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282 – Back in Belt; Control is not mine

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David went to Florida for work today through Wednesday night for work. Again, he’s traveling. He has had to travel a lot lately.

His travel goes in streaks and this is one of them. i hate it, but of course, i can’t change it. i think he’s okay with it though. He rather likes traveling overall, which works well for someone who has to do it a lot like he has had to lately.

He left at 5am this morning, on Monday and he returns at 8pm on Wednesday night. A total of nearly 60-hours.

And this time, like many of the previous times David is out of town, i am back in my chastity belt.

This time, unlike some of the other previous times, i do NOT have the key.

i have no idea where it is, other than, “in our house,” which isn’t enough to be able to find it.

i don’t have the key because i needed to have some control taken away. In short, i had a privilege taken away.

As of late, we haven’t totally been on-point. We haven’t been totally off-point either. But, like anything not totally cared for properly, it starts to deteriorate. David hasn’t done maintenance spankings in awhile now, and i think he should have but i haven’t told him that. Instead, i have slowly and unintentionally become a bossy-little-brat-wife.

That led up to David getting so mad on Saturday he yelled at me. i probably deserved (some) of it, but some of it, i did not. When he yelled at me, i got incredibly angry. But. i didn’t say a word. Not-A-Single-Word!

In the past, when he’d get mad and yell, i would yell back. But now, i do not. While i could speak my concerns, “speak” is the key word. And because i was ANGRY i knew there was no way i would speak!

At the end of his yelling, he told me if i had a lot more to say (my mouth was what got me in trouble in the first place!) about the topic, i could walk home. You have NO idea just how close i was to doing it! Talking AND walking.

In the past, i would have challenged his words and called his bluff. i would have demanded to get out of the car and started walking. The dumb thing is that would only hurt myself and does nothing for or to him. And in the D/s world i live in now, Sir would actually let me out and i would be walking. Maybe not the entire way, but enough to wish i hadn’t been so stupid too. Because now, David (almost always) says what he means and means what he says.

So i sat in the vehicle in silence. Complete silence.

After about 10’ish minutes he asked me, “are you good?”

i wasn’t entirely sure i was, but i said i was. After i said that and thought about it more, i started to tell him i was NOT ok. But what was i going to say after that, that would make any difference whatsoever. i asked myself, “What can be said that would make a positive difference? What can i say that would end well?”

i couldn’t think of a single thing.

i also couldn’t think of a logical answer to the questions, “if you weren’t ok, then WHY did you say you were? Did you lie to me??”

So i continued to be silent.

After a bit of more silence, i really did become “ok.” And we began the trek to both being back to normal. Not long thereafter, we were indeed ok.

Yesterday (Sunday) when i was talking with David, i asked him why he got so mad and why he yelled at me. i also asked him why he allowed it to get that bad. His answer was simple, “laziness.”

Now today he went out of town and said he was hiding the key because control was something i had a little too much of lately and we needed to get him (not me) back into the proper position of control he so rightfully deserves.

i was a-ok with that. The belt went on, the lock snapped shut, and the key laid in his hand and then it went away.

Shortly thereafter Sir leaned in, kissed me goodbye, and he left.

It took all of an hour and i was ready to be out. Not because i needed it, but because i wanted it.

i wanted the control back. But i shouldn’t have it and it’s good that i don’t. This is good for both of us.

60-total-hours and counting.

Hugs,

Marie

279 – “You are in charge”

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On a whim, we decided to drive up to see our son at his University. It’s Saturday and we didn’t have anything else planned, and neither did our son. We left early, spent the day, and i wrote this now as we are in the car heading home. His University is a 2 1/2 hour drive each way. Not too far, but not too close either.

We are making this trip all in one day.

Our son was happy to see us and we had a good family day. Our son (like most men), wouldn’t actually have admitted that he was lonely and missing us, but as his Momma, i could tell from the way he was talking to me that he was.

We had a good day. My heart is feeling full! (Although almost as instantly, as we leave to go home, a part of me is missing again and i wish i didn’t have to leave him there too! So maybe my heart isn’t “quite” full!!)

Our son really has NO idea of our D/s dynamic at all, which is by design. i suppose he knows i defer to Dad and Dad’s decisions, but he has NO idea of our discipline factor. While in my opinion, it’s good that he knows Dad is in charge and i defer to Dad, our son does NOT need to have a full account of what happens if or when i do NOT properly defer. In other words, our son doesn’t know Dad spanks me.

