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Tag: keeping it good

135 – Maintenance Fridays

i have attempted to explain Maintenance Friday (MF – okay, completely coincidental with those words!) sessions in the past. To no real avail. i don’t know if i can adequately explain it any better now than i did before, but i’m going to try.

By agreement, we decided to have a MF spanking session every week. Every Friday morning.

Yes, i submit my bottom to be spanked every week. Even when i have done nothing wrong. In fact, MF sessions are not typically about anything done wrong. It is “just because.” It is scheduled for every Friday morning. That schedule doesn’t change. It’s been set for about a year now for that day and time every week.

Seriously, most maintenance Friday sessions are NOT real “MF’ers” as far as spankings go. In fact, most are not too bad at all. David varies the length and intensity. And frankly speaking, it is a practice session, not the real thing. It’s practicing to make perfect. And like anything, the practice session is similar but typically not quite as intense either.

Sometimes though, even i find myself thinking about the “why” do we do MF’s too, especially now, 2-years into practicing Domestic Discipline (DD).

First i should tell you when we started MF, it was because i asked for it. When we first started doing DD, David was tentative. He was nervous and i think he wondered if i was setting him up for failure. Here i was saying, “discipline me.” And i suspect he was like, “what’s the catch?”

So i asked to have MF to be able to show him that i was serious about wanting for him discipline me through spankings, allow him the ability to learn how to do it really without being a pressure (correction) session, and for me to have a chance to show him i would indeed submit.

That’s why we first did them, but why now? Why continue? Well, i would say the ultimate reason now is reinforcement.

To reinforce the good things we want to happen. And decrease the things we don’t.

And yes, i do truly mean “we”, as in, both of David and i. We work together to make our marriage better and we agree that this DD dynamic is really good for us! And we both want, and i dare say “need,” it too! Our marriage is stronger as a result of MF. Our communication, teamwork, and common goal (to make our marriage stronger) is at the forefront. Okay, yes, i know these things can be achieved in other ways too, but THIS way works for us.

Okay, so those are some great outcomes, but W-H-Y would i do that…..Submit to being spanked for no reason?

AND,

W-H-Y would David spank me for nothing done wrong?

Well…. if for no other reason…. practice makes perfect.

Practice WHAT exactly?

Well…. several things actually…..

1) Spanking. Yes. Practicing the actual act of it makes it become perfect. David knows exactly how much i can tolerate, how much makes me cry, how much turns my butt red, and how much is too much….. or not enough. He knows how hard to swing. He knows which instruments cause what results.

And it works for me in the opposite way too. i have learned to receive a spanking the way David wants to deliver it. i know what causes me to wince, to cry, and how it feels. So with fresh reminders from weekly MF spankings, i will (hopefully) want to do what is needed to avoid any further punishments during the week also.

2) Dominance. David can chose to spank OR not on MF’s. And sometimes he chooses not to. Because we both know, it is ultimately his decision and HIS choice, and sometimes he decides not to!

So yes, we do skip MF’s sometimes too. But that decision is ultimately up to him and only him. Which is a reminder to me that i am to submit at all times and be ready too if he decides that it is necessary. These MF sessions serve as a reminder to me that he has been granted power and authority by God, and because i chose to submit to both God and my husband, so if he wishes to spank my bottom, i allow it.

It creates and reinforces confidence in David. That he is indeed in charge, and i will follow his lead in our marriage and our house.

3) submission. It reinforces in me that feeling of not being in charge and ultimately not being in control. i chose to submit. It is an active decision to allow my bottom to hurt for a few minutes in order to submit my mind AND my body to my husband, which reinforces his dominance too (see #2 above).

Plus, intentionally getting naked, bending over, and holding still to receive a spanking is a practice in humility. Submission of the mind AND mind. By doing this weekly, it reinforces that the humility is appropriate and nothing to be ashamed of. It allows me to be fully exposed to my husband’s leadership and control in body and spirit.

4) last but not least…….ultimately…… practice does make perfect.

Think about every activity you’ve ever participated in. The actual event is but a moment in time, but the practice leading up to it seemed never ending and perpetual. Whether it be a sporting event, a theater play, a school exam, or a presentation at work. All of these things have one thing in common: practice.

Repetition. Over and over.

Until it’s perfected.

And when the ultimate “go time!” happens, you say a prayer and hope it goes off without a hitch…. just the way you practiced.

In a marriage though, there’s not really a “performance” day. There’s never the final exam. So you go about life and marriage actually hoping in this case that there is NOT a time that all this practicing is needed. Because that means something had actually gone wrong and an actual punishment is needed. A sign of trouble.

How do you react or respond at that sign of trouble?

Most of the time i act and respond just the way we practiced it…. with submission to my husband’s authority. But sometimes i don’t. And he doesn’t either.

That’s when the MF sessions come in handy. We have a plan in place of how to deal with trouble. And then we just enact it. So when things go awry, now we know how to fix it.

We both have practice knowing what a spanking will look, act, and feel like. David also knows what it will take to correct the ill-behavior and bad actions too. So he knows the “real” spanking needs to be more harsh than the MF ones, and frankly, so do i!

