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Tag: submission

295 – Chastity Belt – SOP

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. 7 Comments on 295 – Chastity Belt – SOP

As i was thinking it may happen, it’s now official! i have a clear directive – or Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) – has now been decided and communicated to me.

i am to “assume there is a standing order to wear the belt, unless told otherwise with a specifically communicated reason to not wear it.”

i have now had the Fancy Steel, permanent and more durable and more fitted, Chastity Belt for one week now. i have been in-belt more than out-of-belt during the last week too.

Thinking about the times i have been out-of-belt the most over this last week, it has been overnight. i have only slept in the belt one night so far.

Yesterday evening, i asked permission to be out-of-belt as David had heated up our pool and i wanted to go swimming. While i ended up NOT swimming (not a relevant point), i was given permission to be out-of-belt. So it was off from (about) 7p last night and is still off now at 5:30p. It is now (about) 22’ish consecutive hours out-of-belt. While i haven’t officially calculated it out, it’s probably the longest consecutive amount of time out-of-belt in the last 7-days.

But the belt will go back on as soon as i home from work, which is to happen in the next hour.

The directive for the now SOP came late this morning when i had been at work for just a bit.

i was struggling with what to do (wear or not wear the belt, ask or not ask if i should, etc!), so i started a text dialogue with David, as follows:

So as i was preparing for work, i decided to take some leftovers from last night’s dinner for my lunch today. i was getting out the plastic/ storage dishes and scooping food into the smaller ones to take “just some” of it to work, when David came into the kitchen and inquired about what i was doing.

When i told him, he said, “Just take the whole (full) container” and i said (with a little sharper tone and demeanor than i had intended), “No. i don’t need all this. And i don’t want to stand at the microwave (at work for lunch) heating this entire dish of food, when i want just a small portion.”

Well. Sir said, “it doesn’t look like the new container that you are using is much smaller than the one that has the original food. Just take it all.”

“Yes, i know. We just don’t own many small single-serve storage containers. But i don’t need to take all this with me so this is easier.” (Again, too much “tone” went with this statement!)

That was when David’s eyebrows raised up and he asked in a stern voice, “why are you talking to me in this tone?! And why are you not just doing as I told you to?”

i was a bit snappy for sure. My response was, “i just don’t need the entire container at work is all.”

That’s when he didn’t appreciate me NOT recognizing or apologizing for the tone i used and said, “bend over the counter!”

And so he gave me a small (clothing on) spanking with his hand, that i definitely felt, and that we were both aware was to make a point more than anything. It was a reminder. Of what could come if i continue on.

He then said, “if you want to keep this up, the next spanking will be worse.”

“Yes Sir. i’m sorry Sir.” And then i was off to work (with my smaller containers of portion-appropriate food in hand).

Soooo when he asked me the question above about whether the belt was on or off when i was arguing this morning, that was what it was in reference to.

And this was the next part of our texting conversation:

i admitted to him (and you too), i was snarky.

Sir didn’t have to say it. i knew. He thinks that i am more submissive when i am in-belt than when i am out-of-belt. i’m not sure if that’s true or not, but it may well be. i just don’t know. But i think we are nearing the point where we will be finding out soon!

And then i waited to hear more. We went radio-silent for a bit. i knew he needed time to think and i couldn’t demand an immediate answer. That’s understandable.

But that understanding didn’t seem to last too long. About an hour later, this was the next part:

So. Now i know. The SOP is to “assume the belt goes on. Until or unless it is explicitly said otherwise.”

AND i got a positive confirmation that he still intends to use and play with me. So there’s that!

The very last of our conversation went like this:

So i said thanks, and acknowledged/ admitted i will willingly submit.

If i’m being honest, i’m not certain how i feel about this.

This is no longer a fantasy, or a “scene,” but instead it now a way of life. While i expected it, and we’ve been moving ever closer to this really, knowing it and living it aren’t entirely the same. The very true and full reality that my control is completely taken away is about to hit me hard.

i think i will like it, but i am a bit nervous too. i will keep you posted!

What i know without a doubt is that now the “Belt Rules” are all feeling super real!

Lastly – if you are curious about the “get it fixed” part…. Well…. that will be expanded on as part of my “full belt review” still to come.

Hugs,

Marie

294 – Punished. Once, Twice, basically Three times.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. 5 Comments on 294 – Punished. Once, Twice, basically Three times.

i received a pretty large discipline spanking yesterday. As with ALL my discipline, it is consensual. And i accept it with as much grace as i can muster in the moment.

