woman tells him that she wants to be spanked then that is just what that means to him and he’ll either think it a nice new “spice” in the bedroom or will simply tell her he’s not interested in playing those kind of sexual games.

While domestic discipline often incorporates spanking, spanking isn’t all what it’s all about. Domestic discipline is about a loving disciplinary framework worked out and agreed upon by both partners. In this relationship, rules are laid out that both can live with from a compliance and an enforcement standpoint. She has to feel comfortable obeying them; he has to feel they are important enough to enforce. He has to agree to follow through. She has to agree not to abuse her need to feel boundaries by breaking them intentionally just to get punished. This relationship shouldn’t feel like a parent/child setting but a system between two equals.

Domestic discipline is a contract between you and your husband, with rules that must be followed in order for it to work. For a contract to work, it has to be understood by both parties, who have to agree to it. If a contract is going to be sustainable, it has to benefit both parties.

It helps to have already established a relationship with your husband where you can tell him your feelings and insecurities without the fear of reproach or ridicule. It really helps if you’re in a relationship with a husand with whom you can communicate and whom you respect. If the relationship is already rocky, the last thing you want to do is implement a system where there is a power imbalance. If your marriage isn’t strong, shelve DD awhile and work on the relationship. You can always try to implement it later.

If you can talk to him, tell him that you have a deep, unmet need for limits and guidelines. Tell him that you feel secure living under the rules of loving authority. Reassure him that you aren’t looking for a daddy but more of a mentor figure who will shepherd you within a loving framework.

Give him time to absorb this. Remember that in our politically correct culture, a male-dominated home may seem almost like an alien concept. In the initial conversation you may not even want to bring up the subject of  rules or consequences. Just let him know about your needs. Answer any questions he has as honestly as you can.

If he does understand and – best case scenario – this appeals to him then you will want to start brainstorming together about a possible rules and consequences. At this point you could bring up spanking. He may embrace the idea or he may really shy away from it because men are told they shouldn’t hit women. It’s a good idea at this point to let him in on what you already know, which is that quite a few principled men and women are living in arrangements where spanking and other consequences are used quite effectively. Again, give him time to absorb what you have said. If he’s so inclined he can solicit advice from some men who are already established as dominant partners in their relationship.

If he is open to the idea of a domestic discipline contract, shower him with love and appreciation. If he is reluctant, be understanding and patient. If he flat out refuses – worst case scenario – respect his feelings and try to imagine how you would feel if he were trying to convince you to discipline him. Some men are not interested in having a submissive wife, or in being a dominant husband and as much as it hurts, if you are in a relationship to stay then you must not push something on him that will bring him unhappiness.

Building a domestic discipline relationship is like building a house. It requires a good foundation of respect, understanding and patience. That foundation is your domestic discipline contract. If approached in a prudent manner dividends will pay off in the long run and you will both have a household that is the richer for it.

303 – First (Discipline) Spanking of 2023

Written by Marie on . Posted in Domestic Discipline, Spanking, Submissive Wife, Wife Spanking. No Comments on 303 – First (Discipline) Spanking of 2023

Was today. Today i was spanked … twice technically.

Every year i write about my first spanking of the year and this year it was today – Sunday, Feb 12. i nearly made it to Valentine’s Day, but fell short.

And it H-U-R-T!

In fact, i called Red. The first time i have ever called red!

My butt is still sore and red several hours after the fact, and will probably bruise by tomorrow.

The good news though…. We never fight, we solve issues timely, and other than my butt still not being happy, the rest of us are now all good.

All this following my most recent post declaring that i needed to be spanked. Just so you know, NO … i did NOT get myself spanked on purpose. In FACT, i was fairly surprised that i landed myself in this trouble and deserving of a spanking.

Okay…. So i will start at the beginning…..

Today is Sunday. i got up and started my typical Sunday with coffee and relaxing on the couch, and soon after that i was in the shower to get dressed shortly thereafter.

At the end of the shower, i played a (sexual) game with myself.

Later in the morning i texted David about it. Here is what i wrote to him….

