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170 – First Spanking of 2021.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Exercise and Chocolate, Punishment, Spanking, Submission. No Comments on 170 – First Spanking of 2021.

The first spanking of this year was not for maintenance. It was a discipline spanking and happened on only the 5th day of the year!

It was in the morning while i was still waking up. i was sitting on the couch, drinking coffee and surfing the internet, when Sir started talking about the day’s agenda. He said, “I have a yoga instructor coming to the house for a 1-on-1 session.”

You should know that since April and the original Nationwide quarantine for COVID, he has been working from home and it works quite nicely for all. so he has a lot more flexibility in his schedule than i do with me working at an office. (Did you get the pun there… “flexibility” while being a post about yoga… ok, maybe just my silliness at work. Carryon….)

Now it was an innocuous statement all by itself, but it made me mad. He had quite literally never spoke about yoga until this moment, with the exception of (about) 5-years ago [pre-DD] when i was talking some yoga classes and asked him to go with me. He went twice and swore he’d never do it again as it was just not for him. So this was a shocking statement really that not only had he been thinking about it, but decided, contacted, and scheduled a 1-on-1 session too… without ever mentioning it to me.

Now he’s not required to tell me everything, nor am i to him. But of course, it seemed to me that he would have since we’ve been starting to try to be in better shape, exercise more, and lose weight together. AND he has quite literally sworn off yoga in the past.

i am still working to be at my goal weight for my 50th bday later this year. But with it being winter-season, it gets dark too early in the evening and i don’t like walking alone in the dark. i have a healthy fear of bad things happening in the dark outside while alone. So i have been (practically) begging David to walk with me at night after work since about October. Many days he’s relented, but some days he says no, making it a real challenge for me.

Somewhere around a month ago though, we have officially started walking together after work most evenings probably due to my relentless begging for him to go. And of course now with the New Year, everyone’s resolution seems to always be to lose weight, including his.

So now he is going to do a yoga-exercise-class without me???

Can you now see why i was immediately upset? Well, he didn’t. i said nothing out loud at all though. He had no idea i was triggered and now quite upset.

He kept talking and the next thing he said, that required my response about 2-minutes later was, “Should i make you some breakfast when i make make my own this morning?”

And unfortunately for me, i wasn’t able to respond in a positive way but instead i did so in a very snarky tone and words. My words were appropriate for my attitude at that moment……

i said, “Why? So i can go to the office and let the food just sit on my ass while you work out and lose weight without me??”

And that did it.

He said, “Go Assume the Position.” With the calmest voice you can imagine, which was almost disconcerting in and of itself.

Well, i happen to have been drafting a post to you at the time so i wanted to finish my thought and save it before going. He noticed the 1-minute hesitation and said in a raised and getting agitated voice, “N-O-W!”

So i did. Under protest. And definitely with annoyance and anger in my head and on my face and in the way i stomped to the bedroom.

When he came in i was in position, including with the paddle resting in the small of my back. But he didn’t pick it up. Instead, he opened the nightstand and pulled out the cane.

Yep. For Christmas i bought him a set of canes. We have never had or used canes before so this was going to be different. We both kinda wanted to try them, but it wasn’t until a good sub-friend helped me figure out which one(s) to buy that i decided to surprise him with it for Christmas.

When he opened the set of 3, he smiled and said, “this will make Friday’s more exciting for awhile!” And yet, this discipline spanking was the first he was trying it out.

When i felt the cane smack the first time, i cringed and flinched. He didn’t even hit me hard, but it wasn’t expected either. He had left the paddle in the small of my back and after i flinched he said, “Don’t let the paddle move! It stays in its place!”

And in my head i thought, “yeah right! That ain’t happening! And in fact when it falls, what are the consequences??” But thankfully i didn’t smart off out loud about that!

i felt the cane hit several times and it wasn’t without much actual force, but i sure did hear the distinct “swish” of the cane’s whipping motion in the air before it collided with my ass too.

In NO time at all, i was feeling the sting! He said, “And what’s with the attitude? I offer to make you breakfast and you smart off??”

S-T-I-N-G!

Ouch!

He said, “I asked a question and I expected an answer!”

S-T-I-N-G! again….. OUCH again!

i spat out the words, “you made me mad announcing you are doing a 1-on-1 yoga session without me, when you know i am trying so hard to get in shape and lose weight, especially this year with my 50th coming up. And you don’t even like yoga!”

S-T-I-N-G! a 3rd time again….. and a serious OUCH now!

i came off the bed and was more-or-less standing upright. The paddle fell to the floor. i mentally cringed. Now what?? i already feel the sting of that cane sooo much! And in truth, we both know he hasn’t even used it with much force or repetition!

He stood there and waited. He said nothing. i resumed the position. He said, “THAT was a good girl getting back into position, despite having not kept the paddle in place.”

i knew then that having lost the paddle would be a forgiven transgression. Now only to finish with the first transgression!

He said, “I was intending to find someone who seemed good for both of us and then to have group/family classes once a week. But I know I am less agile than you so I figured most any instructor would work for you! I expected you’d be happy that I got this sorted out without having to bother you with the details.”