It’s hard to explain domestic discipline (DD) to grown adults, let alone to an 18-year old kid! i suspect our son would never understand or believe that i truly do consent to being spanked and that this is NOT some warped version of some sort of wife-beating.

David and i tend to have covert comments between us, said in front of our son, that if our son thought about it too much he might figure things out. But i highly doubt it.

As we didn’t have a plan for exactly what we would do, David said early this morning (after we were with our son), “you are in charge today. You can decide what we do.”

Then as i said, “ok Dad, next thing we are going to do is xyz. Let’s go!” David then said, “you are bossy today!”

And i said, “you said i was in charge.”

To which David responded back, “yes, but you can say things in a kinder tone.”

“Why do i need to? If i am in charge….”

“Well, you can do what you want, and use your power the way you see fit, but you may regret that later too.”

Ok, i hear you Sir. i can make decisions but still need to tone it down.

And some time later i heard, “you may have forgotten that you ought to speak a little kinder.”

Another warning. i heeded the warnings and this time, i did tone it down.

i don’t mean to get bossy. i just hate standing around going, “what do you think?”

And then hearing, “I don’t know. What do you think?”

To be followed by, “yah, I’m flexible and I don’t care.”

“And I don’t either.”

“So what are we going to do?”

“I don’t know”

STOP. I WILL DECIDE! This is stupid to go back and forth without moving forward in any way whatsoever!

And that’s when i tend to get bossy.

In my opinion, if you want to be in charge, and make the decisions, i will let you do it every time.

BUT.

When you put me in charge and you don’t want to make decisions…. Then “being bossy” comes with the territory! It’s what you was implied when you said “You are in charge.” To me, that means “you need to decide and just tell us what we need to do.” Aka: bossy!

So. Yes. i got bossy. But not because i necessarily intended to, but instead because of the authority was given to me.

Needless to say, i did manage to simmer down and find a “nice” way to give directions. And we had a great family-together-Saturday today.

i won’t be spanked or disciplined in any way for my bossiness. Yah for me! And we now travel home to see what tomorrow and the coming week holds.

(And i am mostly full of happiness, love, and joy…. But i have to say “mostly” because i had to leave my son behind. i wonder if this leaving part ever gets easier!)

Now i have to sit and stare out of the car front windshield for another 2-hours til we are home…. And to NOT dwell on missing my son already or that my bossy day has come to an end.

Hugs,

Marie

267 – Oh my wow

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So David could’ve easilyyyyyyy just spanked me. But he didn’t.

He could have easilyyyyyyy administered any punishment he wanted! But he didn’t.

Instead, he granted me grace. And time. Time to sort myself out.

Time in the belt, without release, without getting my demands (to produce the key) met. Time to accept things. Time to adjust my attitude. Time… to submit.

After i posted that i was having a bratty, temper-tantrum day, several of you told me how i was wrong. i knew i as wrong, even as it was happening, but i couldn’t seem to stop myself from a downward spiral!

Admittedly after making that post AND your comments, i made a true effort to improve. i took on the “fake it til you make it” attitude.

David noticed. He commented with skepticism about the “sudden improvement.” He was right at that moment, as i WAS faking it. But i figured that to make any effort, even if it was a forced fake one, was better than not trying at all!

i also knew it (probably/ hopefully) wouldn’t take long and i would slip into my submissive groove… where the “make it” part became my reality! Of course, i had to (actually) truly try first!

And boy did it pay off!

David had told me last weekend that he “watched a porn video and saw a non-sexual toy that the girl used in a sexual way…” and that he ordered it for me. i had no idea what that could even mean, let alone actually be.

He had told me then it was a surprise and was to arrive yesterday (Saturday). Well, i had forgot all about it actually. So in my temper-tantrum, bratty self mode, i didn’t even consider the fact i may lose this surprise gift if i kept it up.

After i posted to you all about my stupid attitude, i told him about your comments. He was MORE than pleased to have your total support!

As predicted though, we got into a (small) battle of stubbornness. He told me if i “went swimming in our pool (with him), he would take the belt off.” i already knew the pool temp was low 80’s and the air temp was high 90’s, so the water would feel chilly. i HaTe being CoLd. So instead of taking that bait, i politely said, “No thank you Sir.”

He shrugged his shoulders and with a smile said, “Suit yourself then!”

