Skip to main content

Tag: authority

11 – Double Date with BFF’s

Sir and i went out on a double date last night with our BFF’s.  They are married and we met because our children were in kinder together (at a private Christian school no less!).  We have always had a mutual attraction, but never reallyyyyyyy acted on it.

First the backstory…

So our kids were in kindergarten and as you stand outside the classroom door, you get to know one another’s faces, as the school year drones on you say hello, and it takes off from there.

i’ve always thought she was hot.  She is probably **the** reason i wanted to kiss a woman.  But she is the elusive, flirty, look-but-do-NOT-touch, type.  When i am with her, i find myself with loads of JOY.  So i’ll call her “Joy” from now on.

Joy is one of those women who is older and wiser than her actual years. In fact, i’m about 10-years older than her, but to talk to us, you’d have NO idea that she wasn’t older than me.  She’s done more things, been to more places, and seen more wilder things that i’ve even dared to think about.  At least, so she says.

She and i quickly became BFF’s as our sons also became BFF’s.  It was convenient!  And we confided in one another about everything – i think.  i say ‘i think’ because the longer i know her (going on 10-years now!) the more i “find out” that she hadn’t told me before. Which isn’t bad, just eye opening in a “oh, i didn’t know THAT,” kind of way.

But because we talk openly, we talk about EVERYTHING.  She once told me that “if we weren’t married to our husbands, we would  make the perfect couple and i’d ask you to marry me!” and she was serious.  And what’s more, i pretty much agreed with her too!

We hung out, texted, called each other A LOT.  She started calling me, “HER MARIE”.  And told her husband that “When I’m with MY Marie, you have to take a backseat.  I’ll always come home to you, but she comes first!” WOW.  Bold.  (She’s NOT a submissive!)

Our husbands began to be friends too, because we would coordinate double-dates, just so that they were included but really, it was so we could be together too.

But that’s as far as it’s ever gone sexually too…… mostly anyway.

SEXTING with Joy.

She loves to sext me.  Joy brings a smile to my face when she sends me naughty pictures and asks for some in return.  She tells me she’s been with women before and loved it, but that her husband didn’t think it was ‘right’.  i’ve decided i think that was simply an ‘excuse’ to tell me so that she wouldn’t have to get naked in front of me, in person, and let me have my way with her (and vice versa).

Joy has sent me all sorts of naked porn and seductively dressed pictures.  i think she knows i’d love to taste her.  And that’s likely why when we are together, she flirts (heavily) but because we are ALWAYS in public, it would never go further than flirting.

Joy’s husband.

Let me tell you a bit about Joy’s husband.  Most of which is second-hand knowledge from Joy, because of course, i talk to Joy wayyyyy more than i do her husband.

Her husband is manly in that he works out, he’s done an Iron Man challenge, and he’s fit.  She says it is all for show though.  She says that on the inside, he is very much a puppy dog and does what she wants.  She likes to “be on top” but she also likes to “top from the bottom”. Maybe she’s a switch and ultimately not just a dominant or a submissive!

She hands him devices and tells him to use them. Once she and i went to a girl’s night out and she told me that she “put his cock in a cage, took the key (with her to our girl’s night), and told him to expect sexy pictures from us all night while we were out.” And then she laughed and told me, “he likes it! And I like being in control!”.

And then she proceeded to tell me that she/i would take turns going to the bathroom taking naughty pictures and sending them to him.  And we did.  But of course, we didn’t do this “together”.

So because he is physically fit (The Iron Man Challenge!) and he loves Iron on his cock apparently too, i’m going to call him “IRON” from now on.  So Joy and Iron are happily married with her telling him what to do… and in some ways.. telling me what to do too.

Fantasy date nights.

Joy has told me she wanted us to set up a date with each of our husbands, at separate restaurants, but on the same day and time.  They would think they were going to dinner with their wife. But THEN when it came time to go out, we would tell them we had to drive separate cars (not sure how i’d have ever managed to convince Sir that while we are going to the same place, we have to drive separate cars!?).

And each of her/i would go to the “other husband’s” restaurant.  And act, look, talk as if we are married to that husband.  So she would go meet Sir and i would go meet Iron.  And when we were together with the other one’s husband, we would touch, kiss, and ‘act married’ to that one.

We’ve never actually done that because at the time she suggested it, i wasn’t too sure how much Iron and i would actually have in common or what we would ‘do’ or talk about.  And frankly, i was a bit worried that Iron would just get mad. David would likely be turned on and think it hot, but i wasn’t certain of that either.