S-T-I-N-G! a 4th and most painful yet. Not sure if it’s cuz the sting-factor is building or he used more force. He definitely has moved around on my ass and upper thighs, but man this cane has a biting sting! And yes, i came off the bed… again. And again, i resumed the position after catching my breath.

He continued, “are you still mad?”

Yes! I am! I see your point, but that doesn’t change my mind that you could’ve told me all this before I found myself in this position.

He smacked again and said, “Seriously? Are you not going to answer me? Again??”

i said in a calm tone, “Yes, i am still mad, but i am trying not to be.”

He said, “I can continue to swat until you aren’t mad. You need to tell me when you are not mad.”

Sting – sting – sting – sting – sting – sting – sting.

Quick and swift, over and over, all around from top of my ass to the middle of my thighs.

Ok, i cry mercy!

“I’M NOT MAD…. SIR.”

“You sure?”… STING

“Oh yes Sir. I’m not mad, just wanting this to stop please Sir.”

And it did.

He stood me up, put his arms around me and said, “next time you get mad, instead of being silent or smarting off to me, you will just come assume the position and I will know. So we can avoid the smart ass tone, my anger and annoyance back, and a potential fight. I will spank you until you aren’t mad, so that you can speak to me in calm words. Am I clear?”

“Yes Sir.”

Ahh great. A New rule for the New Year.

But once again, i will tell you…. i know it works. i really was NOT mad anymore when i told him so. i really was able to talk calmly afterward. It really did allow me to refocus and speak kindly. He really did have the best of both of our interests at heart.

And so… when i am mad again next, i will just go Assume the Position…. and do so willingly.

And in case you wondered……. i had cane lines across my ass for several hours and felt the sting for much of the morning…. while he was stretching with the yoga instructor, i was squirming in my chair at the office.

AND….. he liked her, so we will start this next week as a family doing yoga together.

Cheers… to a new year.. a new cane… and a new start!

Hugs,

Marie

147 – How to Start Domestic a Discipline Relationship

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, My Dominant Sir, Spanking, Submission. No Comments on 147 – How to Start Domestic a Discipline Relationship

i get asked quite a bit…….

“how do you recommend we should start?”

i will answer as best i can, by telling you about our personal start. i think we probably started differently than most others have.

Ultimately though, no matter how you end up going about starting, in the words of Nike, “Just do it!”

Don’t over analyze the best or right okay to do it. Just like a race, when the gun goes off – you have to start running. But of course, most people have trained and prepared before they got to the starting line too.

So… on your marks…. Get set…….. and GO! !

Ok, fine… maybe you want (need!) more information than that. i’ll give it to you, but just know… in the end: START!

And with that…….

When i read about how others have started, many talk about how they started with the rules. Negotiated them out and drew up a contract. The contract lists out all the rules to be followed, the types of punishment to be given for infractions, and even the length of time the current contract is to be in effect. This is definitely one way to do it. And i can absolutely see the benefits. However, we didn’t do this. We have been doing Domestic Discipline (DD) now for 2-years and we have never had a contract.

The reason we have never had a contract has nothing to do with the legitimacy or beliefs of it though. We didn’t do it because we didn’t know what to set out as the rules we would use at the start of this.

If you know what you want the rules to be, then i happen to think a contract is absolutely the best way to start. Because that makes the commitment to do DD, the expectations and consequences, and the time frame all very legitimate and clearly stated.

Taking those concepts one at a time, i want to spend a minute endorsing a contract. Again, i think the key here is knowing what you want the rules to be though, and i’ll tell you about our way after this too and what we did when we didn’t know what rules to put in place.

To begin though, why is a contract even a good thing? Well, it is communication between you. Written at that. Just like a business contract, if it’s in writing, you can refer back to it, look for clarity, and like my sister says, “if it’s not in writing, it didn’t happen.” But when it IS in writing, it DID happen. So when you write out a contract and sign, all the parties are committed and agreeing to the arrangement, and knowledgeable about the expectations (and consequences) for success (and failure) to abide by the contract that is set in place.

Stop for a second and i want to add, a contract – whether written or verbal – even helps the Dom. He knows what he expects of her… and he knows that she knows too! And if she doesn’t follow the rules, there is clearly a transgression that must be dealt with. And you, the Dom, didn’t commit the wrong but you are charged with carrying out the correction. You don’t need to feel guilty, give second chances, or think anything more than, “there was a wrong, and I will set it back to right.” So written or oral, rules are good for both sides!

The rules though, in writing, gives the submissive something to look at and see. They don’t get to change on a whim for either of the Head of House (HoH) or his submissive. So no disagreements should arise from unexpected rules put in place or noncompliance of these non stated rules. But the time frame or length of the contract, i would say is even more important, especially when you first start.