That said…. It takes some kind of rare talent for what i managed to do.

While being spanked, i managed to get myself into trouble again. And if you want to be technical about it, the spanking in progress at the time was for a double error, making this one be the third! Three issues in one day!

So David kept right on spanking to fix all these errors at the same time. He used his new favorite tool… the riding crop. And from the first swat to the last, they were delivered with intention and strength that resulted in my attitude radically changing rather rapidly and swiftly too!

Who does that?! How does that even happen?!

HOW exactly does a submissive wife get herself in trouble a second time while in the midst of being spanked for the first bit of trouble she already brought on herself?!

Yah, well, like i said… i managed to do all this with some sort of special ability that i didn’t even realize i had! Just call me a regular super hero!

i didn’t do ANY of this on purpose. In fact, it was quite the opposite actually. After receiving the maintenance on Friday, i was none-to-eager to have a repeat or better performance from David with my butt as the target!

But. As i sit here writing, my rear end is still red and quite sore. i expect it to bruise by tomorrow and hurt for several days. i won’t lie though, i love David even more for having administered this discipline spanking with the swift action and exactness it called for. i need his leadership and with it sometimes the discipline too. Today, i got both!

What exactly even happened?

Earlier today, our son and i set out of the house doing errands and other related activities. At one point, David texted me and asked if i was near Sam’s wholesale club. “Yes Sir.

Then he texted, “Then can you stop and get paper towels, dog treats, and 409 cleaning liquid?” And despite the wording as a question, it really wasn’t a question at all. So my response was the same…. “Yes Sir.”

And we did. Only, as i walked around the store, i thought about the 409 and said to our son, “We don’t need to get that. When Dad & i were cleaning out the garage a few weeks ago, i saw we have about 2-3 large bottles of it.” So i didn’t get the 409.

THAT WAS MISTAKE #1. Do you know exactly what it was? i didn’t. But i was absolutely informed about it while being spanked!

Upon arriving home, i told David straight away that i did not purchase the 409. He said, “we do NOT have any. What we have 2-3 bottles of is Windex window cleaner.”

To which my heart sank.

i realized he was right.

It wasn’t 409 cleaning solution, but rather Windex window solution that we discovered how much we truly had when cleaning up the garage.

And THAT WAS MISTAKE #2. To which i was also told more about as i was being spanked too.

David was angry. He said, “I needed the 409 to clean my grill thoroughly. I told you I needed it and you said you’d buy it.”

“i am sorry Sir.”

“I think you know what you need to do now, don’t you?”

“Yes Sir. i’ll go Assume The Position now.”

As i (fully) undressed in our bedroom, it occurred to me that i was not *truly* naked as i was still in my chastity belt. i debated whether to take it off to be compliant with my directive to be naked when i am spanked. But then, i didn’t have permission to take it off either. Then i debated going back out to the living room to ask, so i would have a clear directive. i ultimately decided to leave it on, in its place, and climb on the bed to be in position before David came in. THAT CHOICE WAS NOT A MISTAKE….. THANK GOD I MADE ONE GOOD DECISION TODAY!

When Sir came in, i was laying in position…. Face down, pillow under my hips to offer up my ass to Sir and to make the spanking easier for him, with the choice of implements (crop, cane, paddle) all at the base of the bed at the ready.

He picked one up, and laid it gently on my rear. i could tell from the way he placed it there, he was being intentional about it. He wanted me to know and think about what exactly was about to happen.

And i could also tell from the way it felt that it was the riding crop. Then he started to speak to me. He said, “I have no idea why you didn’t buy the 409, as I told you to. Care to tell me why?”

“Because i was certain we had it already.”

And the riding crop was pulled back from my bottom, giving me another 2-seconds notice of what i was about to feel. i heard the crop whip through the air and the crack it made as it collided with my ass.

i was immediately brought into the here-and-now, where i was abundantly aware of how much the crop bites into my rear end. From that very first swat, all the way to the last, it HURT… a LOT!

That’s when Sir laid it back on my bottom and spoke again, “wouldn’t it have been better to ask me before taking it upon yourself to just not do as I asked of you?”

“Well…. yes Sir, i probably should have.”

And the crop came away and SMACKED right down again. This second swat landing in the exact same spot as the first, causing it to hurt that much more!

“But you didn’t.”