After getting out of the shower and before I dressed today, I rode the monster cock to stretch my hole out a bit. I pretended you came in to take your shower, where you told me to get it out and stick it on that ledge between the shower and the tub. [The dildo i am referring to here is a really big one that has a suction cup on the base]

You said, “Turn around with your back to me and put your hands behind your back.”

I felt the handcuffs go on.

Then you said, “the rules are simple. I’m going to guide this cock into your pussy. You’ll stretch your hole, jump up and down on the dildo, just sit still feeling it deep inside… frankly, do whatever you want to it…. Except…. There will be NO orgasms, it WILL remain in your hole at least partially for the duration and …. Well… obviously no touching.”

You continued, “you’ll do this while I shower. When I’m done showering, I’ll let you come off the cock. You’ll have the (chastity) belt put on you and you’ll then be released from the cuffs. This will keep you from getting ideas of orgasm later on too. And we will repeat this tomorrow too. You’ll repeat it until you are the good submissive wife you know you should be. And when that happens is when you’ll get to orgasm.”

All I said was “yes Sir.”

^^^^^ That was all that i wrote to David a bit later in the morning. Some of it happened and some did not.

What did NOT happen…. David did not come in, i did not have orders to comply, nor did i have handcuffs. i did NOT orgasm.

What DID happen was …… i did ride that cock. i did stop before i orgasmed. And i did put the chastity belt on (myself).

When i had done all that, i picked up the belt key and walked into the room where David was and said, “For a variety of reasons, you haven’t enforced the rules, nor have i been particularly submissive as of late. So here is the key to my belt. i want and probably need to wear it for as long as you deem necessary.”

With that, David smiled and accepted the key. Then he motioned me over to him, and he proceeded to press on my upper back, forcing me to bend over at the waist. My top half was pressed onto the desk, and suddenly he pulled my pants down and started spanking my butt with his hand.

He said, “you have indeed had a pretty smart mouth with me a lot lately. You do need to be reminded who is in charge.” He didn’t say it, but i was thinking HE needed to be reminded who was in charge too!

He proceeded to give me a pretty good maintenance spanking right there over his desk. It hurt, like every spanking always does. But like always, i thanked him and that’s when he pulled me upward and kissed me.

Well… you’d think all that would’ve been enough to keep me from trouble. Again, i surprised myself at how quickly i landed myself in a discipline spanking situation today too.

Soon thereafter, we talked about how i was going to head off to church but David was going to stay home (for various reasons). He knew i was going to meet my sister at church too and because we typically go to lunch afterward, he asked me what i had planned for lunch. i told him that i had no plans as of yet.

That was when David then said, “I might cook something.”

And i noticed he was starting up his grill, but it was just to early to cook lunch so i wasn’t honestly sure what he was doing really.

So i went off to church. And at the end of the service, my sister and i decided to go to a restaurant together for lunch no i texted David and told him.

And that’s where my trouble started. He wrote me saying, “So I guess you chose not to eat my lunch I told you I was cooking.”

What?! He had said he might cook, he didn’t say for both of us… he didn’t clarify whatsoever. Ahh crap.

That’s when I wrote, “I didn’t understand. I thought you meant you might cook, and it would probably be for you. Do I need to go home?”

“No. You don’t need to come home. I told you I was going to cook something for us for lunch as you saw me doing.”

i suppose i did ..i saw him start up the grill. i just didn’t realize it was for lunch OR for both of us. (He does frequently bow out of meals together like this when others are involved and just eat alone. That’s what i thought.)

Despite him saying i did not need to go home, i did. i apologized to my sister and she understood, and i went home.

Upon walking in, i probably should have apologized to David. i did not. i wasn’t entirely sure what to expect as i wasn’t entirely sure how David felt, since texting is sometimes hard to know tone.

i greeted him. And he smirked. And then i took my jacket off and greeted the dog too. That’s when he asked me, “WHAT are you doing?”