The time frame says from this day to this day, this is how we will live. And i think this would likely be the best part of having a contract. There was one particular day that i got so mad that i decided we weren’t doing DD anymore, and screamed, refused the discipline, and walked off. We were in a massive fight and went into The Cold War (of sorts anyway) regarding DD, until the silence was finally broken and we reimplemented it. Had i had a time frame that, at least to start, i would know “this DD lifestyle will end, unless renegotiated and reinstated, on xx/xx date,” i might would’ve not acted the way i did. And instead, tried to be the best submissive possible for the duration, to truly KNOW if this is what i wanted (and needed). people seem to make this be 3- or 6-month increments. This is long enough to commit to this lifestyle, determine if it works, have time to find of these rules are the right ones….. and yet, not so long that if someone wants to change the rules or punishments, or even quit, that there is a time to do it. When the contract nears expiration, you sit down and renegotiate the terms and sign for another term. Especially when you start with DD, this can be especially helpful to know the end date, so you commit to the duration, but if you truly just hate it, it has an end date. But now you can say, “I tried” and truly know you did indeed do just that.

Since we have never had a contract, i have gleaned all that after reading other DD blogs and googling. You can also get ideas and examples of contracts this way too.

But again, that’s not how we did it. The primary reasons we never implemented a contract is because at the very start, i had NO idea what rules to implement! Or which would be good or bad, too much or too little, or ones we both would like or not.

So in my traditional fashion and lifestyle in general, i jumped in with both feet and said, “Let’s just do this!” ……. (ready, set, GO!).

The first thing that i did was to buy a wooden paddle from Amazon, the same one we still use. When it arrived, i said to David, “Let’s start here. Let’s start now.”

i proceeded to immediately go to the bedroom, got naked, and laid on the bed to wait for him. He came in soon after with the paddle and gave me the first ever spanking. It was a very weak paddling. We both knew it. But he had never done this and i had never felt it, so we eased into it from the start. At the time, i was disappointed. But looking back now, i happen to think this was the best way. It gave him an idea of what force to use to get what result. He quickly learned that at THAT level, not much happens. So he now had the base line to work u from there. And so did i.

While i was disappointed, it (the spanking) definitely still stung. But i had wanted and hoped it would H-U-R-T. i wanted to feel his strength, know he was in control, to not be able to sit for a week, to be made to submit, etc. (THAT is a sub frenzy mentality…. and i’m half done with a post on it , so that will be next post up!).

Even though i was disappointed, it already gave me the full taste of what it meant to be submissive. But actually more in the mental sense than the physical sense. Oh, i did know even that day that he had the ability to apply a firm(er) hand and it would most definitely hurt if he were to have gone further, i already knew then that He was in control, not me. He decided how much was enough, not me. He was to be respected and be the one with the “power,” and i was to yield to it. That single first spanking spoke more to my mind than my rear.

And that was how we then started developing, slowly/ one by one, the rules we wanted to implement. As we set them in place, we didn’t ever write them down or make a contract. By the time we got to the place where we knew what we would write down or have in that contract, the contract wasn’t really necessary.

The first rules we set in place were really very simple…… and went like this:

1) When disrespect is shown, punishment will ensue. Respect involves…… (this one is hard because it’s really a matter of opinion) speaking kindly and positively.

As another sign of respect, eventually we added that i am to call him Sir. While i kinda, sometimes said this already, he wanted it to be way more frequently than i was doing.

(In Tx where we live, Sir and Ma’am are used fairly regularly in daily life as a sign of respect. It isn’t just reserved for Dom/sub situations. For example, i say it to employees and clients at work, from a sign of respect. It is most often used when being told to do something. Like if a client says, “I need your firm to help me with xyz.” i might would respond with, “Yes Sir, we can do that.” It is typically on,y used upward in a chain of command, so that the person saying it recognizes the person it is being said to is the one in control and with authority. So i wouldn’t probably ever say it to my son, unless it was to be sarcastic and in a tone that would imply the “who is in control here anyway??” To which, my son would likely recognize that and say something of an apologetic nature and to yield authority back to me. For example, my son might say, “you need to buy me new pencils for school.” And i would resound, “OK, yes Sir!” And he would say, “I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry.”. Point is, Sir is an outward expression of respect and David wanted me to show and say it more frequently than i was.)

2) The very first rule though that i fully endorse is instituting safe words. If a submissive doesn’t have these, real damage – mentally or physically – can be done accidently or on purpose by the Dom. This is needed especially when being punished. The purpose is to be able to have a way to have things/the situation STOP if you are NOT consenting you it. You don’t need a reason to stop. Inserting, but you need a way to do it. This is it!

Most people employ a red light system. David assumes i am Green, all good to go, unless i call out another color. He knows that while i may not be happy about the situation i am in (and the pain i am feeling from being spanked), he also knows that mentally i am ok and accepting. And still consenting!

If, however, i call out “yellow,” it means i am feeling like we need to slow down. But i am still accepting. And lastly, if i call “Red,” whether stated or screamed, i need him to stop immediately. And he would. And every (good) Dom should and would also!

But every submissive should know this is to be used sparingly also! It is not to be overused, or used when not needed. NEVER cry-wolf …. ever. Remember: You have already agreed to this dynamic and you did do something to land you in this place….. but you are NOT allowing him to abuse you either.

This system allows me to control the ultimate outcome. It gives me piece of mind to know that if i ever feel as if i am in trouble, being abused… or just DON’T CONSENT ANYMORE, i have a way out. Which is why EVERY Dom should stop immediately if they hear “Red”. Or whatever safe word you chose.

i have only ever called out yellow once and never red. And it was a time that David was striving to get me there already anyway. So the first spanking established the low end of the range and this one that i called yellow was when he wanted to know what was my high.