And again, i questioned if i was right/wrong/ indifferent. This time it WAS a choice he gave me though, and for me, it was a lesser-of-two-evils! Because i was already adjusting my attitude about the belt and submission to Sir, i had gotten “ok” with wearing the belt for whatever duration he prescribed. And i hAtE being cOLd!

The day wore on and he made comments about the belt, my stubbornness, and the possibility (or lack thereof) of me being released.

Like when i needed to get a few things from Walmart and told him i was going there to get them. He inquired about what things that was, and he added, “Do these things you need include a metal bolt cutter (to cut off the lock)?”

And when i was home, i said, “my trip was successful! The metal cutters worked well!”

To which he responded, “yah right! I know better than that!”

Then it came time for Saturday night, fall, college football. Specifically David’s favorite team: LSU. They were playing an in-state school, who they had NEVER played, so it was more of a commemorative game than a competitive one. But we watch LSU whenever it is on!

After the first quarter score resulted in a LSU record for most points scored in any quarter ever, i asked Sir if i could give him a blow job. He said, “not until halftime.”

Midway through Q2, i got on the floor in front of him with lotion and began rubbing his feet in a relaxing massage motion. i was naked, save the belt of course. i pressed his foot against my breasts, while kneading his calf muscles. i was intentionally flirting with Sir.

As the quarter moved along, i did too. Timing my upward movements to coincide with the game clock.

When the clock finally wound down to zero and it was halftime, i was ready to pull his cock from his pants. Instead though, Sir said, “stand up.” i questioned him, “why? It’s halftime (and time for your blow job.)”

He gave me a look that said, “really? Are you seriously going back to this morning’s brattiness?”

The look was enough. i dutifully stood without another word.

He produced the key to the chastity belt, and said, “take it off. Spread your legs, close your eyes. And wait.”

Uhm. Ok.

So i did.

He returned and placed a high intensity vibrating round foam roller massage thingie between my legs, then he guided me backward to the couch, and said, “sit on it until halftime is over.”

i was intrigued and definitely surprised. David saw the joy in my face and said, “after the way you’ve acted today, you probably don’t deserve this surprise. But you did pull yourself together and I already had this planned out.”

He continued, “you know how I really don’t enjoy halftime. I think you can provide something of a better show that I’d prefer to watch.”

It was about 30-seconds in that i thought, “there’s NO way i will NOT orgasm before the end of halftime.” So i told Sir this, to which (thankfully!) he said, “you can have as many orgasms as you want or need. Just don’t move off the toy until I say you can.”

i lost count. i was in orgasm heaven. i went over the edge, with permission, somewhere around 6-8 x’s!

i dare say i did put on a good, live porn show for him. And that he was pleased with my halftime performance!

i didn’t touch myself with my hands, nor did i have penetration… both of which i really wanted! i did beg him to allow me to get off of the roller and to let me climb on his cock. He said no.

At one point, it turned itself off. i may have moved it to press the button, but it was unintentional. So i took it, still between my legs, over to Sir (who was sitting on the couch straight cross from me), and he turned it back on…. And moved it up to Level 3!

That was when i really had most of the orgasms. But since i was close to David, i sat on his couch… with the thingie between my legs pressing firmly on my clit. And i pulled Sir’s shorts off and started giving him that blow job too. i was ravenous in my sucking. What i felt between my legs, was manifested in my mouth and onto his cock! And his member responded!

When halftime was over, so was i! And i was thankful to be done as his pussy and my body were exhausted!

i went to our room and prepared for bed. He came in a bit later and said, “the belt can stay off for tonight. I don’t think you have enough energy now to touch yourself. I think you’ll sleep well now too.”

And he was right.

i suspect the next time i question his authority, i won’t be treated so kindly. i won’t have good surprises, or his grace.

This time though, this is exactly what i absolutely needed…. To feel loved and appreciated. And while he held his ground (and did not produce the key until he wanted to), i was firmly made aware that he did it from a position of love.

It’s made me realize that good things come to those who wait…. Patiently, submissively, and respectfully.

There (hopefully) won’t be a next time where i (stupidly) question his key holder decisions… and merely accept it!

Hugs,

Marie

263 – And just like that, i was spanked. HARD!

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My ass turned a brilliant color of red, hurt to sit, and the next day is STILL tender and bruising.

Yah. So. i knew it was coming. i took it like a champ, but it hurttttttt.

i didn’t know the exact time David’s plane would land back home. i only knew it was around 11a. So i started watching Life 360 for location updates around 10:30. i KNEW i HAD to be in position on time or it would be a double whammy. And i was NOT going there!

Life 360 showed his plane on the ground about 11:05. i watched as his little icon moved slowly, presumably as he walked throughthe airport. Once i knew he was on the road and headed home, i started to get ready.

i was previously told to Assume the Position at the time i knew he had left the airport.

We live about 30’ish minutes from the airport, so i knew the wait would be a test of itself. i went to our bedroom and fully undressed. i pulled the bed covers back. i got the paddle out of its drawer. i grabbed a pillow and set it midway down the bed. i climbed on the bed. i tucked the pillow under my hips, to raise my butt up in the air. i grabbed the paddle, and bent over at my waist. i placed the paddle on my lower back/ upper ass. i tucked my arms under my head. i laid my head on the bed.

And i waited.

And waited.

And i ALMOST fell asleep! Laying on the bed, without anything to do except wait and contemplate my (very) immediate future, caused me to get bored and drift off. Thankfully i did NOT actually fall asleep. i can’t imagine his response had he found me asleep! (Oh my!)

As soon as i heard the garage door open, my heart started racing.

Please Dear God allow me to accept this discipline with grace. Be with David as he delivers this discipline. Lead him in your will. Guide him to know when justice has been served, and without HIS remorse but instead my own.

And he walked in.

“Hello Sir.”

“Hello. I’m glad to see you in position. Are you ready?”

“No, i am not ready, but i know i need to accept this anyway.”

And he picked up the paddle from my lower back/upper butt, and i held my breathe expecting the first swat to land. Instead, it softly touched my bottom. He held it there for what felt like several minutes, but was in reality most likely only several seconds.

i heard, “do you understand why you are here?”

“Yes Sir. i got unnecessarily mad at you and defied your authority, which was disrespectful to you.”

SMACK!

Ouch! Man that hurt. Ok…. Breathe!

As he smacked my butt, my whole body moved forward toward the top of the bed. No warm up today!

Get back in position and relax your muscles. Accept this with grace! You knew it wasn’t going to be pleasant!

“Yes, you are correct.”

He held it against my bottom again. He spoke again, “And was there a better way?”

“Yea Sir. i should have just talked to you.”

Swat, (pause), swat, (pause), SWAT! (and a pause)

Ahhh crap this hurts! Get back in position and relax again!

He said nothing, but as my body moved with the intense smacks he delivered. He gave me enough time to reset and prepare for the next one. Each one was delivered with intensity and intention and purpose.

And we started another round. One. After. Another. i lost count. i tried hard to keep count, but Sir didn’t make me count aloud. Thankfully. As i found it took everything in me to accept each smack, in a respectful manner as i knew i needed to.

This hurt so bad. It is serving its purpose… to correct bad behavior!

After a few more, Sir held the paddle up against my ass again. He must have known i was (unintentionally) holding my breathe as each swat found its mark. This was a chance to recover and be prepared for more. i wasn’t sure if the pause was good or bad really!

After each one, Sir gave me about 5-seconds to reset and release my breathe. And smack!

And release, and Smack!

Then he held the paddle to my ass once again. He spoke again. “Have you learned anything today?”

“Yes Sir. i WON’T be doing this again.”

“Good!”

As he said that, i felt the paddle pull away from the seat of my bottom. As it did, i pulled in my breathe, gritted my teeth, and expected the next swat to make its mark.

But i felt nothing.

Could we be done?!

S-M-A-C-K!

Ouchie…. This was the worst one yet! Wow! This one was intense.

Maybe it was because i wasn’t able to anticipate it so well with the dramatic pause, but i swear Sir added more power to this one for sure!

Even before now, i knew they would get progressively worse too!

i felt several more too!

My resistance was lessening. i was resigning and relaxing into it. This is usually when i start to tear up and the water starts leaking out of my eyes. i felt a few more spanks collide with my ass and i could tell the tears were starting to form.

David knew i was resigned to accept it now. He knew i was feeling the remorse. He also knew how red my ass was already showing too.

He held the paddle against my ass again and asked me, “Do you have anything more to say?”

“Yes Sir. i am sorry.”

With that, he pulled the paddle back and i prepared for another. But it didn’t come.

Instead, he pulled my upper body up from the mattress and into a hug. He kissed my lips and said, “I love you and your submission. All is done.”

i hugged him right back. And i reciprocated my love for my Sir.

And he said, “let’s go enjoy lunch out and do some shopping.”

i didn’t know what shopping he had in mind, but i was feeling incredibly humble and wasn’t about to say a word about that. i said, “thank you Sir for loving me enough to lead and discipline me.”

i wore a cotton dress to lunch. i knew i needed the soft fabric against my burning bottom. The dress was lowwww cut and showed off my cleavage in a polite, but sexy way. i wore nothing underneath. In fact, besides my sandals, the only other thing i put on was my collar. The collar was to remind me who i am (and not earn a repeat visit to the Position any too soon!)

We went out to lunch.

The seat of my Sir’s truck felt like it was on fire. It was SO hot! Or maybe it was the heat radiating from my ass and trapped between the cotton dress and the leather seat that was causing the problem.

When we got to the restaurant, i requested a booth, where the cushioned bench would be so much better than the wood chairs. Sir laughed but agreed. All throughout lunch he made references to my “hot ass.” i knew he wasn’t making flirtatious comments either.

When we left there, we went to the sex toy shop, Adam & Eve. i had no idea his “shopping” would be for sex toys! He found a few things i would not have bought, mainly for cost! One thing he got was a new whipping tool. Not sure what to call it but i will have to find a way to describe it to you at some point, after it tears up my ass no doubt!

Another thing he found was a rabbit vibratory that had an electric shock function too. i have never owned any electric shock toys. Wasn’t sure if this would be good or bad! As Sir handed me the toys he said to go check out, and i did.

i have NO doubt the two cashiers noticed my low cut dress, my lack of a bra, and my collar. They spoke to me politely enough, but admittedly much of their conversation was directed to Sir. They explained that the electric shock function works “differently inside a body, compared to being on the outside. When you have this inside her, touch the button to start the electricity function. It will cause her muscles to contract where she will reach orgasm much quicker.”

He said, “good to know.” And he smiled at me. As he said this to them, i wondered, “will i get to orgasm or will he stop it just short?!”

After we paid, we came home.

He told me to get undressed and lay on the couch. He used the new electric toy on my needy pussy and he allowed me to orgasm… over and over again! That new electric shock delivered, just as the ladies said it would. i was in multiple orgasm, subspace heaven! i lost count for the second time in one day.

The day started on a humbling note and ended on a super high note. As i laid in bed going off to sleep, i felt really special and happy, despite my rear end still throbbing and showing signs of one continuous bruise. My badge of honor that i was pleased to accept!

That was all yesterday.

Today i was allowed to give Sir a blow job, where i got super horny. i so badly wanted to climb on his cock and ride it like nobody’s business, but he did not allow that. He stopped me from it, saying he knew i was thinking selfish (get an orgasm out of it) thoughts. He was not wrong!

And but a short few minutes later, he wanted to “try out the new whip toy.”

i knew i wasn’t in trouble, but i wasn’t thrilled to have my still-bruised-and-still-tender-bottom spanked. i didn’t complain though. Instead, i leaned over the side of the bed and spread my legs wide. He used this new tool to turn my ass a bright red! It stung as it collided with my ass. He didn’t spank me too long, but it was long enough too. i think Sir enjoyed it. i may be seeing more of this thing, that i’m not sure how to describe. Maybe i need to take a picture, post it, and ask you how to describe it or tell me it’s name!

This all made me SO wet! i don’t quite know why, but every time i am spanked my puss gets sopping sloppy wet. (Yesterday i was dripping down my own leg!)

But he did NOT touch me. NO orgasms today!

When he didn’t allow me to ride his cock, nor did he touch my pussy after he spanked my ass, i knew an orgasm was NOT in my immediate future so i went and put the chastity belt on for tonight. i needed to save me from myself! As i came out of the closet, Sir held his hand out and i placed the key in it. He smirked and said, “I like it!”

After he read in his book, he just now turned out the light and with a half laugh told me to “enjoy your frustration tonight.”

i pouted and said, “i don’t think i will Sir.”

He laughed and said, “I will!”

In a joking tone, i poked at him and said, “i think you rather seem to like having me frustrated Sir.”

And he responded back, “I definitely do!”

One of the worst spankings i have had to date and the first time to receive two in two days too, even though the second one was a bit of a maintenance type than a discipline type.

And i am frustrated tonight, but still proud of who i am. i am His submissive wife, and i have accepted all this with the grace i prayed for!