Smack a third time in the exact same spot again.

“Would it have been so difficult for you to have just bought it anyway? What ‘if’ we did have some at home already, what would be the big deal to have had more? What would have been the trouble to have more?”

“No trouble at all Sir.”

“And yet. You didn’t do as you were told. Instead, you decided to not do as you were told. Since when are YOU in charge and allowed to disobey me so blatantly and obviously like that? It was a rather simple request, to which you said yes to. Correct”

MISTAKE #1 was simply failing to submit. All i had to do was follow the directive. Regardless of what i thought of it or what we had at home already, it wasn’t my place to “just decide” to NOT follow his orders.

MISTAKE #2 was the fact we actually didn’t have any. And i was dead wrong about not needing to buy the 409.

He was right to ask for me to buy it, i was already at the store, even “if” we had some at home it’s not expensive and wouldn’t have mattered to have more. i should’ve just done as told, or asked for more clarity, but Just deciding to do as i pleased was NOT the right answer at all.

Sir said, “because you chose to deny my orders intentionally, you earned yourself a spanking regardless if we had it or not. You were not acting in a submissive way at all. You thought you knew better. But the fact that we didn’t have any at home has caused this spanking to be worse than it had to be because you were wrong in your decision to not buy it.”

His riding crop continued to rain down swats to my ass as i contemplated all that he said. Every time i felt it pull away from my bottom i cringed and held my breath waiting for it to find its next resting place. Some of the time it was in the exact same location and sometimes it moved, to a new one. Some of the time the swats landed swiftly and succinctly and sometimes he paused and drew it out. But every-single-one was delivered with intention to make its point…. And that it did indeed!

Smack. After Smack. After Smack.

i felt the anxiousness and anticipation of each swat about to land cause my body to start to sweat. That happens nearly every time. i think that’s part of why i don’t cry really. Because my mind and body is in a different place, trying to get through each moment of the here-and-now, rather than allowing myself to relax and just let out the emotions.

THIS IS WHERE I PILED IT ON…

THIS is where i managed to get into even more trouble in the midst of being corrected for the previous trouble!

“What will you do next time?” Sir asked me.

i spewed out words as fast as i could and said, “i will listen.”

MISTAKE #3… causing me to have an even longer and more prolonged spanking. Do you know what i did? Or rather what i did NOT do? (i did not know or realize in that moment.)

SMACK!

“What will you do?”

“i will do as you ask.”

SMACK – this one felt a bit harder, if that was even possible.

“What did you say?”

“i promise i will listen.”

S-M-A-C-K.

“Want to try again?”

And i practically yelled out, “i will do as i am told. … …. … … SIR”

There it was. The lightbulb went off. i failed to show him the respect he deserves and has reminded me over and over again. i failed to say SIR.

SMACK SMACK SMACK (yet even MORE intensity).

He then held the crop still against my bottom again and he spoke quite calmly saying, “I don’t know why using the word Sir is so difficult for you! I expect to hear it, and you know it. So NOW this spanking has to be even longer than it already was.”

And he continued to reign down swats with the riding crop onto my sore rear end for a bit longer.

Now i started to feel the same heat rising from my bottom, all the way to my face. (Sir has NEVER spanked me anywhere except my ass, so the heat was not from his hand or the riding crop. It was all within me.). i know this is the first thing that happens when tears are nearing the surface.

i was finally starting to relax into the spanking and to accept it. The anxiousness of feeling each swat was starting to fade. i heard my mind telling myself, “Just allow it to happen. Just relax into the knowledge… and pain from the crop… that Sir is in charge. He loves you enough to teach you a lesson. Allow the tears to form!”

He asked me several times to repeat the word “Sir,” as he continued to smack my ass. i did so. He told me i would do well to comment the word to memory.

It was just a bit more and David stopped. He told me we were done and he waited for me to rise up onto my knees and face him, he always does that. i think i he wants to ensure i am ok, but also for me to see his face and trust that this is now forgiven too.

It’s also where i look into his eyes and with a humble heart, i express my thanks to him. He has never required that i do so, but i do. i want to be sure to let him know i did indeed accept his discipline. i never want him to think he has forced this on me or that this may be somehow misconstrued into an abusive situation. It is not. i am always accepting and thankful for his leadership and guidance… and the discipline too.

That’s when he kissed my lips and expressed his love. Then he left the room and i took a few more minutes to collect myself and re-dress.