From there, over time, we added things as we went along. We still to this day refine the rules often. If you know what you want them to be upfront, even if it is say for 3-months at a time, then by all means write out a contract. But for us, we were experimenting, exploring, and well…. novice. So we made it up as we went along.

Ultimately though, i would tell you to get started you need to do the following:

1) talk about it and agree to it…. written OR verbally. In order to get a general idea of what is expected of one another, and the consequences thereof.

2) decide if you want to make it up at the start or as you go along. This is kinda important because if the sub thinks she knows all the rules and the Dom throws a new one on her, it may not go well unless she already knew this may happen.

3) maybe consider a “practice spanking,” which is what i call our first one now. You don’t have to have a paddle… a hair brush, a wooden spoon, or a belt are all easy at-home-already implements to consider, but a hand works very well also!

And get started! As i said before………

Ready….Set…. GO!

Let me know your thoughts:

If you are a novice, did this help?

If you are experienced, would you add or subtract anything? If so, what?

Hugs,

Marie

146 – Got Spanked?

Written by Marie on . Posted in Punishment, Spanking, Submission. No Comments on 146 – Got Spanked?

Welp, i was right. i just knew things weren’t quite as they should be between David & i lately.

i have been snippy and sassy lately. With words and facial expressions both. And he has been tolerant.

He knew i have not been as-submissive-as-i-ought-to-be. But all he did was raise an eyebrow or make a comment like, “watch it!” So he has issued warnings. But warnings are only good for so long and then you have to do something about it. Or else quit calling out the warnings because they are nothing more than idle threats at that point!

Warnings can be effective for awhile, but at some point, they are no longer a useful tool.

So i also say…. He has been lazy. Yes, that is me calling him out right now. While i didn’t do these things simply to test him, when he allows me to get away with regular and continual disrespect he is being lazy.

And i will add that this can lead to a bad never-ending circle of habits and behaviors on both sides. When i know there is nothing more than a warning coming, i tend to lose (some/temporary) respect for David. i tend to be so annoyed that i roll my eyes and think, “whatever! He won’t do anything. Why should i act better when it won’t matter anyway?”

i will circle back to this idea of how it makes me feel throughout this post too, but right now i will start with…

Why would a dominant be lazy?

Well, i don’t think my Sir intends to be lazy. Sometimes i doubt he even realizes he has been! But i think some of the lazy comes from:

1) Overthinking. Like all of us, sometimes we all get too far in our own heads, including our dominants too. i think he wonders if: a) he gave enough notice/warnings, b) he was in a bad mood and overreacted, c) i wasn’t aware of what i did because i was stressed. Etc etc.

i could come up with a lot of reasons why David may overthink discipline. And so he hesitates.

And so he delays the discipline.

2) Tired. Sometimes fatigue – physical and/or mental happens – even to our dominants. Sometimes we all just want “peace and quiet” and to do our own thing, including our dominant. And they probably think that we should just do the right thing anyway.

So he delays the discipline again.

3) Discipline can be a to-do item. Sometimes it is just another “I have to do (blank) today.” Which becomes a chore. this is sometimes how we both feel about Maintenance on Friday’s. We both know it’s good to do, but sometimes, it just feels like a to-do item.

And he doesn’t want to do that to-do, so he delays discipline even more.

4) Even as a to-do item, does it have to be done “right now”? An analogy comes to mind here ….. doing the dishes. You know you have to clean the dishes. But does it matter if it is right after dinner, before bed, or the next morning? Probably not. But it still does have to get done at some point. And if you don’t do it even the next morning, the next dinner meal comes around and the dishes are likely now still not done.

This causes clutter. Pots and pans are in the way and not allowing any place to cook the next meal, the pans are dirty so what can you cook in anyway, and when it is cooked what will you eat off of since the plates and forks are all dirty still too?

And so the discipline was delayed.. again!!

But at some point…. THE DISCIPLINE HAS TO GET DONE.

Just like the dishes, there can be excuses, call it a to-do, or a hope the submissive does the right thing…. but allowing it to continue is not acceptable. And a warning is now nothing more than an empty threat if the discipline isn’t carried out.

This now sets up a pattern of bad behavior. If the submissive has bad behavior, the dominant does nothing about it, the submissive will (probably – and definitely will in my case!) continue the bad behavior, the bad behavior may even get worse, and at some point…. everything and everyone explodes.

i happen to think this vicious circle is what lead to the (most recent) “Worst Spanking ever.” But this time, i decided to not let it go that far.

Instead of continuing this terrible cycle of bad behavior, i told David, “i have not acted right. i know you know it too. And i need you to spank me. It needs to be hard enough to create remorse on my part. And it should cause you to be put back in place as the HoH and me as your submissive wife.”

Now of course, that sounds like i was the one who took the high ground here and did the right thing. But… i didn’t have the courage to say these words aloud.

i texted David after i left for work!

He wrote back, “when you get home, you need to go assume the position.” [to be spanked…. naked, feet on the floor, bend over at the waist onto the bed, with the paddle resting in the small of my back.]

i simply responded with, “Yes Sir.”

