As i was thinking it may happen, it’s now official! i have a clear directive – or Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) – has now been decided and communicated to me.
i am to “assume there is a standing order to wear the belt, unless told otherwise with a specifically communicated reason to not wear it.”
i have now had the Fancy Steel, permanent and more durable and more fitted, Chastity Belt for one week now. i have been in-belt more than out-of-belt during the last week too.
Thinking about the times i have been out-of-belt the most over this last week, it has been overnight. i have only slept in the belt one night so far.
Yesterday evening, i asked permission to be out-of-belt as David had heated up our pool and i wanted to go swimming. While i ended up NOT swimming (not a relevant point), i was given permission to be out-of-belt. So it was off from (about) 7p last night and is still off now at 5:30p. It is now (about) 22’ish consecutive hours out-of-belt. While i haven’t officially calculated it out, it’s probably the longest consecutive amount of time out-of-belt in the last 7-days.
But the belt will go back on as soon as i home from work, which is to happen in the next hour.
The directive for the now SOP came late this morning when i had been at work for just a bit.
i was struggling with what to do (wear or not wear the belt, ask or not ask if i should, etc!), so i started a text dialogue with David, as follows:
So as i was preparing for work, i decided to take some leftovers from last night’s dinner for my lunch today. i was getting out the plastic/ storage dishes and scooping food into the smaller ones to take “just some” of it to work, when David came into the kitchen and inquired about what i was doing.
When i told him, he said, “Just take the whole (full) container” and i said (with a little sharper tone and demeanor than i had intended), “No. i don’t need all this. And i don’t want to stand at the microwave (at work for lunch) heating this entire dish of food, when i want just a small portion.”
Well. Sir said, “it doesn’t look like the new container that you are using is much smaller than the one that has the original food. Just take it all.”
“Yes, i know. We just don’t own many small single-serve storage containers. But i don’t need to take all this with me so this is easier.” (Again, too much “tone” went with this statement!)
That was when David’s eyebrows raised up and he asked in a stern voice, “why are you talking to me in this tone?! And why are you not just doing as I told you to?”
i was a bit snappy for sure. My response was, “i just don’t need the entire container at work is all.”
That’s when he didn’t appreciate me NOT recognizing or apologizing for the tone i used and said, “bend over the counter!”
And so he gave me a small (clothing on) spanking with his hand, that i definitely felt, and that we were both aware was to make a point more than anything. It was a reminder. Of what could come if i continue on.
He then said, “if you want to keep this up, the next spanking will be worse.”
“Yes Sir. i’m sorry Sir.” And then i was off to work (with my smaller containers of portion-appropriate food in hand).
Soooo when he asked me the question above about whether the belt was on or off when i was arguing this morning, that was what it was in reference to.
And this was the next part of our texting conversation:
i admitted to him (and you too), i was snarky.
Sir didn’t have to say it. i knew. He thinks that i am more submissive when i am in-belt than when i am out-of-belt. i’m not sure if that’s true or not, but it may well be. i just don’t know. But i think we are nearing the point where we will be finding out soon!
And then i waited to hear more. We went radio-silent for a bit. i knew he needed time to think and i couldn’t demand an immediate answer. That’s understandable.
But that understanding didn’t seem to last too long. About an hour later, this was the next part:
So. Now i know. The SOP is to “assume the belt goes on. Until or unless it is explicitly said otherwise.”
AND i got a positive confirmation that he still intends to use and play with me. So there’s that!
The very last of our conversation went like this:
So i said thanks, and acknowledged/ admitted i will willingly submit.
If i’m being honest, i’m not certain how i feel about this.
This is no longer a fantasy, or a “scene,” but instead it now a way of life. While i expected it, and we’ve been moving ever closer to this really, knowing it and living it aren’t entirely the same. The very true and full reality that my control is completely taken away is about to hit me hard.
i think i will like it, but i am a bit nervous too. i will keep you posted!
What i know without a doubt is that now the “Belt Rules” are all feeling super real!
Lastly – if you are curious about the “get it fixed” part…. Well…. that will be expanded on as part of my “full belt review” still to come.
i received a pretty large discipline spanking yesterday. As with ALL my discipline, it is consensual. And i accept it with as much grace as i can muster in the moment.
That said…. It takes some kind of rare talent for what i managed to do.
While being spanked, i managed to get myself into trouble again. And if you want to be technical about it, the spanking in progress at the time was for a double error, making this one be the third! Three issues in one day!
So David kept right on spanking to fix all these errors at the same time. He used his new favorite tool… the riding crop. And from the first swat to the last, they were delivered with intention and strength that resulted in my attitude radically changing rather rapidly and swiftly too!