When i attempted to respond, he said, “I think the better thing to do is go Assume the Fucking Position. NOW!” As he got further into that sentence, his voice began louder and more forceful and more angry. And his hand came up and pointed toward the bedroom.

i was surprised. i didn’t expect that to be his response really. i mean, i did come home. He said i didn’t need to. i greeted him upon entering the house.

But.

i did not apologize. i was NOT humble like i should have been. i didn’t even acknowledge it really.

Whatever.

Fine.

It is what it is!

i tried to contain my eyes so they didn’t roll across my face as i said, “Yes Sir.”

And i went to the bedroom. Undressed. i was naked… except for my chastity belt. i knew it had to stay on. And i got on the bed, putting a pillow under my hips to raise my butt in the air and make it more accessible.

It was about a second later and David was there. He grabbed up the whip, and wasted NO time thereafter. He swatted my right butt cheek so hard i nearly cried on the first swat!

And then he hit that same cheek over and over again. i heard the swat sound as it flipped up and down. i thought it sounded like a fly swatter making its mark. i thought about how dead that fly was after just one swat, but now it was colliding with my ass over and over again.

David never turned from the right butt cheek to the left. He focused 100% of his energy on that one cheek. i felt the tears forming in my eyes. i also felt the sting so badly in my bottom that i wasn’t sure how much more i could handle.

The swats were coming as fast as i have ever endured. All on my right butt cheek.

It took just a minute more and i was calling yellow. David didn’t care, he kept going. If anything, he sped up the timing of the swats. He never once even acknowledged the word “yellow,” where normally he slows down or pauses for a second. Not today.

After another bit, i hollered out, “Sir! i can’t take anymore. Pleaseeeee slow down…. Or switch sides….”

He didn’t. He kept delivering the pain to my butt with an exactness in each swat that he placed solely on my right butt cheek alone.

i didn’t want to, but i couldn’t help it. i hollered out, “RED! RED! SIR!”

And he stopped. And i fell into the pillow in front of me. i already felt my butt throbbing in pain as i tried to catch my breath and recover mentally. i didn’t move otherwise though.

I heard Sir say, “despite our texting, you still came home with an attitude. Are you past that now?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Are you sure? Because we have a whole other side I would be happy to turn red!”

“i am sure Sir.”

“Then all is forgiven. But you will wear the belt today. And don’t make me have to come back and redden your ass anymore today.”

“Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.”

He sat me up and kissed me. And i knew all was forgiven, as it always is.

As soon as i was dressed, we ate lunch. It tasted great… in fact, way better than what i would’ve eaten at the restaurant.

At one point, shortly after i was dressed, David made a comment that i seemed to be moving slowly. i said, “that’s what humility does for a person.”

At another point, he asked how i was feeling. i said, “half my butt is sore and the other half is a-ok.” He made a point to tell me he could fix that … meaning the other half could hurt too. i declined that gracious offer.

The rest of the day has been good. We are now preparing for sleep….. while still in my belt. The belt is effective.. and so is the whip. i knew i needed a good spanking, but i had hoped it would simply be maintenance and not a discipline one. i am much more humble and feeling a lot more submissive again tonight.

i do think i will be sleeping on my left side tonight though. Imagine that!

Hugs,

Marie

302 – Sometimes.. i just gotta ask to be spanked

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 302 – Sometimes.. i just gotta ask to be spanked

And yet.

i won’t ask for it.

Because ….

i don’t know how… without causing more trouble.

So i don’t.

And then i get cranky.

And unsubmissive.

And bratty. And defiant. And difficult. And (often) results in fights breaking out.

This week i have been very stressed out at work….. But so has my Sir. Fortunately, or not, our careers are both similar in that the times of the year we have a lot of deadlines (and stress) are the same.

So me being cranky, stressed, or difficult just causes more work for him. And in a lot of ways, i think that’s unfair of me to put on him. That instead of asking him to be a Dominant Dom for me, i need to get a grip, have more self control, and to straighten up and fly right.

i mean, really….. how hard is it to be submissive, follow the rules, and do as-is-expected?!? If i want him to be a Dominant Dom, why can’t i be a submissive submissive?! It seems what i need is to simple exercise more self control.

