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Tag: husband in control

283 – “Your shoes aren’t a symbol”

chastity belt = safety

^^^^^ THAT was my conversation earlier tonight with my Sir. About my Chastity belt. And me wanting to have the key to take it off.

i won’t lie, i basically threw a temper tantrum today. i wanted the belt off. i lost. The belt is still on.

Sir won.

Officially he should always win. Unofficially it doesn’t always happen. Today it did happen.

Yes, today…. SIR WON! i know i already said that, but it was worth repeating.

i even looked for the key in all the areas i thought it would be. i really wasn’t sure as i looked if:

1) i was going to be able to find it,

2) if i did find it, would i actually use it,

3) if i wouldn’t use it, why was i looking.

i stopped looking. i don’t think i do want to find it. And it was not in any of those usual or expected places anyway.

Sir hid it well. He won there too.

He’s right in that the belt isn’t uncomfortable really, just getting (more and more) annoying. The way keeping my shoes on when i get home is annoying. But he is right, my shoes are not a symbol. The chastity belt is.

The chastity belt represents a literal and real power exchange. A total power exchange that i have willing done without regret. i would do it again too.

i completely trust my Sir and i give him my all. Until i want the belt off. Until i want to take back the control but to which he does not allow.

i am glad he has not succumbed to my wishes.

In the end, i do NOT want to be in charge and i am glad Sir is. Just sometimes, i want to win. Like today when i have wanted the belt off.

He’s home tomorrow at about this time (7p) but now (based on his comments above), i am unsure if the belt will even come off then.

This is good for me in the end. This total power exchange reminds me of how small i am and how small i should remain.

i write all this while sitting on the couch, in my chastity belt. i have given up asking for it to come off and will submit the way i should. Hopefully anyway! And if i don’t, i suspect i will still be in my belt but then ALSO have a red ass to go with it!

(And did you see the part about my fiction story? i am working on another one. Maybe tonight yet … or tomorrow. Will see.)

Hugs,

Marie

282 – Back in Belt; Control is not mine

chastity belt

David went to Florida for work today through Wednesday night for work. Again, he’s traveling. He has had to travel a lot lately.

His travel goes in streaks and this is one of them. i hate it, but of course, i can’t change it. i think he’s okay with it though. He rather likes traveling overall, which works well for someone who has to do it a lot like he has had to lately.

He left at 5am this morning, on Monday and he returns at 8pm on Wednesday night. A total of nearly 60-hours.

And this time, like many of the previous times David is out of town, i am back in my chastity belt.

This time, unlike some of the other previous times, i do NOT have the key.

i have no idea where it is, other than, “in our house,” which isn’t enough to be able to find it.

i don’t have the key because i needed to have some control taken away. In short, i had a privilege taken away.

As of late, we haven’t totally been on-point. We haven’t been totally off-point either. But, like anything not totally cared for properly, it starts to deteriorate. David hasn’t done maintenance spankings in awhile now, and i think he should have but i haven’t told him that. Instead, i have slowly and unintentionally become a bossy-little-brat-wife.

That led up to David getting so mad on Saturday he yelled at me. i probably deserved (some) of it, but some of it, i did not. When he yelled at me, i got incredibly angry. But. i didn’t say a word. Not-A-Single-Word!

In the past, when he’d get mad and yell, i would yell back. But now, i do not. While i could speak my concerns, “speak” is the key word. And because i was ANGRY i knew there was no way i would speak!

At the end of his yelling, he told me if i had a lot more to say (my mouth was what got me in trouble in the first place!) about the topic, i could walk home. You have NO idea just how close i was to doing it! Talking AND walking.

In the past, i would have challenged his words and called his bluff. i would have demanded to get out of the car and started walking. The dumb thing is that would only hurt myself and does nothing for or to him. And in the D/s world i live in now, Sir would actually let me out and i would be walking. Maybe not the entire way, but enough to wish i hadn’t been so stupid too. Because now, David (almost always) says what he means and means what he says.

So i sat in the vehicle in silence. Complete silence.