Who does that?! How does that even happen?!
HOW exactly does a submissive wife get herself in trouble a second time while in the midst of being spanked for the first bit of trouble she already brought on herself?!
Yah, well, like i said… i managed to do all this with some sort of special ability that i didn’t even realize i had! Just call me a regular super hero!
i didn’t do ANY of this on purpose. In fact, it was quite the opposite actually. After receiving the maintenance on Friday, i was none-to-eager to have a repeat or better performance from David with my butt as the target!
But. As i sit here writing, my rear end is still red and quite sore. i expect it to bruise by tomorrow and hurt for several days. i won’t lie though, i love David even more for having administered this discipline spanking with the swift action and exactness it called for. i need his leadership and with it sometimes the discipline too. Today, i got both!
What exactly even happened?
Earlier today, our son and i set out of the house doing errands and other related activities. At one point, David texted me and asked if i was near Sam’s wholesale club. “Yes Sir.
Then he texted, “Then can you stop and get paper towels, dog treats, and 409 cleaning liquid?” And despite the wording as a question, it really wasn’t a question at all. So my response was the same…. “Yes Sir.”
And we did. Only, as i walked around the store, i thought about the 409 and said to our son, “We don’t need to get that. When Dad & i were cleaning out the garage a few weeks ago, i saw we have about 2-3 large bottles of it.” So i didn’t get the 409.
THAT WAS MISTAKE #1. Do you know exactly what it was? i didn’t. But i was absolutely informed about it while being spanked!
Upon arriving home, i told David straight away that i did not purchase the 409. He said, “we do NOT have any. What we have 2-3 bottles of is Windex window cleaner.”
To which my heart sank.
i realized he was right.
It wasn’t 409 cleaning solution, but rather Windex window solution that we discovered how much we truly had when cleaning up the garage.
And THAT WAS MISTAKE #2. To which i was also told more about as i was being spanked too.
David was angry. He said, “I needed the 409 to clean my grill thoroughly. I told you I needed it and you said you’d buy it.”
“i am sorry Sir.”
“I think you know what you need to do now, don’t you?”
“Yes Sir. i’ll go Assume The Position now.”
As i (fully) undressed in our bedroom, it occurred to me that i was not *truly* naked as i was still in my chastity belt. i debated whether to take it off to be compliant with my directive to be naked when i am spanked. But then, i didn’t have permission to take it off either. Then i debated going back out to the living room to ask, so i would have a clear directive. i ultimately decided to leave it on, in its place, and climb on the bed to be in position before David came in. THAT CHOICE WAS NOT A MISTAKE….. THANK GOD I MADE ONE GOOD DECISION TODAY!
When Sir came in, i was laying in position…. Face down, pillow under my hips to offer up my ass to Sir and to make the spanking easier for him, with the choice of implements (crop, cane, paddle) all at the base of the bed at the ready.
He picked one up, and laid it gently on my rear. i could tell from the way he placed it there, he was being intentional about it. He wanted me to know and think about what exactly was about to happen.
And i could also tell from the way it felt that it was the riding crop. Then he started to speak to me. He said, “I have no idea why you didn’t buy the 409, as I told you to. Care to tell me why?”
“Because i was certain we had it already.”
And the riding crop was pulled back from my bottom, giving me another 2-seconds notice of what i was about to feel. i heard the crop whip through the air and the crack it made as it collided with my ass.
i was immediately brought into the here-and-now, where i was abundantly aware of how much the crop bites into my rear end. From that very first swat, all the way to the last, it HURT… a LOT!
That’s when Sir laid it back on my bottom and spoke again, “wouldn’t it have been better to ask me before taking it upon yourself to just not do as I asked of you?”
“Well…. yes Sir, i probably should have.”
And the crop came away and SMACKED right down again. This second swat landing in the exact same spot as the first, causing it to hurt that much more!
“But you didn’t.”
Smack a third time in the exact same spot again.
“Would it have been so difficult for you to have just bought it anyway? What ‘if’ we did have some at home already, what would be the big deal to have had more? What would have been the trouble to have more?”
“No trouble at all Sir.”
“And yet. You didn’t do as you were told. Instead, you decided to not do as you were told. Since when are YOU in charge and allowed to disobey me so blatantly and obviously like that? It was a rather simple request, to which you said yes to. Correct”
MISTAKE #1 was simply failing to submit. All i had to do was follow the directive. Regardless of what i thought of it or what we had at home already, it wasn’t my place to “just decide” to NOT follow his orders.
MISTAKE #2 was the fact we actually didn’t have any. And i was dead wrong about not needing to buy the 409.