As i did so, i decided i needed to go to the store and buy the 409 as he had previously asked. Not only did indeed to have a sore bottom and a regretful disposition, but i needed to make it right by doing the actions requested of me too.

And i did just that. After coming out with my shoes on, i said to David “i will go to the store and buy the 409 you requested now.”

He smiled and then said, “Good idea…. Of course… it would’ve been a lot easier to have gotten it the first time you were there… would it?!”

“Yes SIR.” << i am going to be using that word a lot more now!

i never did cry during the spanking. Frequently i cry AFTERWARD when i stop and think about it all, as that’s when everything relaxes and the tears start to flow freely. i’m not entirely sure if David even knows that happens or not. It’s ok either way.

But as i drove to the store… listening to nothing but my own thoughts…. the tears slowly dripped down my cheeks. i wasn’t crying from the pain of the spanking, although the heat between my butt and the car seat was real (!), but rather the fact i wasn’t the submissive wife i wanted to be. i know all is forgiven now, but i was thinking about all that transpired and the remorse was real.

David was right. If I had just done as instructed, all of this could’ve been avoided.

i will learn from this and do better.

PS.. The chastity belt…

Oh… and in case you are wondering…. The Chastity Belt stayed on throughout. It wasn’t even a second thought for David or me in the midst of the spanking.

Afterward, i told him about my quandary of whether to take it off, or ask, or to just leave it on. His words were, “you made at least one good choice today. If I want it off, you will hear me tell you so.”

After i was home from the store and after dinner, i asked if I could take the belt off and take a soaking/warm bath. Sir said yes. And when it was done, i inquired if it needed to go back on. He said, “while you have been disciplined today and all is forgiven, you have NOT earned the right to play or be played with.”

He continued, “If you think you don’t have the willpower to abstain, then yes, put the belt back on. But I think you’ve learned your lesson today and don’t wish another immediate spanking on top of the first, ….. because if you disobey me and play with yourself anyway, I will spank you again. So the choice is yours….”

i chose to leave it off. But in the middle of the night, as i turned over in my groggy sleep, i felt the covers cross slightly over my clit bringing hyper awareness to my mind and turning me on. i wanted to rub my clit SO badly. i debated whether i should have put on the belt already or even getting up to do it at that moment, but decided to try to ignore it. It took awhile to go back to sleep, but i did abstain. (Phew!)

Now i am off to find some cotton pants to wear to work today…….

Hugs,

Marie

293 – Submission and Belt Rules

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. 4 Comments on 293 – Submission and Belt Rules

We are not ones who are super big on D/s contracts, writing down the rules, or otherwise posting them. That said, i do have rules and we do have process/procedures. We just didn’t ever take time to sit and write it all down to make it official/formal.

Recently i was surfing the internet and came across a site (www.BeltedGirls.com) where i found a set of rules that a belted girl, along with her husband, documented for her “Submission & Belt Rules.”

i rather love her rules and it seems to say everything that i would, if i were to put into writing my “rules.”

Here are the Submission and Belt Rules:

i rather liked these rules so much that i showed it to David. Sir’s response was, “Sounds about spot on.”

We didn’t talk much more about it really, but i think when i adjust to the new permanent/ more durable belt, these rules will become our rules too.

1. The belt can come off when exercising.
2. Husband will hold the key.
3. Husband controls when I’m going to orgasm
4. Husband controls when the belt comes off and I will not expect penetration just because its off
5. The belt will keep me from masturbating when he is away or I am away from him.
6. To receive pleasure (his cock) then I must earn it.
7. I will be ready to please him whenever, however and as often as he desires, with or without the belt on.
8. I will not beg him to remove the belt but will learn that it is a privilege to have it off.
9. I will not reach orgasm unless I have explicit permission from my husband.
10. I must tell my husband if I have an orgasm without his permission. This is disrespectful to him. Always.
11. I will never fondle myself or use toys in any manner unless he tells me to or gives explicit approval to do so.
12. My husband’s job is to make sure that I am shaven to his liking. If not, then he will be allowed to shave me, if he wishes to do so, and discipline me accordingly.
13. Each week I will receive maintenance spankings out of love as a reminder that he is in control, which may or may not occur with the belt on.
14. Breaking any of these rules results in punishment.

There are a few alterations that i/we would make to a few of these rules, as follows:

#4 – While the essence of this is absolutely spot on, i’d maybe make the first part more emphasized. Husband is ALWAYS in control of when the belt is on or off.