So. i need to be spanked. i need to be reminded of how to be submissive and how to straighten up and fly right. But. i won’t ask for it.

i need the endorphins to kick in, the way it always does, when the spanking(s) is administered just right. But. i won’t ask for it.

But. It isn’t fair or right for me to expect David to have more to-do’s on his already-full-list too.

Okay, so just ask already! Let him be the decision maker. Let him know my needs and be the one to decide yes, no, maybe. Just asking for my needs to be met does not put me in charge or a lot on him. And if it does seem too much for him, let him still be the one to have the ultimate decision making power. But. i won’t ask for it.

i was in the shower first this morning and i had all these thoughts that i just wrote down all running through my head. i even played out a scenario…. In my head …..As follows…..

Upon getting out of the shower and drying off, David materialized saying, “it’s Friday. That means maintenance. I’ve been lax lately and you sorely need to feel a sore butt today. As well, I sorely need to feel the power of being in control. Assume the Position.”

I didn’t argue as I knew he was right. I simply said, “Yes Sir,” and started to get on the bed and into position. That position is naked, head down, and my butt propped in the air with a pillow wedged under my hips.

My arms always lay flat and fully extended down to the bottom of the bed. This causes my forearms to press my boobs together and under the pillow that holds my butt in the air. When I am also propped up a bit onto my knees, my hands reach to my ankles and frequently I use my hands to hold onto my ankles. This all serves to get my arms out of the way, not allow me to use them to shield my bottom or to move out of position (any too easily).

David picks up his new favorite tool… the whip. He says, “this is going to be a good and hard maintenance. While usually I take it a little slower at first, that’s not going to happen today. As well, you know a lot of times with maintenance, I touch my pussy at the end and allow it to orgasm. That’s not going to happen today either.”

He continued, “we both know that we both need this maintenance today. And I want it to be about power exchange, not about your sexual pleasure. In fact, when this maintenance is complete, I’m going to hug and kiss you and tell you how much I love you. And then you’ll put on the chastity belt, bring me the key, and you’ll stay that way for the duration of the weekend or until I decide otherwise. Understood?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Do you accept all this freely?”

“Yes Sir.” (And I meant it too.)

And so it was.

The spanking was hard and fast, just as promised. I felt the whip collide with my butt over and over again. I was squirming and praying for the sting to subside, but of course, it didn’t. My butt started to feel hot, along with my whole body starting to sweat. I knew this was good for me, and it was needed, but at the same time not desirable either.

When David finally stopped, I was feeling way more humble and submissive. Of course, we both knew that was the goal.

As promised, he sat me up onto my knees while I was still on the bed where he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. His lips touched and kissed on my neck, until he pulled me back to kiss my lips too.

When he was done, he looked into my eyes and said, “I am so proud of you, my love. You are an amazing wife and your willingness to submit to me, as our head of household, is so sexy. You turn me on and make me love you that much more every single time your submission is this obvious and blatant.”

He finished with, “while I am indeed turned on and I’d like to touch my pussy to make it orgasm, I know that’s not what you need right now. You need to continue to be reminded how to submit and to not expect your pleasures to be met just because you want it. Go put the belt on and bring me the key.”

And I did. And he said, “good girl. Now go get ready for the day.”

And I did.

^^^^^^^^^ ALL that happened solely in my head!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ALL that is what i wanted to go tell David and have him do to me.

But i didn’t.

Why not?!?

Because. i am NOT in charge. i need to exercise more self discipline. i need to NOT put more to-do’s on him. i need it to be his ideas and his desires to Dominant me in ways that make him happy. NOT in ways that i want or make me happy.

So.

Instead, i am getting dressed and ready for work and saying nothing to him about this. i will try to just be a good submissive wife all on my own… by straightening up and flying right. Hopefully.

Have a good weekend my friends!

Hugs,

Marie

294 – Punished. Once, Twice, basically Three times.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. 5 Comments on 294 – Punished. Once, Twice, basically Three times.

i received a pretty large discipline spanking yesterday. As with ALL my discipline, it is consensual. And i accept it with as much grace as i can muster in the moment.