Hugs,

Marie

262 – Today i am mad.

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i got very mad at Sir tonight. And tomorrow, i will be spanked for it.

i said NO! to Sir. i know i don’t do that. But i did. Intentionally too!

Because i got that mad at him.

So we have streaming tv. And his dad, my father in law (FIL), sometimes dials on and watches specific shows on our service. When he does that though, it turns off what we are watching.

Well Sir is out of town and it happened while i was watching a tv show. i got a message that said, “You’re watching tv on too many devices in too many locations.” It gives me a choice to click on continue watching or cancel. If i continue, it will knock my FIL off again. And while i could do that, he will get that message and hit “continue watching” himself and it will knock me off where we play a tv version of ping pong.

So i got pissed and i told David so. i said, “this is stupid that we share tv service with your dad. We can afford to pay for our own service, and so can he. i should be able to watch what i want, when i want.”

i got a message back that said, “CHILL OUT!” Well, i didn’t.

And while David showed me an alternative way to get the show on that i wanted, i told him, “i got it on now, but i am still mad. This is stupid!”

To which he said, “well tell him.”

Now i wasn’t mad at my FIL, but at David. David gave him the password and he used it. My FIL didn’t do anything wrong.

So i said, “No. i told you.”

i waited.

i saw he read it.

About 5-minutes later, i got a response.

It said, “Are you telling me no?”

And i wrote (very boldly and confidently), “Yes Sir. i did. Because i am that mad.”

He wrote, “ok. When you see I’m leaving the airport (to drive to our house), you will Assume The Position.”

We have Life 360 app where i can see where he is and vice versa. i will have to watch the app to see when he’s leaving though as the airport is not a saved place. Only the saved places will trigger an automatic notification to me and he knows this. So he’s making me watching the app to know when he’s leaving the airport, in addition to the spanking now too.

Fine. i don’t care!

“Yes Sir.”

And then i got another message that read, “And you’ll wear the (chastity) belt from now until I leave the airport tomorrow to. You will not orgasm at all!”

Fine. i don’t care about that either!

“Yes Sir.”

And i put it on, even though i contemplated not doing it. While he won’t know exactly when i put it on or take it off, he will know if i don’t wear it. The belt leaves indentation marks on my skin that would be missing if i were to not wear it. The indentations are not permanent, and the belt doesn’t hurt but it does have to be tight enough to be effective. So it presses against my waist line, and leaves marks. i have noticed there seems to be a correlation between how long i wear the belt to just how long the marks stay. So i almost have to wear it for the duration prescribed if i am to take it off when Sir leaves the airport (and for it to be long enough to have the marks still be present when he gets home).

And now we aren’t exactly talking. i’m not sure if it’s a lull in the conversation and communication, or if he’s that mad that he’s not speaking to me. Although i am pretty certain it’s just a lull. Either way, right now, i am happy for the break to recoup and regain my composure.

Tomorrow’s spanking won’t be easy, or light, or maintenance. It’s going to hurt. And i am ok with that… at least right now anyway. i’ll wait to see if or how badly i regret this tomorrow!

UPDATE:

i did discover, even last night, that Sir was speaking to me and said good night and that he loves me. (Just doesn’t love my anger!).

We talked more and i told him that i was mad at him, not his dad, which is why i told him NO that i would NOT tell his dad not to use our service and that he could pay for it himself.

To which, David started typing….. i saw the little bubbles. i got a bit anxious at his response as i was entirely sure that i should NOT have probably revisited this whole topic in the first place, but rather let it be what it was to be. But then also, i was openly telling him how mad i was and (while not in so many words…..) was also saying how wrong i thought David was in doing this.

Then i saw his response.

“In all your anger, have you forgotten all the money they’ve given us with (XY and Z). Not to mention, when I share codes with your family, you don’t seem to think that’s problematic. I don’t think what I’ve done is so egregious that it warrants your anger or defiance. You do not need to ever tell me No like that again.”

Ugh. He’s SO right! i have forgotten.

While i don’t necessarily agree with how he’s chosen to be kind and repay their graciousness, he’s not wrong at all. i am.

And i apologized. And i told him he is right.

To which he didn’t respond. But he didn’t need to. We both know where we both stand.

And i also know that a regretful, remorseful, raw butt will ensue. And to that end, we both know i will accept it, as it is appropriate to do so.

Ugh. Now i am dreading tomorrow….. but….

It is what it is now.

Hugs,

Marie