When i got home though, our 16-yr old son was hungry, time for dinner, and other chores took priority. But the minute we ate, i immediately cleaned up the dishes. And announced to our son i was going to our bedroom. He said ok.

David came in almost 15-minutes later and praised me for not having to be reminded to assume the position, despite not having it happen immediately after work.

That was a very long 15 minutes to wait in that position too! My legs were stiff and my back started to hurt from not moving (much) to ensure the paddle didn’t fall from its place.

i typically pray during these times. i pray that God instills a submissive mindset in me, gives David the confidence to discipline as much as i need (not just the making i want… because the “want” is always less than the “need”!), and that i am strong enough to accept the discipline with grace and love in my heart (and mind) to create a change in me.

This day was no different.

And David did indeed spank me more than i wanted. And it did indeed created a change in me. i have been more respectful this last 4-days than i was in the previous 2-weeks.

It hurt! All spankings should! It is always a time that i should, and typically do, get to the mindset of, “why did i do (blank)? This could’ve been avoided. This hurts. This is way worse than what i did to get to this place!”

While many don’t agree with Domestic Discipline (DD), we do. It restores order and cleanliness to our lives. Like having a clean kitchen, it is pretty, neat, more appealing, and ready to be used again the next time out. This is what happens in our marriage when we regularly have DD working-as-intended.

So like cleaning the dishes restores order to the kitchen, DD does that for our marriage. With mutual respect, kindness, compassion, and love … Our marriage is stronger because of it. We both know who is the leader and who is the follower. And that was just as God planned it to be, with my Sir leading my family and me following. But the clutter just happens sometimes in a marriage the same as in a kitchen, with daily use. And like the kitchen dishes, the clutter has to be dealt with and cleaned up. Some marriages don’t ever clean up the clutter for not having a good way to do it, or laziness. We prefer to deal with our marital difficulties with DD. When it is administered, things are cleared up and put back in order.

So now our vicious (bad) cycle has been broken. For now anyway. As much as i wish it weren’t true, i have no doubt this day will come back around again. Because like the dishes, clutter in our marriage happens. But we will deal with it, and set things straight again.

But it does require no one to be (regularly or continually) lazy too. So if all it takes is for me to send a text that basically could’ve said, “please don’t be lazy. i need to know you are in charge and in control. i need to have you show me your strength and ability to lead me and our family everyday. And that means you have to do more than just call out idle threats and DO something. Please turn me over and spank me hard,” then i will do it every time!

To some, asking and accepting a spanking is a challenge. To others, giving a deserved spanking is a challenge. But it works. Every time.

i love my disciplined life!

Hugs,

Marie

106 – Sometimes Submission Hurts.

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Punishment, Spanking, Submission. 7 Comments on 106 – Sometimes Submission Hurts.

More backstory…..About the Worst Spanking Everrrrr.

i heard your concern. And i truly love all of you for feeling comfortable enough to express yourself.

But i think maybe i need to share more with you about what led up to The Worst Spanking Everrrr too. Because context is everything and frankly, i just am not sure i have given you enough.

i always debate how much backstory to give, how much is enough or not enough. i always worry i will bore you (and me too!!) with all these unnecessary tedious details. So sometimes, and this may have been one of those times, some of the details are NOT unnecessary and NOT tedious …. so here goes…..

Did you happen to notice i didn’t give you a lot of info about our vacation? YES it went well. YES what i said was true. i just didn’t go into a lot of detail either……until now…..

Soooo while we stayed in someone else’s house and with our son there too, we knew the discipline would be nonexistent. And i also knew from prior experiences that while David TALKS a lot about keeping a list, tracking the transgressions, making amends upon return…. he almost never follows through.

And i knew it. So every time something happened on vacation that i didn’t like or agree with, i told him. Quite plainly. Quite intentionally. Quite literally….. to test him.

Ok, so that last bit….. testing him….. that was raw and it hurt to type it. i wish i hadn’t said some of the things i did while on vacation. And i was MUCH more bold at the start than at the end. But what’s done is done!

At the start of the week, i was bold and proud and stated what i wanted to in any way i wanted! And he would say, “watch it” and i said “ok”. And he’d say, “I mean it!” And i’d say, “Yes Sir.” But it didn’t deter me. Not really anyway.

This pattern of “edgy – not-so-submissive” attitude and behavior continued. i knew i was playing with fire, but like a fire…. i expected it would eventually flame out and by the time we were home, it would be nothing more than ash.

Since i haven’t given you even one example of what i’m talking about, let me give you one now….

And i was reminded of this particular one because of the word “fire”…….

The people’s home that we stayed in had an outdoor hot tub and fire pit next to one another. We went and got stuff to make s’mores. And i asked David to find out about how to start the fire pit (gas, logs, etc). But he didn’t. And the next day, i said, “we want to do this and you should see about asking today!” He (again) warned me to watch the tone. And i said, “ok.”

Later that day, he started the fire and told us. But our son and i were playing a board game at the time (that easily could have been paused!) and i just said, “ok, we will finish this first.”

And he said, “The fire will go out soon if you don’t get out here and do this.”

i responded, “well fine then!” (In a sarcastic tone). And we went outside.