So yes, we practice (almost) every Friday. We have spanking sessions, “just because” so that we have practice making it perfect. “It” being the dominance, submission, DD, and yes, the spanking itself!

i don’t know if i explained the “why” very well or not, but don’t knock it til you try it. You might just find that practice does make your submission (or dominance) perfect too!

Hugs,

Marie

17 – To Maintenance or Not to Maintenance?

A few Deep Thoughts on Spanking… the “just because” kind… or Maintenance… whatever you want to call it.

Whatever you call it, the gist is common and goes like this, “Because I like what you are doing, and I want it to continue, so I’m going to spank you to reinforce that behavior.”

i have to admit this entire concept has been a struggle for me.  If i haven’t done anything WRONG, then WHY do i DESERVE a punishment?  Shouldn’t you just punish the bad and reward the good?

And WHY have i struggled with this?  Okay, so i see a cause/effect relationship between that goes like this:  doing something wrong equals spankings.  Doing what is expected equals NOT getting spankings.

But when there is NOTHING to spank for, but a spanking results, well, isn’t it then …….abuse?  (That is a little word with a HUGE implication!  Trust me, keep reading…)

i probably ought to tell you how idefine “abuse”.  Quite simply, i think it is “unwilling”.  Unwilling to submit, unwilling to agree to be spanked (or any type of discipline), or un-desirable of what is happening…. but if it were to happen anyway…. that would equal abuse.

So how to reconcile all of this?!?  Well today, i changed my attitude about this.

Let me back up just a tad and lay the ground work to tell you HOW i got to the place that resulted in this changed attitude…..

As of late, i’ve had a lottttt to do at work and its caused a lottttt of stress.  Well, when i get stressed, i struggle to submit.  In fact, i struggle to be anything but selfish.  Generally, i don’t treat many people with respect, and certainly not David, to whom i have been married to for 18 years now.

Not that i intend to be “mean” to anyone really, especially David, but just like that phrase, “We take it out on the ones we love the most”, that’s basically what happens for me.   Let me say that this behavior isn’t an out-an-out “bad girl and deserve a spanking right NOW” kind of struggle.  Rather it’s more of a short, snappy, rude, and well, disrespectful responses.  And as an aside, since beginning DD, i’ve actually been LESS rude and LESS inappropriate than it would’ve been before DD.  But still.

So today, i knew i’d gone too far really.  i knew that Sir was being kind to me and letting things slide because of this stress i’ve had.  But, in a way, i’ve abused him (emotionally) by being so mean and so rude and so disrepectful!

Realistically, i knew the answer was to encourage Sir to administer a spanking.  i told Sir  how i think regular maintenance would be good.  It would reinforce the good, discourage the bad….

And let’s face it… Maintenance keeps things running properly.

Even my A/C needs maintenance.  It’s cheaper when the AC company comes and checks on it BEFORE it breaks.  It also creates far fewer of the less-than-desirable hot house days (when it breaks, it would be miserable in Texas!).

So using that same analogy… but applying it to maintenance spankings….. it is far better to reinforce the positive, keep things on track before it has a chance to break, and far less miserable if the ‘bad behavior’ were to NOT happen and cause things would break.

Hence – maintenance is GOOD for my AC and for ME.  🙂

Sir didn’t disappoint.  He prefers the paddle.  So much so, we’ve never used the belt.  i requested that he use the belt today.  And it stung in **the** spot it hit.  The end of it ‘snapped’ at my bottom and stung exactly where it hit.  Unfortunately for me, Sir kept hitting in the exact-same-spot.  So wow, did it really stink!

i debated if it would be out of line to ask Sir to move to a different spot.  But since i already asked for maintenance AND the belt, i decided to keep my mouth shut at this third request in the midst of the spanking moment.

And sure enough, after he was done, he asked me how i felt.  (Glad i didn’t open my mouth in the middle!).  i said, “the maintenance was needed.  i hope to have that happen regularly.  And to the belt, when it hit over and over again in the exact same spot, it stung pretty good and was more painful than the paddle – but only in THAT spot.  Whereas the paddle stings ALL over due to the all over coverage.  If possible, in the future, if you could move around a bit more it would be better.”

To which he said, “First off, you are TELLING me how to administer spankings… and I don’t care for that!  But second, you say ‘better’ if I move around.  Better for WHO?  YOU?”  and he shook his finger at me and continued with “THAT is not your call either”.

But i bet the next time he uses the belt, he will move it around.  🙂

So to maintenance or not to maintenance is the question at hand?    Well, assuming there is a “next time”….for maintenance… or with the belt…..but frankly, i hope there IS a next time.  Because i don’t see this as “ABUSE” in any way because NOW i see the positive and i am willingly submitting to Sir.  And i don’t want to ABUSE him either.  His kindness is overwhelming and i shouldn’t have the ability to use it (to my advantage) to the point that it becomes a way to tip the power/ control in my favor… or inflict mental abuse on Sir.

So i’m pretty sure there will be a next time.

And TO MAINTENANCE is my verdict and final answer.

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie