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227 – Party (and Maintenance) Friday

Written by Marie on . Posted in Maintenance, Spanking, Submission. No Comments on 227 – Party (and Maintenance) Friday

S-U-C-C-E-S-S! Our Christmas party was a grand success indeed.

Ultimately it was! Of course, not without some trouble during the day… naturally no day is ever really perfectly organized.

And today was no exception.

We started the day with a Maintenance Friday (MFer!) of grand proportions. David had promised it would be a more difficult maintenance spanking, and it was.

At first, David said he was too busy and maybe we wouldn’t have time for it. It didn’t take but a minute though for me to stress out about rather small things and for David to become completely aware that indeed a rather intense maintenance session was needed.

i was setting out all the alcohol for the event, and it was much. i felt compelled to organize it by type and was stressed about the exact place,ent of it. Thinking of it now seems rather silly actually, but in the moment, it was important to me.

As i was preparing for the party, i was doing so nude in an attempt to be completely exposed … and calm. When i am naked, i have no physical place to hide. Literally. And usually, it keeps my minds calm too. But…. Not on Friday morn.

As i was in a tizzy about the alcohol’s organization, David saw me and asked what i was doing. When I told him, he became rather perturbed. He said, “Maintenance is sorely needed! Go get on the bed now. I will be there when I’m good and ready!”

i kept organizing the alcohol though, and David grabbed up my hand, and looked at me square in the eye and said quite sternly, “Go get on the damn bed NOW!”

So i did.

He left me there for many long minutes. i said prayers as i waited. i asked God to make me calm, to bring David’s hand to help that too, and to let me relax and accept the spanking as i needed to.

And i did. i accepted it. In truth, i needed it. Spankings ground me. They bring me to THAT moment. i can’t mentally or physically be anywhere else. It causes all other stress, thoughts, angst to evaporate. i was actually rather happy to have it.

As he spanked my bottom quite red, in no time at all, he talked to me. He was saying things that required me to focus on his words rather than the intensity of the swats he was delivering.

He said things like, “is there any reason to stress about alcohol?”

And, “You will be calm today, won’t you?”

And, “Does it matter if the alcohol, or anything else, is not organized precisely?”

And, “you have co-workers who can read to find their own alcohol preferences, correct?”

And, “you’ll stop acting like a crazed woman now, won’t you?”

And, “if you do NOT calm yourself, I will bring you right back here tonight and spank your ass for all to hear, even during the party. Do you want that?”

And, “Do you believe that I’ll spank you for all your co-workers to hear?”

And finally, “will you be a more calm, better woman now?”

And with that response, my ass was stinging and bright red. Tears were forming, but not flowing.

He sat me upright, kissed my lips and said, “Now. Will you my good girl today?”

While many of the questions required a yes or a no, and i had to focus on the question at hand to answer properly while in the midst of each swat hitting my ass with extreme intentional intensity, the last question was clear and i answered just as clearly…..

“Yes Sir.”

With that, we continued to prepare for the party. After lunch, the tenuous started building again. David said, “it’s time. I can tell your stress is rising. And with that, you need to be reminded to be submissive. Go put the plug in now!”

So i did. It went in quick, but not without any pain. Sometimes it feels bigger than it is. And of course, of all days, this one it was feeling particularly large! So on top of my ass being turned red on the outside earlier, now it was about to be turned red on the inside too.

i was able to get comfortable with it in, but i knew the night would be long too. Thankfully, it was no time at all and we were off to the restaurant to pick up the food that we had ordered. As we drove, David intentionally went quickly over the speed bumps. When i mentioned how intense the plug felt he said, “that’s good. It will remind you to be submissive even more!”

