269 – WANT versus NEED
“Do you NEED to be let out (of the belt)?” was the question my Sir just asked me.
This is after wearing it all day yesterday and all night last night and all day today. Unless you count the 20-minutes i was allowed to be out for the shower this morning, i have been continuously locked now for 38-hours… and counting.
Yesterday morning Sir said, “you’ve been out long enough, now put it on.” For no particular at all, he just said as much. i complied. It went on without complaint.
i was actually happy to put it on really. When i don’t have it on, i start to miss it. And it had been off for about 24-hours already.
As mentioned in my previous post, by the end of the day i kinda wondered if he even remembered i had it on as absolutely nothing was said about it the remainder of the day.
Usually he plays with me as we relax on the couch in the evenings. Last night, however, he said he wasn’t feeling terribly well. He was tired and feeling washed out. i was disappointed the belt didn’t come off, not because i WANTED it off, but rather because i was looking forward to being played with.
i kinda expected this would mean the belt would now stay on overnight, but i wasn’t too sure. So as we were then in bed, i casually asked if he wanted to “see his pussy.” He laughed and said, “yah right, nice try.” And that was that.
Remember your (unofficial) mantra…. I WILL NOT BEG FOR RELEASE. IT IS A PRIVILEGE TO BE OUT OF THE BELT. One that is not afforded to me right now.
So i smiled and said, “ok, just offering.” Because i will be a good girl and NOT BEG for release.
And we went to sleep. i have slept in the belt before, so this wasn’t new or unusual or problematic.
About 2am i woke up and was touching myself. NO, not my puss, it was covered up! Instead i was rubbing seductively on my leg and the edge of the belt and ….. WANTING to masturbate. WANTING to orgasm. WANTING the belt off.
I WILL NOT BEG FOR RELEASE. IT IS A PRIVILEGE TO BE OUT OF THE BELT….. and that privilege does NOT include masturbating (without permission) anyway.
Now i wasn’t happy at all that the belt was on. i felt those previous thoughts of resentment towards the belt creeping in. i recognized it for what it is this time and squashed it down though. i did not NEED the belt off. i was just a sexually frustrated submissive wife, being properly held in check!
“Go back to sleep and get over yourself!” i did go back to sleep, but not a restful or solid sleep either.
This morning i did ask Sir, “can i use the key to be released for a shower?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you Sir.”
The entire time i was in the shower i wrestled with my mind….
“i could leave it off today, and it probably would be ok.”
“Maybe i NEED to ask if it’s okay to leave it off.”
“If he WANTED it off, he would’ve said. I WILL NOT BEG.”
“But he did allow it off for the shower.”
“Yah, and JUST the shower.”
“Maybe i should ask.”
“WHY do i need to ask anything? You know if he WANTED it to stay off, he would’ve said.”
And i do not NEED to have it off. i only WANT to have it off.
While i was in the shower, per usual, i took the shower head down off its (magnetic) slot holder and waved the water over my clit in a very seductive way. i do this daily. It is a form of edging that is quite effective. i don’t touch myself with my hand, usually, but rather the water does all the work. Its not enough to get me to orgasm, but it sure is arousing.
While i was in the shower today, i let my left hand hold the shower head, while my right hand touched my clit. i decided a little closer to the edge wouldn’t be a bad thing at all.
And i rubbed on myself. Damn this feels good. A little more. You can go closer to the edge. Go faster. Yah, that’s it, that’s it…. That’s…. STOP RIGHT NOW!
And as hard as it was to pull my hand away and stop, because i WANTED that O so badly, i did.
And I got out of the shower, dried quickly, and …..
So i put it back on.
As i covered his pussy up, i apologized to her. i told her i was sorry i teased her that way but now she’s to be a good girl and be put away until Sir WANTS to see her again. She pouted. i didn’t blame her.
After i was at work, i texted him and told him how i wrestled with the decision about what to do about the belt …. ask/not or leave it off/ put it on. But how i ultimately decided to put it on, and when he’s ready for it to be off, he will tell me. i ended the text with, “did i assume correctly Sir?”
“YES! You did good.” was his response.
