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38 – Orgasm control sucks

So ever since i asked for a spanking, David has become ever the leader in our house. We had gotten away from DD … not from an intentional discussion or decision, but really just from “life” getting in the way.

And i realized how much i needed it, and i missed it, and i wanted it back. So i asked to be spanked. And i asked to go back to DD and him being the leader of our house. And ever since that day a month’ish ago…..

Now ….. he’s R-E-AL-L-Y in control.

And i didn’t appreciate how much control i had.

Specifically over my ability to pleasure myself and to orgasm.

But he wants control over my mind AND body. And in my head, i’m like, “YES! i want you in control.” But in my nether parts, i’m thinking more like, “he’s a man. He likes to be pleasured and i can get what i want by giving him what he wants”.

i tried hard to seduce Sir tonight. i was horny and wanted to have him. So i started by flirting. i did ask if i could kiss him. (He said yes). So i started out correctly. Then i sat beside him, took my top down, and started rubbing on him. Starting at his chest and working down.

And he grabbed my hand and said, “stop being so aggressive.”

i smiled and said, “i’d like to make you happy.”

He responded with, “NO, you want to make YOU happy.”

He knows me too well.

So he told me to stop or else i’d regret it. i didn’t. i kept on.

And he stood up and went and got the paddle.

He laid back down on the couch and looked me square in the eye with the paddle in hand and said, “are you sure you want to continue? You will regret it!”

So i stopped. And pouted. He told me to stop being a brat or else i’d regret that too.

Great. i’m turned on and can’t get him turned on. In all fairness, he WAS watching a tv show when i “got aggressive.”

So i sat on the floor next to him and waited. Topless of course.

When the second commercial came on, he said, “stand up.” So i did. And he said “because you made better choices in the end, i’m going to reward you. Show me that pussy.” So i lifted the nightgown i had on (a sexy one, not your grandma’s!) and because that was the only thing i had on, his tongue connected with my parts.

And oh-my…. i was in heaven and my eyes rolled back in my head. And when i asked if i could cum, he pulled away and said, “no.” And he was DONE.

What?? You are done?? You can’ttttttt be! NO… don’t stop…..

He said, “discipline. We need to work on it. With orgasms AND you’re ability to follow instructions the first time. Now go sit down and let me watch my show.”

So while i respect him, i don’t always listen to him. At least not the first time anyway. Ugh.

And he’s probably right about me needing to learn to listen the FIRST time, to follow directions, and understand great things come to those who wait. (Ok, fine…not “probably right”…. he IS right. Happy? i admitted it even to you!)

Additionally, there’s more than one way to get a point across. He didn’t have to use the paddle, just the sight of it and the orgasm control was all it took to have it’s full effect.

But now i reallyyyyyyyyyy want to cum.

When i told him that, he said, “maybe tomorrow.”

i’m going to struggle to wait til tomorrow. And i can only hope that tomorrow will be the day.

So that’s that. i officially don’t like orgasm control. But i do like David being in control…. i really do. i love him and our marriage…. leadership, denial, and punishments too. Really…. i mean it….punishments too – because while it hurts, it makes me show respect and submission and that is the biggest turn on of all!

Hugs,

Marie

14 – Pleasure to pain.. in the same day.

So i’ve had an interesting submissive day today … pain to pleasure…. in a mere 12 hours time too!

Let me tell you about my day….

i typically work from home on Wednesdays.  i am never able to get done what i need to at the office so i work from home every Wed to try to make up for it.  And the place won’t fall apart without me for ONE day.  But today i had to go in for a meeting at 10:00.  So i drug my feet and went there “late” (at 9:00).

Orgasm Control Training

But before i went, David took our son to school.  And we recently – like this week – jointly decided we want to start doing (my ) orgasm control at his discretion.

Since the DD decision, i’ve had to ask to masturbate but he hasn’t told me when i can or can not cum.  Until now.

i’ve read a lot of blogs now about it and there are people who can “cum on command“.  The blog post said, “Right there in the middle of the bread aisle”.   Interesting.  i’m not sure i want to cum in the bread aisle, but i thought it was an awesome display of submissiveness, so i wanted it.  YES, i asked for it!

Just a sidebar – i don’t know WHAT i was thinking when i agreed to this.  In fact, it was MY IDEA!  Sir said, “Careful what you wish for….” and i was like, “NO, i really want to do this for you, for us, and as a show of my submissiveness”.   WELL, in my HEAD that sounded awesome, and frankly, coming out of my mouth it did too.  And i was PROUD of my decision.

For about a whole minute.