That said…. It takes some kind of rare talent for what i managed to do.

While being spanked, i managed to get myself into trouble again. And if you want to be technical about it, the spanking in progress at the time was for a double error, making this one be the third! Three issues in one day!

So David kept right on spanking to fix all these errors at the same time. He used his new favorite tool… the riding crop. And from the first swat to the last, they were delivered with intention and strength that resulted in my attitude radically changing rather rapidly and swiftly too!

Who does that?! How does that even happen?!

HOW exactly does a submissive wife get herself in trouble a second time while in the midst of being spanked for the first bit of trouble she already brought on herself?!

Yah, well, like i said… i managed to do all this with some sort of special ability that i didn’t even realize i had! Just call me a regular super hero!

i didn’t do ANY of this on purpose. In fact, it was quite the opposite actually. After receiving the maintenance on Friday, i was none-to-eager to have a repeat or better performance from David with my butt as the target!

But. As i sit here writing, my rear end is still red and quite sore. i expect it to bruise by tomorrow and hurt for several days. i won’t lie though, i love David even more for having administered this discipline spanking with the swift action and exactness it called for. i need his leadership and with it sometimes the discipline too. Today, i got both!

What exactly even happened?

Earlier today, our son and i set out of the house doing errands and other related activities. At one point, David texted me and asked if i was near Sam’s wholesale club. “Yes Sir.

Then he texted, “Then can you stop and get paper towels, dog treats, and 409 cleaning liquid?” And despite the wording as a question, it really wasn’t a question at all. So my response was the same…. “Yes Sir.”

And we did. Only, as i walked around the store, i thought about the 409 and said to our son, “We don’t need to get that. When Dad & i were cleaning out the garage a few weeks ago, i saw we have about 2-3 large bottles of it.” So i didn’t get the 409.

THAT WAS MISTAKE #1. Do you know exactly what it was? i didn’t. But i was absolutely informed about it while being spanked!

Upon arriving home, i told David straight away that i did not purchase the 409. He said, “we do NOT have any. What we have 2-3 bottles of is Windex window cleaner.”

To which my heart sank.

i realized he was right.

It wasn’t 409 cleaning solution, but rather Windex window solution that we discovered how much we truly had when cleaning up the garage.

And THAT WAS MISTAKE #2. To which i was also told more about as i was being spanked too.

David was angry. He said, “I needed the 409 to clean my grill thoroughly. I told you I needed it and you said you’d buy it.”

“i am sorry Sir.”

“I think you know what you need to do now, don’t you?”

“Yes Sir. i’ll go Assume The Position now.”

As i (fully) undressed in our bedroom, it occurred to me that i was not *truly* naked as i was still in my chastity belt. i debated whether to take it off to be compliant with my directive to be naked when i am spanked. But then, i didn’t have permission to take it off either. Then i debated going back out to the living room to ask, so i would have a clear directive. i ultimately decided to leave it on, in its place, and climb on the bed to be in position before David came in. THAT CHOICE WAS NOT A MISTAKE….. THANK GOD I MADE ONE GOOD DECISION TODAY!

When Sir came in, i was laying in position…. Face down, pillow under my hips to offer up my ass to Sir and to make the spanking easier for him, with the choice of implements (crop, cane, paddle) all at the base of the bed at the ready.

He picked one up, and laid it gently on my rear. i could tell from the way he placed it there, he was being intentional about it. He wanted me to know and think about what exactly was about to happen.

And i could also tell from the way it felt that it was the riding crop. Then he started to speak to me. He said, “I have no idea why you didn’t buy the 409, as I told you to. Care to tell me why?”

“Because i was certain we had it already.”

And the riding crop was pulled back from my bottom, giving me another 2-seconds notice of what i was about to feel. i heard the crop whip through the air and the crack it made as it collided with my ass.

i was immediately brought into the here-and-now, where i was abundantly aware of how much the crop bites into my rear end. From that very first swat, all the way to the last, it HURT… a LOT!

That’s when Sir laid it back on my bottom and spoke again, “wouldn’t it have been better to ask me before taking it upon yourself to just not do as I asked of you?”

“Well…. yes Sir, i probably should have.”

And the crop came away and SMACKED right down again. This second swat landing in the exact same spot as the first, causing it to hurt that much more!

“But you didn’t.”

Smack a third time in the exact same spot again.

“Would it have been so difficult for you to have just bought it anyway? What ‘if’ we did have some at home already, what would be the big deal to have had more? What would have been the trouble to have more?”

“No trouble at all Sir.”

“And yet. You didn’t do as you were told. Instead, you decided to not do as you were told. Since when are YOU in charge and allowed to disobey me so blatantly and obviously like that? It was a rather simple request, to which you said yes to. Correct”

MISTAKE #1 was simply failing to submit. All i had to do was follow the directive. Regardless of what i thought of it or what we had at home already, it wasn’t my place to “just decide” to NOT follow his orders.

MISTAKE #2 was the fact we actually didn’t have any. And i was dead wrong about not needing to buy the 409.

He was right to ask for me to buy it, i was already at the store, even “if” we had some at home it’s not expensive and wouldn’t have mattered to have more. i should’ve just done as told, or asked for more clarity, but Just deciding to do as i pleased was NOT the right answer at all.

Sir said, “because you chose to deny my orders intentionally, you earned yourself a spanking regardless if we had it or not. You were not acting in a submissive way at all. You thought you knew better. But the fact that we didn’t have any at home has caused this spanking to be worse than it had to be because you were wrong in your decision to not buy it.”

His riding crop continued to rain down swats to my ass as i contemplated all that he said. Every time i felt it pull away from my bottom i cringed and held my breath waiting for it to find its next resting place. Some of the time it was in the exact same location and sometimes it moved, to a new one. Some of the time the swats landed swiftly and succinctly and sometimes he paused and drew it out. But every-single-one was delivered with intention to make its point…. And that it did indeed!

Smack. After Smack. After Smack.

i felt the anxiousness and anticipation of each swat about to land cause my body to start to sweat. That happens nearly every time. i think that’s part of why i don’t cry really. Because my mind and body is in a different place, trying to get through each moment of the here-and-now, rather than allowing myself to relax and just let out the emotions.

THIS IS WHERE I PILED IT ON…

THIS is where i managed to get into even more trouble in the midst of being corrected for the previous trouble!

“What will you do next time?” Sir asked me.

i spewed out words as fast as i could and said, “i will listen.”

MISTAKE #3… causing me to have an even longer and more prolonged spanking. Do you know what i did? Or rather what i did NOT do? (i did not know or realize in that moment.)

SMACK!

“What will you do?”

“i will do as you ask.”

SMACK – this one felt a bit harder, if that was even possible.

“What did you say?”

“i promise i will listen.”

S-M-A-C-K.

“Want to try again?”

And i practically yelled out, “i will do as i am told. … …. … … SIR”

There it was. The lightbulb went off. i failed to show him the respect he deserves and has reminded me over and over again. i failed to say SIR.

SMACK SMACK SMACK (yet even MORE intensity).

He then held the crop still against my bottom again and he spoke quite calmly saying, “I don’t know why using the word Sir is so difficult for you! I expect to hear it, and you know it. So NOW this spanking has to be even longer than it already was.”

And he continued to reign down swats with the riding crop onto my sore rear end for a bit longer.

Now i started to feel the same heat rising from my bottom, all the way to my face. (Sir has NEVER spanked me anywhere except my ass, so the heat was not from his hand or the riding crop. It was all within me.). i know this is the first thing that happens when tears are nearing the surface.

i was finally starting to relax into the spanking and to accept it. The anxiousness of feeling each swat was starting to fade. i heard my mind telling myself, “Just allow it to happen. Just relax into the knowledge… and pain from the crop… that Sir is in charge. He loves you enough to teach you a lesson. Allow the tears to form!”

He asked me several times to repeat the word “Sir,” as he continued to smack my ass. i did so. He told me i would do well to comment the word to memory.

It was just a bit more and David stopped. He told me we were done and he waited for me to rise up onto my knees and face him, he always does that. i think i he wants to ensure i am ok, but also for me to see his face and trust that this is now forgiven too.

It’s also where i look into his eyes and with a humble heart, i express my thanks to him. He has never required that i do so, but i do. i want to be sure to let him know i did indeed accept his discipline. i never want him to think he has forced this on me or that this may be somehow misconstrued into an abusive situation. It is not. i am always accepting and thankful for his leadership and guidance… and the discipline too.

That’s when he kissed my lips and expressed his love. Then he left the room and i took a few more minutes to collect myself and re-dress.

As i did so, i decided i needed to go to the store and buy the 409 as he had previously asked. Not only did indeed to have a sore bottom and a regretful disposition, but i needed to make it right by doing the actions requested of me too.

And i did just that. After coming out with my shoes on, i said to David “i will go to the store and buy the 409 you requested now.”

He smiled and then said, “Good idea…. Of course… it would’ve been a lot easier to have gotten it the first time you were there… would it?!”

“Yes SIR.” << i am going to be using that word a lot more now!

i never did cry during the spanking. Frequently i cry AFTERWARD when i stop and think about it all, as that’s when everything relaxes and the tears start to flow freely. i’m not entirely sure if David even knows that happens or not. It’s ok either way.

But as i drove to the store… listening to nothing but my own thoughts…. the tears slowly dripped down my cheeks. i wasn’t crying from the pain of the spanking, although the heat between my butt and the car seat was real (!), but rather the fact i wasn’t the submissive wife i wanted to be. i know all is forgiven now, but i was thinking about all that transpired and the remorse was real.

David was right. If I had just done as instructed, all of this could’ve been avoided.

i will learn from this and do better.

PS.. The chastity belt…

Oh… and in case you are wondering…. The Chastity Belt stayed on throughout. It wasn’t even a second thought for David or me in the midst of the spanking.

Afterward, i told him about my quandary of whether to take it off, or ask, or to just leave it on. His words were, “you made at least one good choice today. If I want it off, you will hear me tell you so.”

After i was home from the store and after dinner, i asked if I could take the belt off and take a soaking/warm bath. Sir said yes. And when it was done, i inquired if it needed to go back on. He said, “while you have been disciplined today and all is forgiven, you have NOT earned the right to play or be played with.”

He continued, “If you think you don’t have the willpower to abstain, then yes, put the belt back on. But I think you’ve learned your lesson today and don’t wish another immediate spanking on top of the first, ….. because if you disobey me and play with yourself anyway, I will spank you again. So the choice is yours….”

i chose to leave it off. But in the middle of the night, as i turned over in my groggy sleep, i felt the covers cross slightly over my clit bringing hyper awareness to my mind and turning me on. i wanted to rub my clit SO badly. i debated whether i should have put on the belt already or even getting up to do it at that moment, but decided to try to ignore it. It took awhile to go back to sleep, but i did abstain. (Phew!)

Now i am off to find some cotton pants to wear to work today…….

Hugs,

Marie

290 – Absent in spirit

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 290 – Absent in spirit

We have been busy.

With Life.

After the Kentucky trip, we have had….

  • A family wedding in Nashville (that was outdoors in 30 degree weather. Oh my!),
  • Thanksgiving (which was lovely and low key),
  • My 51st birthday (i’m not ashamed or embarrassed about admittedly my age),
  • Trip to see our son in college (nice weekend with him),
  • My firm’s Christmas party (at our house with 22-people here, David cooked amazing food for it too. i didn’t make him, he wanted to. It was his gift to us and vice versa.)

All that in the course of 4 1/2 weeks.

All that on top of getting ready for Christmas with decorating, buying and wrapping presents, and of course…. Work.

It’s been unseasonably warm in our area. It’s normally 40’s lows to maybe 60’s highs. We’ve been having 60’s for lows and 80’s for highs.