After about 10’ish minutes he asked me, “are you good?”

i wasn’t entirely sure i was, but i said i was. After i said that and thought about it more, i started to tell him i was NOT ok. But what was i going to say after that, that would make any difference whatsoever. i asked myself, “What can be said that would make a positive difference? What can i say that would end well?”

i couldn’t think of a single thing.

i also couldn’t think of a logical answer to the questions, “if you weren’t ok, then WHY did you say you were? Did you lie to me??”

So i continued to be silent.

After a bit of more silence, i really did become “ok.” And we began the trek to both being back to normal. Not long thereafter, we were indeed ok.

Yesterday (Sunday) when i was talking with David, i asked him why he got so mad and why he yelled at me. i also asked him why he allowed it to get that bad. His answer was simple, “laziness.”

Now today he went out of town and said he was hiding the key because control was something i had a little too much of lately and we needed to get him (not me) back into the proper position of control he so rightfully deserves.

i was a-ok with that. The belt went on, the lock snapped shut, and the key laid in his hand and then it went away.

Shortly thereafter Sir leaned in, kissed me goodbye, and he left.

It took all of an hour and i was ready to be out. Not because i needed it, but because i wanted it.

i wanted the control back. But i shouldn’t have it and it’s good that i don’t. This is good for both of us.

60-total-hours and counting.

Hugs,

Marie

267 – Best and worst punishment- Whipping Day

My ass is very sore as i write this, about 2-days post a whipping punishment.

That new spanking tool i mentioned before… yah, it’s a leather whip. Pictured here. i found out the hard way just how bad (or do i say how GOOD) it can deliver a punishment spanking on Sunday evening!

David has pretty much just stuck to the paddle, but not on Sunday. He wielded the new spanking whip with ease. He used it as if he’s always used it, with intention and execution.

i dare say it is WAY more effective than the paddle. David knows it too. i would not be surprised at all if the paddle will be retired and this whip will take its place.

So let’s back up….. and let me tell you what led to this punishment. Ultimately i will tell you now it’s basically about the chastity belt, but then, it’s a bit more than that too.

On Sunday morning i was out of bed first, per usual. When i heard David stirring awake, i got his coffee and got into my usual spot to deliver it to him as he passed by.

That morning he surprised me. Instead of just the typical morning greeting, taking the coffee, and moving on past, he dropped his sleep shorts to the floor. And he stood there. He said nothing.

It took me a few seconds to figure out that i needed to drop to the floor also and take his cock in my mouth to deliver a blow job. So while it took me just a few seconds extra, i dutifully did my job. He commented though that “it sure took you (me) long enough to figure it out.”

After that and the coffee, we both started getting ready for church. David goes early because he helps out, so we drive separately. i have 2-full hours at home by myself before i have to go.

After i was so happy to be used for his (blow job) pleasure, i was turned on. i told David this before he left too and asked if i could wear the belt again and he agreed. After it was on, he hid the key once again and he was off to church.

Nearly an hour later, i got a text from David. It was a 12-minute porn video. It was THE video of two girls riding the high-intensity, roll ball massage tool. i watched the whole thing. Knowing how it felt on my clit, first hand, made the video that much better too. i was grateful to have the belt on!

As i made my way to church i thought about how upset i had become yesterday for having it on when i didn’t want it, but now, requested it on and quite happy about it.

That’s when the full reality of it hit me that it truly is submissive growing pains. i was MAD on Saturday when i wanted it off and didn’t get my way. And yet, i don’t get to decide when it goes on AND when it comes off either, or at least i shouldn’t. (And i knew it then too, just couldn’t control my emotions.)

So i texted him and said ALL of the following…..

I think I figured out my problem yesterday…… While the “reason” isn’t too valid and it really shouldn’t matter, I let it bother me.

To date, when I have worn the belt it has pretty much been when I told you that I didn’t trust myself to not touch and/or orgasm without permission. Because I KNOW when I need it most and you may/may not know, I have felt compelled to tell you …. So I am not tempted any further, I shut it down with the belt.

Well…. Yesterday you truly took charge and decided to keep it on. Even if I thought I didn’t need it. I wasn’t feeling the need to play with myself or orgasm, (because I was working too intently), so it seemed unnecessary. And it made me mad that you didn’t trust me to take it off and that i would not play with myself when I was not needing it.

The thing is though …. Most of the times I don’t even trust myself is when I’m left in the house alone, with my toys at my disposal, and my pussy at my access. And while I was saying I didn’t need it yesterday… every time I don’t trust myself was in that very situation that I found myself in yesterday…. Alone, toys, and wanting pussy accessible!

So the fact you didn’t trust me shouldn’t have come as a surprise. And I shouldn’t have gotten mad. And I should be HAPPY you took charge, instead of me telling you when I need/don’t need it, and you just complying with my own directives about need!

It’s this very situation today (alone, toys, and desire) why I put the belt on already.

I need to accept your authority on this more easily! I will not beg you to be out of it again, I will truly start seeing being out of it as a privilege and be appreciative of it.

Thank you for not giving in to me! ❤️

And I hit “Send.” And waited. Saw he read it.

i got his response back. Sir replied back with a single word… which isn’t even a word. He wrote, “hmm”.

Well i said to him, “i expected to get more of a response than that, but maybe you are just busy too.”

And he said, “I am.”

So throughout the day, i asked him about it in different ways. i wanted to know what he really thought. And about 4:00 pm he said, “you are asking me too many questions and asking way too many times!”

i asked, “what do you mean?”

He said, “that’s another question! Stop!”

Ok. Fine. Not fine.

i waited. i grew antsy. i just wanted to talk about it. Or rather, i just wanted him to talk about it to me.

About 30-minutes later, i asked again. “Can we talk about it now?”

“NO! Go get the whip.”

Ahh crap!

When i returned with it in hand, he said, “do you understand what you did wrong?”

“Yes Sir. I was asking too many questions, even after being told to stop.”

“EXACTLY! Why did you insist on asking more questions after I already told you to stop!?”

“i’m not sure Sir. i just wanted to know what you thought about it.”

“You get so irritated when I ask you a lot of questions. Don’t you think it’s hypocritical of you to get mad at me, when you do the same thing?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Bend over (the coffee table), put your palms flat and pull up your dress.” i pulled my dress up onto my back, exposing myself to my Sir. Except of course, i had the chastity belt on still too.

Now i really wanted to ask another question at this moment, but i refrained. It would be self explanatory in no time at all.

The question framed in my mind was, “are you going to spank me with the chastity belt on?”

He’s never done that. But i wisely kept my mouth shut because i knew if he wanted it off, he would produce the key. And he did not. AND i had only the same morning declared i “would not beg to be out of the belt.” ANDDDD asking (too many) questions was what landed me right here in the first place! Why add insult to injury?! (Get the pun… since my ass is about to be “injured”?)

This was the worst (or best?) spanking i have ever had to endure.

i called yellow after so many swats, i couldn’t even tell you.

The only pauses were when i lifted up on my toes, fell off to one side, or somehow got out of positioning. He didn’t tell me to get back into position. He didn’t have to. i knew.

And as soon as i was back in position, another round of swatting reigned down on my ass.

The belt moved a bit, but not much. i think most of the movement of the CB was from my own doing. As i moved around, the belt had to too. i reached back to adjust it slightly, and Sir paused again. But since i wasn’t sure he would, i was swift in my movement as i did not want to get the back of my hand smacked in the process.

He methodically moved from cheek to cheek and back again. The belt creates a very nice outline dividing my ass cheeks apart from one another, and below the waist line that it made it an easy target for David.

He showed equal opportunity to each butt cheek, hitting them both with the same intensity as the other. He even got the tops of my thighs, which at first i thought was maybe an accident but realized it was not when he continued there too.

i try hard to let him decide when enough is enough. i try hard to accept his punishments with grace. But today was so intense that i knew i just couldn’t hold out much longer.

My body started to shake and i felt my breathing start to sputter. My whole body was feeling this punishment and was quite remorseful. Just like a little kid who sobs uncontrollably, that’s what was welling up inside of me.

Finally it occurred to me that Sir was possibly trying to get me to call yellow. Yellow means “let me breathe a second, give me a break, but you can continue after that if you want.”

So when i couldn’t take anymore without a pause, i called yellow. Sir stopped. Entirely. He didn’t want to continue and i was glad for it. (Yet another example of him taking charge… i needed a pause, but he chose to stop. I didn’t ask – or tell – him to stop, he made that decision on his own.)

He stood me upright and said, “Now. Next time I warn you by saying stop, will you listen?”

“Yes Sir. i will.”

“Alright then, I think you’ve learned your lesson today.”

“Thank you Sir. i love you.”

“I love you too my darling wife.”

And with that, we sat gingerly on the couch together, where he let me lay on his chest and snuggle in with him for awhile. i was happy.

That was all 2-days ago, Today, my butt is still sore. i still have to be careful about sitting. And it is a deep purple bruise color too, which is really quite ok. i wear the bruises with pride actually. i am happy in my submissive wife role and i love to be held accountable. (i asked David for this lifestyle and i am glad to do it willingly and consensually).

When i showed David my bruised ass today, he said, “so that looks like it hurts. Hopefully we won’t have to have a repeat performance for quite awhile.”

“i agree Sir. This was the best and worst spanking ever.”

i continued, “best one for effectiveness, and your technique, and your commanding authority. It will cause me to be submissive for a long time and not forget this lesson anytime soon.”

“But it was the worst one in terms of how bad it hurt then and still does. i haven’t ever wanted to say yellow more than i did on Sunday.”

To which he grinned and said one word. A real word this time. He said, “Good!”

One last thought… David did end up expressing his thoughts about my long text on Sunday. But it was in HIS timing, not my own. He was in charge of even the timing in which he talked to me about it. i sort of wondered if he felt he needed time to process his own thoughts and my bugging him about it just pissed him off.

Ironically, his opinions on it started with a QUESTION…. “So you want to be locked up pretty much all the time?” i answered, “while i think it’s good for me and reinforces that i am not to touch myself, AND if left to my own choices, i would say pretty much yes, that is true. But i want this to be your decision and under your authority.”

This is when he told me how pleasing it is to see my growth. He told me that he is happy with me and us and our marriage. And he smiled at me and kissed me deeply.

i have NO idea how much, when, or where i will be in belt now, but….

i have now been in belt more than out of belt as of late. In fact, as i write this i am in belt and preparing to sleep this way.

David told me to put it on this morning but after which he didn’t mention it one bit. He was so silent to it that i wondered if he remembered i had it on. But i absolutely was NOT going to ask any questions about it either! Nor was i going to beg for release, as being out of belt is a privilege that i take seriously now too!

Hugs,

Marie

267 – Oh my wow

So David could’ve easilyyyyyyy just spanked me. But he didn’t.

He could have easilyyyyyyy administered any punishment he wanted! But he didn’t.

Instead, he granted me grace. And time. Time to sort myself out.

Time in the belt, without release, without getting my demands (to produce the key) met. Time to accept things. Time to adjust my attitude. Time… to submit.

After i posted that i was having a bratty, temper-tantrum day, several of you told me how i was wrong. i knew i as wrong, even as it was happening, but i couldn’t seem to stop myself from a downward spiral!

Admittedly after making that post AND your comments, i made a true effort to improve. i took on the “fake it til you make it” attitude.

David noticed. He commented with skepticism about the “sudden improvement.” He was right at that moment, as i WAS faking it. But i figured that to make any effort, even if it was a forced fake one, was better than not trying at all!

i also knew it (probably/ hopefully) wouldn’t take long and i would slip into my submissive groove… where the “make it” part became my reality! Of course, i had to (actually) truly try first!

And boy did it pay off!

David had told me last weekend that he “watched a porn video and saw a non-sexual toy that the girl used in a sexual way…” and that he ordered it for me. i had no idea what that could even mean, let alone actually be.

He had told me then it was a surprise and was to arrive yesterday (Saturday). Well, i had forgot all about it actually. So in my temper-tantrum, bratty self mode, i didn’t even consider the fact i may lose this surprise gift if i kept it up.

After i posted to you all about my stupid attitude, i told him about your comments. He was MORE than pleased to have your total support!

As predicted though, we got into a (small) battle of stubbornness. He told me if i “went swimming in our pool (with him), he would take the belt off.” i already knew the pool temp was low 80’s and the air temp was high 90’s, so the water would feel chilly. i HaTe being CoLd. So instead of taking that bait, i politely said, “No thank you Sir.”

He shrugged his shoulders and with a smile said, “Suit yourself then!”