SATURDAY REAL DATE NIGHT.

Last night Joy and Iron, and myself and Sir went to dinner and drinks altogether on a double-date. We went to a nice steak house and ate dinner, drank two bottles of wine, and went to the cigar room in the restaurant for a cocktail after that.  (i was drunk off my ass!)

When i get drunk, i get horny.  Okay, so i get horny pretty much anytime David is around, but still… it’s magnified when i’m drunk.  Okay, maybe not magnified at all… maybe just that i tell him more… i become more aggressive about it!

And at dinner, i was sitting next to Sir and put my hand on his leg.  i started rubbing his leg in a “i’m thinking of you” and “i love you” and a “massage” kind of way.  He seemed to like it.

And the drunker i got, the more bold i got.  i moved my hand up to his crotch and started rubbing on his cock.  i could feel it responding.  i could tell he liked it.

But that’s when he grabbed my hand, put it on my own leg, and said, “STOP!  You didn’t ask permission to touch my leg, let alone my cock!”.

i cringed. Ouch, that kinda hurt my ego.

And i whispered, “may i please touch your cock Sir?”  into his ear.

He said, “NO.  You should’ve asked first.  But you didn’t.  So you lost that privilege!”

Joy was observant though and noticed this exchange.  She looked at me and said, “are you okay?”

i said, “oh yes, i’m in trouble though.  i didn’t ask permission.”

And Sir said, “Most definitely in trouble!”

Joy said, “Didn’t ask permission for what?”

Sir said, “Tell her!” Despite texting and sexting a lot with Joy, i hadn’t told her about this new submissive dynamic we had now.

Me, “For touching his cock without permission.” And i looked down.

Joy laughed and said, “i hope the punishment fits the crime” and she winked.  i think she thinks i was in a ‘play/ fun kind of trouble’ and frankly, i wasn’t sure if she was right or not.  i’d have to wait and see.

Cigar room fun.

Have you ever smoked a cigar?  It creates a natural high from the nicotine.  So combine alcohol, cigar high, and horny-ness (is that a word?) together and what do you get?

i got Joy sitting in my lap and proclaiming how happy she was to have “Her Marie” now.

That’s when Sir said, “kiss her”.

i wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or Joy, but it could be interchangeable.  So she leaned in and pecked me on the lips.

Sir said, “That wasn’t much of a kiss”.

And she leaned in and KISSED ME.  i tasted her tongue.  i felt the heat between us.  i wanted more.  So i asked her if David could take our picture while we did that again.  She laughed and said, “sure.”  So i got to kiss her again.  And i got a picture too.  🙂

But … alas… that was it.  Done.  No more.  That was all she wrote.

Really?!  i was left feeling teased on a whole new level.

MAYBE NEXT TIME.

Sir said we should start having more double date nights.  And the next one maybe should be closer to home.  And maybe the one after that, we could come back to our home.  And maybe the one after THAT, he’d order me naked as soon as we hit the house and he would “strongly suggest” (because she would probably listen to Sir, but still want to be in control) that she use a toy on me.  And then the NEXT time, he’d tell me to lick her pussy until she came. And then…. and then…..

And that’s maybe when she’d let Iron out of his cage to play also.

Maybe.

One can hope.

One day.

One date.

Soon.

Maybe.

Or maybe not!

Hugs ~

Marie

10 – Focus already! … Red ass indeed

So David came home from his work-travel trip this week.  And at the conclusion of our at-home family dinner he said very calmly and appropriately to me, “Go make yourself ready.  Be prepared to tell me about your Transgressions.”

Well, i knew.   But in my head i thought, “our son is home.  Surely he won’t do anything while our son is home and awake and can hear.  Maybe he didn’t mean ready for spanking, but maybe ready for bed?!”  So I brushed my teeth.

Oops!  Boy was i wrong!  He came in and said, “Getting ready means brushing your teeth?!?!?” and i calmly responded, “Getting ready for bed does.”  And he said, “do NOT test me!” (Ok, he was right. i knew. Even you knew. Right?!?)

So i stopped and dropped.  My pants, panties, shirt, bra.  Everything.  And i calmly walked to the edge of the bed and placed my hands on the bed, with my feet firmly on the floor.  He makes a point to tell me that my “heels are to remain on the floor at all times.”  i almost never succeed in this, but i can keep trying!

