255 – All aboard… the emotional train wreck
If today is any indication of what the rest of the week holds, i am already SURE that this week will end up with me in trouble. And i will be shocked if i don’t end up being spanked. Hard.
What’s more is… a spanking may help ground me.
Despite knowing this will be where i end up, i don’t see any real way to head it off at the pass! i am now just accepting it for what it is.
It is what it is.
What the heck am i talking about? yea, well….
This week, on Wednesday, we are taking our only child (son) to college. And I am full of emotions…. happy, sad, stressful, weak, strong, bossy, organized, hanging on while letting go … i am being “that Mom” right now who can’t hold it together.
This morning i almost got into a fight with David… over toilet paper. Yeah, TP! i thought the toilet room had a run out, so i went to get more from the stash in the garage. On my way back David says, “there’s some in there.” i’m like, “No, just ran out.”
He jumps in front of me and goes to look. Yes, i missed it. There was a 4-pack in there. And i got irritated and said, “Were you just wanting to prove me wrong or what?”
Yea, that didn’t make him happy. He gave me a lecture about how i only want to submit when it’s convenient for me and that’s not how it’s supposed to work. The whole time he was talking i was thinking, “yea, right. Whatever.”
I was smart enough to NOT say that out loud, which saved my ass.
Later at work, i texted him saying, “i’d like to talk about this morning but i can’t find any way to say something that is respectful.”
He texted back, “I should’ve realized you are stressed this week, so much so that you are in your own world and oblivious to your surroundings.”
Well, that angered me too. i mean, it might’ve been true but i sure didn’t think so! But again, i was smart enough to not say anything.
That’s how my Monday morning and week started.
Wednesday will be tough. There are some positives to being an empty nester, namely our D/s dynamic will be easier.
Then Thursday will happen too. i have an initial meet and greet set up to meet a potential 2nd Dom. David knows and approves. He knows a lot about me already, including that i have a chastity belt. He told me to wear it to coffee. Not sure yet if i will. We will see what happens. One step at a time. This happened after David told me he wanted to learn to spank/discipline more effectively. i decided to see if i could make that happen and here we are with a potential match. Maybe that spanking that i think is inevitable will be delivered by this new Dom. Time will tell.
By Friday, i may be sad or flat out depressed without my son. i may be ecstatic with a potential new Dom. i may be exhausted from a draining week. All i know for sure is that this much chaos in one week usually adds up to be a recipe for disaster and usually leads to me running my mouth in a bad way which usually gets myself spanked.
So while i see a train wreck of emotions about to happen for me, and trouble on the other side, i don’t know how to change it. i don’t want to NOT feel emotions this week, but i don’t want to do it at my bottom’s expense either!
i hope i survive!
Hugs,
Marie