He was right to ask for me to buy it, i was already at the store, even “if” we had some at home it’s not expensive and wouldn’t have mattered to have more. i should’ve just done as told, or asked for more clarity, but Just deciding to do as i pleased was NOT the right answer at all.
Sir said, “because you chose to deny my orders intentionally, you earned yourself a spanking regardless if we had it or not. You were not acting in a submissive way at all. You thought you knew better. But the fact that we didn’t have any at home has caused this spanking to be worse than it had to be because you were wrong in your decision to not buy it.”
His riding crop continued to rain down swats to my ass as i contemplated all that he said. Every time i felt it pull away from my bottom i cringed and held my breath waiting for it to find its next resting place. Some of the time it was in the exact same location and sometimes it moved, to a new one. Some of the time the swats landed swiftly and succinctly and sometimes he paused and drew it out. But every-single-one was delivered with intention to make its point…. And that it did indeed!
Smack. After Smack. After Smack.
i felt the anxiousness and anticipation of each swat about to land cause my body to start to sweat. That happens nearly every time. i think that’s part of why i don’t cry really. Because my mind and body is in a different place, trying to get through each moment of the here-and-now, rather than allowing myself to relax and just let out the emotions.
THIS IS WHERE I PILED IT ON…
THIS is where i managed to get into even more trouble in the midst of being corrected for the previous trouble!
“What will you do next time?” Sir asked me.
i spewed out words as fast as i could and said, “i will listen.”
MISTAKE #3… causing me to have an even longer and more prolonged spanking. Do you know what i did? Or rather what i did NOT do? (i did not know or realize in that moment.)
SMACK!
“What will you do?”
“i will do as you ask.”
SMACK – this one felt a bit harder, if that was even possible.
“What did you say?”
“i promise i will listen.”
S-M-A-C-K.
“Want to try again?”
And i practically yelled out, “i will do as i am told. … …. … … SIR”
There it was. The lightbulb went off. i failed to show him the respect he deserves and has reminded me over and over again. i failed to say SIR.
SMACK SMACK SMACK (yet even MORE intensity).
He then held the crop still against my bottom again and he spoke quite calmly saying, “I don’t know why using the word Sir is so difficult for you! I expect to hear it, and you know it. So NOW this spanking has to be even longer than it already was.”
And he continued to reign down swats with the riding crop onto my sore rear end for a bit longer.
Now i started to feel the same heat rising from my bottom, all the way to my face. (Sir has NEVER spanked me anywhere except my ass, so the heat was not from his hand or the riding crop. It was all within me.). i know this is the first thing that happens when tears are nearing the surface.
i was finally starting to relax into the spanking and to accept it. The anxiousness of feeling each swat was starting to fade. i heard my mind telling myself, “Just allow it to happen. Just relax into the knowledge… and pain from the crop… that Sir is in charge. He loves you enough to teach you a lesson. Allow the tears to form!”
He asked me several times to repeat the word “Sir,” as he continued to smack my ass. i did so. He told me i would do well to comment the word to memory.
It was just a bit more and David stopped. He told me we were done and he waited for me to rise up onto my knees and face him, he always does that. i think i he wants to ensure i am ok, but also for me to see his face and trust that this is now forgiven too.
It’s also where i look into his eyes and with a humble heart, i express my thanks to him. He has never required that i do so, but i do. i want to be sure to let him know i did indeed accept his discipline. i never want him to think he has forced this on me or that this may be somehow misconstrued into an abusive situation. It is not. i am always accepting and thankful for his leadership and guidance… and the discipline too.
That’s when he kissed my lips and expressed his love. Then he left the room and i took a few more minutes to collect myself and re-dress.
As i did so, i decided i needed to go to the store and buy the 409 as he had previously asked. Not only did indeed to have a sore bottom and a regretful disposition, but i needed to make it right by doing the actions requested of me too.
And i did just that. After coming out with my shoes on, i said to David “i will go to the store and buy the 409 you requested now.”
He smiled and then said, “Good idea…. Of course… it would’ve been a lot easier to have gotten it the first time you were there… would it?!”
“Yes SIR.” << i am going to be using that word a lot more now!
i never did cry during the spanking. Frequently i cry AFTERWARD when i stop and think about it all, as that’s when everything relaxes and the tears start to flow freely. i’m not entirely sure if David even knows that happens or not. It’s ok either way.
But as i drove to the store… listening to nothing but my own thoughts…. the tears slowly dripped down my cheeks. i wasn’t crying from the pain of the spanking, although the heat between my butt and the car seat was real (!), but rather the fact i wasn’t the submissive wife i wanted to be. i know all is forgiven now, but i was thinking about all that transpired and the remorse was real.
David was right. If I had just done as instructed, all of this could’ve been avoided.
i will learn from this and do better.
PS.. The chastity belt…
Oh… and in case you are wondering…. The Chastity Belt stayed on throughout. It wasn’t even a second thought for David or me in the midst of the spanking.
Afterward, i told him about my quandary of whether to take it off, or ask, or to just leave it on. His words were, “you made at least one good choice today. If I want it off, you will hear me tell you so.”
After i was home from the store and after dinner, i asked if I could take the belt off and take a soaking/warm bath. Sir said yes. And when it was done, i inquired if it needed to go back on. He said, “while you have been disciplined today and all is forgiven, you have NOT earned the right to play or be played with.”
He continued, “If you think you don’t have the willpower to abstain, then yes, put the belt back on. But I think you’ve learned your lesson today and don’t wish another immediate spanking on top of the first, ….. because if you disobey me and play with yourself anyway, I will spank you again. So the choice is yours….”
i chose to leave it off. But in the middle of the night, as i turned over in my groggy sleep, i felt the covers cross slightly over my clit bringing hyper awareness to my mind and turning me on. i wanted to rub my clit SO badly. i debated whether i should have put on the belt already or even getting up to do it at that moment, but decided to try to ignore it. It took awhile to go back to sleep, but i did abstain. (Phew!)
Now i am off to find some cotton pants to wear to work today…….
i did it. i made David mad today. i didn’t mean to. It just happened.
He was out of town for 24-hours .. yesterday left, home today. This morning he texted me good morning and i reciprocated. Then he asked me if i was excited about my “new toy” arriving today.
i got an email yesterday that FINALLY the new chastity belt was to be delivered today. i ordered it on July 10, and finally on December 15 it was to arrive. FIVE months in the making, Their website says “due to COVID supply chain issues, please allow 1-3 months for delivery.” And today was the day it FiNaLlY was scheduled to arrive.
Well. i was excited…..But not to have a “new toy” arrive. i felt like he was insulting me, or making fun of me, or something like that.
i suddenly thought, “this is all just a big game to him. And when he’s tired of playing it, he gets lax. And when he wants to play again, he goes 100% all in.”
And, in my own mind at least, it suddenly made sense to me that he doesn’t LIKE this dynamic and (probably) only does it to make me happy and satisfy my needs. While i should be happy he wants to please me and make me happy, at least some of the time, it makes me UNhappy to think he ONLY does it (“it” being Dominant) to make ME happy.
Suddenly i couldn’t decide if i was sad, hurt, mad, confused, or what! Maybe hurt is best. i couldn’t believe i have been so stupid for so long now and not known or realized he thinks this is all just one big game.
So.
i asked him. About how serious he is about our dynamic.
But.
Not quite that simple either. If it had been, i probably wouldn’t have made him mad.
What i wrote was…..
I guess it may be a “toy” but I think of it as more than that. I think of it as a better way of life and marriage. I think the same about the paddle, cane, and crop.And even my collars.
And i then also wrote…..
I think if you thought of them as your tool(s), instead of my toys(s), things would be that much better.
THAT was when he responded back.
“Fuck you.”
Ahh crap. This isn’t how i should have done this at all.
And i immediately apologized. But. The damage was done.
i genuinely didn’t mean to cause a fight. i thought by leading with “I think” it would be how I THINK. But he took it as, “you should think” which was me telling him what to think or what to do.
That’s when i said…
I genuinely did NOT Intend to make you mad. I was very shocked to see your response. I’m sorry.
If you don’t like being Dominant, or using my toys, then just tell me so. That’s understandable. I just get confused when sometimes you are and sometimes you aren’t, and I just don’t know.
I’m sorry.
To which he didn’t respond for several hours. And when he did, there was nothing about any of this. That moment, along with the anger and any other emotion, had passed. It was as if it never happened at all.
When i got home, i found the package on my bed. i had actually forgotten about the delivery until I saw it.
i opened it up and was excited to see if it fit. And i found the lock on it is really not the right size. It’s hard to explain, but it’s a bit too tight and NOT easy to get on/off.
i decided to try to figure it out while the CB is NOT on my body and therefore not quite as hard to sort out. But then it was time for dinner and our son just got home from college today too, so i let it be. T
hat was when David asked me, “do you have it on?” And i said no, of course.
When he asked me why, i said, “because i can’t figure out the lock,” which confused him. After i showed him how it was not fitting on the belt very well, he tried it himself and agreed it wasn’t working well.
We let it go and we all went out to eat. In addition, David/i drank a bottle of wine. We enjoyed seeing our son and eating/drinking good together as a family again.
When we got home, David became determined that he would figure out the lock. He did research and found that it is a slight bit incorrectly sized and David ordered a new one on Amazon that (hopefully) will be better.
Then after he finished that, he comes in to me and says, “Don’t tell me I’m not serious about this (dynamic and being dominant) when I come home after relaxing and enjoying good wine to then spend nearly an hour researching how to get the right lock!”
So it wasn’t 100% forgotten from this morning like i had assumed.
Now i also think i exaggerated the whole situation from the morning in my head. i got myself in a tizzy for no reason, and provoked my Sir for another no good reason. over my assumption that “my toy” was a game.
i think maintaining 100% consistency about anything in life is difficult and hard to sustain. Maybe a “break” is good (for anything ) sometimes. It’s what you do after the break that matters.
Like if you work out 7-days a week, you’ll eventually burn out. You need a break, as long as you get back out there and go to it again. Same thing with a diet. You can’t live on a diet, but you can give yourself a pass sometimes to eat the dessert (or the glass of wine) and enjoy it.
So maybe David needs a break sometimes. i may well need a break sometimes too actually.
And maybe he didn’t think of the new CB as “my toy” at all. Maybe he was just messing with me and texting that way to be fun and cut up. Who knows! What i do know is that he’s right… if he didn’t care or want to use “my toys” as “his tools” he wouldn’t have spent an hour figuring out the lock!
Maybe in his toolbox is a lot of physical “tools” but maybe some ones that are mental too. Maybe i need to get out of my own head already.
Won’t lie though,., i’m hoping (praying really!) that tomorrow…. a Friday… that we have maintenance. It could do a lot of good if David were to use the Tool (aka: paddle) on my bottom.
A family wedding in Nashville (that was outdoors in 30 degree weather. Oh my!),
Thanksgiving (which was lovely and low key),
My 51st birthday (i’m not ashamed or embarrassed about admittedly my age),
Trip to see our son in college (nice weekend with him),
My firm’s Christmas party (at our house with 22-people here, David cooked amazing food for it too. i didn’t make him, he wanted to. It was his gift to us and vice versa.)
All that in the course of 4 1/2 weeks.
All that on top of getting ready for Christmas with decorating, buying and wrapping presents, and of course…. Work.
It’s been unseasonably warm in our area. It’s normally 40’s lows to maybe 60’s highs. We’ve been having 60’s for lows and 80’s for highs.
While i love the hot weather, not everyone does. It’s sooooo much easier to be sexy in warm weather clothes than cold weather clothes.
Think about it… in the cold north, a conversation probably goes like this….
Him: I want to fuck you.
Her: oh yeah Sir?! I want that too.
Her again: just give me 10-minutes.
Him (annoyed): uhm. No. Don’t tell me I have to wait! NOW!
Her: well Sir, since it’s so cold out, I have 16-layers of clothes on and have to take them all off. That’s going to take awhile.
Lol. Yeah. So. NOT sexy.
So warm weather allows me to wear tank tops or a low-cut shirt, no bra, no panties… and be undressed in no time flat.
i can also sleep naked, or be in the house naked, much easier in warm weather.
Generally speaking, i feel way more more sexy in warm weather than in cold weather.
But i would say that David has been absent in spirit lately. With so many “life things” happening, he hasn’t had the least bit of focus on me, regardless of what i have on or do not… or whether the temp is cold or warm! (Yes, i am fully aware of how selfish that sounds!)
Now that’s not to say he’s not talked to me, done (vanilla) things with me, nor has he been entirely or literally gone.
He’s just not held me accountable or maintained our Domestic Discipline dynamic. At all.
i have been trying to NOT get anxious, upset, or angry about the (perceived) neglect. i know i am loved. i know i am not ignored, forgotten, or neglected. But it feels like it to me. And sometimes what we perceive becomes our truth.
i just wish he’d hold me accountable. i just wish he’d stay the course of our dynamic. i just wish he would bent me over his knee already.
i know i need to tell him. But HOW to tell him has been problematic.
If i……
Brat…
….. Which is where i become cranky, disobedient, disrespectful, and …. Challenging, that is unbecoming. It also, usually, just makes David annoyed and/or angry.
i don’t chose to be a brat quite as literally as it may seem. It’s somewhat like having a bad day. You don’t start out saying, “hey, I want to have a bad day today.” And yet, sometimes it just happens anyway.
And to take that even further, when a bad day does happen, sometimes you think, “I am NOT going to let this continue.” And yet it just does.