And again, i questioned if i was right/wrong/ indifferent. This time it WAS a choice he gave me though, and for me, it was a lesser-of-two-evils! Because i was already adjusting my attitude about the belt and submission to Sir, i had gotten “ok” with wearing the belt for whatever duration he prescribed. And i hAtE being cOLd!

The day wore on and he made comments about the belt, my stubbornness, and the possibility (or lack thereof) of me being released.

Like when i needed to get a few things from Walmart and told him i was going there to get them. He inquired about what things that was, and he added, “Do these things you need include a metal bolt cutter (to cut off the lock)?”

And when i was home, i said, “my trip was successful! The metal cutters worked well!”

To which he responded, “yah right! I know better than that!”

Then it came time for Saturday night, fall, college football. Specifically David’s favorite team: LSU. They were playing an in-state school, who they had NEVER played, so it was more of a commemorative game than a competitive one. But we watch LSU whenever it is on!

After the first quarter score resulted in a LSU record for most points scored in any quarter ever, i asked Sir if i could give him a blow job. He said, “not until halftime.”

Midway through Q2, i got on the floor in front of him with lotion and began rubbing his feet in a relaxing massage motion. i was naked, save the belt of course. i pressed his foot against my breasts, while kneading his calf muscles. i was intentionally flirting with Sir.

As the quarter moved along, i did too. Timing my upward movements to coincide with the game clock.

When the clock finally wound down to zero and it was halftime, i was ready to pull his cock from his pants. Instead though, Sir said, “stand up.” i questioned him, “why? It’s halftime (and time for your blow job.)”

He gave me a look that said, “really? Are you seriously going back to this morning’s brattiness?”

The look was enough. i dutifully stood without another word.

He produced the key to the chastity belt, and said, “take it off. Spread your legs, close your eyes. And wait.”

Uhm. Ok.

So i did.

He returned and placed a high intensity vibrating round foam roller massage thingie between my legs, then he guided me backward to the couch, and said, “sit on it until halftime is over.”

i was intrigued and definitely surprised. David saw the joy in my face and said, “after the way you’ve acted today, you probably don’t deserve this surprise. But you did pull yourself together and I already had this planned out.”

He continued, “you know how I really don’t enjoy halftime. I think you can provide something of a better show that I’d prefer to watch.”

It was about 30-seconds in that i thought, “there’s NO way i will NOT orgasm before the end of halftime.” So i told Sir this, to which (thankfully!) he said, “you can have as many orgasms as you want or need. Just don’t move off the toy until I say you can.”

i lost count. i was in orgasm heaven. i went over the edge, with permission, somewhere around 6-8 x’s!

i dare say i did put on a good, live porn show for him. And that he was pleased with my halftime performance!

i didn’t touch myself with my hands, nor did i have penetration… both of which i really wanted! i did beg him to allow me to get off of the roller and to let me climb on his cock. He said no.

At one point, it turned itself off. i may have moved it to press the button, but it was unintentional. So i took it, still between my legs, over to Sir (who was sitting on the couch straight cross from me), and he turned it back on…. And moved it up to Level 3!

That was when i really had most of the orgasms. But since i was close to David, i sat on his couch… with the thingie between my legs pressing firmly on my clit. And i pulled Sir’s shorts off and started giving him that blow job too. i was ravenous in my sucking. What i felt between my legs, was manifested in my mouth and onto his cock! And his member responded!

When halftime was over, so was i! And i was thankful to be done as his pussy and my body were exhausted!

i went to our room and prepared for bed. He came in a bit later and said, “the belt can stay off for tonight. I don’t think you have enough energy now to touch yourself. I think you’ll sleep well now too.”

And he was right.

i suspect the next time i question his authority, i won’t be treated so kindly. i won’t have good surprises, or his grace.

This time though, this is exactly what i absolutely needed…. To feel loved and appreciated. And while he held his ground (and did not produce the key until he wanted to), i was firmly made aware that he did it from a position of love.

It’s made me realize that good things come to those who wait…. Patiently, submissively, and respectfully.

There (hopefully) won’t be a next time where i (stupidly) question his key holder decisions… and merely accept it!

Hugs,

Marie

266 – just call me Little Miss Stubborn!

i am acting out today. i don’t entirely know why i am acting this way, but i am. And David is unimpressed.