When we got to the restaurant, the food was NOT ready. In fact, the restaurant seemed confused about the order at all. When David produced the emailed receipt and details of the order, they immediately set about getting the food started. But the timing of the party start time was looming large and the amount of food we needed, made me think we simply didn’t have time. People would be arriving and we wouldn’t even be home!

i said absolutely nothing. But David knows me well enough to know i was am absolute mess inside! With a plug inside and knowing i was to be submissive, i was trying desperately to keep myself in check.

At that moment, i was grateful for the plug! i decided to squeeze my anal muscles on the plug, and release immediately once again. I decided to do it over and again as a reminder to be calm, and to remain Submissive!

David looked at the restaurant staff and said, “she needs a drink.” And he proceeded to take charge of the order and me. He ordered a large, frozen strawberry margarita. When they sat it in front of me, he looked at me and said, “the food will be ready in about 20 minutes. We have plenty of time. We are here early for this express purpose. You need to trust me on this. And you also need to drink this drink in its entirety before we leave here.”

i said just two mere word. “Yes Sir.”

And i sat and drank. And let him be in charge.

Things ended up working out exactly like David said. We were back home in plenty of time. We enjoyed the party thoroughly.

My ass was filled for the duration of the party. i can’t lie, the alcohol did as much for my insides as the plug did. The alcohol allowed the plug to feel so much nicer too! Both the alcohol and the plug allowed me to be the best submissive wife all night long. i stood by David’s side, spoke with kindness, refused to be argumentative, and was calm.

As i climbed into our bed at the end of the night, he praised my ability to be calm. And submissive. Then David touched me sexually. He brought me to orgasm almost immediately. i relished in the feeling as it washed over me thoroughly.

As we turned out the lights he said, “I am sure this was a successful day. We need to do this exact thing every time in the future. Would you agree?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Good. Next party will be so much better now. Sleep well. I love you.”

“I love you too Sir.”

And the lights were turned off and we slept quite well.

See…. It turned out better than the last party! All in all…. an amazing day!

Hugs,

Marie

224 – A-L-W-A-Y-S is a big word.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Submission. No Comments on 224 – A-L-W-A-Y-S is a big word.

A-L-W-A-Y-S.

i have a tendency to touch stuff, including stuff i should not.

Once when we were in an art museum in England, where there were tons of very old art pieces dating back many centuries…. i touched one. Despite ALL the signs, the guards in each room and the fact the oils from my finger could ruin a piece forever… i did it. i touched one. We were nearly thrown out of the museum and David was quite annoyed (ok, angry!) with me, but i did it. i touched it. i just felt like i had to! So i did!

i never buy clothing online because i can’t feel what it feels like before spending money on it. When i shop, i touch more stuff than i even realize just to know the texture. i have found myself doing it all the time, even when i am not buying something like clothing. For example, i walked through Walmart the other day and had to pass the men’s clothing department. i ran my hands along the displays of men’s shorts as i passed them, despite the fact i was not going to be buying them at all.

And you all should know by now that i touch my body including parts i should not. And it gets me in trouble fairly frequently, as you know as well!

But touching myself is not exactly what i am wanting to talk about now.

Whatever i wear for the day, i touch it regularly too. Like for example with my earrings or necklace that i wear on any given day, i tend to fiddle with them all throughout the day. i don’t do it always conscientiously, in fact, frequently it is not.

As i touch, i sometimes then think about how or when it came to be. So whatever i have on for the day, tends to be a very tangible reminder to me of anything and everything all day long.

i was talking to David about how much having something tangible on (or IN) my body serves as a constant reminder to me ….of places, events, or activities from where or how i received it.

He then said to me, “you need to A-L-W-A-Y-S wear something that reminds you of my submission.“

i said, “A-L-W-A-Y-S?”

And he said, “A-L-W-A-Y-S!”

We then talked about what that “something” is or what it should be. He said, “the something should be your collar, your bracelet, an anal plug, a vibratory, a dildo, or your chastity belt. You can take your pick. But you should A-L-W-A-Y-S wear something.”

A-L-W-A-Y-S.