So being “bad” and throwing a temper tantrum isn’t the right answer, but admittedly, i have done a bit of this. Yet David has let it go and not held me accountable.
What exactly have i done? Well…. i decided he hasn’t paid ANY attention to my puss. He doesn’t seem to care if i touch it or not. i decided to NOT shave it until he pays attention to it.
On Saturday, he decided to lay me on the bed, spread my legs, and lick me to orgasm. (Yah, i know this is paying attention to me, which is exactly what i am complaining about. But. This is the one and only sexual type interaction we’ve had in nearly 6-weeks.).
He didn’t even comment about the hair. i dared him to. He didn’t. He should have. It was annoying that he didn’t.
Top from the Bottom…
…. i’d just tell him what to do, or maybe tell him “what you should do in this situation is….”
Turn me over and spank me, like the spoiled brat that i am acting like.
Or stand me in the corner until further notice.
Or (fill in the blank)…..
But i don’t want to tell him what to do. i want him to enforce the rules, do maintenance spankings, tell me to wear the Chastity Belt, or WHATEVER…. because he wants to do it and NOT just because i am telling him to do those things.
Try talking to him…
Yes, i know. THIS is the most logical. But i am already thinking he’s just going to hear my words as Topping because i think i hear it that way already too.
i can hear the conversation now….
Me: “you aren’t holding me accountable.”
Him: “ok. We’ve been busy.”
Me: “yes, but you should….”
Okay… right there…. i am Topping from the Bottom. Telling him what he’s NOT doing and how to DO something (anything) better
Send him a link of this post…
But that’s likely just another version of Topping from The Bottom.
SUMMARY…..
i am getting increasingly annoyed and unhappy…. Which is making me cranky. Which is probably going to lead to me being a Brat… even more. Just to get his attention.
See a pattern here? See the circular reference?
Ugh.
Suggestions?
Until then… no matter hot weather or not, i will wear what i want, when i want!
We are in KY for a get away vacation together. We will be here from today through Sunday. Just the two of us.
As i knew we’d see loads of people on this trip, but absolutely no one i would ever see again, i packed some clothes that i felt would create a “moderately sexy” look. Outfits that would be a bit on the risqué side for everyday wear, but nothing that would be cause for anything other than something “super nice to look at” too.
This pic is me today. Can you see my nips? They are showing, but covertly too. i don’t wear a bra or panties any too often, and today is no exception. Today i am wearing a one piece, snap up, onesie top with David’s favorite grey fitted jeans. And one of my favorite dainty collars too.
After i was dressed this morning, David eyed me too to bottom and his words were, “THAT is sexy!” Which is all the confirmation i needed to have the confidence to wear it.
The onesie has snaps on the front from my neck to my belly button. It can be as open, or closed, as desired. It also has snaps at the crotch to hold it in place there, as well as provide for easy access, if desired. Boy do i wish i had my CB on today. After going to the bathroom, i have both of my hands in my crotch to get the snaps reattached, causing me to touch myself. And causing arousal. And making me wish i could just lock her up and not be touched! But not an option.
i wasn’t entirely sure how many snaps on the front to close… or to leave open…. so i asked Sir. His response was “Two open. For now.”
i don’t know if confidence is a quality someone is just born with, but i am certainly one who has had to grow into it. i am growing in my confidence to wear “sexy” clothes. In the past, and especially prior to D/s, i would say i have ALWAYS erred on the side of way-too-conservative. i am SO trying to change that now. i would think that if you could see the crack between my boobs, my shirt was wayyyyy tooooooo low! And if my skirt was above my knees (by more than 1-2 inches), it was way too short. In my opinion of course.
David would have much preferred to see that boob crack and more even, and he doesn’t mind having me (somewhat) on display for others to see too. Not that he has ever wanted me to be too much on display, but if others were to see me and take notice, he would take pride and so should i. He would tell me that if i have something to show (and i do!) then “let people see, stare, and wish they were me (or either of us!)”
If a man looks, he’s probably a little jealous and maybe thinking, “damn. My wife doesn’t wear those clothes.” Or maybe he’s thinking, “wonder what I’d have to do to get her to open up more of those snaps!!?!”
And if a woman were to see me, she’d probably think one of two things: 1) “You go girl! Flaunt it!” OR 2) “she’s a slut with it hanging out like that.”
Any of those responses are a-ok by David and he takes pride in the fact that i wore it, someone noticed, and (most likely) they are jealous they can’t, won’t, or don’t wear it too.
That was before i had confidence to buy sexy, low-cut clothes, let alone wear them. i don’t wear them all the time, but i wear them now more than i ever used to which was never!
This summer i bought a 2-piece bikini. Something i have not worn since i was about 6 hrs old! But David loves it and has asked me to wear it in the past several times and until this year, i never had the courage to do so.
i am definitely growing in confidence. i don’t know why i ever worried about it though. i mean truly, who cares what someone may or may not think of you? What is the worst that can happen? They think lowly of you and don’t want to be your friend. Ok…. So… what?! The only “friend” i really need is David! i’m not saying i have no other friends, but David is really the one that matters the most. And the others can come or go in the end!
Today. i am completely and fully aware of how much “more” i am showing. i am busy looking around to see if people are seeing me, and if so, trying to read their face to know what they are thinking. All the while, telling myself, “what they think does not matter! Puff out your chest and show your cleavage off with pride! The same pride David has in knowing you belong to him!” (Keeping in mind i only have two snaps undone in the first place, so not a LOT showing anyway!)
i don’t know if other people have confidence to wear anything anytime, or if this is a learned trait, or maybe some of both. What i know is that as David’s submissive, i have learned to take pride in dressing in a way that is sexy and appealing to him…. Even if it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. And that discomfort is ok.
It takes courage to do something that you might not do otherwise. But when you do it (over and over again), it becomes more and more easy to do, as it becomes more and more of a normal activity… which causes it to be less and less uncomfortable too.
As of today… for me…. i can now wear a two piece bikini without thinking twice, but a low-cut onesie top today is still uncomfortable. But i did it anyway, and have held my head high and my shoulders back! Learning to do things with confidence that pleases David is learning to be a good submissive!
I COULD END THIS HERE.
BUT…. I HAVE SOME MORE THOUGHTS……
While i suspect this will NOT happen, causing this next part to be purely fictional, this is some of the things that have swirled around in my head this morning.
As FYI….Usually my fictional stories start with something that’s happened in real life, and my mind then extrapolates to a possible/ alternative ending. And that’s my inspiration for when i write up a “fiction story.” But in all honestly, the first part of most of my fiction started with some nonfiction too!
So this next part is mostly pure fiction but based on my outfit today and started when David said to have two snaps undone, “for now.” i say “mostly” fiction because the activities we DID do today, but the conversation was not.
But his words got me thinking about the question, “when will the directive come to undo three snaps… or four…. And how will i respond or what will i think….”
So here’s what i thought about…. And again, is (mostly) pure fiction from here on…….
An hour into our day David asked me, “how many snaps are on that top anyway?”
He asked that because the very bottom snap that was visible was just above the waistband of my jeans. It gave a look that implied the snaps may continue all the way down and into my pants. They did not. And I told him that what he could see was all there were.
I could tell his mind was swirling this information around, to which I wondered what he was thinking so I asked, “Could you think out loud Sir?”
That’s when he said, “We have several activities planned today, lasting about 8 or 9 hours in total. By the end of the day, I think it would be lovely to have all 6-snaps coming open and undone.”
He continued on, “Set your alarm for 90-minutes. Every time it goes off, you’ll unsnap another one and reset the alarm.”
“By the end of the day, I should be able to see them all open and undone. I suspect I’ll enjoy the day a lot more now than I would’ve otherwise,” was his final words, which he said with a huge grin on his face too.
I asked, “But Sir, if I do that, I am sure anyone will be able to see my big boobs hanging out.”
He was still smiling and said, “okay. Yea. So what’s the problem?”
I know my Sir well enough to know that he would never do anything to get me arrested or cause harm to either of us, but that a directive is a directive. And frequently he’s told me these types of things just to see if I will trust him or not. So I just said, “Yes Sir,” and set the alarm on my phone for 90-minutes.
With that, we got in the car to head to breakfast. I wondered if the waitress, looking down at me as I sat in the booth seeing the top-down angle and into my shirt, was thinking it was too early in the morning to be seeing all that! I tried not to think about that and instead focus on my Sir’s happiness. That made me sit tall and smile big.
Soon enough, we were done with breakfast and back in the car. Usually Sir droves, but he had told me to drive so he could consult the agenda and program the locations into Google. We were in the car, getting onto the interstate, when my phone alarm sounded. The first 90-minutes had expired. I jumped at the sound and my heart started to race as I realized what it meant.
I looked over at my Sir and he smiled. He grabbed up my phone and said, “I’ll reset the timer while you reach down and open a snap. That’s the 3rd of 6, since the first 2 were already open, correct?”
I shyly responded, “Yes Sir.”
To which Sir said, “Say it with confidence my love! This is good! And this is going to make this day amazing too.”
And I unsnapped the 3rd snap, returned my hand to the wheel and said with confidence, “Yes Sir.”