As the day wore on, i realized (at times) i had forgotten it was even there. It is becoming like a second skin. It fits snuggly and doesn’t move. That’s a good thing. When i had it a bit larger, it moved and sometimes chaffed. The tighter and more restrictive, the better. It feels better, but then it also works better. It’s way more difficult to get a finger under the plate when it’s snug and fitted than if it were looser.
i like the way it hugs me tightly. i love having a secret at work that no one knows except for me (and my Sir). It turns me on to be his submissive wife, wearing his CB to protect what is his!
i thought about how i do not NEED to take it off, but i still WANT to though too. i know though that to say the ONLY reason i WANT it off is to orgasm! It’s really here for a reason and it’s a good thing. Really, it is!
i really WANT to ask David, “when will you allow me to be released?”
But i won’t. Why? Because i can’t figure out a way to ask that i won’t be BEGGING FOR RELEASE! How do you say, “when will you allow me to be out of this belt?” without sounding as if i am begging? And if i were to get a release, i would then beg to be touched and beg to orgasm. And begging is unbecoming of a good submissive wife.
I WILL NOT BEG FOR RELEASE.
And … i need to submit to his authority on this. He will tell me when the release will happen and until then, i NEED to accept it.
i really do love the way this CB feels and the way it does it’s job. It keeps me in check. i wish i didn’t NEED it and that i was strong enough to not touch myself or orgasm without permission, but i just don’t think i am.
As i was on the way home from work tonight, i was thinking about how i just KNOW he’s going to produce the key and release me once i get home. i have never gone two consecutive nights with it on, so i am sure he won’t have me do it now. Besides, i am sure he knows how needy i am to orgasm, so he will probably indulge my NEED.
When i got home, he was on the couch watching tv. i went and took off my clothes and remained naked. i walked into the living room and i heard a groan of approval. i laid on the couch and snuggled up to him.
i tried to touch his cock but he stopped me, saying, “No. Not tonight.” Apparently his allergies are kicking his ass and that’s the cause of his lack of energy and not feeling well. Ugh. i really WANTED to touch his cock and slide it down my throat too. i am so in NEED of him sexually, that even if i don’t get a belt release or O of my own, i WANTED him!
So instead then i turned where i was on my back, leaning against his chest, and i opened my legs. He said, “that ain’t happening either. Unless you NEED to be let out. Do you?”
“Do i NEED to be let out? i would have to say no, Sir.” was my response.
“You don’t NEED to orgasm?”
“Oh yes, i would love to. But i think that’s more of a WANT than a NEED.”
He laughed and said, “you really ought to learn to lie about your NEEDS more. I was going to let you out to masturbate and come. I’m afraid you are going to bug me too much and I’m not feeling up to it.”
I WILL NOT BEG FOR RELEASE. IT IS A PRIVILEGE TO BE OUT OF THE BELT….. and that doesn’t include bugging Sir about orgasms too. Or include lying. Or include making a WANT to have an orgasm somehow turn into a NEED.
But i soooo WANT to orgasm! This belt is seductive as it touches my clit all day long, loving on it, yet denying it anything more at all.
Now he’s taken some decongestants and allergies meds and gone to sleep. And i am in belt still.
i couldn’t lie about NEED VERSUS WANT. i really WANTED to lie.. to get a release from the belt AND to orgasm. But i couldn’t.
This is now going to be the longest continuous time in belt ever.
This is good for me. It’s a challenge. More of a mental one than a physical one. To NOT BEG. And to tell myself i do not NEED to orgasm, it is only a WANT.
Besides we get what we NEED, not what we WANT. And i’d say what i really NEED is to be in belt and not out. Discipline is good, even if it has to be forced upon me with this belt still in its place. i love this belt and what it does for me.
i will be off to sleep now. And thankful for what i have, and not upset about what i do not have (but surely do WANT).
(And to think, the permanent, really nice chastity belt isn’t even here yet. i may NEED to orgasm more after it arrives!)
Release will happen soon. Release from CB and the O i so desperately NEED… ok, not a NEED just a WANT. Maybe tomorrow. Probably tomorrow.
Hugs,
Marie