So far i have escaped punishment, but i think if i continue to carry on this way it will not end well for me.

So i told you in my last post that at the end of our Maintenance Friday session, Sir told me to put on the chastity belt. And i did.

i slept in it last night and have worn it all day today. i have no immediate end in sight either. Mostly because of my own attitude problems!

This morning, David went off to play golf and i stayed home. Unless you count the belt, i have stayed naked all day today. And in the process of being alone, and in my own mind, i have managed to get myself angry that i am still locked up.

i texted David while he was golfing and asked if i could have the key. When he asked me why, i didn’t have a good reason and so he said No.

And as the day has worn on, the obsession with getting out has become my sole focus. Every time David commented on something, related or not, i managed to bring it up. And the answer has been “no” every time.

Twice now he’s asked me, “Do you need to Assume The Position? Because we can cure you of this attitude.” To which i responded with, “i don’t want to,” but admittedly, my behavior would suggest otherwise!

At one point, i texted Sir saying, “i am throwing my own (mental) temper tantrum over being in this belt. i don’t want to wear it anymore today.”

i continued, “if i were a toddler, i’d be in hysterics and screaming, while crying, “let me out!” And if i were a teen, i’d be throwing down anger while screaming, “this is stupid. You are being unfair and untrusting! i don’t deserve this.”

He didn’t care. And that made me madder still.

He said, “Remember. You did this to yourself.”

When i responded with on,y the word “ok” was when he asked me the first time if i needed to Assume The Position. Maybe i should’ve said yes, as he’d likely let me out to be able to spank me!

Now since he’s been home, he smiles a wicked smile at me and keeps on walking. Once he did ask if i NEEDED to be let out. i told him MENTALLY i do. He said that wasn’t a need worth entertaining.

Then another time he asked me, “why exactly do you want to be out?”

And the thing is, i don’t really know. i think it’s just the fact that it doesn’t seem necessary. Or maybe it’s because he’s home, so he should want it open to play with. Or maybe it’s because i feel like he’s not trusting me. Or maybe it’s just because i do!

When I didn’t really have any answer at all, he said, “you just want out to play with yourself and there’s no reason for that as I’m not allowing that at this time.”

Now you’d think this would be enough for me to get my head screwed on straight. i mean, really…. i have no valid reason for wanting out. i agreed to submit, so… submit already!

And if that submission means he wants HIS pussy locked up, then it is what it is! i should be happy and thankful that he cares enough to lock it up!

i know all this. i know it’s fact. i know it’s nothing i want to change.

i just ALSO want to be unlocked. Or maybe i just want to know when i will be unlocked.

Maybe it’s that i just don’t know when the lock will be sprung. In the most recent long-time locked sessions, i knew it was because David was out of town, AND i knew when he would return. So i could (and did) mentally prepare myself to get to the finish line.

But NOW.

Now i don’t know when or where the finish line is! It might be in 5-minutes or 5-days!

Unfortunately you’d think i would just get into my submissive mind and be ok with this. But instead, while i am done pouting and screaming and throwing a temper tantrum…. i am getting to the Stubborn-stage. i am now digging in my heels.

i now am like, “fine. See if i care. i will wear this belt and you get denied too! Because while i can’t play, neither can you!!”

And i know he knows that i am now becoming stubborn. He asked me why i was. When i shrugged, he laughed and said, “ok. That’s fine.”

The thing is, David is just as stubborn as i am! He can (probably) hold out longer than me on this one as HE HAS THE KEY.

And even if he wants to use me, he can produce the key, unlock, use, and relock at his will.

Frankly, he has NO reason to let me out before i change my attitude! All he has to do is sit back… and wait.

i know…. This is SO stupid on my part. i don’t hold the key and i don’t have any idea where it is! And i got myself into the belt for suggesting to David last night that he shouldn’t allow me to orgasm. AND i have agreed to submit. AND this belt is comfortable (overall). AND there is NO reason to be out….. Except that i want to be!

We shall see, but i won’t be surprised if i am in this belt tonight too. Hell, at the rate i am going… it may be tonight AND tomorrow night too! i may hit a new high for the length of consecutive time in belt!

i am going to try to change my attitude. i know it’s in my own best interest!

Hugs,

Marie