We were on our way to the well known Bourbon Distillery in KY, for a tour and tasting event. We had about a 30-minute drove there and as I drove, I stole glances down at my chest. From my angle, it looked like I was nearly hanging out of my top. I’ll made sure to be keenly aware of the sides of my top to ensure I didn’t inadvertently hang out and get myself in trouble at the distillery.
We arrived just in time to get into the tour that we had previously booked. As we started out, our tour guide said we would all enjoy the next hour together learning all about how bourbon is made and ending with a tasting.
David leaned into my ear and said, “we will be ending just in time to open up another snap!”
I learned a lot about bourbon along the tour, and now we were tasting the different ones that are made on site. I don’t much care for bourbon, but David does, so I’m enjoying the experience and time with him.
And the alarm went off.
He leaned in and said, “snap #4.” Yes, I know Sir. I’m getting increasingly stressed about how much cleavage I’m showing off, but…. okay, I’ll obeyas the good submissive wife I am!
Since my phone was in my purse on the floor, I leaned down and grabbed it, reset the timer, and as I moved back to the upright position, I unsnapped #4. As I was back fully upright, David leaned in once again and said, “That’s my good girl! I’m loving the view and your obedience!”
I glanced down and was incredibly nervous about how much anyone can see now. Of course, my nipples aren’t showing but I’ll have to be careful to ensure they don’t just pop right out of my top too. I SO wish I wasn’t in this position, but maybe more so, I SO wish I just hadn’t put on this onesie in the first place. I wouldn’t be wrestling now with showing off my nips if I hadn’t wanted to show off for my Sir. But I suppose there’s something to be said that I’m making him so happy too!
Soon enough the tasting was over. Thank God we can get in the car and just be the two of us again too!
In the car, Sir said, “Time for lunch now.” And we went to a local pizza place. Great. Family atmosphere with a slutty wife on display! Can’t wait! Sarcasm at its finest. I am fighting everything in me to just re-snap all these snaps back closed, it I keep telling myself, “no one knows me or will ever see me again! Keep your Sir happy!”
And as we were back in the car, the alarm went off again. I heard Sir say, “and just like that…. #5!” He is SO proud of himself and SO testing my courage.
I spoke up, “Sir, I am really not comfortable anymore. I feel half dressed at this point. Please Sir, don’t make me undo anymore snaps. It’s still daylight even!”
I heard my Sir say, “oh now… my love… don’t disappoint me now. This is fun! Do as I ask and all will be good. I don’t want to have to spank you for disobeying now!”
And I opened snap #5. As I did, I looked over at Sir. He smiled and grabbed my hand. He squeezed with a seal of approval and he said, “that’s my girl. I knew you could do it!”
Thank GOD we were in the car and I could relax without the worry of showing my nips to someone. I wasn’t sure where he had me driving us to now, but I prayed it wasn’t anywhere too public too. I just followed the google map directions and didn’t ask anymore questions.
Sir must’ve realized my apprehension was at at all time high, but rather than give in to me, he decided to amp it up yet another notch. He released my hand and slid his hand under my top. He squeezed my nipple hard and tweaked it hard. I flinched. He felt it and asked, as a rhetorical question, “hurt?!”
“Yes Sir.”
Sir continued to massage my breasts in full and didn’t stop for quite awhile. As I tried to stay focused on driving, it was extra hard to drive as he played with my tits. It wasn’t much longer and I realized where we were headed. Back to the hotel. I felt relief flood over me. We pulled in and parked.
After getting to our room, Sir said, “take it all off now. I’ve managed to get myself rock hard watching you today and need to get relief now. I’m going to fuck you hard until we both orgasm.”
He continued, “Get on the bed on your stomach and spread your legs wide for me. I’m going to fuck you doggy style so I can ram you hard and fast. I want to orgasm quick as my dick is super achy sore after watching you show off your tits all morning. You’ve been such a good girl and now I’m going to reward us both!”
And he did as he said. He fucked me fast and furious until we both orgasmed long and hard. It was amazing and I loved being rode so hard too.
When he was done, he said, “Now get redressed. Time to go again. We have another tour and tasting. Then tonight we will be at the best steakhouse in town.”
“Thank you Sir for using your pussy and allowing me to orgasm.” I made sure to tell him. Sudden,y all my stress for showing off seemed so worth it. I’ll never see those people again, but my Sir is in love with me!
“You’re welcome. You know what? I want to repeat the 90-minutes routine, but let’s start over at just 2-unsnapped. I bet by dinner, you’ll be showing off everything again! Can’t wait to see what the dinner crowd thinks! And maybe I’ll fuck you again tonight too if you are a good girl once again!”