#5 – i’d rephrase this to simply say, “The belt will keep me from masturbating.” Period. The end. Delete the entire last part of that because whether it is on, with or without him present, it will keep me from masturbating. Always. (And it definitely does that!)

#6 – i would make a slight addition to have this read “To receive pleasure (his cock) and be allowed to orgasm i must earn it.”

Those are all slight adjustments and, even without those changes, the essence is still spot on!

But the one rule that hit me and sunk in the most was #8….

8. I will not beg him to remove the belt but will learn that it is a privilege to have it off.

With just my experiences of continuous wear to date, this has already become one of the hardest for me to adhere to. So it stands to reason, that with continuous/ long term wear with the permanent (more durable) belt, i will likely always struggle with this one rule over all the others!

i have told David i intend to expand the “will not beg” part to read more like, “i will not beg for the Belt to be removed unless i can prove or show why it is completely necessary.” That may be what the original author intended as well, but it wasn’t entirely clear.

The beg part is truly what i have already failed miserably at. When i have the CB off, i find i yearn to have it on and vice versa too! And when it’s on, i talk about it ALL the time… asking David “ready to give me the key??” ….To allow me to take it off. Honestly it gets to the point of annoying for us both! i admit that it even annoys me, even though i can’t seem to resist (and my will power fails).

So i have now told David that i think i need to change that behavior. When it goes on, it stays on until David decides to have it taken off. Period. The end.

He knows it’s on when it’s on. In fact, he ordered it on! He won’t forget.

And even “if” he were to forget, when we are apart, when we are back again together he will know as he will see it. When we sleep, i am always naked except when the belt is on. And he will see it. And even “if” he were to forget, …. Well… i know he won’t. So that “if” by some strange happenstance, odd, and truly not likely situation, he has forgotten – he will instantly be reminded.

That means there is NO reason to talk about it, remind him, or beg for it to otherwise be taken off.

That brings us to that last part about how i will not beg for it to come off…. “unless i can prove or show why it is completely necessary.” means is that the belt has to come off for a particular and unavoidable, probably an emergency, situation.

Maybe one example of it being “completely necessary,” example, would be a belt malfunction. Maybe a screw comes lose and needs to be retightened. Or maybe a screw comes out altogether and without reattaching it, the Belt could fall apart and/or fall off.

Another possibility might be if it is ill-fitting. Maybe the belt pinches, binds, or otherwise causes an injured spot to appear on my skin. This is a real possibility but once i get the settings correct for band width or length, and the tightness adjustments made, this is not too likely. Yet it is possible for sure.

Another example would be if/when i go through a security screening machine. One looking for metal. Obviously the machine is looking to find guns and knives or other similar weapons, and clearly NOT looking to find a chastity belt (!!). Can you imagine what an awkward situation that would be?! Of course, this isn’t likely to happen as an “emergency situation” though either. We will likely always know ahead of time and plan accordingly.

So honestly, there aren’t many reasons to have to cause me to EVER have to beg for it off.

So WHY then do i sometimes do just that… beg for it to be off?!

Good question!

After the new belt arrived (and we figured out the lock did fit albeit a bit differently than we expected… another post!) the belt went on.

It went on about 5’ish pm on Friday evening, and it is now Sunday morning. It has been about 36-hours now, with no clear or obvious-to-me end in sight.

And while it does not hurt, pinch, or have any other belt malfunction reason for me to have a legit reason to BEG TO HAVE IT OFF, i already (sort of) did just that.

Are you asking, “how do you sort of beg?” Yah, so, i knew i wasn’t supposed to beg. But i wanted to ask for it off too.

i knew he’d ask, “why?” As in “for what legit reason are you asking?”. i also knew i didn’t have a reason. In fact, when i asked myself that question, the only real answer i could think of was because i am not used to wearing it as of late …..AND…. because i wanted to.

i wanted to ask to have it off because i didn’t like the “game” anymore. i wanted to take back the control of my own sex and my own body. Saying it another way, i wanted to be selfish and NOT be submissive at least in this small way.

So i was hanging around David yesterday morning (after 12-hours of wear) a bit longer than usual, trying to think up a good way to ask (but not beg), when he noticed. He even told ME, “you want the belt off, don’t you?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Why?” < – see, i told you!

i told him all of what i told you above. It didn’t fly. He said, “uh, yeah. So the answer is no. You don’t need to have that control. You just want it. And I’m saying no.”