While i love the hot weather, not everyone does. It’s sooooo much easier to be sexy in warm weather clothes than cold weather clothes.

Think about it… in the cold north, a conversation probably goes like this….

Him: I want to fuck you.

Her: oh yeah Sir?! I want that too.

Her again: just give me 10-minutes.

Him (annoyed): uhm. No. Don’t tell me I have to wait! NOW!

Her: well Sir, since it’s so cold out, I have 16-layers of clothes on and have to take them all off. That’s going to take awhile.

Lol. Yeah. So. NOT sexy.

So warm weather allows me to wear tank tops or a low-cut shirt, no bra, no panties… and be undressed in no time flat.

i can also sleep naked, or be in the house naked, much easier in warm weather.

Generally speaking, i feel way more more sexy in warm weather than in cold weather.

But i would say that David has been absent in spirit lately. With so many “life things” happening, he hasn’t had the least bit of focus on me, regardless of what i have on or do not… or whether the temp is cold or warm! (Yes, i am fully aware of how selfish that sounds!)

Now that’s not to say he’s not talked to me, done (vanilla) things with me, nor has he been entirely or literally gone.

He’s just not held me accountable or maintained our Domestic Discipline dynamic. At all.

i have been trying to NOT get anxious, upset, or angry about the (perceived) neglect. i know i am loved. i know i am not ignored, forgotten, or neglected. But it feels like it to me. And sometimes what we perceive becomes our truth.

i just wish he’d hold me accountable. i just wish he’d stay the course of our dynamic. i just wish he would bent me over his knee already.

i know i need to tell him. But HOW to tell him has been problematic.

If i……

Brat…

….. Which is where i become cranky, disobedient, disrespectful, and …. Challenging, that is unbecoming. It also, usually, just makes David annoyed and/or angry.

i don’t chose to be a brat quite as literally as it may seem. It’s somewhat like having a bad day. You don’t start out saying, “hey, I want to have a bad day today.” And yet, sometimes it just happens anyway.

And to take that even further, when a bad day does happen, sometimes you think, “I am NOT going to let this continue.” And yet it just does.

So being “bad” and throwing a temper tantrum isn’t the right answer, but admittedly, i have done a bit of this. Yet David has let it go and not held me accountable.

What exactly have i done? Well…. i decided he hasn’t paid ANY attention to my puss. He doesn’t seem to care if i touch it or not. i decided to NOT shave it until he pays attention to it.

On Saturday, he decided to lay me on the bed, spread my legs, and lick me to orgasm. (Yah, i know this is paying attention to me, which is exactly what i am complaining about. But. This is the one and only sexual type interaction we’ve had in nearly 6-weeks.).

He didn’t even comment about the hair. i dared him to. He didn’t. He should have. It was annoying that he didn’t.

Top from the Bottom…

…. i’d just tell him what to do, or maybe tell him “what you should do in this situation is….”

Turn me over and spank me, like the spoiled brat that i am acting like.

Or stand me in the corner until further notice.

Or (fill in the blank)…..

But i don’t want to tell him what to do. i want him to enforce the rules, do maintenance spankings, tell me to wear the Chastity Belt, or WHATEVER…. because he wants to do it and NOT just because i am telling him to do those things.

Try talking to him…

Yes, i know. THIS is the most logical. But i am already thinking he’s just going to hear my words as Topping because i think i hear it that way already too.

i can hear the conversation now….

Me: “you aren’t holding me accountable.”

Him: “ok. We’ve been busy.”

Me: “yes, but you should….”

Okay… right there…. i am Topping from the Bottom. Telling him what he’s NOT doing and how to DO something (anything) better

Send him a link of this post…

But that’s likely just another version of Topping from The Bottom.

SUMMARY…..

i am getting increasingly annoyed and unhappy…. Which is making me cranky. Which is probably going to lead to me being a Brat… even more. Just to get his attention.

See a pattern here? See the circular reference?

Ugh.

Suggestions?

Until then… no matter hot weather or not, i will wear what i want, when i want!

Hugs,

Marie