Then after s’mores, he cleaned up all the remnants (wrappers, extra supplies), and put out the fire while we got in the hot tub. i don’t remember even thanking him, and being honest, i was wondering why he was taking the time to get water and douse the fire logs to put out the fire (100%). i thought it unnecessary since the fire pit was a brick/stand alone put and it seemed a waste of time. ………. (Never mind the fact that “IF” it was needed and NOT done, the whole house could’ve burned down! So the real risk was NOT putting out the entire fire, compared to taking a few trips to get cups of water to fully extinguish the flames.)

Just to put a bit of “good” in this post…. here’s a picture of the sunset view we had that night…. from the hot tub…… (isn’t it absolutely beautiful????)

Now i know that wasn’t such a “terrible” situation but it wasn’t anywhere near “great” either. i was sassy and showed no respect for David. Equally, i also didn’t even appreciate the fact that he not only asked (the homeowners) about the fire …. but he actually went and started it too! And then put it out. And then allowed me and our son to sit and relax in the hot tub too.

And after that attitude and behavior are repeated over and over …. all week long…… it adds up.

And again, i was more or less … testing him. But again, i didn’t figure the Fire would be even be a lit when we were home, so i gave no concern!

Like before, with my previous Post, i guess i haven’t still given you a bunch of examples or specifics. But like before too, i don’t know if all that is necessary or not. If you think it IS necessary to have those details, go ahead and ask!

Then when we were leaving the airport to head home in our vehicle, it seemed David was driving unnecessarily aggressive. i think he was just ready to be home. So i said, “we aren’t in a rush. You need to slow down. This is aggressive driving and not necessary.”

He just glared at me at me and said, “quite enough!”

So i didn’t exactly slip back to submissive ways upon arriving back home! And while what i observed about his driving was indeed true, i didn’t say it at all kind! And our son heard it too. So i didn’t set any sort of positive/good example either!

And just like that… We were home….. and no punishment happened.

It seemed i was right…. the fire had died and only the ash remained. As usual. Per always. No big deal.

There’s NO burn from just ash!

Except it was….. A big deal…..To Me! i didn’t think that’s how it should go. If he isn’t going to follow through, then why waste the breath to say the words? Why even start the fire?? And if you are, then just use that breath to blow it out right then and there!?!

Then you come to yesterday…….

i have told David in (a few) words here and there that i don’t want all the golf lessons. But not very directly or clearly.

i went out to the course with an attitude. i knew it when i got in the car! And it showed itself when i was warming up. And he warned me then.

If you remember, that was when he said he’d take me to the woods and spank me then and there. And i called his bluff. i knew he wouldn’t do it! And i told him so!

So when i blamed him on the course for me having a bad putt…. and he KNEW that i knew to watch the tone and attitude and he had ALREADY WARNED ME!

THAT was when he got angry. And THAT was when he took action. And THAT was when he told me to walk home.

Now ….. i feel like you need a bit of my backstory/thoughts on this too……

We have a LONG history of getting mad at one another and leaving/walking away. Instead of me just doing it (or him just doing it), this time he tested me. i had tested him for over a week and now he was testing me.

He wanted to see how stubborn i was going to be. OR would i submit. Would i actually listen!?!

Additionally, i asked him to help me get into shape and Exercise. And what he didn’t tell me was that he planned all along to quit playing golf longgggg before i was home and to pick me up. Because he wasn’t having any fun at that point either. But he didn’t tell me that…. because again, it was a test. For me. To see what level of difficulty or attitude he was really dealing with. But in the meantime, i would walk (a bit!) and get the exercise i would get anyway.

And when he picked me up, the part i didn’t tell you before…. because i truly never know what detail(s) are enough, too much, just right……

i didn’t jump in the car immediately. He drove beside me and stopped. And i kept walking. He moved up and stopped. And that’s when he said, “Are you getting in?”

And i gave the biggest smart ass answer of all. i said, “i dunno. You haven’t given me permission to get in!”

That’s when he got Reallyyyyy angry. He said, “get in the car now or you will be walking all the way home!”

But it took my own self-talk of, “don’t be stubborn. Just get in the damn car!” To actually get me in the car. So i did.

By the time we got home…. ALL of these things had piled up between us. And neither of us had to speak because we both were angry. We both knew that the way i have been acting is inappropriate.

The fire was NOT just ash… it was flaming high! And my bottom was about to touch it!

He has NO problem listening to me speak …. when i do it in the right way. But the way i’ve been doing it poorly for 10-days now. Even i know, it wasn’t respectful or kind….. and most definitely not submissive!

So maybe that helps you to understand WHY i never saw any of this as extreme. It was overdue actually. It was necessary actions by him that were brought on by me.

SOMETIMES SUBMISSION HURTS.

Sometimes it is not so glamorous. And the pain is real. But submissiveness, in our house, isn’t JUST erotic and sexy. Sometimes it is, but sometimes… it’s not. And it isn’t just INSIDE our house either. But that’s how i’ve acted about it. That’s how i’ve treated it lately especially.

So sometimes, my mind needs a reset by causing my ass to be sore.

And that’s when submission can truly hurt! My ass is still sore but my attitude is infinitely better!

Even so…. i am OK! In fact, i’m better than ok!