So today.. i wore my collar. i will tell you more about it in another post and what it means and how it came to be.

But today… every time i touched it, whether consciously or subconsciously, i was reminded of it and exactly what it means…. Which it ultimately means that i belong to David…. As his good, submissive wife.

A-L-W-A-Y-S.

Hugs,

Marie

223 – December Blinders

Written by Marie on . Posted in Marriage, My Dominant Sir, my submissiveness, Submission. No Comments on 223 – December Blinders

December is supposed to be the “most wonderful season of all,” at least according to all the Christmas season songs. i find it can be the most hectic and busiest time of all.

And when i get busy… i get stressed…. And the way i deal with stress is to get laser focused on the task at hand, get it done, and checked off the list. Kinda like a race horse with blinders on, i put on my blinders and get focused.

Blinders, as shown in the photo, on a race horse is done to allow it to just focus on what’s straight ahead: the finish line.

As i was searching for the perfect race horse blinder photo, i saw these words on a website that described why a race horse wears the blinders:

Horses wear blinders in order to keep them focused on the job in front of them, not on any external disturbances such as cars, sirens, fireworks, or horse-drawn carriages that would otherwise cause the horse to spook and possibly cause damages or harm to itself.

That first sentence…. “Focused on the job in front of them,” resonates with me. While i do NOT wear actual blinders (come on peeps, i am not that crazy…. Or am i? Lol), that’s how my mind gets when i get stressed with a to-do list a mile long… focused.

Well….. THAT is when i am not at my most-best-submissive self either.

And THAT leads to trouble.

i mean, i have things to do. Who has time to slow down, chose my words properly, deliver the words with correct tone, and say “Sir.” That is all superfluous. Right?? W-R-O-N-G!

So yes, my friends, i went from being the most-submissive wife last month (while being denied O’s) to being on-a-mission to get stuff done and forgetting to be my husband’s submissive wife this month.

NOT a recipe for success.

Yesterday was one such day. We had several of my husband’s coworkers to our house for a Christmas party. Beforehand, as we were setting up, we were working together to get stuff set out and doing well. Until we weren’t.

David asked me, “should we move these chairs?” as he was referring to the dining room chairs set around the table that was now repurposed for the food in a buffet line and wouldn’t be used as a seating/earring table.

So i said, “where?” As in, “ok, let’s move them… but i’m not sure where would be best… just back away or to a useful place? What did you have in mind?”

What David heard was, “And where would you think we should put them? There’s no logical place, and it’s not necessary, people can move the, if they get in the way… we have other things to do, so ……”

Again… laser focused, no time for excess words…. And … yah, in trouble i was!

He was immediately angry. He looked at me and said, “When I make a suggestion, it’s important. You do not need to question me. Either you’ll be submissive and do as I say or we won’t do this at all. Do I make myself clear?”

i was in shock honestly. i didn’t understand what the problem was actually. Here’s what went through my head……

i said, “where?” What was there that i was questioning? Why is he mad? i thought i was being helpful, submissive, and getting things done. What does he mean by “you’ll be submissive..or we won’t do this at all.”….. being submissive is who i am, not an air i put on. i can’t NOT do it. Does he mean he won’t be my Sir? He wasn’t saying we wouldn’t be married and we won’t do MARRIAGE at all, was he?”

I WAS CONFUSED.

So when he said, “Do I make myself clear?” My ultimate thought was “ NO, not really!”

Thankfully, what came out of my mouth next was, “YES.”

But…. Of course…. i didn’t say, “Sir.” Nor did i respond any too quickly. There was a distinct pause in my response (see above for all the things i was thinking about!! That took a hot minute!)

That’s when he said, “your response makes your position clear.”

And he stood there staring at me, expecting a better response and more words to come from my mouth. Of which, i strongly debated if i should stay silent OR spew out all the paragraph of thoughts that went through my mind! (See above again.)

i knew if i said anything at all, we would be in a fight. I also knew he was expecting more from me.