As i waited for what came next, i felt his hand come up under my arm.  He had recently bought some of the mini sized clothes pins.  And he pinched them open and applied one to each nipple.  And that’s when he got out the flogger.  He hit me firmly with it exactly 5 times.  It made a LOT of noise.  i feared our son would hear.  But if he did, he didn’t say anything.  And between each swat, i had to tell him another Transgression.

Then he stood me up, thanked me for all that i had done right, forgave me for all that was not done correct, and all was forgiven.  But the clothes pins were to stay for awhile longer as a reminder.

About an hour later, my nipples were swollen and throbbing, but i didn’t dare say a word.  i did fear he’d maybe forgotten.  But he had not and he finally relented and took them off.  And OH-HOLY-HELL when they came off, the rush of blood back into the nipple caused some immediate pain!  And then it subsided almost as fast.  But wow, i wasn’t expecting that!

i was relieved that was all there was.  And then we went to sleep.

That was 2-days ago.

Then yesterday.  i was struggling to focus at all, on anything, at work yesterday.  So i gave up at 3p and went home.  When i got home, he was there as he frequently works from home.  He asked me why i was home so i told him (the truth!) about being unable to focus.

And that’s when he said, “Go to the bedroom.”  And i did.  And i stripped.  i prepared myself. This time to be spanked and not brushing my teeth! 😉

When he came in, he asked me if i knew why i was there.  i responded with “i was unable to focus today and i need a mind readjustment.” He said, “very good.  You were able to focus on that.  Let’s see if you can focus on this.”  And i felt the paddle come down …. hard… on my ass.

My ankles left the floor.  And he fussed at me and then placed his foot on top of the arch of my foot, with a hand on the small of my back to force my feet (and heels) to stay down also.

He said, “You will respond with ‘i will focus’ between each swat.  Do you understand?”

“Yes Sir”.

SWAT.

“i will focus”

SWAT.

“i WILL focus”

SWAT.

“i PROMISE i WILL FOCUS!”

Him:  “Are you sure?  REALLY sure?”

SWAT.

“Yes Sir.  i WILL FOCUS!”

Him: “Not good enough”

SWAT!

“i will focus”.  This is where the tears were welling up in my eyes.  But he didn’t know that as my head was down and not facing him.  i know he HAD to have heard it in my cracking voice though.

He cared, but not enough to stop.  He hadn’t driven home his point yet.

This continued for a total of somewhere around 15 swats.  i’m not really sure, because i was simply FOCUSED on saying, “i will focus” and attempting (and failing!) to keep my ankles on the floor.

And with that, he said, “Let’s see how much you are really ready to focus.  I’m sure there are emails you’ve neglected today in your lack of focus.  Go answer emails now.”

i didn’t put on a single stitch of clothing.  He didn’t say “Get dressed and then go answer emails”  instead, i heard exactly what he said, “GO ANSWER EMAILS NOW.” That meant “FOCUS on exactly what I said and GO NOW!” and do not stop or pass go or collect $200.  So i did.

And i started up my laptop.  i opened email.  And i more-or-less just sat there.  i just wasn’t feeling the focus at all … still…

At least i can say i was trying to focus, which was more than i could say i’d done earlier in the day.  But still, not really focused!

And he noticed.

BACK TO THE BEDROOM.  NOW.

Here we go again.  Oh yikes!  Really, WHY did i do this to myself?  i didn’t really set out to do this, it ‘just happened.’

And i assumed the position.  i wondered how my ass was going to take this and if he’d show mercy on me.  He did not.

SWAT.

“i will focus”

Him:  “Really?  That’s what you said last time.  Not even 20 minutes ago!”

SWAT

“i will focus”

Him: “WHEN?  Today or tomorrow? What is it going to take Marie?”

SWAT

“i will focus”

SWAT

“i will focus”

Him:  “Ready to truly focus?”

SWAT

“i will focus.  Yes Sir, i am.”

SWAT

“i really am ready to focus Sir.”

Again, i know it was around 10 total, but i wasn’t even focused on counting. He stood me up and said, “i want you to go set an alarm for 15-minutes.  Do NOT get distracted by ANYTHING and read and respond to as many emails as you can in that time.  I’m telling you again – Do NOT get distracted!”

“Yes Sir”

And i did!  i succeeded this time!

i deserved a red ass

i really did.  i know i did.  i was not focused – on anything including being spanked and his attempts to help me RE-focus – and accomplished very little beforehand.  But i did certainly want to please Sir and i wanted to focus.  He definitely helped me to shut out the world, all the distractions, and FOCUS on one thing – my ass – okay, maybe a few things – the words, “i will focus” and pleasing my Sir.