Then again after lunch (18-hours of wear), David asked me, “how you doing?” Since our son is home for the Christmas break, i assumed David was speaking in code. i responded with, “Yes. Overall. But i wouldn’t mind if it came off.”

He said, “I said no. I meant no. I only asked since it’s a new belt and wanted to be sure you were ok.”

Well….. so… the keys to the lock are sitting on the bathroom counter, and i said, “i could just use the keys, you know.”

And his immediate response was, “And I could just use the crop too… You Know!”

i paused a second and said, “and then i suppose the belt will just go right back on too.”

While he didn’t even much respond to that comment (as i believe he took it to be rhetorical in nature), he did say, “We’ve spent enough money on this, and waited long enough for its delivery, that you should know….you WILL be wearing it! Get used to it!”

The way he said it, i wondered if he had an exact plan. So i inquired. His words came back to me with, “No, I don’t have a full plan. But it will come together soon. What I know for sure is this is going to end up being your new normal.”

Sucking cock while in belt

THEN after dinner (24-hours of continuous wear), i was sitting on the couch watching tv with him. i grabbed up his arm and wrapped it around my shoulders, like you would a nice warm blanket, just to be wrapped up in “him.”

He didn’t just let his arm rest on my shoulder though. He then pressed downward, causing my face to be guided to his crotch. His pants were still on and he laughed saying, “oops. How did that happen?”

i looked up at him and smiled. And pulled his zipper down and started sucking his cock hard. After some time of that, he pulled me back and asked, “how was that? Want out of your belt now?!”

i said, “Yes Sir, i do. i want to have the belt off, be allowed to sit down on and ride your hard cock… to be able to take advantage of what i just created.”

He slapped a butt cheek and said, “No. Not tonight. But this was good, thank you!” As he zipped his pants back, he laughed more. Then added, “now let’s watch the rest of our tv show together.” i felt my puss dripping juices into the dome shield that covered her.

New normal

i suspect i will now find my life to be more time IN belt than OUT. And that’s probably a good thing, but will require a fundamental mindset change that i will have to adjust to too.

Why will it be a good thing?

Because it forces me to submit in a very tangible and physical way. Sometimes i need to be reminded and reinforced who i submit to and why.

Like in the spirit of Rule #9 & #10 above, when i masturbate and/or orgasm without David present (or at his directive), it is disrespectful and selfish too.

When i do these things, i also become less agreeable to wanting to engage in sexual activities with him. i usually then have an “i already did that” attitude and a “i’m not interested now,” way too. None of which is how a married woman should act with her husband. Ever!

So being reminded to NOT be selfish, to NOT do sexual things by myself or to myself (without him present and telling me it is allowed), and to be under David’s authority is a better way of life.

i just have to change my mindset about wearing the belt. i have to learn to love the belt ON. And i know i truly will!

So. The belt is currently still on.

And i don’t know when it’s coming off. But i will work to NOT BEG at all. And to accept that THIS is good for me, and that i NEED to NOT be in control, and acknowledge in all ways i WANT David in control.

And i will PRAY he wants to finger, lick, fuck, or all of the above (!) at least one of my holes soon!

(i will do a full review of the new belt soon. Still creating thoughts and forming opinions about it.)

Hugs,

Marie

292 – i was bad, and now we are good

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 292 – i was bad, and now we are good

Today is Friday. i haven’t had a maintenance spanking in a longgggg time. It was middle of September the last time i was spanked for maintenance purposes.

While it’s been awhile since i wrote about the Types of Spankings, when i re-read it tonight, i would say it’s all still true.

Maintenance Spankings work. They hurt. They are intended to. They are preemptive in curbing bad attitudes/activities before they get so bad it has to be punishment. They are also reminders of what could be worse if i keep on doing bad things. (i also think maintenance does David good too. He wields his hand and exerts his authority. He’s reminded how to be Dominate every time too.)

Today’s maintenance was needed. Much needed. Probably a good two weeks or more overdue!

i was reluctant to tell David (or even suggest) that he needed to spank me. Because i try hard to NOT tell him how or when to do his job. i know i have tendencies to Top From The Bottom. i have tried VERY hard to stop.

But it puts me in a quandary of not being able to get what i need without asking too. Of course, the key word in that last sentence is ASKING, as compared to TELLING. If i ASK, i shall receive. But it’s wrong to TELL or demand or command. Admittedly, i have not mastered the skill of “just” asking…. Yet. But i am working on it too!