Oh-good-grief. What a disastrous start to this party! Now i was just annoyed.

And at that very moment, i was saved by the bell. Literally, our door bell rang. Our first guest arrived. And he went to answer it. Thankful for the reprieve, the party was officially started. (It had to get better from here, right?? YES it did!)

i honestly figured all would be done and forgotten then as we entertained, ate, drank, and hours of conversation passed. But at the end, after all the guests left and we were cleaning up, David looked at me and said, “so…. Tell me what you were thinking when the door bell rang.”

OH CRAP. Really?? Ok, fine, i will tell you. But you just TOLD me to tell you. i can’t together in trouble for speaking my mind when i was told to, right??

So i told him. Just like i told you above.

And no, i didn’t get in trouble. Nor did we get in a fight. It’s probable it would’ve done one of those (trouble or fight), had I said it earlier, because there was emotion involved. However, by the time the words flowed, the emotion had subsided on both sides, which was a good thing!

Instead of trouble, he put his arms around my neck, leaned down and kissed me, and said, “I guess my suggestion should have been worded differently, but so should your response. Would you agree?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Good girl. Now let’s go to sleep and do better tomorrow, shall we?”

“Yes Sir.”

And it ended well. But….. i need to take the blinders OFF some too. i don’t need to be so laser focused on perfection, getting to the finish line, or getting everything done even!

That same horse website mentioned previously said this about “why doesn’t the horse wear blinders all the time?”…

If worn all the time, however, blinders would get in a horse’s way. He may not spot the cool stream to his left or the tasty mound of hay to his right. He could run through a wide meadow unable to quench his thirst or satisfy his hunger.

i need to remember to slow down, look around, and remember who i am….

David’s submissive wife.

(Or else next time i likely WILL run into real trouble!)

Hugs,

Marie

218 – Being naked is not being a nudist

Written by Marie on . Posted in Orgasm Control, Orgasm Denial, Submission, Submissive Wife. No Comments on 218 – Being naked is not being a nudist

Having no clothing on is such an exposed feeling. There’s nowhere to hide, all your skin flaws on display, and you have a choice of standing tall and being proud….. or cowering.

Lately i decided to revisit the being naked thing. i tried it once before but for a variety of reasons including, me getting too cold, our son, practicality, and my preference, it didn’t last too long. But in the past two weeks, i’ve been trying it again. And i am starting to really love it.

i choose to stand tall. (And not to cower.. or to cover!)

When i first started it, it was just to sleep. i have slowly extended that timing to include morning coffee wake up time. Last night being naked started earlier in the evening with time in the hot tub, and just continued through tv time and sleeping.

When i first started experimenting with it, i simply pretended i had clothes on. Even though i didn’t.

i can tell you Sir loved it. He loved seeing every bit of me at the blink of his eye. He held my boobs and squeezed my nipples, his favorite, frequently. He also slapped at my ass and felt me up to see how wet i was, or to make me wetter!

That was in the beginning of it. Now though, and like last night, it wasn’t even really (much) of a thing. He had clothes on, i did not, and we sat on the couch and watched tv as if it were very completely normal activities. Of which, it is now becoming normal.

And at some point along the way, it has became a mental relief for me. Being naked has become liberating. To be free and have nothing on suddenly became easy and my preferred go-to. i am now seeking out opportunities to be naked.

And then i put the clothes back on. The weekend comes to an end, our son materializes (let me tell you that Seniors in HS don’t materialize often!), the door bell rings, or some other reality event occurs…. and it’s time to go back to the world… with clothes on.

i will always wear my clothes proudly, when it’s required too though. And i’ll look for the first opportunity to shed them!

i now chose to sleep naked all the time too as clothes are absolutely not required to sleep in since our teen son never just materializes to climb in bed with Mommy and Daddy at all hours of the night anymore the way he used to when he was younger.