That “Minute” was THE MINUTE i wanted to orgasm and Sir said no.  (WHAT?! NO?!?  You are kidding me, right?!?!).

But i digress… because THAT MINUTE was a few days ago…. so let me get back to this morning…..

So David took our son to school.  He told me to “Lay on the bed, with the rabbit toy, and watch porn.  Bring yourself to the EDGE and stop.  DO NOT CUM.  And do this the entire time i’m gone and i’ll tell you when to stop”.

Our son’s school is 20-minutes away – one way.  So for 40-minutes i had to watch porn, and use the vibrator on myself but DO NOT CUM.

(REALLY, what was i thinking?!?  Is it too late to retract my request to submit to Sir THIS MUCH?  Maybe i could just submit with my clothes ON!?!?!  YES?!?!?!  LOL.  Okayyyyyy…. fine… doing this thing).

When David got back, i was so insanely turned on.  i could only hope that he’d allow me to cum … soon…  like NOW.

My fear was that he’d not let me cum at all and i’d have to ‘get dressed and go to work now.’.  But, he did not disappoint.  He entered the bedroom and asked me if i had came while he was gone.  i was like, “NO, i promise i haven’t, but Pleaseeeeeee Sir, may i cum now?”

NO.

ME:  WHAT?!?!  PLEASE!?!?

And he touched my clit.  it was SO enlarged and swollen i almost jumped off the bed with the slightest touch.  Then he took the porn away.  Then he took the vibrator away.  And he played with me himself.  And he said, “CUM NOW”.  And i did.

And then i went to work.

The next thing i know, i go from pleasure to pain…. in the same day.

THEN THE PADDLE

spanking paddle

To tell you WHY i got paddled first…..

Sir and i have the same profession.  He works for a firm and i work for myself.  And from time to time, he helps me get through busy times at work by doing some review work for me.  (He volunteers and i always take him up on it.  He knows i need the help and he has the time and the skill set, so it is a win-win.  And i love him for it!).  So today was one of those days.

He reviewed two projects that were substantially the same, and when i got home, he was talking to me about the results.  Well, i got confused about which project he was talking about because – it seemed to me anyway – that he was talking back and forth about both of them and i couldn’t keep up with the conversation.

Now, you’d think HE would be frustrated with me… like a “Keep up!” kind of comment.  But i was frustrated with him!  i had to say, “Are you talking about X or Y? i have no idea what you are talking about!”.  And then he started talking.  And i said with a very annoyed tone, “WHAT are you talking about?!  i’m not listening until you clarify because i’m confused!”

So – WHAT i said was probably not allllll that bad — but the WAY i said it was so completely off base it wasn’t even funny.  As soon as it came out of my mouth, and i felt the annoyance in my body language and realized how it sounded, i knew it was wrong.

But Sir didn’t say anything, so i acted like nothing happened.

We finished our convo and i was about to head outside to play ball/ fetch with the dog.

And that’s when he stopped me and said, “Do you think you were annoyed with me?”

Me: “Uhmmm…. yes Sir”.

Him:  “Go to the bedroom”.

Oh geez – here we go….

i dropped my pants and put my hands on the bed, head down, feet on the floor, spread shoulder-width apart.

And i heard the bedside stand dresser draw open and close.  The Paddle.  Here it comes.

SMACK.

SMACK.

SMACK.

Me:  (OUCH) —- “Please Sir, i’m sorry.  i spoke to you poorly and let my frustration get the best of me.  i will not let….

SMACK.

SMACK.

SMACK.

ME:  “that happen again.”

SMACK.

Him:  “WHY are you lying to me?”

SMACK.

Me:  “What do you mean?  Please Sir…. i promise”

SMACK.

Him:  “I seriously doubt that you will ‘not let it happen again’”

ME:  “Sir, i will do my best to….”

SMACK

ME:  “… not let it happen again.”

SMACK.

ME:  (Tears in my eyes, squirming….), “Thank you Sir”

Him:  “That’s what I was waiting for.”

And he put the paddle away and held me in his arms and told me i was a Good Girl.

Back to Orgasm Control

With that, standing naked in the bedroom and in his arms, he reached down between my legs and put a finger inside me.

And said, “CUM NOW”.

And he pushed two fingers in and out and i grabbed his arm and held on to not fall.

And i came.  Twice.  THAT fast.

forced orgasm

In “THAT MINUTE”… or “THIS MINUTE” … or “NOW”.

Conclusion:

NO matter what, through pleasure AND pain, and back again, i am his and he is mine. i will always submit to him and he will always control me.

And i welcome tomorrow….

With a sore, red ass.

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie

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