Today my butt is sore.  But my mind is FOCUSED.

While i needed to focus yesterday, today i’m reminded as my butt is a bit sore overall.  i looked in the mirror and saw a couple of bruises.  i suppose i deserved that too.  i hope i can stay focused and not have to have a repeat of this session…. i suspect next time it would be even worse!

Hugs ~

Marie

9 – Why do i never capitalize i?

Hello ~

You may have noticed i don’t capitalize “I” when i speak about me.  i thought this might be a good time to explain why i never capitalize “I”.

In short – Submission at its fullest.

And before you ask, NO, i’m not being “made” to have the lower case i.  This is a choice.  This is my small act of service and gratitude that when i type “I”, i have to stop and think and remember my place.

i learned to type in a class in high school.  And i’m now in my 40’s.  So hitting the “SHIFT” key to type “I” is a natural habit of mine after all these years.  But when i embraced this DD lifestyle, i wanted things to be different.  i wanted change in my life.  And this was my small act that causes me to stop, think, and consider how small “I” am.  And how small i should be too!

Both in the world and in my home life, i am small.  i don’t want to be big.  i don’t want to rule anything, including my house or my family.  i am a Christian and we go to church (most) weeks. i believe God is the ultimate Father and then comes my husband.  But frankly, to neither of God nor my husband do i want to be “BIG” so why would i have a “BIG” letter “I” if i recognize that i am small.

In the bible, Jesus declares himself as the “Great I AM”.  WOW.  What a statement!  Absolutely none of us would think we were as big as that “I”, right?!  So if Jesus/ God are first, and my husband is second, aren’t i just a lower case i?!

Now don’t misunderstand me, i’m not oppressed or forced into this lifestyle.  i do this willingly, including putting the small i in my posts.  In fact, my husband asks my opinion on quite a lot of things.  Or maybe he doesn’t word it like “what’s your opinion on XYZ?” But he often says, “What do you think about XYZ?”  Or “What time will you be home?”.  Now sometimes i’d rather not even have THAT choice, but i understand he can’t possibly make EVERY-SINGLE-DECISION-EVER.

But i have no desire to be a “slave”.  i think there’s some profound differences between slave and sub.  While a slave is a sub, a sub is not necessarily a slave.  And i believe i am a sub but not a slave.  i may one day desire to be there.  In fact, there are facets about it that truly turn me on and maybe as a ‘fantasy role-play’ or a ‘date night activity’ we could try it out, but i’m not entirely sure how anyone can actually live as a slave 24/7.  That seems rather taxing on everyone!

So how do i exactly define the differences between the sub and the slave?  Here’s my official definition – with help from Mr. Webster too  🙂 –

And speaking of Webster –

here’s the official definition of  “Submissive”:

sub·mis·sive

səbˈmisiv/

adjective

adjective: submissive

  1. ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive

And here is the official definition of “Slave”:

slave

slāv/

noun

noun: slave; plural noun: slaves

  1. a person who is the legal property of another and is forced to obey them
    • a person who works very hard without proper remuneration or appreciation.
    • “by the time I was ten, I had become her slave, doing all the housework”
    • a person who is excessively dependent upon or controlled by something.
    • “the poorest people of the world are slaves to the banks”
    • a device, or part of one, directly controlled by another.
    • “a slave cassette deck”
    • an ant captured in its pupal state by an ant of another species, for which it becomes a worker.

So what’s the difference?

A submissive is “ready to conform” – WILLINGNESS

And a Slave is “forced to obey” – (perhaps…) UNWILLING.

While i am completely aware that “Slaves” in this day and age are WILLING and not forced, that’s not exactly my point here.  i think the point here is CHOICE.  And sometimes i have ‘choices’ that i want to make.  A slave doesn’t really have ANY choices.  Right?

Additionally a submissive (sometimes) get permission when they ask, a slave isn’t even allowed to ask.

That’s why i am submissive and not the Alpha or “upper case” i, but i am me.

So what does that mean?  Well, back to where i started…. The lower case letters are inferior or not as important as the capital ones.  But they still have a place and participate in the process.  And Upper Case Letters Start Words, Proper Names and Places, and Denote Significance.  (see what i did with the upper case letters there?!).

Oh – and let’s not forget how the lower case letters always FOLLOW the upper case.  So you might say that i am following I, which is obviously NOT ME.

Additionally, without a “period” at the end of the sentence followed with an upper case letter to start the next sentence, we might not completely be always aware where one sentence ends and the other begins.  So while i don’t really want to ‘stand alone’ and i want to ‘not know where (my husband) ends and i start’ , but frankly, i am not as important.  Right?

So if lower i is inferior to the capital I, then the capital I should be in charge and rule things.  And i believe that is David, and not “i”.  God (and David) can use the capital I, but i’ll chose to use the lower i.  And it’s a constant reminder as i type to NOT hit the shift key first.  🙂

What are your thoughts?  Agree or disagree …. feel free to give your opinions…please just disagree kindly too.

Hugs and Kisses ~

7 – Transgression.. what’s in a word?

Webster defines “Transgression” as such……

rans·gres·sion

transˈɡreSHən,tranzˈɡreSHən/

noun

noun: transgression; plural noun: transgressions

– an act that goes against a law, rule, or code of conduct; an offense.

“I’ll be keeping an eye out for further transgressions”

synonyms:offense, crime, sin, wrong, wrongdoing, misdemeanor, impropriety, infraction, misdeed, lawbreaking;

How do “i” (as in: me, submissive, in a DD relationship, loving discipline life, loving Sir) define “Transgre

ssion”?  Well … the same actually.

Don’t tell anyone, but i rather like the part about “I’ll be keeping an eye out for further transgressions”.  Was Webster in a D/s or M/s or DD relationship too? Was that intentional or just coincidental that it seems to say there is a DOM and a SUB relationship to this “word” .

When i don’t do as i’m supposed to.. in other words, when i commit an act that goes against a rule AND code of conduct expected of me… it is a TRANSGRESSION.

Now here’s where the GREY (50 shades?!) comes in….. what if the “RULE” wasn’t clearly defined?  What if I didn’t even know it WAS a rule?  Does that still make it a “Transgression”?

Ignorance is Bliss (?) valid or an excuse?

Does that apply to situations when you “just didn’t know” or does this even apply at all … ever… to ANY part of our lives?  By show of hands, who actually believes this phrase is TRUE?

Or do you think that this is an excuse to NOT do as you KNOW you should?  Or maybe a loophole that you are looking for…..

“But Sir, i shouldn’t be punished… i didn’t know”.

What should your Sir say after that … “Okay, you are right” ??? OR “I don’t care, bend over”??

And if he agrees with

h you, is that making HIM SUBMIT TO YOU?  Or is the fact that you asked him and questioned his authority make YOU at fault – and yet – another Transgression?

See where i’m going with this?  The GRAY area…. and this could lead to the 50-shades on your ass kind of gray…..

MY TRANSGRESSIONS

i’m supposed to log my transgressions.  And maybe i’m justifying my actions here (hence the above section) BUT … sometimes i just don’t know if it was a Transgression or not.

So i’m going to call these “semi-Transgression” because maybe it is and maybe it’s not.  But i’m not sure this is my call to make, so i’ll let Sir read this and determine what he thinks is best.  Maybe this is the section that leads to further communications between us… to clarify what is or is not a Transgression… or more specifically what is a rule/ code of conduct expectation or not.

In any event… this week David is out of town.  So i’m having to log EVERYTHING since i last saw him until he’s home.  Here’s the listing so far…..

Clearly a Transgression

– Per my previous blog entry, Spoonful of Medicine…, i forgot to get the medicine from the pharmacy when specifically told.  i had to be reminded.

– Cursing.  i know this is not acceptable to David.  He’s NEVER liked my foul language.  And yet, i do it anyway.  Some of it is training myself and being aware of what comes out of my mouth before i say it.  Today, while taking our son to school, i said, “get your ass out of my

way” to the car in front of me.  Clearly unacceptable.

Gray Transgressions or Semi-Transgressions

Again, these are in the “would they be or would they not be” transgressions area,.. but i’m listing them anyway… just in case.

– Last evening, i asked Sir for permission to take a relaxing bath.  He said i could, but i had to finger myself and get myself “close to orgasm, but DO NOT do so”.  That is hard.  i’ve always been unable to stop myself, once i get that close.  i begin to desire the orgasm, begging it to come, and wanting to keep going.  And i always do.  Now i did NOT do that this time (yeah for me!).  So what makes this hit the list at all then?

———- well, because i REALLY wanted to cum.  i decided to text Sir, “Please may i PLEASEEEEE cum??” and he wrote back, “NO”.  i then pushed it further and said a couple minutes later, “i reallyyyyyy want to cum”.  And he wrote back, “don’t test me”.  🙁

———- BECAUSE i DID test him – i think this needs to go on the list.  But maybe its not a transgression because i didn’t cum?!  But it probably is because i didn’t take his order and strictly obey, i asked…. TWICE… for him to reconsider.  Questioning authority.