Now i look forward to the time i go to our room and am able to undress. It is wonderful to have your whole body touch the sheets freely and to not ever be tangled in cloth as you turn from side to side.

Nudists say it’s not sexual to be naked. And maybe in some settings that’s true, but it’s not true for me and Sir. i think when everyone is naked, say at a nudist resort or at a kink party, it might not be sexual. But all other times: it is. It is VERY Sexual!

While we all have the same parts as the next person of our same gender (okay, seriously there’s only TWO options… pick one and identify already! Just saying!), when it is all covered up it is easily ignored. But when it is exposed, our eyes dart straight to the previously forbidden sections and it is attractive! To our eyes, to our brain, and especially then our own private parts that come awake, it all becomes very sexual! At least until naked and exposed is the norm, in which case, no one cares.

When i am naked, i am the only one. Sir wears whatever he wants and that’s understandable, but i wear what i want and that i am finding he prefers…. which is nothing. And that’s understandable too.

To have your beautiful submissive wife strip off her clothes simply because you told her to, is indeed all very sexual.

Because we are still in NO-orgasm-VEMBER, he has been touching me just enough to get me to the very edge of orgasm. And then he stops. Of course, me being naked a lot makes this that much simpler too.

When we were in the hot tub earlier, he finger fucked me three different times. When i get near orgasm, i subconsciously bite my bottom lip. When i did it in the hot tub, he looked at me very sternly and said, “NO orgasm!” And he kept going.

It was NOT long and i looked him straight in the eyes and said, “Please Sir….” (with the rest being implied…”Can i cum?”). He again did not stop, but rather amped it up further by sticking a finger in my back hole along with another finger in my front hole and said, “Absolutely NOT! Do NOT orgasm!”

And when i then begged, “Please Sir may i cum? And if not, would you please stop?”

He responded with, “ok. I’ll stop. Because you asked.” And he laughed. i did not.

He repeated variations of this twice more. Where he finger fucked me until i begged him to stop.

i won’t lie, my ability to listen to his words (NO ORGASM!) and deny the release is becoming stronger than ever. Soon, or maybe already now, i will be to the place where i can cum (or NOT) on his command. i wonder if this is his goal or a side bonus that has come along the way!

i smiled at him and he laughed. i knew he was enjoying playing with me — both physically AND mentally —- and for that reason, i enjoyed it too. Although i can’t deny, i was seriously frustrated at my own sexual denial, i was very happy that he was happy.

Not long after, we got out of the tub and dried off. He dressed. i did not. And we watched tv, as casually as ever.

When it came time for bed, he said, “do you need to be locked up tonight?”

i responded, “if you think so, then yes.”

He said, “now that I’ve played with you to the edge and we are back home again, do you think you can control yourself tonight?”

i said, “yes.”

He said, “ok. Then let’s try it. But remember, you are NOT allowed to orgasm and because of that, it’s good if you just don’t touch it at all too.”

“Yes Sir.”

So no belt tonight. But still in chastity. Let’s face it, chastity doesn’t have to include a physical belt (although it makes it mentally easier when one does exist!)

And truthfully it is good. Both the belt AND being naked is good. i like both of them now. It makes my Sir happy and i am starting to see a change in my thoughts from “I MUST ORGASM” turning into “i must do things that make him smile.”

So if he’s happy, then i am too! i chose joy! i chose to stand tall, not to cower OR to cover (except when required for life or told to cover my puss with chastity!)

Here’s to being naked much of the time…. And being in a chastity belt a lot too… and to completing two full weeks of NO-orgasm-vember … while being happy!

[While in the hot tub, Sir said, “yah know, I rather like the way you are more attentive now when you aren’t orgasming all the time. I’m thinking another month may be good. Maybe waiting to give you an O until Christmas would be an excellent idea……”. And my response?? i said, “if you think it would be good, then i am on board with your decision.” And we both knew i meant it. A mere 14-days ago i would NOT have said it, let alone meant it! Time will tell. But i truly am getting to be OK with the journey, not just the destination!]