When i don’t get spanked, i get antsy, cranky, and generally stressed out. i know that sounds dumb. But it’s so true. My anxiety goes way up as i am left to my own devices. When i am spanked, i am brought down a notch, reminded to be submissive, and the endorphins are released bringing about stress-relief.

My biggest wish is that David would see how good it is for me and be CONSISTENT to do it when it’s needed. Or on a routine schedule. Or both.

Well… usually… when he is consistent…. It’s done on Friday’s. We decided that ages ago. It sets the right tone for the weekend and gets things started “right.” But as mentioned, we haven’t done it in a long time. But today, we did.

As i was in the shower, i was debating, “do i ask to be spanked or not?!” And i thought, “i am just going to tell him how much i need it.” And then i thought, “that’s the wrong way to do this. Go ask him to do it.” And then i continued my mental battle by saying, “but if he says NO, it’s going to be a full-on meltdown for me.”

So, i had no clear path forward but got out of the shower anyway. Right about that moment, David came into the bathroom and greeted me. He leaned in and gave me a kiss too. Then he straightened up and said, “I need to do maintenance. Go Assume The Position.”

Ok. That settled that!

So i didn’t say a word and just did as told.

He used the riding crop. It started out smooth and tame and even easy. Then it became more intense with swift strikes to my ass.

As i started to feel the heat rise in my butt, i was squirming around a lot. David is always standing as i am on the bed, so he was in a prime position to use a single hand to press down on my lower back causing me to be pinned between the bed and him. i was no longer able to move.

He struck my bottom over and over.

i could tell it was doing it’s job and calming my thoughts. i was focused on nothing but holding still, enduring what i knew i craved and ultimately needed, and taking it with grace and submissive acceptance.

Eventually i was to my breaking point and was begging him to stop. Begging never works. i do have safe words. When i call “yellow” it is to signal to David that i need him to give me a break, or to slow down, or otherwise consider stopping. Ironically, i can’t seem to find the right words to ask to be spanked, but a single word is all i have to utter to give David a proper and kind request to slow down. But he still has all authority to continue or to stop, until i say the word “red.” So he retains control the whole time. Wish i had a single word to start in the same way i have a word to stop!

When i couldn’t take anymore, i uttered “yellow Sir!” And he decided to stop entirely. i suspect if this was a full-on punishment, he’d not have stopped at all. But i was grateful that today he did stop.

i was still in position when he spoke a question that we both knew was rhetorical. He asked, “are you wet?!” And his fingers found their mark. My body always betrays me by releasing my juices every time i am spanked. i don’t feel turned on or sexually aroused by the spanking, yet, my puss always tells another story. He knew he’d find a dripping wet pussy as he touched it.

He left his one hand on the small of my back as his other hand’s fingers primed my holes. i felt a finger enter my front and another invade my back hole simultaneously. And then he began to hold me in place as his fingers started to stroke my sex. It took just a minute or so before i begged my Sir if i could orgasm, and after he said yes, i let all my juices flow freely.

After i recovered and came to my senses fully, i thanked my Sir properly.

He could tell my mind was then “thinking” and he asked me to share my thoughts.

i asked if we were good now. He said, “I think we are.”

When i asked him why he has not spanked me for the previous weeks, where i was “all but daring” him to do so, he said, “because I wanted to see what you’d do.”

i said, “act poorly.”

He said, “I know. That’s why we had a maintenance where you called yellow. I was determined to go a long time today. And if this doesn’t work, we will repeat until you call red.”

i think we are good.

i knew we would be. i just wanted it to be awhile ago already.

(i’ll write about the new belt and what i think of it very soon.. as i am sitting locked in place now.)

Hope your Friday was as good as mine! 😉

Hugs,

Marie

291 – My Toy or Your Tool

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 291 – My Toy or Your Tool

i did it. i made David mad today. i didn’t mean to. It just happened.

He was out of town for 24-hours .. yesterday left, home today. This morning he texted me good morning and i reciprocated. Then he asked me if i was excited about my “new toy” arriving today.

i got an email yesterday that FINALLY the new chastity belt was to be delivered today. i ordered it on July 10, and finally on December 15 it was to arrive. FIVE months in the making, Their website says “due to COVID supply chain issues, please allow 1-3 months for delivery.” And today was the day it FiNaLlY was scheduled to arrive.