——-again, i’ll let Sir decide.

– Topping from the Bottom.  What do i mean?  Well, when i try to tell Sir how to Dominate me.  How i should submit to him.  i’m not sure ‘how much is too much’ and how much Sir might actually appreciate my commentary or creative ideas.  (i’m not too sure WHY i suggest creative ideas… for mostly they are more ways that i can F*** up and gain more punishment!  — Does that F*** count as a Curse word?! and yet ANOTHER official Transgression?!?  it might!  Yikes!).  Anyway, i’ve been doing this though because we are still new to all this and as i read more about it, read blogs of others, and find more ways to enhance our lifestyle, i want him to know too.  (But again, maybe i need to actually SUBMIT and let him DOMINATE as i know i want!)

i have NO doubt that my transgressions will result in some kind of punishment upon Sir’s return….  i will welcome that punishment as i know it is JUSTICE served.

So that’s it for “today’s listing”… i’ll stop before i commit further transgressions (like cursing… yet again!!) …. but it is only 7:46 a.m….. so there’s lots of day left!  i may be back here to report more in an “update” by tonight/ tomorrow.

Hugs and Kisses Today!

UPDATE: It has been a whopping 2-hours since i posted this.  And i have another transgression to report!  (And a Whopping i will receive i’m sure!)

– i was told to do a PDF for a submission of artwork for an advertising event.  PLUS send the CHECK to pay for it!  i did the artwork pdf.  i did NOT put the check in the mail.  🙁  i had to be reminded by the advertising agency, who put David in copy on the email.  He responded with a simple, “I will make sure she does it today”.  But that wording told me ALL i needed to know.  SOOOOO —- another transgression.

(i don’t like it when Sir goes out of town…. the build up of unsettled Transgressions is beginning to cause me some anxiety….  i can’t hardly imagine how BAD my butt is going to hurt when he’s done settling these up!).

UPDATE 2:   ONLY A FEW MORE HOURS LATER… wow.  This whole submission thing is wayyyyy harder than i thought it would.  i guess i have this ‘vision’ in my head of how it should go.  And as a result, the “Topping from the Bottom” is most definitely out of control and has now gone from “gray” to “definite” transgression.   i bought some “nipple (suction) cups” (think about Michael Phelps – Olympic Swimmer – his cupping only for nipples).  i got them in the mail yesterday … when Sir is out of town.. and i put them on.  They created nice, perky, alert nipples.  i told Sir about it and sent him a picture, which he very much loved.  i “told him” that he ought to require i cup the nipples ‘regularly… maybe even be required to wear them every meal’ so that when i’m naked next, they would be ready for his viewing pleasure.  He responded with “I like that idea”.  SOOOO THENNNNN i decided to take it upon myself and tell him “so are you going to make this a rule?  If so, i need to know when it starts and how often”.  He didn’t respond, although i know he read the text for read receipt.  After a few more hours, i asked if overstepped my bounds, and he did respond with “You are a little bossy on these ideas”  YIKES.  THAT’s what i figured he might say.  When i explained i only get excited with new ideas and want to share with him, but i need to be observant of the tone, he suggested i say, “You could say look at this cool idea…..”.  He’s right.  i’m wrong.

Wondering now if i’ll get to tomorrow before having to report yet another transgression.  🙁  (I think the tack bra may be put to a lottttttt of use soon!)

UPDATE 3:  FINAL one. Because Sir is almost home!  i will be seeing him in less than an hour.  (Thank God! i can’t handle the weight of these transgressions piling up so!)

So for this update – i have TWO thing i must report – 🙁

– i masturbated without permission.  i knew it was wrong, and i didn’t cum… but that’s because the weight of the transgression was weighing on me and became a buzz kill.  David was on an airplane and i was getting excited (and wet) for being able to see him, so i just though i’d relieve the pressure.  But i didn’t even get off.  And now i have to report it.  This was NOT worth it.

– David asked me to look into a recurring credit card charge to determine if it is something we want/ need to keep/ or should cancel.  i told him i would talk to our son, because i was sure it was one of his game charges.  And i forgot.  For 24-full-hours.  i only remembered when i did because i looked at email and saw it there.

FINAL WORDS:  i will gladly accept my punishment, because i know it is: 

a) deserved,

b) a consequence of my own actions,

c) born from love

d) will clear the slate and my conscience.

There’s always tomorrow ….. if i can sit…..