Hugs,

Marie

215 – My 50th Birthday Gifts

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, Forced Orgasm, Orgasm Control, Submission. No Comments on 215 – My 50th Birthday Gifts

My 50th birthday is on Thanksgiving this year. November 25. Next week. Fast approaching. In the month of NO-orgasm-VEMBER.

It’s unclear and Sir is still undecided if i will be allowed to orgasm on my birthday or not.

Last week we were talking about what gifts i would like to receive for my birthday. My immediate response was, “An explosive orgasm.”

To which he responded, “what else?”

i said, “a new purse please Sir.”

And he said, “A new purse it shall be.”

When i asked, “what about the orgasm?” his response was, “I’m undecided about that. I asked what gifts you’d like to receive, and your orgasm is definitely a gift I could give, but then again… what month still remains on the calendar?”

At first i wasn’t sure if that was a rhetorical question or not but something told me i was supposed to respond, so i said, “November Sir.”

And his only word in response was, “E-X-A-C-T-L-Y.”

And that was the end of that discussion.

That will be the last we will discuss that. i am certain. And that’s ok. The gift of orgasm is indeed his to give, and i will wait until it is allowed. While it has now been TWO WEEKS since my last O, i accept it isn’t up to me when the next one happens.

i won’t lie, because it’s officially still NO-orgasm-vember, i kinda do NOT want David to allow it. But on the flip side, it IS my birthday and i only turn 50 ONCE, so i really DO want it! (And did i already mention….it’s already been TWO-WHOLE-WEEKS since my last O. And i don’t remember the last time i went this long……. Like ever! And still almost another week…. Geez!)

If you think about it, your sexual pleasure and happiness truly IS a gift from your partner, and isn’t something you should feel entitled to. Always. In all sexual relationships, including vanilla ones.

But of course in most relationships, if you don’t get it from your partner, you seek it elsewhere…. By your own masturbating hand OR another partner OR both., because you feel entitled to it.

Admittedly, sometimes i can be the same way. But most of the time, i do indeed see it as a GIFT. (And after more than two weeks, it will be a BIG gift when i get to feel that pleasure again!)

What would YOU do if you were my Sir? Would you allow me to orgasm on my 50th or no??!!?

i thought of what i think is the perfect compromise…. (And i already told Sir about this, to which he laughed.. cuz he knows me THAT well!)

i suggested he make me wear Glory. And he makes me suck him hard. After which, he uses my ass hole to his pleasure. (There’s a big hole through the belt that allows him/me/anyone all access to that hole).

i suggested he fuck me hard and fast with that back hole, while i am on all 4’s. Neither of us touch my clit or pussy as it would be all locked up nice and tight!

But….

If i can orgasm without being touched AND while being locked in chastity then i can do so. Otherwise, no!

As i said before… he laughed. He knows i’d orgasm. Easily. Especially now when i am SO much in heat and need it!

He then said, “nice try!”

He then said, “by the time I allow you to orgasm, you could likely cum on my command without touching you anywhere at all!”

He THEN added, “you do realize we didn’t start this No-orgasm-vember on the first? You do realize I could chose to extend this into December in order to get the full 30-days I feel I am entitled to receive?” (There’s that word “entitled” again! But in this case, i think he IS entitled to use the word and to feel the emotion. i willingly submit to him, making things like my O fall under his purview!)

All this makes me think NO, i will NOT be orgasming on Thanksgiving…… aka, my 50th birthday!

And maybe not for awhile into December too!

So i’ll ask it again… if YOU held the gift of my orgasm in the palm of your hand, would you give it to me on:

A) Nov 25, my 50th birthday

B) Nov30, end of No-vember

C) Dec 6th, officially 30-days from the last O, OR

D) some other date at your discretion, to keep me guessing

???

Hugs,

Marie