Well. i was excited…..But not to have a “new toy” arrive. i felt like he was insulting me, or making fun of me, or something like that.

i suddenly thought, “this is all just a big game to him. And when he’s tired of playing it, he gets lax. And when he wants to play again, he goes 100% all in.”

And, in my own mind at least, it suddenly made sense to me that he doesn’t LIKE this dynamic and (probably) only does it to make me happy and satisfy my needs. While i should be happy he wants to please me and make me happy, at least some of the time, it makes me UNhappy to think he ONLY does it (“it” being Dominant) to make ME happy.

Suddenly i couldn’t decide if i was sad, hurt, mad, confused, or what! Maybe hurt is best. i couldn’t believe i have been so stupid for so long now and not known or realized he thinks this is all just one big game.

So.

i asked him. About how serious he is about our dynamic.

But.

Not quite that simple either. If it had been, i probably wouldn’t have made him mad.

What i wrote was…..

I guess it may be a “toy” but I think of it as more than that. I think of it as a better way of life and marriage. I think the same about the paddle, cane, and crop. And even my collars.

And i then also wrote…..

I think if you thought of them as your tool(s), instead of my toys(s), things would be that much better.

THAT was when he responded back.

“Fuck you.”

Ahh crap. This isn’t how i should have done this at all.

And i immediately apologized. But. The damage was done.

i genuinely didn’t mean to cause a fight. i thought by leading with “I think” it would be how I THINK. But he took it as, “you should think” which was me telling him what to think or what to do.

That’s when i said…

I genuinely did NOT Intend to make you mad. I was very shocked to see your response. I’m sorry.

If you don’t like being Dominant, or using my toys, then just tell me so. That’s understandable. I just get confused when sometimes you are and sometimes you aren’t, and I just don’t know.

I’m sorry.

To which he didn’t respond for several hours. And when he did, there was nothing about any of this. That moment, along with the anger and any other emotion, had passed. It was as if it never happened at all.

When i got home, i found the package on my bed. i had actually forgotten about the delivery until I saw it.

i opened it up and was excited to see if it fit. And i found the lock on it is really not the right size. It’s hard to explain, but it’s a bit too tight and NOT easy to get on/off.

i decided to try to figure it out while the CB is NOT on my body and therefore not quite as hard to sort out. But then it was time for dinner and our son just got home from college today too, so i let it be. T

hat was when David asked me, “do you have it on?” And i said no, of course.

When he asked me why, i said, “because i can’t figure out the lock,” which confused him. After i showed him how it was not fitting on the belt very well, he tried it himself and agreed it wasn’t working well.

We let it go and we all went out to eat. In addition, David/i drank a bottle of wine. We enjoyed seeing our son and eating/drinking good together as a family again.

When we got home, David became determined that he would figure out the lock. He did research and found that it is a slight bit incorrectly sized and David ordered a new one on Amazon that (hopefully) will be better.

Then after he finished that, he comes in to me and says, “Don’t tell me I’m not serious about this (dynamic and being dominant) when I come home after relaxing and enjoying good wine to then spend nearly an hour researching how to get the right lock!”

So it wasn’t 100% forgotten from this morning like i had assumed.

Now i also think i exaggerated the whole situation from the morning in my head. i got myself in a tizzy for no reason, and provoked my Sir for another no good reason. over my assumption that “my toy” was a game.

i think maintaining 100% consistency about anything in life is difficult and hard to sustain. Maybe a “break” is good (for anything ) sometimes. It’s what you do after the break that matters.

Like if you work out 7-days a week, you’ll eventually burn out. You need a break, as long as you get back out there and go to it again. Same thing with a diet. You can’t live on a diet, but you can give yourself a pass sometimes to eat the dessert (or the glass of wine) and enjoy it.

So maybe David needs a break sometimes. i may well need a break sometimes too actually.

And maybe he didn’t think of the new CB as “my toy” at all. Maybe he was just messing with me and texting that way to be fun and cut up. Who knows! What i do know is that he’s right… if he didn’t care or want to use “my toys” as “his tools” he wouldn’t have spent an hour figuring out the lock!

Maybe in his toolbox is a lot of physical “tools” but maybe some ones that are mental too. Maybe i need to get out of my own head already.

Won’t lie though,., i’m hoping (praying really!) that tomorrow…. a Friday… that we have maintenance. It could do a lot of good if David were to use the Tool (aka: paddle) on my bottom.

Hugs,

Marie