Day 10: My Submissiveness

DAY 10: HOW FAR…What are your hard limits?

Honestly, i don’t have many hard limits at all. i used to. But i have always had a “i’ll try anything once” attitude about everything in life. So when i started with hard limits in this lifestyle, David asked why.

(Side note: i have this personal policy because…just like a kid saying they don’t like peas… how do you know unless you try it?)

He reminded me of all the things, non-sexual, that had i not been willing to “try anything at least once” that i would have missed out on.

Like the hot air balloon ride over the dessert in Arizona. Or the white water rafting in Colorado. Or eating at a restaurant in Paris when the menu was entirely in French and all i could do was point to the middle and pray! (Still don’t know what i actually ate but it was delicious!)

But also the swingers club and the “happy ending massage” and kissing the girl for the first time too. (Never say never)

So why would i now say “that’s not something i am willing to do!”???

After thinking about that a bit.. i had to agree. Mostly. Ha.

So the only true hard limit i have is choking/strangulation. The I-D-E-A of not being able to breathe gives me anxiety, so the actual event would likely through me into a full panic attack! David has no desire to try that for fear of hurting (or killing!) me accidentally. (Phew, don’t need to worry about that one!)

The other things that i’d like to say are hard limits too, (but pushed even a little to “try it at least once” and i would likely relent) are:

1) Water sports…aka peeing on or in me…. i’ve seen that some Head of House (HoH) husbands use it as discipline. David hasn’t tried this, but i know if he did, i’d ultimately submit.

2) permanent markings….. ok, i already have a tattoo and now pierced nipples too…. so not sure if that counts, but i guess permanent markings might not be a hard limit either.

3) snakes …okay, this one is probably a SUPER HARD limit. i am SO very afraid of them!! Irrationally afraid really, but it is what it is.

4) anything that could get me arrested…. yeah, this is probably a hard limit too cuz i have no desire to go to the pokey!

So ultimately my “real” hard limits list is super short, or at least i think it is. And my “probably” hard limits list isn’t that long either.

What would you have on your list? And why wouldn’t you be willing to try it…at least once?




  1. Hard Limits is always a fun topic. 🙂 I know mine have shifted a great deal over time. I’ve loosened up and found new kinks and gained stricter limits in a bunch of areas. I’ve also stumbled across some kinks that are just so far outside of my wheelhouse I can’t agree to try them… ever! My list of hard limits is actually rather long.

  2. I mentioned this in a comment of one of your earlier posts, but things being scripturally sound is a big thing for me. In reading your blog, it seems my DD relationship is more on the side of submission in the every day life and yours goes further into the bedroom. (And that is OK! Everyone finds their own way in this lifestyle, there’s no one way to DD.) So things that I would find immodest in front of others would be a hard-line, as would sexual relations outside of my marriage. A lot of the links you mentioned are maybe, but my husband doesn’t seem to be very kinky and I’m not sure if he’d like it if he knew that I get wet when he spanks. ☺️

    • Valerie – we try to be D/s in ALL sides of our relationship. I say Yes Sir all the time, in and out of the bedroom. Our son knows that Dad is the ultimate decision-maker. But that Mom has input too. And yes, my husband is kinky and so am I, so even dominating and submitting in the bedroom is also a big part of our relationship. (And I mostly talk about the sexy stuff here because I can’t tell people I know!!! 😉). Marie.

      • I’m submissive in the bedroom in that I don’t deny my husband when he wants sex, and we actually do follow the biblical rules about when we can resume relations after a baby is born (Leviticus). But we haven’t really roleplayed with any bedroom domination/submission so to speak. Our sex is fairly vanilla. We don’t even really do oral, except that I will when I’m on my period (suuuper not into period sex). We believe in surrendering the decision about the size of our family to God, and that includes my Husband finishing inside me every time and letting God decide whether that will make a baby, lol. I must admit, there are times when I’m not sure that was the right choice, but I feel that I always have to trust in the Lord.

      • I like your way of thinking. After almost 20-years married, and 5-years dating, our “vanilla” sex had become just that …. and that’s when we spiced it up … to try other “flavors” has been good. But definitely not for everyone. 😉

  3. Love your blog read every single post. Admittedly I’m behind but that’s fine.
    But sitting in a parking lot topless will deffently get you arrested.. from experience lol

    • Thank you Doe –
      Yeah, I honestly don’t think we will be doing this again. I think it was more of a test to see how submissive I’d be …. Aka… trust. But I figure “if” it were to happen again, it would be at night, in a place that no one can see, etc. ☺️

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