And when i played with the Fire…. i got burned. A real butt-burner indeed!

Hugs,

Marie

105 – Worst Spanking Everrrrrrrrr

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Punishment, Spanking, Submission. 17 Comments on 105 – Worst Spanking Everrrrrrrrr

i now know the intensity to which Sir can swing the paddle!

i did not realize how much i have underestimated his commitment to enforcing the lifestyle we have with him being (truly) in control. Until today.

And that makes you ask, “what happened?” Ok, i’ll tell you how i got here….. “here” being sitting ever-so-cautiously on my ever-so-reddened-and-already-bruised-ass! (It hurts SO bad just sitting right now! It is throbbing and i am SO very aware of it with every breath!)

(NO, that photo is NOT me…. but it probably should have been. And it almost was. And my ass is currently redder than that one is too!)

A little bit of backstory……

When we met, he taught me how to play golf. That was almost 25-years ago. He always has been and always will be better than i am. We both know this, and it’s all good and we regularly play together.

Because he taught me to play, he continues to “teach” me ……all the time…. and i don’t accept it (anymore) as graciously as i should or used to. Oh sometimes i like it even now, and i used to always like it… back when i still endeavored to play better. But now, i am to the place that i have a good “enough” game that i know i can play with anyone, so i can just want to go have fun!

So with the “help” that Sir (continually) offers, i feel like every decision i make… club choice, stance, target, alignment, swing, follow through, and …..my attitude…. is under a microscope and all of this takes the fun out of it. Again, at this point in my life and skill set, i just go out to have fun and enjoy the friendship with Sir and others we play with too. And i truly don’t care about improving.

i have considered quitting the game altogether, but i keep thinking i will find a way to tell him, “i just want to have FUN! Please Sir talk about something – anything – except for how to improve my game.” If i could do that, i would still be able to go out to enjoy the game and time together with my Sir. But i continue to fail in this endeavor.

And today’s failure was epic!

We went out this morning and were playing with some friends. This is all good.. so far anyway.

When we were still warming up, he offered some “help,” and i said, “i got this.” And i guess i said it too aggressively or annoyed or something because he came back at me and said, “Don’t test me! You know you are to submit! If you don’t, I won’t hesitate to take you in the woods and use my belt on your ass!”

i said, “Yes Sir” out loud…..

But THEN a minute later i added, “While i heard what you said, i truly don’t think you’d do that. You aren’t going to embarrass either of us in front of all these people or make an awkward moment for our friends.”

And he asked me, “Are you testing me?”

To which in my head, i thought, “Indeed i am! i truly don’t think you’d do any of that! So why even say things we both know aren’t true or really EVER going to happen!?!??”………

But out of my mouth, i said, “No Sir.” (i do keep my mouth shut sometimes! But not often! Lol)

And with that, we were off to the first hole. Then it was on the 3rd hole, is when the real problem occurred!

i was about to putt when he said, “It’s uphill.” (Meaning, hit it a bit harder.) And i thought, “Ignore it. Just have fun.”

But that’s when i slammed the putt and sent the ball wayyyyyyyyyy past the hole. That’s when i looked at him and said, “Yes, i knew it was uphill.” And while the rest of our group heckled me for hitting the ball into another state, David was angry.

As we got back into our cart, he said, “Do not EVER speak to me that way again. It was completely unnecessary and uncalled for!”

To which i responded, “Yes Sir.”

And while i was silent then on, it went downhill from there. A few holes later, after we had sat in complete silence…..he said, “You need to walk home. Now!”

So while i was COMPLETELY angry and did NOT think this was necessary…. i did as i was told. i reallyyyyyyyy wanted to tell him that this was extreme and uncalled for. But i didn’t. i didn’t say a word at all actually, and got out of the cart and started walking. It was probably a 1/2 mile back to the clubhouse, and we live 6-miles from the club too. i did NOT want to do this but i also knew i had to! And i decided that by the time i would be home, not only would i get my steps in for the day, but i would have worked out this anger too.

When i was gone about 5-minutes (not long), Sir texted me and said, “Do not EVER blame me again for something you did!”

Well…….. i knew i should’ve simply said, “Yes Sir” and left it alone. But i didn’t (🤭). Instead, i said, “i heard you the first time and i said ‘Yes Sir’ then and i was silent afterward. And then you tell me to walk home.” (Yeah… i know…. not smart!)

He wrote, “Yes I did! And do you have an issue with that?”

Again, the right answer would be, “No Sir” and be done… but nah…. that’s not my style….. sooooooo….. i wrote……

“YES i do! i did as i was told, yet, you are still mad and taking it out on me!”

And he wrote, “So you are refusing to submit?”

i wrote back, “So i AM doing as told, and i AM walking home. But YES, i do have an issue with it!”

And that’s when i just “had to add”……

“and when i pass out on the road – you have only yourself to blame!”

Yeah, i know…. i was COMPLETELY out of line…. but hey…. go big or go home…. oh, wait, i WAS going home! 🤣🤣🤣

And we texted no more.

i probably walked a mile from the course when he pulled up beside me. And i got in and we drove home in complete silence. (i was pretty grateful when drove up because i was pretty concerned if i’d be able to walk ALL the way home without bodily damage… aka: blisters, heat stroke, severe aches/pains. There IS a reason i want to Exercise… but three days in, i’m NOT in good shape…, yet!)

When we pulled in the driveway, he said, “Go inside and Assume The Position Immediately.”

And i did as i was told. Still in complete silence.

He came in and picked up the paddle and wasted NO time in getting to the point.

WHACK!

WHACK!

WHACK!

Three in a row. NO warm up AT ALL! All with such intensity that i was already cringing and moving around.

WHACK!

WHACK!

Five before he said a word! He asked me, “what makes you think that you only have to submit to me inside our home? “

WHACK!

“Why do you regularly test me and my authority when we leave home??”

WHACK!

“Do you think you are in charge and can only submit when YOU want to?”

WHACK!

Eight in. He never let up long enough for me to respond, so i wasn’t sure if i should try. But i was hyperventilating and felt the tears welling up. He has never hit with such intensity before. i was in shock and surprise.

While we DO have safe words and i debated using it today, i KNEW i HAD to accept this punishment in all that he would administer. So i know now that i will NEVER use those safe words. i don’t need to. i AM already safe. i trust Sir implicitly. i know he will give me what i need and deserve. i also know he will never abuse the power we have both agreed belongs to him. And i will always submit to everything he gives me!

WHACK!

When will it be over? Should i speak now? We’re all those questions rhetorical? We both know the answers already anyway!

WHACK!

Ten. Maybe that’s all.

He said, “Do you know who is in charge?”

This time, i did respond, “Yes Sir. You are.”

“Do you intend to submit 100% of the time from now on?”

“Yes Sir.”

WHACK!

Crap… more. i can barely breath or talk and the tears are in my eyes. How many more??

That’s when he stood me up and hugged me for a good long time….. fully until i was able to breathe again and completely calm. Then he said, “we are done. But you’ll do better in the future. Correct?”

“Yes Sir.”

And i put my head down and walked to the bathroom to shower and truly/completely recover.

That’s when i thought it was over…… And i was wrong!

He came in about 5-minutes later. i was still in the shower yet. And he said, “I didn’t get the impression you were truly remorseful. We may need to start all over.”

And he left.

That was confusing. Now what? Do i re-Assume The Position or not? Please no! My ass stings so badly and the shower water feels like it is spanking me too as i clean it!

But i got out of the shower, went to him, and said, “i am remorseful, but if you don’t think i have acted so, i will submit to a repeat session.”

And he looked me square in the eye and said, “I think we do! Let’s go! Right NOW!”

And he followed me in the bedroom. And we repeated it!

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

And just like that… the hyperventilating and tears returned.

After FIVE more and no pause or words in between, he said, “why did you slink off to the shower? You didn’t seem remorseful but rather still angry. Inappropriate!”

As i was trying to breathe, unsure if another lick was about to fall, and trying to compose myself and thoughts enough to speak…. i said, “i was feeling surprised, humiliated, and trying to stay out of more trouble by just keeping my head down.”

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

“WHO is in control?”

“You are Sir!”

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

“WHO?”

“You Sir. i’m so sorry Sir.”

WHACK!

“Say it again!”

“You are in control Sir and i am sorry Sir.”

Breathe….. prepare for another…. it isn’t coming…. he isn’t speaking….. wait….. breathe slower…. get a grip…..no more are falling, i think maybe it’s over….. this is a long pause….. i am nervous. But i WILL SUBMIT and simply wait!

He stood me up and looked at me.

i looked him in the eye and said, “i am sorry Sir. Thank you for the discipline and your leadership.”

He then said, “I now believe you are remorseful. Why didn’t you apologize the first time?”

“i was embarrassed. And surprised at your intensity. And at your commitment to being in charge. And i wasn’t sure how to respond exactly.”

“In the future, you look me in the eye and you thank me. You don’t slink off or put your head down. Or else we will repeat the punishment again and again until you do.”

“Yes Sir. i love you Sir.”

And he hugged me, and said, “I love you too!”

And it was (finally) over.

And now my ass is more sore than it has EVER been. It hurts to walk, sit, or stand. It is bruised. And it’s no wonder, with 24 very hard and fast whacks in a span of about 20-minutes.

i have NO doubt it will hurt still tomorrow too!

But… it’s over. And it’s ok. i am OK!

i actually respect him more. He is indeed in control. And i have NO doubt he will do what it takes to ensure order remains inside AND out of our house too!

Final words….. so while i names this post “worst spanking ever”…. ,Anne it was the “BEST spanking ever” because we had a break through. A lot changed today….namely: my perspective. And appreciation. And respect. For David. My Sir.

If i had any doubt before, i have NO doubt now……. he is indeed my Sir. And i will always very happily submit to him!

Final (final) words…. to DOMINANTS…… while i can’t speak for all submissives, it is my opinion that we respect you MORE for taking control and doing what needs to be done. Instead of giving a pass, letting something slide, or shying away from discipline altogether. Remember…. many of us, including me, asked you to implement this lifestyle. We know what we signed up for. Please do! Embrace it. Go all in!

And that’s how i feel…. more respect now than ever…. at least until the next time i sit down. JJ. Lol.

Hugs,

Marie